Recovery Meditations: November 4th
~ SERVICE ~
When people are serving, life is no longer meaningless.
John Gardner
I used to
always think that I was kind and helpful, and that I was always there for other
people. Well, of course I was. I was a people-pleaser, and the payoff was to be
liked. That never happened, or at least I didn't think so, and I became more
resentful and full of self-pity. The truth was that I was so self-absorbed and
self-seeking that I didn't know how to really be there for other people, not
even my own children. I'm sure that for a long period, even though I was always
doing things for them, I was emotionally absent and unavailable when they
really needed me. The focus was on me and how fat I looked, or how nobody
fulfilled my needs, instead of looking outside of myself to what I could REALLY
do for others.
This recovery
program has taught me, first and foremost, how to love myself so that I am able
to love others, especially my children. I was spiritually and emotionally empty
before, but now I am being constantly filled and nurtured spiritually. Now I am
able to give back what has freely been given to me. I am learning for the first
time the pleasure of giving of myself, of my time and my experience, strength
and hope, that others may walk this beautiful road to recovery as I have. In
giving what I have, I am strengthening my program and my own recovery. What a
joy that has been!
One Day at a
Time . . .
I remember
that when I do service and give away what I have, I will experience the
promises of the program on a daily basis.
~ Sharon S. ~
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Each Day a New Beginning
Beginnings are apt to be shadowy.
—Rachel Carson
When we embark on a new career, open an unfamiliar door, begin a loving relationship, we can seldom see nor can we even anticipate where the experience may take us. At best we can see only what this day brings. We can trust with certainty that we will be safely led through the "shadows."
To make gains in this life we must venture forth to new places, contact new people, chance new experiences. Even though we may be fearful of the new, we must go forward. It's comforting to remember that we never take any step alone. It is our destiny to experience many new beginnings. And a dimension of the growth process is to develop trust that each of these experiences will in time comfort us and offer us the knowledge our inner self awaits. Without the new beginnings we are unable to fulfill the purpose for which we've been created.
No new beginning is more than we can handle. Every new beginning is needed by our developing selves, and we are ready for whatever comes.
I will look to my new beginnings gladly. They are special to the growth I am now ready for.
—Rachel Carson
When we embark on a new career, open an unfamiliar door, begin a loving relationship, we can seldom see nor can we even anticipate where the experience may take us. At best we can see only what this day brings. We can trust with certainty that we will be safely led through the "shadows."
To make gains in this life we must venture forth to new places, contact new people, chance new experiences. Even though we may be fearful of the new, we must go forward. It's comforting to remember that we never take any step alone. It is our destiny to experience many new beginnings. And a dimension of the growth process is to develop trust that each of these experiences will in time comfort us and offer us the knowledge our inner self awaits. Without the new beginnings we are unable to fulfill the purpose for which we've been created.
No new beginning is more than we can handle. Every new beginning is needed by our developing selves, and we are ready for whatever comes.
I will look to my new beginnings gladly. They are special to the growth I am now ready for.
From Each Day a New Beginning: Daily Meditations for Women by Karen Casey
© 1982, 1991 by Hazelden Foundation.
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Food for Thought
How Much Is Enough?
We continue to weigh and measure our food when we are maintaining as well as when we are losing. Since we are compulsive overeaters, we do not have a built in concept of how much food is enough. Exact measurements relieve us of the anxiety of deciding how much is enough. Since we are experts at rationalizing extra amounts, we do not allow ourselves to estimate portions when scales and measuring cups are available.
For the compulsive overeater, no amount of food is enough. We make a rational decision about our food plan for the day, basing the decision on the objective nutritional requirements of our body rather than subjective emotional cravings. We give this food plan to a qualified sponsor, which prevents us from getting lost in endless preoccupation and anxiety about what we are going to eat.
When we conscientiously follow the abstinence guidelines, we can rest secure in the knowledge that we have eaten the right amount of food.
May I be satisfied with enough.
We continue to weigh and measure our food when we are maintaining as well as when we are losing. Since we are compulsive overeaters, we do not have a built in concept of how much food is enough. Exact measurements relieve us of the anxiety of deciding how much is enough. Since we are experts at rationalizing extra amounts, we do not allow ourselves to estimate portions when scales and measuring cups are available.
For the compulsive overeater, no amount of food is enough. We make a rational decision about our food plan for the day, basing the decision on the objective nutritional requirements of our body rather than subjective emotional cravings. We give this food plan to a qualified sponsor, which prevents us from getting lost in endless preoccupation and anxiety about what we are going to eat.
When we conscientiously follow the abstinence guidelines, we can rest secure in the knowledge that we have eaten the right amount of food.
May I be satisfied with enough.
From Food for Thought: Daily Meditations for Overeaters by Elisabeth L.
©1980, 1992 by Hazelden Foundation
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The Language of Letting Go
Anger
Feeling angry - and, sometimes, the act of blaming - is a natural and necessary part of accepting loss and change - of grieving. We can allow ourselves and others to become angry as we move from denial toward acceptance.
As we come to terms with loss and change, we may blame our higher Power, others, or ourselves. The person may be connected to the loss, or he or she may be an innocent bystander. We may hear ourselves say: "If only he would have done that... If I wouldn't have done that... Why didn't God do it differently?"... We know that blame doesn't help. In recovery, the watchwords are self-responsibility and personal accountability, not blame. Ultimately, surrender and self-responsibility are the only concepts that can move us forward, but to get there we may need to allow ourselves to feel angry and to occasionally indulge in some blaming.
It is helpful, in dealing with others, to remember that they, too, may need to go through their angry stage to achieve acceptance. To not allow others, or ourselves, to go through anger and blame may slow down the grief process.
Trust the grief process and ourselves. We won't stay angry forever. But we may need to get mad for a while as we search over what could have been, to finally accept what is.
God, help me learn to accept my own and others' anger as a normal part of achieving acceptance and peace. Within that framework, help me strive for personal accountability.
Feeling angry - and, sometimes, the act of blaming - is a natural and necessary part of accepting loss and change - of grieving. We can allow ourselves and others to become angry as we move from denial toward acceptance.
As we come to terms with loss and change, we may blame our higher Power, others, or ourselves. The person may be connected to the loss, or he or she may be an innocent bystander. We may hear ourselves say: "If only he would have done that... If I wouldn't have done that... Why didn't God do it differently?"... We know that blame doesn't help. In recovery, the watchwords are self-responsibility and personal accountability, not blame. Ultimately, surrender and self-responsibility are the only concepts that can move us forward, but to get there we may need to allow ourselves to feel angry and to occasionally indulge in some blaming.
It is helpful, in dealing with others, to remember that they, too, may need to go through their angry stage to achieve acceptance. To not allow others, or ourselves, to go through anger and blame may slow down the grief process.
Trust the grief process and ourselves. We won't stay angry forever. But we may need to get mad for a while as we search over what could have been, to finally accept what is.
God, help me learn to accept my own and others' anger as a normal part of achieving acceptance and peace. Within that framework, help me strive for personal accountability.
From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie
©1990, Hazelden Foundation
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Enjoying reality
Cloud Nine does not compare to the joys and beauty of a clean life. In fact, Cloud Nine is opposed to our new way of life. It's a fantasy, a trip, a high - like that first drink, fix, or pill.
Now we are dealing with reality - a real and beautiful place instead of a fanciful dream. Each day can be a journey with our Higher Power, beyond pain and suffering, beyond Cloud Nine, in the wonderful here and now.
Am I learning to enjoy today?
I pray for guidance through all aspects of growing, so I don't get stuck in any one place.
You are reading from the book:
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