Recovery Meditations: June 29th

RESENTMENT

When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound
to that person or condition by an emotional link that is
stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to
dissolve that link and get free.
Catherine Ponder

I once had a situation in which someone I was acquainted with said unkind things about my weight and verbally attacked my spouse in front of my daughter. I worried and revisited the situation over and over for many years until the anger turned to resentment and became a major, entrenched grudge. Because so many of my eating issues stem from emotional ones, this would drive me to eat in an effort to dull, numb and forget my anger. That didn't work ~ the eating didn't stop that anger from turning into resentment.

When I would complain about this situation to a friend, she told me that I had to stop allowing that person to "rent space in my mind." I came to realize that I had allowed -- and even nurtured -- a negative energetic link to that person and situation. I couldn't let go of resentment until I was willing to take the needed steps in program and to forgive. Forgiving doesn't mean I didn't learn anything from the situation, and I haven't forgotten the unkind words. But I learned that I needed to be more cautious in my dealings with this type of individual. I learned I can't surround myself with people who are overly-negative and say poisonous things without accepting any accountability for their actions. I have learned that I can be accountable for mine, and that I no longer have to allow myself to be bound by an emotional link to the situation.

One day at a time...
I will ask my Higher Power to help me to learn to forgive and forget. With the help of my Higher Power, I will let go of unnecessary baggage that causes resentment.

~ Deb B.

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Unfortunately, I have to deal with people who are overly-negative and say poisonous things...........what I don't have to do is accept accountability for THEIR actions! I set boundaries with toxic tessies, and I minimize my exposure to them. I set the rules about the visits, when they will be, how long they will last, and what's on the menu to eat.  Otherwise, I open up a Pandora's Box and compromise MYSELF and my abstinence by trusting THEM to feed ME properly. Not. Gonna. Happen.  So I take responsibility for it instead.

I wish I could say that I've figured out a way to 'forgive & forget' all the nonsense............but I haven't. I try not to dwell on it, and I've gotten pretty good at not eating over it..............but the resentment I feel is a very real thing. I love but I don't necessarily like.................and I acknowledge that and accept it. Sigh.

One day at a time, I will do the best I can to let go of my resentment & anger towards the toxic people in my life. I will give it to God and let Him handle it!