Recovery Meditations: July 5th

OVERCOMING RELAPSE

"Come, whoever you are! Wanderer, worshipper,
Lover of Leaving. Come, this is not a caravan of despair.
It doesn't matter if you've broken your vow a thousand times.
Still, and yet again, come, come."
Rumi


Perhaps the best thing my recovery plan has given me is finding the gift of inspiration almost anywhere. The above quote is such an example. Mevlana Jelalu'ddin Rumi was a Persian poet and theologian who lived from 1207 to 1273. Rumi also seemed to understand recovery quite well, judging from this quote.

I have fallen so many times on my recovery path. Once down, the disease really starts talking to me. "You're already down; you may as well stay down," it will say. Or, "You screwed up your food plan, so you might as well eat this, too." On and on, it never fails.

That's why this quote from Rumi means so much to me. My Higher Power sent it as an invitation to begin again, however many times I need. Even if I slip over and over and over, I can always begin again. My Higher Power and this program of recovery are very forgiving, and I can pick up and move on. I needn't fear failure, because I only fail if I don't get up and forge ahead.

One Day at a Time . . .
I will remember that I may fall, but I can get up again. I can begin anew, and know that I will overcome relapse when I make a fresh start.

~ Jeff

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Who amongst us does not understand relapse?  I have been on 200 diets over the years & relapsed every single time. Normally, I'd continue eating, saying "You've already blown it & now you are a failure", and I'd use it as an excuse to stop living a healthy lifestyle.

 

The "All-or-nothing mentality"is what killed my best efforts, over & over again.

 

These days, when I fall down, I pick myself back UP and commit to my food plan again right away.

 

If I get a flat tire, I fix it; I don't slash the other three.  

 

I've ditched the idea that I have to be 'perfect' in life, too. Where did I ever get that idea? I follow my food plan/life plan to the best of my ability, using the tools I've collected over the years, and I leave the rest to God.  When I feel tempted and begin to struggle, I have two choices: succumb to the craving or pray to be relieved of it.

 

I repeat the 5th Step prayer quite often:

God, I offer myself to Thee

To build with me, 

And to do with me as Thou wilt.

Relieve me of the bondage of self

That I may better do Thy will.

Take away my difficulties that victory over them may bear witness

To those I would help of Thy power,

Thy love

And Thy way of life.

May I do Thy will always.

Cravings come along when I am exercising MY will and not God's.  When I am so self-centered that I forget everything and choose to dwell in self-pity and ego.

For today, I will stick to my food plan, as written, and I will not deviate from it. Today I will not relapse, with God's help. 

Today, I will be all that I am meant to be, without the burden of addiction weighing me down, physically, mentally & spiritually.