The Language of Letting Go: June 27th

Achieving Harmony

When a pianist learns a new piece of music, he or she does not sit down and instantly play it perfectly. A pianist often needs to practice each hand's work separately to learn the feel, to learn the sound. One hand picks out a part until there is a rhythm and ease in playing what is difficult. Then, the musician practices with the other hand, picking through the notes, one by one, until that hand learns its tasks. When each hand has learned its part - the sound, the feel, the rhythm, and the tones - then both hands can play together.

During the time of practice, the music may not sound like much. It may sound disconnected, not particularly beautiful. But when both hands are ready to play together, music is created - a whole piece comes together in harmony and beauty.

When we begin recovery, it may feel like we spend months, even years, practicing individual, seemingly disconnected behaviors in the separate parts of our life.

We take our new skills into our work, our career, and begin to apply them slowly, making our work relationships healthier for us. We take our skills into our relationships, sometimes one relationship at a time. We struggle through our new behaviors in our love relationships.

One part at a time, we practice our new music note by note.

We work on our relationship with our Higher Power - our spirituality. We work at loving ourselves. We work at believing we deserve the best. We work on our finances. On our recreation. Sometimes on our appearance. Sometimes on our home.

We work on feelings. On beliefs. On behaviors. Letting go of the old, acquiring the new. We work and work and work. We practice. We struggle through. We go from one extreme to the other, and sometimes back through the course again. We make a little progress, go backward, and then go forward again.

It may all seem disconnected. It may not sound like a harmonious, beautiful piece of music - just isolated notes. Then one day, something happens. We become ready to play with both hands, to put the music together.

What we have been working toward, note by note, becomes a song. That song is a whole life, a complete life, and a life in harmony.

The music will come together in our life if we keep practicing the parts.

Today, I will practice my recovery behaviors through the individual parts of my life. I trust that, one day, things will come together in a full, complete song. 

From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie ©1990, Hazelden Foundation.

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Boy howdy does this reading hit home or what? We are works in progress, those of us who have chosen Recovery, despite feeling like 'failures' half of the time because we're not perfect.  Recovery comes along in drips & drabs..........it's never immediately cohesive or according to OUR schedule! We sometimes take one step forward & two steps back.

Recovery is not always a beautiful or harmonious thing, either. It's filled with raw emotion and plenty of ugliness, as we rehash old hurts and make amends to those who we owe an apology to.  The only way OUT is THROUGH, and that road can often be quite rocky & treacherous!

When we agree to stop running the world and allow God *or our Higher Power* to run the show, THEN we begin to glimpse the beauty of freedom.  We agree to let go of what's haunting us from the past, and what may or may not happen in the future.........and we commit to living in the present.  For addicts, this can feel like an impossible endeavor.  It's not impossible, though, it just takes TIME.  And we are a terribly impatient lot!!!! I read somewhere that the only way to learn patience is to PRACTICE being patient. How true, too. We tend to want what we want right this minute, but a big part of Recovery is learning to wait it out.  The bad feelings, and the cravings, DO pass, eventually, and we empower ourselves when we sit it out instead of impulsively acting upon our every whim.

For today, I accept myself AS IS.  I will not put unreasonable expectations on my Recovery, and I will accept what comes along.  It's all in God's hands anyway.  Man plans & God laughs. Ha!