Recovery Meditations: July 24th
IDENTITY
“Resolve to be
thyself:
And know that he who
finds himself loses his misery.”
Matthew Arnold
Life before recovery
was a theatrical production in which I played all parts to all audiences. I
gave a performance which aimed to satisfy everyone's requirements but my own. I
proffered whatever I felt others wanted, giving no thought to my own needs. Some
may say that's a worthy attitude, but it was influenced by a desire to be
accepted -- not for who I am -- but for whom I thought everyone wanted me to
be. I used my performance to control situations and to avoid any nasty
surprises. I furnished more than I could afford, often lavishing what wasn't
mine to give. Frequently I didn't feel that I had gained the acceptance I so
fervently sought, and this yielded feelings of incompetence.
To be everything to
all people took time and sapped considerable quantities of energy physically,
spiritually and emotionally. Often I found I couldn't keep up with this
self-inflicted regimen of people-pleasing. I began to resent the performance
and gained no satisfaction from the results.
Through my recovery I
realized that I had never been happy with the results of my role-playing. It
had been a compulsion to seek the approval from others because I couldn't grant
myself the authorization to be me. The only person I can be is me. The only
person I have a right to be is me.
One day at a time ...
I give myself
permission to be who I truly am: ME!
~ Sue G.
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Each Day a New Beginning
... The idea has gained currency that
women have often been handicapped not only by a fear of failure--not
unknown to men either- -but by a fear of success as well.
—Sonya Rudikoff
It was our practice, before coming to this program, to eat, drink, and smoke our fears away. What we came to realize, profoundly, was that the fears couldn't be escaped even while high. This program is helping us to understand that fears are human, normal and survivable when we let God and our friends in the program lend a helping hand.
Drugs and alcohol distorted our perceptions. Our fears, whether large or small, were distorted. And we still distort those fears, on occasion, because we move away from the spiritual reality of our lives. Remember, we are confronted with no situation too big to handle, no experience for which we are unprepared, if we but turn to that greater power that the program offers us.
We cannot fail in whatever we try today. The outcome of any task attempted is just as it should be. And however we succeed today, we will be shown the steps, at the right time, to make use of that success.
I shall not fear failure or success. I am not alone in experiencing either; both are stepping-stones on my life's journey.
—Sonya Rudikoff
It was our practice, before coming to this program, to eat, drink, and smoke our fears away. What we came to realize, profoundly, was that the fears couldn't be escaped even while high. This program is helping us to understand that fears are human, normal and survivable when we let God and our friends in the program lend a helping hand.
Drugs and alcohol distorted our perceptions. Our fears, whether large or small, were distorted. And we still distort those fears, on occasion, because we move away from the spiritual reality of our lives. Remember, we are confronted with no situation too big to handle, no experience for which we are unprepared, if we but turn to that greater power that the program offers us.
We cannot fail in whatever we try today. The outcome of any task attempted is just as it should be. And however we succeed today, we will be shown the steps, at the right time, to make use of that success.
I shall not fear failure or success. I am not alone in experiencing either; both are stepping-stones on my life's journey.
From Each Day a New Beginning: Daily Meditations for Women by Karen Casey
© 1982, 1991 by Hazelden Foundation.
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Food for Thought
Living Is a Privilege
When we were overeating, how often did we drag ourselves out of bed wondering how we were going to make it through the day? Many of us felt that life was treating us unfairly, and we blamed those around us for our misery. We may have thought we believed in a Power greater than ourselves, but we were unable to apply the belief so that it made a difference in the way we were living. Trying to manage our own life pushed us further and further into despair.
The OA program shows us how to commit our will and our life to the management of God. We stop trying to "go it alone," and we listen for His direction. By the grace of our Higher Power, we abstain from compulsive overeating one day at a time, and we walk a new way of humility and obedience.
Little by little, we recover in mind and body, and we no longer feel crushed by an uncaring fate. We accept each day as a gift from the hand of God, and we live it to the best of our ability.
Thank You for the privilege of living and abstaining today.
When we were overeating, how often did we drag ourselves out of bed wondering how we were going to make it through the day? Many of us felt that life was treating us unfairly, and we blamed those around us for our misery. We may have thought we believed in a Power greater than ourselves, but we were unable to apply the belief so that it made a difference in the way we were living. Trying to manage our own life pushed us further and further into despair.
The OA program shows us how to commit our will and our life to the management of God. We stop trying to "go it alone," and we listen for His direction. By the grace of our Higher Power, we abstain from compulsive overeating one day at a time, and we walk a new way of humility and obedience.
Little by little, we recover in mind and body, and we no longer feel crushed by an uncaring fate. We accept each day as a gift from the hand of God, and we live it to the best of our ability.
Thank You for the privilege of living and abstaining today.
From Food for Thought: Daily Meditations for Overeaters by Elisabeth L.
©1980, 1992 by Hazelden Foundation
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The Language of Letting Go
Denial
Denial is a powerful tool. Never underestimate its ability to cloud your vision.
Be aware that, for many reasons, we have become experts at using this tool to make reality more tolerable. We have learned well how to stop the pain caused by reality - not by changing our circumstances, but by pretending our circumstances are something other than what they are.
Do not be too hard on yourself. While one part of you was busy creating a fantasy reality, the other part went to work on accepting the truth.
Now, it is time to find courage. Face the truth. Let it sink gently in.
When we can do that, we will be moved forward.
God, give me the courage and strength to see clearly.
Denial is a powerful tool. Never underestimate its ability to cloud your vision.
Be aware that, for many reasons, we have become experts at using this tool to make reality more tolerable. We have learned well how to stop the pain caused by reality - not by changing our circumstances, but by pretending our circumstances are something other than what they are.
Do not be too hard on yourself. While one part of you was busy creating a fantasy reality, the other part went to work on accepting the truth.
Now, it is time to find courage. Face the truth. Let it sink gently in.
When we can do that, we will be moved forward.
God, give me the courage and strength to see clearly.
From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie
©1990, Hazelden Foundation.
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Today's thought from Hazelden Betty Ford Foundation is:
No day is like any other day. Isn't that interesting? And you never know what the next day will bring, and that's exciting.
--Alpha English
Alpha has not lost her zest for life. Although nearly ninety, she nurtures a young mind and a wise heart. Her attitude influences those around her too, making them fortunate people indeed. We have the capacity to bring only joy to those around us, too, What's the key? Perspective.
The eyes with which we view our circumstances take charge of the day. What may look scary to someone else, such as giving a talk at the book club or playing bridge with a new partner, may actually excite us. Or the reverse may be true. The important lesson is, if others can look ahead with glad anticipation, so can we. They have not been endowed with any qualities that we can't acquire.
Most of us were too busy in our youth to pursue all the activities that interested us. Now is our time. We'll discover we have enough time to journey in any direction that calls to us if we have cultivated an eager attitude.
I am embarking on a special mission today. I pray to look upon the experiences with a glad heart.
No day is like any other day. Isn't that interesting? And you never know what the next day will bring, and that's exciting.
--Alpha English
Alpha has not lost her zest for life. Although nearly ninety, she nurtures a young mind and a wise heart. Her attitude influences those around her too, making them fortunate people indeed. We have the capacity to bring only joy to those around us, too, What's the key? Perspective.
The eyes with which we view our circumstances take charge of the day. What may look scary to someone else, such as giving a talk at the book club or playing bridge with a new partner, may actually excite us. Or the reverse may be true. The important lesson is, if others can look ahead with glad anticipation, so can we. They have not been endowed with any qualities that we can't acquire.
Most of us were too busy in our youth to pursue all the activities that interested us. Now is our time. We'll discover we have enough time to journey in any direction that calls to us if we have cultivated an eager attitude.
I am embarking on a special mission today. I pray to look upon the experiences with a glad heart.
You are reading from the book:
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