Giving Ourselves What We Deserve
I worked at a good job, making a decent salary. I had been recovering for years. Each morning, I got into my car and I thanked God for the car. The heater didn't work. And the chance of the car not starting was almost as great as the chance that it would. I just kept suffering through and thanking God. One day, it occurred to me that there was absolutely no good reason I couldn't buy myself a new car - that moment - if I wanted one. I had been gratitudeing myself into unnecessary deprivation and martyrdom. I bought the new car - that day.
—Anonymous
Often, our instinctive reaction to something we want or need is, No! I can't afford it!
The question we can learn to ask ourselves is, But can I?
Many of us have learned to habitually deprive ourselves of anything we might want, and often things we need.
Sometimes, we can misuse the concept of gratitude to keep ourselves unnecessarily deprived.
Gratitude for what we have is an important recovery concept. So is believing we deserve the best and making an effort to stop depriving ourselves and start treating ourselves well.
There is nothing wrong with buying ourselves what we want when we can afford to do that. Learn to trust and listen to yourself about what you want. There's nothing wrong with buying yourself a treat, buying yourself something new.
There are times when it is good to wait. There are times when we legitimately cannot afford a luxury. But there are many times when we can.
Today, I will combine the principles of gratitude for what I have with the belief that I deserve the best. If there is no good reason to deprive myself, I won't.
From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie
©1990, Hazelden Foundation.I worked at a good job, making a decent salary. I had been recovering for years. Each morning, I got into my car and I thanked God for the car. The heater didn't work. And the chance of the car not starting was almost as great as the chance that it would. I just kept suffering through and thanking God. One day, it occurred to me that there was absolutely no good reason I couldn't buy myself a new car - that moment - if I wanted one. I had been gratitudeing myself into unnecessary deprivation and martyrdom. I bought the new car - that day.
—Anonymous
Often, our instinctive reaction to something we want or need is, No! I can't afford it!
The question we can learn to ask ourselves is, But can I?
Many of us have learned to habitually deprive ourselves of anything we might want, and often things we need.
Sometimes, we can misuse the concept of gratitude to keep ourselves unnecessarily deprived.
Gratitude for what we have is an important recovery concept. So is believing we deserve the best and making an effort to stop depriving ourselves and start treating ourselves well.
There is nothing wrong with buying ourselves what we want when we can afford to do that. Learn to trust and listen to yourself about what you want. There's nothing wrong with buying yourself a treat, buying yourself something new.
There are times when it is good to wait. There are times when we legitimately cannot afford a luxury. But there are many times when we can.
Today, I will combine the principles of gratitude for what I have with the belief that I deserve the best. If there is no good reason to deprive myself, I won't.
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Funny how tough it can be to differentiate 'want' from 'need', especially where food is concerned! I spent SO much time catering to my every whim............buying things I didn't need & eating excess food that I DEFINITELY did not 'need', that I sometimes struggle nowadays with the concept of 'need' vs. 'want.'
Recovery is a learning experience.......a growing up experience.............a getting-to-know myself experience like nothing else. I've lived as a child in many ways...........stamping my feet and demanding what I want WHEN I want it..................now the adult in me must figure out how to silence the child in me!
Sigh. Recovery can be a messy thing. Addiction, however, can be a whole lot messier!
There is no easy way. There is only this moment, to learn and to surrender. For today, may I learn what to deprive myself of and what to treat myself to.
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