Recovery Meditations: March 14, 2015
Cease Striving
"Cease Striving –
Let Go, Relax – And Know that I Am God”
. . . . Psalms 46:10
I can count on one hand the times in my life in which I’ve
been able to feel truly relaxed. Our disease is often driven by our efforts to
control our lives: we labor to control our emotions, our relationships, our
image, and our “masks” which we wear in a valiant effort to control how other
people see and respond to us.
This effort to control ourselves and our lives is a ruthless
taskmaster and a double-edged sword. It cuts like a knife through our very
souls and requires that we forsake who we are in a misguided – and fruitless –
attempt to be who we believe we “should be.” I have worked so hard at trying to
mold myself into an Acceptable Person that I have lost who I truly Am. All of
my ceaseless efforts to mold myself into who I thought I Should Be have cost me
my very sense of Self, and has been a painful eroding of my own Identity – it
is a tragic self-imposed suicide of my Soul.
Like many of us, in order to enter recovery I had to come to
the End of Myself and lose any sense of Control I had over my life. This was
terrifying for me – I believed that even without a false sense of control, my
life would implode and leave only ruined remnants in its place.
But I have not imploded. I have not been destroyed. With the
crumbling of my masks and my frantic efforts to control everything, I have
found a surprising sense of peace and safety – even in the midst of the chaos
in my life. I am convinced that had God not brought me to the end of my own
efforts, I would not be in a place in which I can hear His Voice. My ears would
have remained deaf to His promise to never forsake me. Had He not firmly – yet
gently – gotten my attention, my unsettled Mind would have continued to shout
warnings and commands into my withered soul. Hitting Bottom is the best thing
that could have happened to me, for I landed not in destruction, but in His
eternal loving arms.
One Day at a Time . .
.
I will choose to
cease my own striving and efforts to control my life. I will practice being
still and knowing that my Higher Power is with me at all times, in every
circumstance of my life
~ Lisa
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Each Day a New Beginning
The child is an almost universal
symbol for the soul's transformation. The child is whole, not yet
divided . . . when we would heal the mind . . . we ask this child to
speak to us.
—Susan Griffin
Was there ever a time when we did not feel divided from ourselves? Occasionally we get a glimpse of what such spiritual wholeness would be like, but most of the time we struggle with feelings of conflict, unevenness, a divided heart. Perhaps "the child" is a metaphor for a spiritual guide, like our own higher power, that can help us in our journey toward self-acceptance.
"I may not be perfect, but parts of me are excellent," writes author Ashleigh Brilliant. If we can be happy with this proud, funny boast then perhaps we can stop berating ourselves for our imperfections. If we dwell on our own contradictory impulses we give them too much importance, too much power.
Let me trust to my glimpses of harmony and wholeness and be grateful for the richness of my spirit.
—Susan Griffin
Was there ever a time when we did not feel divided from ourselves? Occasionally we get a glimpse of what such spiritual wholeness would be like, but most of the time we struggle with feelings of conflict, unevenness, a divided heart. Perhaps "the child" is a metaphor for a spiritual guide, like our own higher power, that can help us in our journey toward self-acceptance.
"I may not be perfect, but parts of me are excellent," writes author Ashleigh Brilliant. If we can be happy with this proud, funny boast then perhaps we can stop berating ourselves for our imperfections. If we dwell on our own contradictory impulses we give them too much importance, too much power.
Let me trust to my glimpses of harmony and wholeness and be grateful for the richness of my spirit.
From Each Day a New Beginning: Daily Meditations for Women by Karen Casey
© 1982, 1991 by Hazelden Foundation.
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Food for Thought
Power
Our group is infused with a Power that changes lives, the Power of love and fellowship. So many of us can attest to the daily miracles that God has performed and is performing as we live this program. The changes and miracles may happen slowly, and our spiritual growth may be gradual; nevertheless, the Power is real.
As we become aware of this Power, we see how weak and unnecessary were the false supports we had relied on in the past. We probably sought strength in material possessions, personal achievement, social status. These supports all failed us, and we ate to hide our weakness.
Now that we have experienced the Power of the OA fellowship, we no longer have to rely on false supports. We can grow in the program and in closer contact with the One who creates and sustains us.
May I rely more completely on You.
Our group is infused with a Power that changes lives, the Power of love and fellowship. So many of us can attest to the daily miracles that God has performed and is performing as we live this program. The changes and miracles may happen slowly, and our spiritual growth may be gradual; nevertheless, the Power is real.
As we become aware of this Power, we see how weak and unnecessary were the false supports we had relied on in the past. We probably sought strength in material possessions, personal achievement, social status. These supports all failed us, and we ate to hide our weakness.
Now that we have experienced the Power of the OA fellowship, we no longer have to rely on false supports. We can grow in the program and in closer contact with the One who creates and sustains us.
May I rely more completely on You.
From Food for Thought: Daily Meditations for Overeaters by Elisabeth L.
©1980, 1992 by Hazelden Foundation.
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The Language of Letting Go
Trusting Ourselves
Trust can be one of the most confusing concepts in recovery. Who do we trust? For what?
The most important trust issue we face is learning to trust ourselves. The most detrimental thing that's happened to us is that we came to believe we couldn't trust ourselves.
There will be some who tell us we cannot trust ourselves; we are off base and out of whack. There are those who would benefit by our mistrusting ourselves.
Fear and doubt are our enemies. Panic is our enemy. Confusion is our opposition.
Self-trust is a healing gift we can give ourselves. How do we acquire it? We learn it. What do we do about our mistakes, about those times we thought we could trust ourselves but were wrong? We accept them, and trust ourselves anyway.
We know what is best for us. We know what is right for us. If we are wrong, if we need to change our mind, we will be guided into that - but only by trusting where we are today.
We can look to others for support and reinforcement, but trust in ourselves is essential.
Do not trust fear. Do not trust panic. We can trust ourselves, stand in our own truth, and stand in our own light. We have it now. Already. We have all the light we need for today. And tomorrow's light shall be given to us then.
Trust ourselves, and we will know whom to trust. Trust ourselves, and we will know what to do. When we feel we absolutely cannot trust ourselves, trust that God will guide us into truth.
God, help me let go of fear, doubt, and confusion - the enemies of self-trust. Help me go forward in peace and confidence. Help me grow in trust for you, and myself one day at a time, one experience at a time.
Trust can be one of the most confusing concepts in recovery. Who do we trust? For what?
The most important trust issue we face is learning to trust ourselves. The most detrimental thing that's happened to us is that we came to believe we couldn't trust ourselves.
There will be some who tell us we cannot trust ourselves; we are off base and out of whack. There are those who would benefit by our mistrusting ourselves.
Fear and doubt are our enemies. Panic is our enemy. Confusion is our opposition.
Self-trust is a healing gift we can give ourselves. How do we acquire it? We learn it. What do we do about our mistakes, about those times we thought we could trust ourselves but were wrong? We accept them, and trust ourselves anyway.
We know what is best for us. We know what is right for us. If we are wrong, if we need to change our mind, we will be guided into that - but only by trusting where we are today.
We can look to others for support and reinforcement, but trust in ourselves is essential.
Do not trust fear. Do not trust panic. We can trust ourselves, stand in our own truth, and stand in our own light. We have it now. Already. We have all the light we need for today. And tomorrow's light shall be given to us then.
Trust ourselves, and we will know whom to trust. Trust ourselves, and we will know what to do. When we feel we absolutely cannot trust ourselves, trust that God will guide us into truth.
God, help me let go of fear, doubt, and confusion - the enemies of self-trust. Help me go forward in peace and confidence. Help me grow in trust for you, and myself one day at a time, one experience at a time.
From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie
©1990, Hazelden Foundation
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Today's thought from the Hazelden Betty Ford Foundation is:
You will forget your misery; you will remember it as waters that have passed away.
-- Job 11:16
Many of us have painful memories we carry with us like pictures in a wallet. We keep these memories alive through feelings generated by those moments. Why are we so attached to unpleasant memories?
It's difficult to let go of memories, no matter how unpleasant. Sometimes they're a reminder of the past, but more often we clutch them because we're afraid to feel pleasant feelings today. Because the program is working in our lives, we have fewer painful times now. That may not be comfortable, so we invent new pain or dredge up the sludge of the past. As ugly as it may be, it's still familiar.
We don't have to look back. We don't have to feel misery or pain because it's familiar. We don't have to drag out that wallet and look at the images of unhappy times again. We can leave those spaces in our wallets empty, ready to be filled with new moments to remember.
I can try to make some new moments to remember. I don't need to look back anymore.
You will forget your misery; you will remember it as waters that have passed away.
-- Job 11:16
Many of us have painful memories we carry with us like pictures in a wallet. We keep these memories alive through feelings generated by those moments. Why are we so attached to unpleasant memories?
It's difficult to let go of memories, no matter how unpleasant. Sometimes they're a reminder of the past, but more often we clutch them because we're afraid to feel pleasant feelings today. Because the program is working in our lives, we have fewer painful times now. That may not be comfortable, so we invent new pain or dredge up the sludge of the past. As ugly as it may be, it's still familiar.
We don't have to look back. We don't have to feel misery or pain because it's familiar. We don't have to drag out that wallet and look at the images of unhappy times again. We can leave those spaces in our wallets empty, ready to be filled with new moments to remember.
I can try to make some new moments to remember. I don't need to look back anymore.
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