Recovery Meditations: September 4th

ACTION

“Men at some time are the masters of their fates.”
William Shakespeare


When I first approached Step Four I did so with fear. To make “a searching and fearless moral inventory” of myself seemed like an impossible task. I had so many resentments and fears I did not know where to start. I felt very overwhelmed. When I shared this with my sponsor, she sat down with me and I took a pen and paper and we started. Just seeing something down on paper gave me the courage to go on. I took the inventory person-by-person for my resentments and sex conduct, and fear-by-fear for my fear inventory. At first it was hard to see my part. I wanted to be a victim. But with the help of my sponsor I began to see my part. I began to take action.

No longer was I the victim, but I became the master of my fate for the purposes of my recovery. I chose to make a searching and fearless moral inventory. No, it wasn’t easy, but step-by-step, I completed it. It wasn’t nearly as overwhelming as I thought it would be. Step Four requires much action, and I must choose to take it.

One Day at a Time . . .
I will choose to take action in my recovery and be fearless and thorough no matter where I am on my journey.

~ Carolyn
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The purpose of Step 4 is to cleanse us, not to make us feel worse than we already do. We must stop considering ourselves 'victims' and we must be honest about the part we've played in our own 'misfortune'. Many people say they've been born under an 'unlucky star', which is sheer nonsense, since we create our OWN reality. I am responsible for my behavior, and I accept the part I've played in creating that reality. 

Sure, I've been ripped off, but what part did I play in GETTING ripped off? My phone was stolen from my car a few weeks ago, but guess what? I inadvertently left it in the unlocked car MYSELF.  Had I been paying attention, I would have popped it into my purse or at least locked the car on my way out.

When I begin to see things for what they truly ARE is when I begin to heal, and when my recovery takes off by leaps & bounds.  When I recognize that I am NOT a victim is when I am able to take action to change my life and improve it.

For today, I will be brutally honest with myself.