Recovery Meditations: July 15th

PERFECTIONISM

"The wise man, the true friend the finished character
we seek everywhere and only find in fragments."
Ralph Waldo Emerson

Like a spider, perfectionism builds its web through every fiber of my life. My perfectionism leads me to a host of other character defects. When I expect people to be perfect, I can be plagued with self-absorption. When I think of myself as "better than them," I practice being judgmental towards others ~ especially when I see behaviors that I'd never do. It also leads to my defects of self-criticism and self-loathing. I begin to hate myself for all the things that I can't do perfectly. I'm afraid to try things for fear of not doing them perfectly and looking like a failure.

Perfectionism leads me to procrastination and sometimes paralysis. This obsession for my wanting something to be just right -- or put in just the right place -- causes all sorts of feelings that can overwhelm me. Mostly it's a fear of what another might think of me if I owned this thing or put it in that illogical place. I learned as a child that being perfect meant that I was validated as a human; therefore my perfectionism is hard for me to be willing to let God remove.

One day at a time...
I will become willing to let God remove my defect of perfectionism. I will forgive myself and others for not being perfect. I will focus on a person's best moment instead of zeroing in on a person's defects.

~ Pam

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perfectionism  (pəˈfɛkʃəˌnɪzəm): The demand for the highest standard of excellence

When I demand the highest standard of excellence, I set myself up for disappointment every single time!!!

Demanding perfection prevents me from letting go & accepting life on life's terms.

Demanding perfection allows me to judge others and cluck my tongue at their shortcomings, preventing me from looking within, at my own shortcomings.

Demanding perfection prevents me from getting anything accomplished, out of fear that I won't do it perfectly.  Why bother starting something? Demanding the highest standard of excellence paralyzes me, is what it really does.  It gives me an excuse to feel overwhelmed, incapable, and "less than". Perfectionism makes me unduly concerned about how others perceive me.  It makes me incapable of forgiveness and overly critical of everything.  Nothing is EVER right, tsk-tsk. For today, I pray to be relieved of my tendency toward perfectionism.  For today, I will live my life to the best of my ability and recognize it as GOOD ENOUGH.