~ INNER STRENGTH ~
Troubles are often the tools
by which God fashions us for better things.
H. W. Beecher
I often
wondered why so much seemed to happen to me. Why was it that no sooner had I
picked myself up from some trauma or tragedy than another one came along. Most
people had never had car accidents, but I'd had two, one almost
life-threatening. I'd been through an unpleasant divorce; I lost a brother and
a stepson, both dying unnatural deaths at an early age, and could not
understand why these kinds of things were always happening to me. I used to be
so angry with God. "Why me?" I'd ask. It just seemed so unfair.
Everybody else appeared to have lives that were so much better and free of all
this trauma. For a long time I retreated into depression and food to cope with
what seemed to be a miserable life.
But God must
have had other plans for me. I truly believe I must have been guided to my
first meeting so that I would not only find a way to live free of my compulsive
eating, but would also be able to learn some lessons from my seemingly tough
life. I have been very blessed in that, because of all my experiences, and the
fact that I was literally brought to my knees and had to seek God out, I have
learned the meaning of true spirituality. I have also learned some valuable
lessons from all these experiences that have made me a much stronger person. I
have so much more to offer than I would have had my life been the nice easy one
I always wanted. Because of what I have learned as a result of my many
struggles and difficult times, I am now able to pass on that wisdom to others
on this journey of recovery.
One Day at a
Time . . .
I will try to
remember that when God sends me difficulties, I must view them as lessons He
wants me to learn so I can become a better and more useful person.
~Sharon S.~
**********************************************
Each Day a New Beginning
It is the calm
after the storm. I feel a rainbow where there once were clouds, and
while my Spirit dances in gratitude, my mind speculates on the next
disaster. Duality.
—Mary Casey
Our growth as women is contingent on our ability to flow with the dualities, the contradictions inherent in one's lifetime, not only to flow with them but also to capitalize on them.
We are not offered a painless existence, but we are offered opportunities for gathering perspective from the painful moments. And our perspectives are cushioned by the principles of the program. The rough edges of life, the storms that whip our very being, are gifts in disguise. We see life anew, when the storm has subsided.
We can enjoy the calm, if that surrounds us today. We deserve the resting periods. They give us a chance to contemplate and make fully our own that which the recent storm brought so forcefully to our attention. We are powerless over the storm's onslaught. But we can gain from it and be assured that the storm gives all the meaning there is in the calm.
I will be glad today for the clouds or the rainbows. Both are meant for my good. And without both, neither has meaning.
—Mary Casey
Our growth as women is contingent on our ability to flow with the dualities, the contradictions inherent in one's lifetime, not only to flow with them but also to capitalize on them.
We are not offered a painless existence, but we are offered opportunities for gathering perspective from the painful moments. And our perspectives are cushioned by the principles of the program. The rough edges of life, the storms that whip our very being, are gifts in disguise. We see life anew, when the storm has subsided.
We can enjoy the calm, if that surrounds us today. We deserve the resting periods. They give us a chance to contemplate and make fully our own that which the recent storm brought so forcefully to our attention. We are powerless over the storm's onslaught. But we can gain from it and be assured that the storm gives all the meaning there is in the calm.
I will be glad today for the clouds or the rainbows. Both are meant for my good. And without both, neither has meaning.
*****************************************************
Food for Thought
Learning Moderation
If we had known how to practice moderation, we would not have become compulsive overeaters. Following the abstinence guidelines enables us to eat moderately. Working the Twelve Steps teaches us moderation in other activities.
Knowing when to quit involves knowing ourselves. We tend to get carried away with our determination to finish a job today, to explain our life history to a new friend in one afternoon, to complete a major project in record time. The tendency to devour life rapidly in huge chunks can be as damaging as compulsive overeating.
It is the serenity we acquire from contact with our Higher Power that saves us from wearing ourselves out compulsively. An awareness of the quiet Power and order, which sustains all life calms our over-stimulated personalities. Dependence on God as we understand Him gives us the support and confidence we need to be content with moderate efforts and accomplishments.
Teach me to practice moderation.
If we had known how to practice moderation, we would not have become compulsive overeaters. Following the abstinence guidelines enables us to eat moderately. Working the Twelve Steps teaches us moderation in other activities.
Knowing when to quit involves knowing ourselves. We tend to get carried away with our determination to finish a job today, to explain our life history to a new friend in one afternoon, to complete a major project in record time. The tendency to devour life rapidly in huge chunks can be as damaging as compulsive overeating.
It is the serenity we acquire from contact with our Higher Power that saves us from wearing ourselves out compulsively. An awareness of the quiet Power and order, which sustains all life calms our over-stimulated personalities. Dependence on God as we understand Him gives us the support and confidence we need to be content with moderate efforts and accomplishments.
Teach me to practice moderation.
*************************************************************
The Language of Letting Go
Denial
Denial is fertile breeding ground for the behaviors we call codependent: controlling, focusing on others, and neglecting ourselves. Illness and compulsive or addictive behaviors can emerge during denial.
Denial can be confusing because it resembles sleeping. We're not really aware we're doing it until we're done doing it. Forcing ourselves - or anyone else - to face the truth usually doesn't help. We won't face the facts until we are ready. Neither, it seems, will anyone else. We may admit to the truth for a moment, but we won't let ourselves know what we know until we feel safe, secure, and prepared enough to deal and cope with it.
Talking to friends who know, love, support, encourage, and affirm us helps.
Being gentle, loving, and affirming with ourselves helps. Asking ourselves, and our Higher Power, to guide us into and through change helps.
The first step toward acceptance is denial. The first step toward moving through denial is accepting that we may be in denial, and then gently allowing ourselves to move through.
God, help me feel safe and secure enough today to accept what I need to accept.
Denial is fertile breeding ground for the behaviors we call codependent: controlling, focusing on others, and neglecting ourselves. Illness and compulsive or addictive behaviors can emerge during denial.
Denial can be confusing because it resembles sleeping. We're not really aware we're doing it until we're done doing it. Forcing ourselves - or anyone else - to face the truth usually doesn't help. We won't face the facts until we are ready. Neither, it seems, will anyone else. We may admit to the truth for a moment, but we won't let ourselves know what we know until we feel safe, secure, and prepared enough to deal and cope with it.
Talking to friends who know, love, support, encourage, and affirm us helps.
Being gentle, loving, and affirming with ourselves helps. Asking ourselves, and our Higher Power, to guide us into and through change helps.
The first step toward acceptance is denial. The first step toward moving through denial is accepting that we may be in denial, and then gently allowing ourselves to move through.
God, help me feel safe and secure enough today to accept what I need to accept.
*************************************************************
All things pass... Patience attains all that it strives for.
-- St. Teresa of Avila
Some days, it seems like our struggles will never end. The pain, the loss, the heartaches, the failures we can recount them all. Where is the strength to go on?
What if we began our day by acknowledging that all things pass? That given time, effort, and patience, we can accept or accomplish most anything? But patience does not mean complacency. On the contrary, each day in recovery requires a new attitude, a new outlook that in time generates its own positive energy for growth and change.
We need strength and patience not only in the difficult moments, but in the easier ones - the days of comfort when things seem to be going almost too well.
Soon, we can look back across the months and see growth. As the skills of the dancer or the carpenter increase with time and patience, so do our skills in recovery. As we grow in recovery, becoming ever more patient, we become ever more in tune with our Higher Power and the promise of a new life.
Today grant me the patience to live in the moment. Help me be willing to believe that all things pass and I can live better in sobriety.
You are reading from the book:
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