~ HONESTY ~
You never find yourself until you face the truth.
Pearl Bailey
I was brought
up to be scrupulously honest, or so I thought. I still remember how my father
would go back into a shop if he'd been given too much change, a practice that I
adopted too. I found it hard to tell a lie, even a white lie, and I would never
contemplate cheating on a test. But when it came to food, I only realized
later, I was totally dishonest. I was even dishonest when it came to telling
people how I felt, or for that matter who I really was. The person who did
these things was a totally different person to the upright person I liked
people to see.
I know now
that all the things I'd hidden around food were obviously what I felt ashamed
about. I wanted people to see only the "good" side of me and not the
person who did all these devious things in secret. I kept thinking that I was a
bad person and the shame stopped me from being totally honest about what I had
been doing.
It has taken
time, and the love and acceptance I have found in the fellowship, to be able to
get totally honest with myself. It has taken time to look at all the things
about me that I felt ashamed of. In the housecleaning necessary in the Steps, I
have been able to face my shame. I learned that I am human, and that I have a
disease. Some of the soul searching has been very painful, but at the same time
it has been totally enlightening. I am amazed how I am beginning to know a new
me, with faults and all, but a loveable me nevertheless. As I peel off more
layers of the onion that represents the sum total of what makes me unique and
truly one of God's creatures, I am actually beginning to like the new me. I
know now that I am not a bad person trying to get good, merely a sick person
trying to get well.
One Day at a
Time . . .
I will keep
being honest about who I am, what I eat and how I am behaving in my
relationships, so I can learn more about me. Even when I don't like what I see,
I know I am still a loveable person and a child of God, created in His image.
~ Sharon S. ~
*******************************************************
Each Day a New Beginning
Do not compare
yourself with others, for you are a unique and wonderful creation. Make
your own beautiful footprints in the snow.
—Barbara Kimball
Comparisons we make of ourselves to other women do destruction far greater than our conscious minds are aware of. Positioning ourselves or her on the "beloved pedestal" prevents the equality of sisterhood that offers each woman the freedom to be solely herself.
Comparisons in which we are the losers darken the moment, cut us off from the actual rhythms of that moment. The consequences can be grave. Within any moment might be the opportunity we've awaited, the opportunity to achieve a particular dream. We must not miss our opportunities.
Each life is symbolized by a particular set of footprints in the snow. How wonderful and how freeing to know that we each offer something uniquely our own. We need never compete to be noticed. Each of us is guaranteed recognition for what we contribute, because it is offered by us alone.
Envy eats at us; it interferes with all of our interactions. It possesses all of our thoughts, caging us, denying us the freedom to achieve that can be ours.
I will look with love on my sisters. I will free them and myself to be all we are capable of becoming.
—Barbara Kimball
Comparisons we make of ourselves to other women do destruction far greater than our conscious minds are aware of. Positioning ourselves or her on the "beloved pedestal" prevents the equality of sisterhood that offers each woman the freedom to be solely herself.
Comparisons in which we are the losers darken the moment, cut us off from the actual rhythms of that moment. The consequences can be grave. Within any moment might be the opportunity we've awaited, the opportunity to achieve a particular dream. We must not miss our opportunities.
Each life is symbolized by a particular set of footprints in the snow. How wonderful and how freeing to know that we each offer something uniquely our own. We need never compete to be noticed. Each of us is guaranteed recognition for what we contribute, because it is offered by us alone.
Envy eats at us; it interferes with all of our interactions. It possesses all of our thoughts, caging us, denying us the freedom to achieve that can be ours.
I will look with love on my sisters. I will free them and myself to be all we are capable of becoming.
From Each Day a New Beginning: Daily Meditations for Women by Karen Casey
© 1982, 1991 by Hazelden Foundation
***********************************************************
Food for Thought
No Exit
We have tried many ways of avoiding problems and pain. In addition to food, we may have used alcohol, drugs, sleep, sex, compulsive activity, or excessive daydreaming to try to escape whatever it was that we did not want to encounter. Undoubtedly, we found that nothing worked permanently; the problem or pain remained.
It is the attempt to avoid discomfort that turns fear into panic. Whatever troubles or threatens us becomes more unmanageable when we pretend that it does not exist. Now that we have the OA program and contact with a Power greater than ourselves, we can confront our problems without searching frantically for an exit from reality.
Our pain is what teaches us the things we need to know. By being willing to be broken, we are able to become whole. Through our distress, we are watched over by the One who heals us. We need no exit.
Thank You for the faith that overcomes panic.
We have tried many ways of avoiding problems and pain. In addition to food, we may have used alcohol, drugs, sleep, sex, compulsive activity, or excessive daydreaming to try to escape whatever it was that we did not want to encounter. Undoubtedly, we found that nothing worked permanently; the problem or pain remained.
It is the attempt to avoid discomfort that turns fear into panic. Whatever troubles or threatens us becomes more unmanageable when we pretend that it does not exist. Now that we have the OA program and contact with a Power greater than ourselves, we can confront our problems without searching frantically for an exit from reality.
Our pain is what teaches us the things we need to know. By being willing to be broken, we are able to become whole. Through our distress, we are watched over by the One who heals us. We need no exit.
Thank You for the faith that overcomes panic.
From Food for Thought: Daily Meditations for Overeaters by Elisabeth L.
©1980, 1992 by Hazelden Foundation.
*******************************************************************
The Language of Letting Go
Allowing Ourselves to be Nurtured
Let yourself be nurtured and loved. Let people be there for you. Allow yourself to be held when it would feel good. Let someone listen to you, support and encourage you when you need that. Receive comfort from someone's physical presence when you need that. Allow yourself to be supported emotionally and cared about.
For too long, we've stood in the background, attending to the needs of others and claiming we have no needs of our own. We've shut off, for to long, the part of us that longs to be nurtured.
It is time, now, to claim those needs, to identify them, and to understand that we deserve to have them met.
What are our needs? What would feel good? What kinds of ways would we like others to nurture and support us? The clearer we can be about our needs, the greater the possibility they will be met.
Hugs. A listening ear. Support. Encouragement. The physical and emotional presence of people who care about us. Doesn't that sound good? Tempting?
Someone once said to me, "The eighties have been a 'me' decade. Now, maybe the nineties can be a 'you' decade."
My reply was immediate. "Let's make the nineties a 'me' and 'you' decade."
No matter how long we've been recovering, we never outgrow our need for nurturing and love.
Today, I will open to recognizing my needs for nurturing. I will be open to the needs of those around me too. I can begin taking a nurturing, loving attitude toward myself and by taking responsibility for my needs in relationships.
Let yourself be nurtured and loved. Let people be there for you. Allow yourself to be held when it would feel good. Let someone listen to you, support and encourage you when you need that. Receive comfort from someone's physical presence when you need that. Allow yourself to be supported emotionally and cared about.
For too long, we've stood in the background, attending to the needs of others and claiming we have no needs of our own. We've shut off, for to long, the part of us that longs to be nurtured.
It is time, now, to claim those needs, to identify them, and to understand that we deserve to have them met.
What are our needs? What would feel good? What kinds of ways would we like others to nurture and support us? The clearer we can be about our needs, the greater the possibility they will be met.
Hugs. A listening ear. Support. Encouragement. The physical and emotional presence of people who care about us. Doesn't that sound good? Tempting?
Someone once said to me, "The eighties have been a 'me' decade. Now, maybe the nineties can be a 'you' decade."
My reply was immediate. "Let's make the nineties a 'me' and 'you' decade."
No matter how long we've been recovering, we never outgrow our need for nurturing and love.
Today, I will open to recognizing my needs for nurturing. I will be open to the needs of those around me too. I can begin taking a nurturing, loving attitude toward myself and by taking responsibility for my needs in relationships.
*************************************************************
Birds sing after a storm. Why shouldn't we?
--Rose Kennedy
Some of us have been through an awful lot. We have endured pain and hopelessness. Now we have some choices to make. We can allow our pasts to make us feel bad about ourselves or we can sing after the storm. We can feel proud that we are not giving up, we are not willing to be destroyed.
The past won't change, and the bad things won't magically go away. But we can learn to move forward.
We can put the past where it belongs, close enough so we'll never forget, and far enough away so we don't give it all of our attention. The sun doesn't just make rainbows for other people; they're for us too.
Today let me tell myself that it's okay to feel good about myself.
You are reading from the book:
From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie
©1990, Hazelden Foundation
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