Recovery
Meditations: July 22nd
FALSE BELIEFS
"There is only
one cause of unhappiness;
the false beliefs you
have in your head,
beliefs so widespread,
so commonly held,
that it never occurs
to you to question them."
Anthony de Mello
As a child of poverty, neglect, and a family that moved
frequently, I was always an "outsider." I was looked on as
"unacceptable." As an adult I moved away, married, and lived in the
same community all the rest of my years. I've had the same friends and lived a
very respected life. Yet internally I was still "unacceptable" ~
always feeling "less than" others. I never even told my husband or
children about those aspects of my childhood. There were parts of me I never
shared with anyone. I did not question the idea that I was still an
"unacceptable" person, though there was lots of evidence to discount
that idea.
Since joining The Recovery Group program and sharing that
pain with my sponsor and others, that pain-filled inner child has been freed
and has integrated with the person that I am today. This freeing process has
enabled me to finally see and feel the love, the acceptance, and the respect
that has always been there for me.
One day at a time...
I will reach out to
others at meetings and within our Recovery Group ~ especially those who have
had a childhood similar to mine. It has been a tremendous gift to be able to go
back, take that neglected little girl by the hand, and bring her into my world to
live with me.
~ Karen A.
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Each Day a New Beginning
How I relate to my inner
self-influences my relationships with all others. My satisfaction with
myself and my satisfaction with other people are directly proportional.
—Sue Atchley Ebaugh
Hateful attitudes toward others, resistance to someone's suggestions, jealousy over another woman's attractiveness or particular abilities are equally strong indications of the health of our spiritual programs. Our security rests with God. When that relationship is nurtured, the rewards will be many and satisfactions great.
Our inner selves may need pampering and praise. They have suffered the abuse of neglect for many years, no doubt. In many instances we have chided ourselves, perhaps shamed ourselves. Learning to love our inner selves, recognizing the value inherent in our very existence, takes effort, commitment, and patience - assets we may only just now be developing in this recovery program.
Our inner selves are the home of our Spirit wherein our attachment to all strength, all courage, all self-esteem, and all serenity resides. Our Spirit is one with our higher power. We must acknowledge the presence and utilize the comforts offered.
My relationships with others are as healthy and fulfilling as my communication with God.
—Sue Atchley Ebaugh
Hateful attitudes toward others, resistance to someone's suggestions, jealousy over another woman's attractiveness or particular abilities are equally strong indications of the health of our spiritual programs. Our security rests with God. When that relationship is nurtured, the rewards will be many and satisfactions great.
Our inner selves may need pampering and praise. They have suffered the abuse of neglect for many years, no doubt. In many instances we have chided ourselves, perhaps shamed ourselves. Learning to love our inner selves, recognizing the value inherent in our very existence, takes effort, commitment, and patience - assets we may only just now be developing in this recovery program.
Our inner selves are the home of our Spirit wherein our attachment to all strength, all courage, all self-esteem, and all serenity resides. Our Spirit is one with our higher power. We must acknowledge the presence and utilize the comforts offered.
My relationships with others are as healthy and fulfilling as my communication with God.
From Each Day a New Beginning: Daily Meditations for Women by Karen Casey
© 1982, 1991 by Hazelden Foundation.
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Food for Thought
The Power of Abstaining
Abstaining from compulsive overeating fills us with new strength. When we become honest and determined in this area of our life, our resolution and clarity flow into other areas, too. The new order and discipline are reflected in all that we do.
We establish abstinence as the most important thing in our life. As mind and body are released from the dullness and apathy caused by too much food, we are more efficient and we function more effectively. Other priorities and values sort themselves out. Instead of being torn by conflicting desires, we are able to decide which projects and activities are of most value. Instead of being paralyzed by fear and depression, we have the motivation and energy to do what needs to be done.
Accepting life-long abstinence as the will of our Higher Power enables us to push food out of the center of our life.
Thank You for the power of abstaining.
Abstaining from compulsive overeating fills us with new strength. When we become honest and determined in this area of our life, our resolution and clarity flow into other areas, too. The new order and discipline are reflected in all that we do.
We establish abstinence as the most important thing in our life. As mind and body are released from the dullness and apathy caused by too much food, we are more efficient and we function more effectively. Other priorities and values sort themselves out. Instead of being torn by conflicting desires, we are able to decide which projects and activities are of most value. Instead of being paralyzed by fear and depression, we have the motivation and energy to do what needs to be done.
Accepting life-long abstinence as the will of our Higher Power enables us to push food out of the center of our life.
Thank You for the power of abstaining.
From Food for Thought: Daily Meditations for Overeaters by Elisabeth L.
©1980, 1992 by Hazelden Foundation.
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The Language of Letting Go
Learning to Trust Again
Many of us have trust issues.
Some of us tried long and hard to trust untrustworthy people. Over and again, we believed lies and promises never to be kept. Some of us tried to trust people for the impossible; for instance, trusting a practicing alcoholic not to drink again.
Some of us trusted our Higher Power inappropriately. We trusted God to make other people do what we wanted, then felt betrayed when that didn't work out.
Some of us were taught that life couldn't be trusted, that we had to control and manipulate our way through.
Most of us were taught, inappropriately, that we couldn't trust ourselves.
In recovery, we're healing from our trust issues. We're learning to trust again. The first lesson in trust is this: We can learn to trust ourselves. We can be trusted. If others have taught us we cannot trust ourselves, they were lying. Addictions and dysfunctional systems make people lie.
We can learn to appropriately trust our Higher Power - not to make people do what we wanted them to, but to help us take care of ourselves, and to bring about the best possible circumstances, at the best possible times, in our life.
We can trust the process - of life and recovery. We do not have to control, obsess, or become hyper vigilant. We may not always understand where we are going, or what's being worked out in us, but we can trust that something good is happening.
When we learn to do this, we are ready to learn to trust other people. When we trust our Higher Power and when we trust ourselves, we will know who to trust and what to trust that person for.
Perhaps we always did. We just didn't listen closely enough to ourselves or trust what we heard.
Today, I will affirm that I can learn to trust appropriately. I can trust my Higher Power, my recovery, and myself. I can learn to appropriately trust others too.
Many of us have trust issues.
Some of us tried long and hard to trust untrustworthy people. Over and again, we believed lies and promises never to be kept. Some of us tried to trust people for the impossible; for instance, trusting a practicing alcoholic not to drink again.
Some of us trusted our Higher Power inappropriately. We trusted God to make other people do what we wanted, then felt betrayed when that didn't work out.
Some of us were taught that life couldn't be trusted, that we had to control and manipulate our way through.
Most of us were taught, inappropriately, that we couldn't trust ourselves.
In recovery, we're healing from our trust issues. We're learning to trust again. The first lesson in trust is this: We can learn to trust ourselves. We can be trusted. If others have taught us we cannot trust ourselves, they were lying. Addictions and dysfunctional systems make people lie.
We can learn to appropriately trust our Higher Power - not to make people do what we wanted them to, but to help us take care of ourselves, and to bring about the best possible circumstances, at the best possible times, in our life.
We can trust the process - of life and recovery. We do not have to control, obsess, or become hyper vigilant. We may not always understand where we are going, or what's being worked out in us, but we can trust that something good is happening.
When we learn to do this, we are ready to learn to trust other people. When we trust our Higher Power and when we trust ourselves, we will know who to trust and what to trust that person for.
Perhaps we always did. We just didn't listen closely enough to ourselves or trust what we heard.
Today, I will affirm that I can learn to trust appropriately. I can trust my Higher Power, my recovery, and myself. I can learn to appropriately trust others too.
From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie
©1990, Hazelden Foundation
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Today's thought from Hazelden Betty Ford Foundation is:
...alone in the company of our partner.
To be alone in the wilderness is less painful than to feel alone in the company of our partner. When we shut down in silence because we feel wounded by our partner, we slam the door on healing. We may justify emotionally abandoning our partner by telling ourselves that we do not want to be hurt again, and we may be convinced that our partner is never going to change anyway. We each have our own style of "going away" and our own way of maintaining our loneliness.
When we feel the pain of separation from each other, we need to reach back and reopen communication. We can do that by telling our partner how we disappeared and asking her or him to join us in healing the wounds. When we talk about our feelings and we are understood, we make genuine contact and we are no longer alone!
As a way to enhance your connection, tell your partner about a way that you have disappeared.
...alone in the company of our partner.
To be alone in the wilderness is less painful than to feel alone in the company of our partner. When we shut down in silence because we feel wounded by our partner, we slam the door on healing. We may justify emotionally abandoning our partner by telling ourselves that we do not want to be hurt again, and we may be convinced that our partner is never going to change anyway. We each have our own style of "going away" and our own way of maintaining our loneliness.
When we feel the pain of separation from each other, we need to reach back and reopen communication. We can do that by telling our partner how we disappeared and asking her or him to join us in healing the wounds. When we talk about our feelings and we are understood, we make genuine contact and we are no longer alone!
As a way to enhance your connection, tell your partner about a way that you have disappeared.
You are reading from the book:
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