Food for Thought: July 10th

A Progressive Illness

It is the experience of recovering compulsive overeaters that the illness is progressive. The disease does not get better; it gets worse. Even while we abstain, the illness progresses. If we were to break our abstinence, we would find that we had even less control over our eating than before.

Continued abstinence is our only means of health and sanity. We well remember the misery and despair that we felt when we were overeating, and we do not want to feel that way again. Abstaining from one compulsive bite is a small price to pay for health and sanity.

When we find ourselves thinking thoughts, which in the past have preceded loss of control, we need to realize the great danger that lies in a relapse. The OA program has saved us from the destruction of compulsive overeating, but our disease is still alive. Our program needs to be foremost in our minds every day if we are to continue recovering.

Do not let me forget my illness.

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I can vouch for the fact that compulsive overeating is a progressive illness. Every time I take that first compulsive bite, I wind up eating MORE than I did the last time I broke abstinence. There is no such thing as 'enough' and frankly, it's frightening. 

What got me sober was the knowledge that no matter HOW much I drank, it was never enough........so why get started? That's the question I'd ask myself every time I wanted to take a drink, in the early days.

I find myself asking the same question now, with regard to food: Why get started overeating when you KNOW there is no such thing as enough? What. Is. The. Point?

This knowledge is what prevents me from taking that first 'extra' bite; knowing a binge will ensue, and it will be a whole lot worse than any I've had previously.  My disease is progressive, and I know that for an absolute fact.

Abstinence = sanity.  I am capable of redirecting the thoughts that lead to relapse..........they are only THOUGHTS which DO NOT have to turn into actions.  When I find myself thinking about food, I utter the following prayer:

Dear God, please feed my hunger & restore my right mind.

"God can."  God CAN do for me what I cannot do for myself. 

For today, I will keep abstinence on the very TOP of my priority list.  For today, I will avoid tempting situations and remind myself that I WILL lose control if I take that first compulsive bite.

For today, I choose NOT to.