~ Hitting Bottom ~
My life closed twice before its close.
Emily Dickinson
Doesn't every
addict, sooner or later, face some kind of incomprehensible end to something
they hold dear, all because of their addiction?
I certainly
did. In my late thirties, in the plum Ivy League job that was the envy of all
those I'd gone to graduate school with, I was fired. The fact was, though I'd
tried to put a good face on it, I was up to my eyebrows in my disease of
compulsive overeating and was consequently seriously depressed. Or was I
seriously depressed and consequently...?
No matter. I
had been in a hole the width and depth of which I could not overcome. Day after
day I would sit in my office with the door closed, work piled on my desk,
unable to make headway. I had done this for over a year. Then the ax fell, and
there I was, a depressed, overweight workaholic without work.
Fortunately
for me, by this time I had already found program, and although I was a newcomer
of only six months, I knew enough that I was lucky to have lost my job.
Although I would never have quit it, it would have eventually led to the loss
of my health and sanity, what was left of them. I was in that important and
prestigious job for all the wrong reasons, but mainly as a balm to my tiny and
broken self-esteem.
The fact was,
the healing for my self-loathing wasn't in a fancy title or professional
honors. It was in the spiritual life and the recovery of mind, body, heart, and
spirit that I found in program.
I learned for
myself that hitting bottom is not the end. I let my Higher Power into my life,
and it was the beginning of a more honest and worthy way of living.
One day at a
time... . . .
I turn my life
over to my Higher Power to make of it what She will. It makes every day a good
day.
~ Roberta ~
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Each Day a New Beginning
Fantasies are
more than substitutes for unpleasant reality; they are also dress
rehearsals, plans. All acts performed in the world begin in the
imagination.
—Barbara Grizzuti Harrison
Our minds mold who we become. Our thoughts not only contribute to our achievements, they determine the posture of our lives. How very powerful they are. Fortunately, we have the power to think the thoughts we choose, which means our lives will unfold much as we expect.
The seeds we plant in our minds indicate the directions we'll explore in our development. And we won't explore areas we've never given attention to in our reflective moments. We must dare to dream extravagant, improbable dreams if we intend to find a new direction, and the steps necessary to it.
We will not achieve, we will not master that which goes unplanned in our dream world. We imagine first, and then we conceive the execution of a plan. Our minds prepare us for success. They can also prepare us for failure if we let our thoughts become negative.
I can succeed with my fondest hopes. But I must believe in my potential for success. I will ponder the positive today.
—Barbara Grizzuti Harrison
Our minds mold who we become. Our thoughts not only contribute to our achievements, they determine the posture of our lives. How very powerful they are. Fortunately, we have the power to think the thoughts we choose, which means our lives will unfold much as we expect.
The seeds we plant in our minds indicate the directions we'll explore in our development. And we won't explore areas we've never given attention to in our reflective moments. We must dare to dream extravagant, improbable dreams if we intend to find a new direction, and the steps necessary to it.
We will not achieve, we will not master that which goes unplanned in our dream world. We imagine first, and then we conceive the execution of a plan. Our minds prepare us for success. They can also prepare us for failure if we let our thoughts become negative.
I can succeed with my fondest hopes. But I must believe in my potential for success. I will ponder the positive today.
From Each Day a New Beginning: Daily Meditations for Women by Karen Casey
© 1982, 1991 by Hazelden Foundation.
*************************************************************
Food for Thought
Don't Anticipate
We wear ourselves out unnecessarily when we spend our energy anticipating the future rather than living in the present. To anticipate bad things is obviously detrimental to our serenity. It is also needless, since most of the things we worry about never happen. Even if some of them do occur, it is easier by far to deal with real disasters than with imagined ones.
Anticipating future satisfactions can also be detrimental to our serenity. If we are living for an event or condition, which is yet to come, we are not completely alive to what is here now. We may build up some future pleasure in our minds to such an unrealistic pitch that the actual event is bound to be disappointing.
Accepting the here and now is what ensures our sanity and our serenity. Reality is never more than we can manage, with the help of our Higher Power. It is our anticipation of the future, which is unreal and dangerous.
May I live today and leave the future to You.
We wear ourselves out unnecessarily when we spend our energy anticipating the future rather than living in the present. To anticipate bad things is obviously detrimental to our serenity. It is also needless, since most of the things we worry about never happen. Even if some of them do occur, it is easier by far to deal with real disasters than with imagined ones.
Anticipating future satisfactions can also be detrimental to our serenity. If we are living for an event or condition, which is yet to come, we are not completely alive to what is here now. We may build up some future pleasure in our minds to such an unrealistic pitch that the actual event is bound to be disappointing.
Accepting the here and now is what ensures our sanity and our serenity. Reality is never more than we can manage, with the help of our Higher Power. It is our anticipation of the future, which is unreal and dangerous.
May I live today and leave the future to You.
From Food for Thought: Daily Meditations for Overeaters by Elisabeth L.
©1980, 1992 by Hazelden Foundation.
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The Language of Letting Go
Timing
Wait until the time is right. It is self-defeating to postpone or procrastinate; it is also self-defeating to act too soon, before the time is right.
Sometimes, we panic and take action out of fear. Sometimes, we take untimely action for revenge or because we want to punish someone. We act or speak too soon as a way to control or force someone to action. Sometimes, we take action too soon to relieve feelings of discomfort or anxiety about how a situation will turn out.
An action taken too soon can be as ineffective as one taken too late. It can backfire and cause more problems than it solves. Usually, when we wait until the time is right - sometimes only a matter of minutes or hours - the discomfort dissolves, and we're empowered to accomplish what we need to do.
In recovery, we are learning to be effective.
Our answers will come. Our guidance will come. Pray. Trust. Wait. Let go. We are being led. We are being guided.
Today, I will let go of my need to control by waiting until the time is right. When the time is right, I will take action.
Wait until the time is right. It is self-defeating to postpone or procrastinate; it is also self-defeating to act too soon, before the time is right.
Sometimes, we panic and take action out of fear. Sometimes, we take untimely action for revenge or because we want to punish someone. We act or speak too soon as a way to control or force someone to action. Sometimes, we take action too soon to relieve feelings of discomfort or anxiety about how a situation will turn out.
An action taken too soon can be as ineffective as one taken too late. It can backfire and cause more problems than it solves. Usually, when we wait until the time is right - sometimes only a matter of minutes or hours - the discomfort dissolves, and we're empowered to accomplish what we need to do.
In recovery, we are learning to be effective.
Our answers will come. Our guidance will come. Pray. Trust. Wait. Let go. We are being led. We are being guided.
Today, I will let go of my need to control by waiting until the time is right. When the time is right, I will take action.
From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie
©1990, Hazelden Foundation
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If the only tool you have is a hammer, you tend to see every problem as a nail.
-- Abraham Maslow
When we can take a long view of our problems, we can sometimes see that we're using inappropriate tools to try to solve them. What's necessary for us to do is to move away, to detach. That may show us a whole new context into which our problem fits, and in which it may not even be a problem.
Detachment is hard to achieve when we're deeply hooked into a situation. When we send ourselves drastic messages like "now or never!" we're pressing our noses right up against the problem - a position in which it's difficult to maintain a balanced view. To stop and say, "If not now, then perhaps some other time," unhooks us and lets us remember that life is richer and more varied than we thought when we were hooked.
Crisis thinking can be like a hammer - it flattens everything. This can be our way of trying to control the outcome of our individual struggle. But when we remember that we make up only small parts of one grand and beautiful design. We can surrender our problems to it.
To be a competent worker, I will seek out the tools that are best suited to my task.
You are reading from the book:
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