Food for Thought: October 4th

Friendship

Through this program, we learn that we have choices. Not only can we choose what we will eat and what we will do, but also we can choose our friends. As we become honest, unaddicted people, we are able to relate to each other on a level of mutuality and admiration rather than out of dependency and fear. We gain the self-confidence to choose those with whom we enjoy spending time and sharing, rather than slavishly catering to anyone who will notice us.

Friends in OA have a special bond, since we share a common problem and a common solution. By putting principles before personalities, we avoid dependency and childish demands. Though we love and support each other, we do not cling together, since we are each dependent on a Higher Power. Our friends give us the gift of themselves, which shows us who we are.

Thank You for friendship.

From Food for Thought: Daily Meditations for Overeaters by Elisabeth L. ©1980, 1992 by Hazelden Foundation.

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What strikes me in this reading is, "We gain the self-confidence to choose those with whom we enjoy spending time and sharing, rather than slavishly catering to anyone who will notice us."  During my days of compulsive overeating, I was a huge people-pleaser. I put on a facade all the time, telling people exactly what they wanted to hear so they would like me.  I was fat, after all, and considered myself 'unworthy' of love.  So I bent over backwards to be liked & accepted......but it was all based on lies. I couldn't let the 'real me' out because then nobody would like me! I refused to accept myself, so I morphed into whoever I felt I needed to be at the moment. I had no knowledge of who I really WAS, so I changed into whoever others wanted me to be. I didn't have my own principles and integrity to rely on, no baseline for my behavior.......I was just a chameleon putting on a different color based on the situation at hand.

Fear ruled my life, in other words.  When I got into Recovery, I knew I'd have to replace Fear with Faith if I was to heal what was broken within me.  I learned to rely on God to guide me, and to like myself as is.........period. When the Steps taught me to put principles & integrity FIRST, then everything else began falling into place, one day at a time.

Today, I know who I am. I am a child of God, beautiful & perfect exactly as I am.  I have established morals & standards for myself & my behavior.  I am who I am and it IS perfectly good enough. I don't have to jump through hoops in an effort to make people like me............because I like me. 

For today, I will show my true colors to everyone I meet. I will not hide behind the facade of false pretenses and fake smiles, pandering to anyone. I will honor myself & God by being ME, knowing that I AM good enough!