Recovery Meditations: May 27th

Balance

"I've learned that you can't have everything ...
and do everything ...
at the same time."

Oprah Winfrey


Learning about balance has been a struggle throughout my life; both as an addict and as a mother, friend, lover, sister... and woman. I'm not sure if it is my addiction that causes me to be over-zealous when it comes to giving too much to too many, or if my desire for love has manifested my addiction out of a need to feel full and satisfied. For me, finding that spot where a relationship is comfortable and not one-sided, where work is just 'work' and not all that nourishes my life... where school is an enhancement and not a crutch for hiding and isolating, is a hard place to for me to find. I see patterns within my life where I consistently struggle for harmony and balance. Why isn't one of anything enough? No matter what it is that is in my life; relationships, work, eating, shopping, I have to work at managing balance so that things flow at the right pace, otherwise, my entire life is off kilter.

But today, I don't need to struggle. I don't need to overdo my relationships or my work. I can do just one thing and know that the rest will be there tomorrow. Today I have the gifts that have been given to me to manage my life.

One Day at a Time . . .
I pray that God will help me to manage and balance my life so that I can do a good job with all things, especially living.

~ Pamela

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"Balance" is not something that comes to me naturally. I live in extremes. I over-do or under-do..........sit around like a sloth or work out until I can't move. Starve myself or binge like there's no tomorrow.  For 50 years, I've tried to have everything & do everything at the same time.  The result has been addiction.

As an addict, I have to FORCE balance UPON myself.  I stick to a measured Food Plan which helps me realize 'normal' as far as food is concerned. I work out for 1/2 an hour a day, period, and usually take Sunday's off. Everything is my life is structured, so that chaos does not prevail.

Addiction is the disease of More............so there is no such thing as 'enough'.  Satisfaction is always coming 'in the next bite' or in the next drink or in the next purchase.  But, no matter how MUCH we have, it's NEVER going to feel like enough.

We learn 'enough' by forcing a structured lifestyle upon ourselves, and by discovering our spirituality, which is usually buried under all the layers of fat, the shield, that has kept us OUT of the flow of life instead of INTO the flow of life!

For today, I pray that God will help me manage my life with balance and a sense of normalcy, so that I can be the best human being I can possibly be