HELPING OTHERS
If I can stop one heart from breaking,
I shall not live in vain
If I can ease one life the aching or cool one pain
or help one fainting Robin unto his nest again
I shall not live in vain
Emily Dickinson
Somewhere along the way I found myself to be a caretaker. Injustices, pain, discrimination, bullying; all these things affected me deeply. I carried it too far. It reached a point where I truly believe I began taking better care of others than I did myself. Was this ego? Codependency? Altruism? Or was this a guiltless way I found to deflect my own problems, pain, injustices and needs?
When I was doing my first 4th Step inventory, I learned something very important. As my sponsor read over one "bad thing" I had done after another she cautioned me to take a broader look at myself. Finally, she made me do my entire inventory over and for every 5th character defect or offense to someone, I was required to write something good about myself. She explained that an inventory is never meant to be focused on just the bad ... but the good also. After all, when a store takes inventory on its products, it counts bent cans of beans as well as the perfect cans of beans and crushed boxes of cereal as well as the perfect ones.
This helped me to see that my life's purpose was not just to help others but also to nurture me when my heart was breaking, to make my own life good and to have a nest for myself that was safe and serene. After working the Steps, I know that I'm not living my life in vain and I still want to help others as much as I possibly can, but not to the detriment of myself ... and certainly not to keep me from looking at my own life and my own problems realistically.
One day at a time...
May I help others who are less fortunate than I find their way. And let me also make my own nest as comfortable as it can be.
~ Mari
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Each Day a New Beginning
One must be leery of words because they turn into cages.
—Viola Spolin
We defeat ourselves with labels. We hem ourselves in; we shorten our vision; we cut off opportunities in the making. We influence how others think of us, too. Someone wise said that we teach others how to treat us. Are we teaching people to expect nothing great from us because we are always afraid? Do we shatter their vision of our potential by never thinking we can handle what may come?
We become the persons we have programmed ourselves to be. We can revamp the program, anytime. And right now is a good time to begin. We are surrounded by persons who have done just that.
It's time for praise. We are all that we need to be, and more. We will be helped to do all we are asked to do. We have an inner beauty that only needs encouragement to shine forth. If we smile from within today, we will free ourselves from our negative cages. A new life awaits us.
To catch myself each time I insult myself will be a challenge, but one worth taking on. And it's one I can win!
—Viola Spolin
We defeat ourselves with labels. We hem ourselves in; we shorten our vision; we cut off opportunities in the making. We influence how others think of us, too. Someone wise said that we teach others how to treat us. Are we teaching people to expect nothing great from us because we are always afraid? Do we shatter their vision of our potential by never thinking we can handle what may come?
We become the persons we have programmed ourselves to be. We can revamp the program, anytime. And right now is a good time to begin. We are surrounded by persons who have done just that.
It's time for praise. We are all that we need to be, and more. We will be helped to do all we are asked to do. We have an inner beauty that only needs encouragement to shine forth. If we smile from within today, we will free ourselves from our negative cages. A new life awaits us.
To catch myself each time I insult myself will be a challenge, but one worth taking on. And it's one I can win!
From Each Day a New Beginning: Daily Meditations for Women by Karen Casey
© 1982, 1991 by Hazelden Foundation.
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Food for Thought
Commitment
Our commitment to OA is total. The program is not something we pick up and put down according to whim. Abstinence is not a diet that we go on and off as it pleases us. Perhaps a seeming inability to commit ourselves to anything permanently has been one of our problems in the past. If so, we are now all the more aware of the necessity for genuine, total commitment to this program.
Most of us tried just about everything else before we came to OA. We may even have tried OA previously and left, thinking that there must be an easier way. Now we are desperate because we know that there is no other way for us. Our recovery depends on our willingness to commit ourselves honestly to the OA program and to work it day by day to the very best of our ability.
When we are firmly committed to the Twelve Steps and the OA principles, we are able to apply them to all aspects of our daily lives with astonishing results.
Strengthen my commitment, Lord.
Our commitment to OA is total. The program is not something we pick up and put down according to whim. Abstinence is not a diet that we go on and off as it pleases us. Perhaps a seeming inability to commit ourselves to anything permanently has been one of our problems in the past. If so, we are now all the more aware of the necessity for genuine, total commitment to this program.
Most of us tried just about everything else before we came to OA. We may even have tried OA previously and left, thinking that there must be an easier way. Now we are desperate because we know that there is no other way for us. Our recovery depends on our willingness to commit ourselves honestly to the OA program and to work it day by day to the very best of our ability.
When we are firmly committed to the Twelve Steps and the OA principles, we are able to apply them to all aspects of our daily lives with astonishing results.
Strengthen my commitment, Lord.
From Food for Thought: Daily Meditations for Overeaters by Elisabeth L.
©1980, 1992 by Hazelden Foundation.
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The Language of Letting Go
Our Higher Power
For the next twenty-four hours ...
In recovery, we live life one day at a time, an idea requiring an enormous amount of faith. We refuse to look back - unless healing from the past is part of today's work. We look ahead only to make plans. We focus on this day's activity, living it to the best of our ability. If we do that long enough, we'll have enough connected days of healing living to make something valuable of our life.
...I pray for knowledge of Your will for me only...
We surrender to God's will. We stop trying to control, and we settle for a life that is manageable. We trust our Higher Power's will for us - that it's good, generous, and with direction.
We're learning, through trial and error, to separate our will from God's will. We're learning that God's will is not offensive. We've learned that sometimes there's a difference between what others want us to do and God's will. We're also learning that God did not intend for us to be codependent, to be martyrs, to control or care take. We're learning to trust ourselves.
. . . and the power to carry that through.
Some of recovery is accepting powerlessness. An important part of recovery is claiming the power to take care of ourselves.
Sometimes, we need to do things that are frightening or painful. Sometimes, we need to step out, step back, or step forward. We need to call on the help of a Power greater than ourselves to do that.
We will never be called upon to do anything that we won't be empowered to do.
Today, I can call upon an energizing Power Source to help me. That Power is God. I will ask for what I need.
For the next twenty-four hours ...
In recovery, we live life one day at a time, an idea requiring an enormous amount of faith. We refuse to look back - unless healing from the past is part of today's work. We look ahead only to make plans. We focus on this day's activity, living it to the best of our ability. If we do that long enough, we'll have enough connected days of healing living to make something valuable of our life.
...I pray for knowledge of Your will for me only...
We surrender to God's will. We stop trying to control, and we settle for a life that is manageable. We trust our Higher Power's will for us - that it's good, generous, and with direction.
We're learning, through trial and error, to separate our will from God's will. We're learning that God's will is not offensive. We've learned that sometimes there's a difference between what others want us to do and God's will. We're also learning that God did not intend for us to be codependent, to be martyrs, to control or care take. We're learning to trust ourselves.
. . . and the power to carry that through.
Some of recovery is accepting powerlessness. An important part of recovery is claiming the power to take care of ourselves.
Sometimes, we need to do things that are frightening or painful. Sometimes, we need to step out, step back, or step forward. We need to call on the help of a Power greater than ourselves to do that.
We will never be called upon to do anything that we won't be empowered to do.
Today, I can call upon an energizing Power Source to help me. That Power is God. I will ask for what I need.
From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie
©1990, Hazelden Foundation
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Today's thought from Hazelden is:
We can act ourselves into right thinking easier than we can think ourselves into right acting.
--Anonymous
The best thing for us to do in our 12 Step Program is to be honest in how we act and think. We must be true to that belief.
We can't think for others, and they can't think for us. Friends can tell us the lessons they have learned from their experiences. If those lessons fit us, we can use them to help guide us and our thinking. We often hear, "Take what you need and leave the rest."
As good for us as our ideas are, we must not force them on others. We can only offer them. And we won't be true to ourselves if we are jealous of other people's ideas. We never know what we can do until we try, and we can't be sure what ideas are best for us until we test them.
Am I dedicated to the beliefs that are best for me in my recovery?
You are reading from the book:
Easy Does It by Anonymous
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