Recovery Meditations: March 1st
ANONYMITY
Don't walk behind me,
I may not lead.
Don't walk in front of
me, I may not follow.
Just walk beside me
and be my friend.
Albert Camus
When I first joined OA, the tool and tradition of Anonymity
seemed a little strange to me. What’s wrong with people knowing what members do
for work? I’m not ashamed of my career, why should I not talk about it? What’s
with this cult-like behaviour around initials for names? And what do they mean
by Anonymity being the spiritual foundation of recovery?
And then, bit by bit, it dawned on me. When we don’t talk
about our jobs, when we don’t care about our last names, three very important
things happen. First, we don’t get distracted. Second, it makes us all equal.
Third, it starts us on the road of leaving judgment behind. An Elizabeth is
just an Elizabeth, whether she’s a queen, a unemployed single mother or an
actress. The equality that comes with that means that I am not more or less,
not better or worse than you. This equality strengthens our unity. We are all
in the same boat. And with this equality we can row in unity towards recovery.
One day at a time ...
I will remember that
my fellow OA members are my equals, that I can let go of judgment, and that the
freedom that comes with this helps me concentrate on recovery.
~ Isabella
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Each Day a New Beginning
What a strange pattern the shuttle of life can weave.
—Frances Marion
Each experience we have plays its part in the total picture of our lives. The steps we have taken, the path we travel today, and our direction tomorrow are not by chance. There is a pattern. We each have a destiny. We may have veered off the path in the past, and we may veer off it again. But we'll be guided back, and our paths intersect. None of us is traveling alone. We have each other and the creative force that is at the helm.
When we look around us and reflect on how our lives are influenced by the persons close to us, we become aware that our presence affects their lives as well. Most of us could never have predicted the events that have influenced us. Nor can we anticipate what the future may hold. We can be certain, however, that we are safe; a power greater than ourselves is orchestrating our affairs.
There were times we feared we'd never survive an experience. Perhaps we still struggle with fears about new experiences. But every experience adds a necessary thread to the pattern our life is weaving. We have the gift of reflection. We can understand, today, the importance of particular events of the past. Next month, next year, we'll understand today.
I shall enjoy the richness of today. My life is weaving an intricate, necessary pattern that is uniquely mine.
—Frances Marion
Each experience we have plays its part in the total picture of our lives. The steps we have taken, the path we travel today, and our direction tomorrow are not by chance. There is a pattern. We each have a destiny. We may have veered off the path in the past, and we may veer off it again. But we'll be guided back, and our paths intersect. None of us is traveling alone. We have each other and the creative force that is at the helm.
When we look around us and reflect on how our lives are influenced by the persons close to us, we become aware that our presence affects their lives as well. Most of us could never have predicted the events that have influenced us. Nor can we anticipate what the future may hold. We can be certain, however, that we are safe; a power greater than ourselves is orchestrating our affairs.
There were times we feared we'd never survive an experience. Perhaps we still struggle with fears about new experiences. But every experience adds a necessary thread to the pattern our life is weaving. We have the gift of reflection. We can understand, today, the importance of particular events of the past. Next month, next year, we'll understand today.
I shall enjoy the richness of today. My life is weaving an intricate, necessary pattern that is uniquely mine.
From Each Day a New Beginning: Daily Meditations for Women by Karen Casey © 1982, 1991 by Hazelden Foundation.
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Food for Thought
Other People's Problems
Sometimes we wear ourselves out trying to solve another person's problem. Is this not perhaps a form of egotism? We feel that somehow we should have all the answers and be able to find a solution to every problem, especially when someone close to us is in trouble.
We may be sympathetic and supportive and helpful, but we cannot play the role of God in another person's life. Even our children must learn from their mistakes, just as we continue to learn from our own. If I trust my Higher Power to lead and direct me, then surely He will also direct my family and friends.
The best thing I can do for anyone else is to maintain my own sanity and sobriety. If I eat over a problem--whether it is mine or yours or ours--then I am less able to deal with it.
There are times when no solution seems forthcoming, when an unfortunate or tragic circumstance must be accepted and lived with in the best manner possible. We may not be able to change the circumstance, but we can be sure that God will give us the strength to deal with it.
Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change.
Sometimes we wear ourselves out trying to solve another person's problem. Is this not perhaps a form of egotism? We feel that somehow we should have all the answers and be able to find a solution to every problem, especially when someone close to us is in trouble.
We may be sympathetic and supportive and helpful, but we cannot play the role of God in another person's life. Even our children must learn from their mistakes, just as we continue to learn from our own. If I trust my Higher Power to lead and direct me, then surely He will also direct my family and friends.
The best thing I can do for anyone else is to maintain my own sanity and sobriety. If I eat over a problem--whether it is mine or yours or ours--then I am less able to deal with it.
There are times when no solution seems forthcoming, when an unfortunate or tragic circumstance must be accepted and lived with in the best manner possible. We may not be able to change the circumstance, but we can be sure that God will give us the strength to deal with it.
Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change.
From Food for Thought: Daily Meditations for Overeaters by Elisabeth L. ©1980, 1992 by Hazelden Foundation.
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The Language of Letting Go
Letting Go of Anger
In recovery, we often discuss anger objectively. Yes, we reason, it's an emotion we're all prone to experience. Yes, the goal in recovery is to be free of resentment and anger. Yes, it's okay to feel angry, we agree. Well, maybe. . . .
Anger is a powerful and sometimes frightening emotion. It's also a beneficial one if it's not allowed to harden into resentment or used as a battering ram to punish or abuse people.
Anger is a warning signal. It points to problems. Sometimes, it signals problems we need to solve. Sometimes, it points to boundaries we need to set. Sometimes, it's the final burst of energy before letting go, or acceptance, settles in.
And, sometimes, anger just is. It doesn't have to be justified. It usually can't be confined to a tidy package. And it need not cause us to stifle our energy or ourselves.
We don't have to feel guilty whenever we experience anger. We don't have to feel guilty.
Breathe deeply. We can shamelessly feel all our feelings, including anger, and still take responsibility for our behaviors.
I will feel and release any angry feelings I have today. I can do that appropriately and safely.
In recovery, we often discuss anger objectively. Yes, we reason, it's an emotion we're all prone to experience. Yes, the goal in recovery is to be free of resentment and anger. Yes, it's okay to feel angry, we agree. Well, maybe. . . .
Anger is a powerful and sometimes frightening emotion. It's also a beneficial one if it's not allowed to harden into resentment or used as a battering ram to punish or abuse people.
Anger is a warning signal. It points to problems. Sometimes, it signals problems we need to solve. Sometimes, it points to boundaries we need to set. Sometimes, it's the final burst of energy before letting go, or acceptance, settles in.
And, sometimes, anger just is. It doesn't have to be justified. It usually can't be confined to a tidy package. And it need not cause us to stifle our energy or ourselves.
We don't have to feel guilty whenever we experience anger. We don't have to feel guilty.
Breathe deeply. We can shamelessly feel all our feelings, including anger, and still take responsibility for our behaviors.
I will feel and release any angry feelings I have today. I can do that appropriately and safely.
From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie ©1990, Hazelden Foundation.
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Today's thought from the Hazelden Betty Ford Foundation is:
When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on.
--Franklin Delano Roosevelt
--Franklin Delano Roosevelt
Newcomer
Initially, I was excited about recovery. I felt better for a while. I hate to say it, but now that I'm not at the beginning any more, everything seems worse. I feel more cynical than ever.
Initially, I was excited about recovery. I felt better for a while. I hate to say it, but now that I'm not at the beginning any more, everything seems worse. I feel more cynical than ever.
Sponsor
What you're experiencing is part of the process of recovery. Many of us go through a "honeymoon" phase in early recovery. Our craving may feel miraculously lifted. Change feels easy, and hope replaces despair.
What you're experiencing is part of the process of recovery. Many of us go through a "honeymoon" phase in early recovery. Our craving may feel miraculously lifted. Change feels easy, and hope replaces despair.
Then, life feels difficult again. We may perceive ourselves as having gotten worse, but that's not accurate. What's really happening is that, though our addictive craving has been treated, we still have our old problems, habits, and states of mind. We may be getting through the day, showing up for our work responsibilities, attending meetings, but not having much fun. We may wonder if what we've heard is really true -- that "our worst day in recovery is better than our best day of active addiction." We may wonder whether recovery really is the answer after all.
Our doubt makes clear to us that we have to do something. Staying where we are is too uncomfortable. We can attend a Step meeting and read program literature to begin to familiarize ourselves with our next Step. For spirits in need of healing, Step work leads to the next phase of recovery.
Today, I have the courage to move forward in my journey of recovery.
You are reading from the book:
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