The Language of Letting Go: May 31st

What If?

I was talking to a friend one day about something I planned to do. Actually, I was worrying about how one particular person might react to what I intended to do.

"What if he doesn't handle it very well?" I asked.

"Then," my friend replied, "you're going to have to handle it well."

What if's can make us crazy. They put control over our life in someone else's hands. What if's are a sign that we have reverted to thinking that people have to react in a particular way for us to continue on our course.

What if's are also a clue that we may be wondering whether we can trust ourselves and our Higher Power to do what's best for us. These are shreds of codependent ways of thinking, feeling, and behaving, and they signal fear.

The reactions, feelings, likes or dislikes of others don't have to control our behaviors, feelings, and direction. We don't need to control how others react to our choices. We can trust ourselves, with help from a Higher Power, to handle any outcome - even the most uncomfortable. And, my friend, we can trust ourselves to handle it well.

Today, I will not worry about other people's reactions or events outside of my control. Instead, I will focus on my reactions. I will handle my life well today and trust that, tomorrow, I can do the same. 

From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie ©1990, Hazelden Foundation.

Recovery Meditations: May 30th

Home
“A person can run for years but sooner or later
he has to take a stand in the place which, for better or worse,
he calls home, do what he can to change things there.”
Paule Marshall

I’ve been running for most of my life. I was in a hurry to grow up. As a kid, all I wanted was to grow up and move out. I was so sick of everything and everyone in my life. I didn't want to be told what to do. I wanted to be able to call the shots. Then, when I grew up, I wanted to be a kid again. I wanted people to tell me what to do and to take care of me. When I was calling the shots, I found myself in bars and eating out all the time because I didn’t want to go to the grocery store or cook. The only foods I kept in my studio apartment were binge foods. I lived in a very urban area and could very easily walk to fast food or to convenience stores. I didn't know what home meant. When I’m running, I get out of breath, my body hurts, my soul hurts, and I have no space for my Higher Power to guide me. I run laps in the same place, expecting to feel better, but never feeling better.

As a relative newcomer to program, I have made a conscious choice to stop. I turned it over to my Higher Power and asked for guidance in finding home and staying there. Now, as I am standing in place, I find that my home is my Higher Power. Standing in place, I've found that the world isn't as adverse as I'd perceived it to be. I can actually see the beauty in the world around me and feel nurtured by the feeling of home.

One day at a time...
Today I can stand in place and look around. I can be aware of the ever-loving presence of my Higher Power and the comfort of the home that have both been with me all along.

~ AJ

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Refusal to grow up is what compulsive overeating is all about. I want what I want and I want it NOW. Shall I stamp my feet and hold my breath until I turn blue because I want an ice cream cone? A big part of recovery is realizing our immaturity and addressing it, finally, in an attempt to stop the insanity of addiction.

What am I running from? Why am I willing to feel the pain and misery of overeating? My body hurts, my soul hurts, and I never feel better.  This is addiction at its worst.

For today, my Food Plan prevails. For today, I have God in my back pocket, helping me to remain an adult and to stay the course with my recovery.  For today, I can take comfort in my program and in God.

The Language of Letting Go: May 29th

Powerlessness and Unmanageability

Willpower is not the key to the way of life we are seeking. Surrender is.

"I have spent much of my life trying to make people be, do, or feel something they aren't, don't want to do, and choose not to feel. I have made them, and myself, crazy in that process," said one recovering woman.

I spent my childhood trying to make an alcoholic father who didn't love himself be a normal person who loved me. I then married an alcoholic and spent a decade trying to make him stop drinking.

I have spent years trying to make emotionally unavailable people be emotionally present for me. I have spent even more years trying to make family members, who are content feeling miserable, happy.

What I'm saying is this: I've spent much of my life desperately and vainly trying to do the impossible and feeling like a failure when I couldn't. It's been like planting corn and trying to make the seeds grow peas. Won't work!

By surrendering to powerlessness, I gain the presence of mind to stop wasting my time and energy trying to change and control that which I cannot change and control. It gives me permission to stop trying to do the impossible and focus on what is possible: being who I am, loving myself, feeling what I feel, and doing what I want to do with my life.

In recovery, we learn to stop fighting lions, simply because we cannot win. We also learn that the more we are focused on controlling and changing others, the more unmanageable our life becomes. The more we focus on living our own life, the more we have a life to live, and the more manageable our life will become.

Today, I will accept powerlessness where I have no power to change things, and I'll allow my life to become manageable. 

From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie ©1990, Hazelden Foundation

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This is the best explanation of surrendering to powerlessness EVER! Wasting time, trying to control the world and the outcome of situations is a giant WASTE of time and effort! I love giving myself permission to stop trying to do the impossible and focus on what IS possible! Being myself, loving myself, and moving forward with my life, as is.

For today, I will stop fighting lions, simply because I cannot win. For today, I accept my powerlessness where I have no power to change things, and I'l allow my life to become manageable.

Food for Thought: May 28th

Patience

The person who is a compulsive overeater is often someone who wants what he or she wants right now, if not before. When we take inventory, many of us realize that impatience is one of our most troublesome character defects. We are impatient with other people when they do not see things our way, we are impatient with the slowness of weight loss, and we are impatient when we do not seem to be making emotional and spiritual progress.

Cultivating patience helps us tremendously with our program. We grow in patience when we give God control of our lives and decide to live according to His timetable. If we accept what happens to us as the will of a Higher Power, we are better able to treat even the unpleasant situations as learning experiences. We become more patient with ourselves when we view our failures as opportunities to try again.

Fruitful growth is slow. Only weeds grow quickly. Acknowledging powerlessness builds the patience to persevere with what we can do and the faith to leave the results to God.

Trusting in You, may I learn patience.

From Food for Thought: Daily Meditations for Overeaters by Elisabeth L. ©1980, 1992 by Hazelden Foundation.

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Impatience is the hallmark of immaturity. Immaturity is what leads me to act like a willful child, insisting on having MY way at ALL times.  This includes eating what I want, when I want it.  Compulsive overeating is a disease of tantrums and childishness.  When I agree to grow UP is when I agree to stick to a food plan and to gain control of myself.
 

Embrace this day, this moment, this life, and with it, make joy. Feel and fully experience the reality of what is, and in the midst of it, make joy.

No matter how much or how little joy you've known in the past, now is your opportunity to make more. Focus on how good it is to simply be, and let pure, unconditional joy flow from your awareness.

Though you have pains and problems and challenges, you also have the good fortune of being able to make joy. With life as it is, from where you are, with what you have, make joy.

There is no need to fight or run away, to feel bitter or to make excuses, to give up, to back down, or to fall into a negative mindset. You have life, and you always have the ability to make joy.

Smile, and warm the world around you. Breathe deeply, gently, and peacefully feel the miracle of your own existence.

Live life as it comes. And with it, every bit of it, make joy.

For today, I will make joy instead of childish chaos.

Recovery Meditations: May 27th

Balance

"I've learned that you can't have everything ...
and do everything ...
at the same time."

Oprah Winfrey


Learning about balance has been a struggle throughout my life; both as an addict and as a mother, friend, lover, sister... and woman. I'm not sure if it is my addiction that causes me to be over-zealous when it comes to giving too much to too many, or if my desire for love has manifested my addiction out of a need to feel full and satisfied. For me, finding that spot where a relationship is comfortable and not one-sided, where work is just 'work' and not all that nourishes my life... where school is an enhancement and not a crutch for hiding and isolating, is a hard place to for me to find. I see patterns within my life where I consistently struggle for harmony and balance. Why isn't one of anything enough? No matter what it is that is in my life; relationships, work, eating, shopping, I have to work at managing balance so that things flow at the right pace, otherwise, my entire life is off kilter.

But today, I don't need to struggle. I don't need to overdo my relationships or my work. I can do just one thing and know that the rest will be there tomorrow. Today I have the gifts that have been given to me to manage my life.

One Day at a Time . . .
I pray that God will help me to manage and balance my life so that I can do a good job with all things, especially living.

~ Pamela

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"Balance" is not something that comes to me naturally. I live in extremes. I over-do or under-do..........sit around like a sloth or work out until I can't move. Starve myself or binge like there's no tomorrow.  For 50 years, I've tried to have everything & do everything at the same time.  The result has been addiction.

As an addict, I have to FORCE balance UPON myself.  I stick to a measured Food Plan which helps me realize 'normal' as far as food is concerned. I work out for 1/2 an hour a day, period, and usually take Sunday's off. Everything is my life is structured, so that chaos does not prevail.

Addiction is the disease of More............so there is no such thing as 'enough'.  Satisfaction is always coming 'in the next bite' or in the next drink or in the next purchase.  But, no matter how MUCH we have, it's NEVER going to feel like enough.

We learn 'enough' by forcing a structured lifestyle upon ourselves, and by discovering our spirituality, which is usually buried under all the layers of fat, the shield, that has kept us OUT of the flow of life instead of INTO the flow of life!

For today, I pray that God will help me manage my life with balance and a sense of normalcy, so that I can be the best human being I can possibly be

Food for Thought: May 26th

Miracles

OA testifies to the occurrence of miracles in our daily lives. The physical, emotional, and spiritual changes that take place in those who sincerely practice the program are truly miraculous. Our stories are witness to the Power that is available to change lives and produce new people.

These miracles, however, usually happen slowly. It took most of us many years to blow our bodies and minds out of shape by eating too much of the wrong kind of food and by thinking too many of the wrong kinds of thoughts. The miracle of recovery does not happen overnight.

To try OA with the idea of shedding a few extra pounds in time for bathing suit season is to miss the mark. It was lack of self-knowledge and spiritual insight that got us out of shape, and only dedicated, long term work and commitment to the OA principles will produce the miraculous change we all desire.

Miracles do happen, but the ground needs to be carefully prepared and the new growth nurtured daily.

May I be willing to prepare myself for Your miracle.

From Food for Thought: Daily Meditations for Overeaters by Elisabeth L. ©1980, 1992 by Hazelden Foundation

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OA is not a diet club............we don't commit to the program in an effort to lose X lbs in X amount of days. We commit to the principles of the 12 steps in an effort to take our LIVES back, one day at a time.  Addiction is the ruination of life; chaos prevails and there is no room for joy.  When we decide we've had enough of excess, THEN we make the decision to change our lives and to embrace a Food Plan.

The Food Plan must prevail if we are to recover. We eat measured meals at regular intervals throughout the day, and we avoid our trigger foods, sugar & white flour, primarily.  When we start eating trigger foods, there is NO end in sight! There is also no satisfaction to be had...........because satisfaction will always be found in the 'next bite'............but it NEVER comes.  We eat ourselves into a coma and STILL we don't feel satisfied. We are trying to fill an emotional/spiritual void with food........and there isn't enough food on EARTH to fill such a void.

For today, I will stay true to my Food Plan, whether I feel like it or not. I will pull on my big girl panties and suck it up, just for the next 24 hours.  Recovery feels better than ANY food ever can!

The Language of Letting Go: May 25th

Loving Ourselves Unconditionally

Love yourself into health and a good life of your own.

Love yourself into relationships that work for you and the other person. Love yourself into peace, happiness, joy, success, and contentment.

Love yourself into all that you always wanted. We can stop treating ourselves the way others treated us, if they behaved in a less than healthy, desirable way. If we have learned to see ourselves critically, conditionally, and in a diminishing and punishing way, it's time to stop. Other people treated us that way, but it's even worse to treat ourselves that way now.

Loving ourselves may seem foreign, even foolish at times. People may accuse us of being selfish. We don't have to believe them.

People who love themselves are truly able to love others and let others love them. People who love themselves and hold themselves in high esteem are those who give the most, contribute the most, and love the most.

How do we love ourselves? By forcing it at first. By faking it, if necessary. By acting as if. By working as hard at loving and liking ourselves as we have at not liking ourselves.

Explore what it means to love yourself.

Do things for yourself that reflect compassionate, nurturing, self love.

Embrace and love all of yourself - past, present, and future. Forgive yourself quickly and as often as necessary. Encourage yourself. Tell yourself good things about yourself.

If we think and believe negative ideas, get them out in the open quickly and honestly, so we can replace those beliefs with better ones.

Pat yourself on the back when necessary. Discipline yourself when necessary. Ask for help, for time; ask for what you need.

Sometimes, give yourself treats. Do not treat yourself like a pack mule, always pushing and driving harder. Learn to be good to yourself. Choose behaviors with preferable consequences - treating yourself well is one.

Learn to stop your pain, even when that means making difficult decisions. Do not unnecessarily deprive yourself. Sometimes, give yourself what you want, just because you want it.

Stop explaining and justifying yourself. When you make mistakes, let them go. We learn, we grow, and we learn some more. And through it all, we love ourselves.

We work at it, and then work at it some more. One day we'll wake up, look in the mirror, and find that loving ourselves has become habitual. We're now living with a person who gives and receives love, because that person loves him or herself. Self-love will take hold and become a guiding force in our life.

Today, I will work at loving myself. I will work as hard at loving myself as I have at not liking myself. Help me let go of self-hate and behaviors that reflect not liking myself. Help me replace those with behaviors that reflect self-love. Today, God, help me hold myself in high self-esteem. Help me know I'm lovable and capable of giving and receiving love. 

From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie ©1990, Hazelden Foundation.

Recovery Meditations: May 24th

PERFECTION

"The thing that is really hard, and really amazing,
is giving up on being perfect and
beginning the work of becoming yourself."
Anna Quindlen

"Perfect"...to me that word sounds like: "Do it again. You didn't do it right." That's the message I get from the voices in my head. The messages of perfectionism tell me over and over that I did it wrong. It's a powerful weapon when you use it as a whip against yourself, just like negative messages when you look in a mirror. I have a choice every single moment of every single day to either pick up that whip and hurt myself, or to "get out of my own way" and be kind. I can choose to look in the mirror and be thankful, and to look at myself and feel love. It takes a lot of practice, but it is worth it.

If you love yourself more than you love anyone else, you can feel happiness again. You can create again. You can look at your shadow and say good things about it too! It's another beautiful you ~ unique and wonderfully made.

One day at a time...
I will celebrate the beauty of myself today and everyday.

~ Karen

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Perfection: What a Crock! (My blog)

The maxim, “Nothing but Perfection” may be spelled Paralysis.

Winston Churchill

If I have to do everything Perfectly, why bother even trying? I can’t be perfect, no matter how much I’d like to be or how hard I try. Even when I stayed on plan the entire time I was on the 5/1, I am quite sure I wasn’t ‘perfect.’  When I went out for dinner at least once a week, I didn’t take my food scale with me. So, being unable to weigh & measure my L&G meant that I was guesstimating my caloric intake. It was not ‘perfect’ nor precise. What it was was close enough.

If I strive for utter perfection in my life, I wind up paralyzing myself.

What I do strive for is doing the best I possibly can.

Nowadays in Maintenance, I am not perfect either. What I am, though, is Committed to my food plan & the lifestyle change I undertook back on June 11th of 2008.  On that day nearly 5 years ago, I decided I was going to change my life because I was sick & tired of being fat & medicated because of my own bad eating habits.

I decided to use the Medifast 5/1 to teach me how to develop a routine to follow instead of relying on myself. I saw where that got me: to 225 lbs & a size 2X.

By no means am I perfect but I am Committed. There is a big difference between those two words, isn’t there?

If I have a bad moment with my food intake, that’s what it is: a moment. I get right back to my routine & my food plan if I veer off track momentarily.

The routine is my new lifestyle: eating 6 small, healthy meals a day & working out for 25 minutes after dinner every night. And climbing 4 flights of stairs at work 4 times a day. Whether I feel like it or not. And many, many times I do not feel like it, let me tell you. What I do feel like is staying thin & healthy, more than I don’t feel like exercising or eating right.

But motivation & ‘feeling like it’ has nothing to do with Commitment. And Commitment has nothing to do with perfection.

Once I ditched my ideals of attaining perfection, only then was I able to accept the fact that weight management is an ongoing process. We here at MF call it a journey.  Whatever it is, I can tell you what it isn’t: a struggle for perfection.

If a person strives for Perfection, he’s probably weighed down with the All-Or-Nothing mentality, too. You know…..the “If I Eat One Cookie That Means I Have To Eat The Whole Box Of Cookies” way of thinking? Because hey, if I eat that cookie, I may as well eat the whole box because I’ve already ruined the whole day & now I have to wait until tomorrow to start the damn diet again. The “Day One Again” mentality, which I personally detest. Every day of my life is Day One.  Every day is a new Day One to do the best I can at whatever I attempt. Every day is a new Day One for all of us, unless we don’t wake up that day. And, if we don’t wake up, we will no longer care about earthly matters anyway.

One day at a time, we can do anything. One day at a time, we can ditch the struggle for Perfection & accept the terms of reality. Reality is, we’re prone to being fat; we tend to eat too much; we tend to rather sit on the couch & watch TV than work out; and we’d rather eat what we want when we want to and still be thin & healthy.

When we ditch the fantasy & the struggle for perfection & accept Reality is when we get our heads into the game.

And this is one game that lasts for Life. If you made a mistake this morning, make a healthy choice now. If you ate a cookie, leave it at one cookie & don’t turn it into a Box. If you want to lose weight & get healthy, Make. It. Happen.

I believe you can.

Do you?

My Certified Health Coach Website

Food for Thought: May 23rd

Thinking Thin

Our mental attitude has much to do with our physical reality. "As a man thinketh in his heart, so he is." If we think in terms of being thin, it is easier to adjust our appetite to the smaller amount of food, which we require. In the past, we may have been eating enough for two people. Large numbers of us in OA have lost the equivalent weight of at least one whole person.

By using our imagination to picture ourselves as thin, active, and healthy, we help our bodies adjust to the new image. Our old, fat self may want more to eat, but the thin person we are becoming does not need more. The fat self may grumble at leaving a comfortable chair to go out for a walk or at climbing a flight of stairs instead of taking the elevator. A sharp mental image of a new, thin self helps provide the necessary motivation to get up and go.

God does not intend us to be distorted and encumbered with excess weight. He will help us see the person we are meant to be.

May I become the person You intend.

From Food for Thought: Daily Meditations for Overeaters by Elisabeth L. ©1980, 1992 by Hazelden Foundation.

My Certified Health Coach Website

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Focus on your good fortune

Think about the things that are right with your life. Think about the good and valuable relationships, skills, tools, resources and opportunities that you have right here, right now.

Focus on what's right with your life, and make the commitment to make it grow. Focus on what's right with your life, and make good and purposeful use of that value to make even more.

It's easy to complain about what's wrong. But not only does that miss the point, it keeps you stuck in a gloomy, ineffectual perspective.

The fact is, there are plenty of good things in your life. The more you pay attention to them, the more thankful you are for them, the more of them there will be.

If you catch yourself feeling sorry for yourself, have the good sense to stop. Re-direct your energy into feeling lucky for the opportunity you have to make a real, meaningful difference.

Focus on your good fortune. It's most definitely there, and you can use it to make a whole lot more.

The Language of Letting Go: May 22nd

Times of Reprogramming

Do not ask for love unless you're ready to be healed enough to give and receive love.

Do not ask for joy unless you're ready to feel and release your pain, so you can feel joy.

Do not ask for success unless you're ready to conquer the behaviors that would sabotage success.

Wouldn't it be nice if we could imagine ourselves having or becoming - and then immediately receiving - what we wanted? We can have and be the good things we want. All good things are ours for the asking. But first, groundwork - preparation work - must be done.

A gardener would not plant seeds unless the ground was adequately prepared to nurture and nourish those seeds. The planting would be wasted effort. It would be wasted effort for us to get what we wanted before we were ready.

First, we need to become aware of our need or desire. This may not be easy! Many of us have become accustomed to shutting off the inner voice of our wants, needs, and desires. Sometimes, life has to work hard to get our attention.

Next we let go of the old programming: the behavior and beliefs that interfere with nurturing and nourishing the good. Many of us have strong sabotaging programs, learned from childhood, that need to be released. We may need to act as if for a while until the belief that we deserve the good becomes real.

We combine this process with much letting go, while we are being changed at the core.

There is naturalness to this process, but it can be intense. Things take time.

Good things are ours for the asking, if we are willing to participate in the work of groundbreaking. Work and wait.

Today, God, give me the courage to identify the good I want in my life and to ask for it. Give me also the faith and stamina I need to go through the work that must be accomplished first. 

From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie ©1990, Hazelden Foundation.

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As a compulsive overeater/food addict, I want everything NOW. Patience is not a strong suit...........preparation falls by the wayside as I plunge right in, expecting results NOW!

Part of being an adult means developing patience.  Developing willingness to put in the footwork in order to achieve the desired results.  I must be willing and accepting.  I must put aside my expectations and accept life on LIFE'S terms.  Expectations breed resentments, and so, I work on letting GO of ALL expectations in life.

When I put in my time and effort, the Universe pays me back by giving me all I NEED.  My wants far exceed my needs, however, and I recognize that.  When I become willing to take what COMES, I begin to differentiate between 'want' and 'need.'

My measured Food Plan gives me all the nourishment my body Needs.  It may not provide me with all the food I Want to eat...............because I enjoy eating sweets for taste.  Those sweets and other junk foods, however, are very harmful to my body AND mind, creating inner turmoil and chaos, so I focus on my Needs versus my many Wants.

For today, I let go of my Wants in favor of my Needs. My faith in God assures me that, when I let go & do the groundwork, everything I NEED will come to me in time.

For today, I pray for the patience to wait for all the good things that I am going to receive.

For today, I pray for the courage to identify the good I want in my life and to ask for it, and to be willing to do the work to achieve my goals.

Food for Thought: May 21st

A Reason to Be Thin

How many times have we been determined to lose weight for a specific occasion or event? A trip, a wedding, a new job, a holiday - there are many such occasions which may have provided inspiration for short term reducing. The problem with losing weight for a specific event is that when it is over there is nothing left to provide an incentive for maintaining the weight loss.

Many of us have spent years losing and gaining the same pounds over and over again. Since the reasons for losing were superficial, the loss was temporary.

What we need is a permanent reason to be rid of fat. When we abstain from compulsive eating and work the OA program, we not only lose weight but we also live better. We have more enthusiasm, satisfaction, and peace of mind, as well as better looks and health. Our reason to be thin is that it gives us a richer, fuller life not just for one occasion but every day. The benefits are worth the price.

May I want to be thin for the right reasons.

From Food for Thought: Daily Meditations for Overeaters by Elisabeth L. ©1980, 1992 

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I call it 'event dieting'...........wanting to lose X amount of pounds in X amount of time to fit into a certain dress & look good at the class reunion.  When the event passes, so does the desire to lose weight and the incentive to keep it off.  Yo yo dieting is the obvious result of such behavior, and every time we embark on a new one, we weigh more than last time, the binges are worse than ever before, and the hopelessness is palpable.

Abstinence is not a 'diet'. Abstinence is a Food Plan for sanity; something we follow in an effort to avoid the chaos of compulsive eating. Sometimes we forget how bad the chaos WAS while we were compulsively eating, and so we go back...............we'll overeat, 'just this once', to see what will happen. What happens is............we go right back into the clutches of the disease and the addiction triggers again.............and God knows HOW long it takes to get back to the sanity of the Food Plan!

A Binge Too Far, my blog

 Have you reached a point in your program where you’re ready to give UP? To quit entirely, because you can’t seem to get back on track? 

We see an awful lot of people re-committing  after having regained all the weight they’ve lost on the first go-around.  I know that feeling myself, since I spent 4 decades losing and regaining weight, yo yo dieting like a madwoman. 

Why do we DO this? Why do we work SO hard to lose a lot of weight and then wind up regaining it after we give up?

Usually, it’s because we’ve taken a few too many off plan bites. Which led to binges. Which led to one binge too MANY.  There seems to be an invisible line we cross at some point…………..where we lose the battle with self-control………….and we give UP. 

 A binge too far.

Do you know what I’m talking about? 

We stay on plan for a long period of time; the cravings subside and we’re feeling peaceful about food.  Then we fall off plan for whatever reason.  Suddenly our taste buds are all revved up and the cravings come back with a vengeance.  The food obsession kicks in, yet again, and we’re not quite sure WHAT to do to get back on track.

We’re back in the clutches of food addiction rather quickly, and we’re struggling mightily.

We don’t want to give up, but the food is very alluring.  It’s beckoning us constantly, it’s calling our name wherever we go. It’s everywhere and we’re finding it impossible to resist.

Unfortunately, this is the nature of food addiction in general.   And, we’ve given in so many times already, why not give in again? Just for one more day………..one more time…………..one more binge.

Will this be the binge you can’t recover from? Will this be the invisible line you cross over? I don’t know…………and neither do YOU.

Right now you’re faced with a big question: Do you give in AGAIN? Do you quit and regain all the weight you’ve worked so hard to lose?

Or, do you recommit yourself NOW, before you get even further into the muck?

There is no ‘easy’ way. There is either adherence to the Food Plan or there is chaos.

Today, choose peace.  Today, say NO to the chaos.  Today, take YOUR program BACK before it’s too late.  Don’t find yourself back to your starting weight and needing to recommit again.  Do it NOW. Because you know you WILL be back if you regain this weight. And while it may seem like all this delicious food is ‘worth it’, it ISN’T. And you KNOW that.

Don’t fall for the lies the food is promising you. That you’ll feel better after you eat it. You won’t. You will feel worse……….you will feel like a failure.

Come back NOW. Don’t question WHAT to do……………recommit to the Food Plan……don’t tweak it, don’t question it………just come back TO it, today. NOW. In the end, it’s easier than going back to the hopelessness of obesity, isn’t it?

 

The Language of Letting Go: May 20th

Sadness

Ultimately, to grieve our losses means to surrender to our feelings.

So many of us have lost so much, have said so many good byes - have been through so many changes. We may want to hold back the tides of change, not because the change isn't good, but because we have had so much change, so much loss.

Sometimes, when we are in the midst of pain and grief, we become shortsighted, like members of a tribe described in the movie Out of Africa.

"If you put them in prison," one character said, describing this tribe, "they die."

"Why?" asked another character.

"Because they can't grasp the idea that they'll be let out one day. They think it's permanent, so they die."

Many of us have so much grief to get through. Sometimes we begin to believe grief, or pain, is a permanent condition.

The pain will stop. Once felt and released, our feelings will bring us to a better place than where we started. Feeling our feelings, instead of denying or minimizing them, is how we heal from our past and move forward into a better future. Feeling our feelings is how we let go.

It may hurt for a moment, but peace and acceptance are on the other side. So is a new beginning.

God, help me fully embrace and finish my endings, so I may be ready for my new beginnings. 

From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie ©1990, Hazelden Foundation.

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Compulsive eaters think in terms of 'never' and 'forever'.  If we're having a bad day, it computes to having a bad LIFE.  We're so afraid to feel our emotions, thinking THEY will kill us.........forgetting that it isn't emotions that kill, it's addiction.  The drive thru is a faster way to misery and death than sitting through our emotions ANY day.

The only way OUT is THROUGH. When we embrace and accept our disease is when we become willing to go to WHATEVER lengths are necessary to get it into remission and to KEEP it there.

I need not worry about yesterday or tomorrow. Whatever grief consumes me has already passed. What is wrong right NOW, at this very moment? Nothing.

For today, I will live FOR today. I pray to embrace new beginnings today, since TODAY is all I have.  For 24 hours, I can do anything!

Food for Thought: May 19th

Resentments

When we hang on to resentments, we poison ourselves. As compulsive overeaters, we cannot afford resentment, since it exacerbates our disease. If we do not get rid of our anger and bitterness, we will suffer more than anyone. Seeking revenge will harm ourselves in the long run.

Many of us have carried around old grudges, which caused us to reach for food when we thought about them. We don't need the food and we don't need the grudges, either. When we give away the resentments, we are that much lighter in body and in spirit. Now that we have found OA, we have a way to get rid of the animosity and indignation, which has been poisoning our system.

Taking inventory and making amends is an essential part of burying resentments. We need to first be consciously aware of them before we can give them away. These steps usually need to be taken again and again as negative material threatens our physical, emotional, and spiritual well-being.

Take away my resentments, Lord. 

From Food for Thought: Daily Meditations for Overeaters by Elisabeth L. ©1980, 1992 by Hazelden Foundation.

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When I poison my mind with hate and resentment, I wind up poisoning my BODY with food, booze and cigarettes. It's just THAT simple.

When I let go of all bitterness is when I thrive..........when I am whole..........when I don't need to rely on addictive behavior to 'cope'................I remove the barriers that prevent me from living a full & happy life.

Negativity is no longer a part of my life.  When I run into energy vampires, who try to suck out MY joy, I put up a shield to protect myself from all those vibes! I do not 'have to' absorb ANY negativity into my life. 

For today, I will allow no resentments or bitterness into my day.

Food for Thought: May 18th

Safety

I am safe as long as I do not take the first compulsive bite. Abstinence is my security. If I break my abstinence, I lose my protection against the confusion, remorse, and pain of overeating.

To keep my abstinence strong, I need to use the OA tools of recovery each day. I need to build my program and to give it my best efforts. Remembering that my Higher Power has given me a new life, I will not endanger it by forgetting how much I need His care.

Temptation is always appearing in one form or another. Sometimes it may seem impossible not to give in. My strength lies not in myself but in God, and only by maintaining close contact with Him can I remain safe.

My Higher Power has led me to OA and has given me a safe place to be. When I am tempted or upset, I will use the telephone, go to a meeting, practice Step Eleven, and do whatever else it takes to maintain my abstinence.

Thank You for bringing me to a safe place.
 

From Food for Thought: Daily Meditations for Overeaters by Elisabeth L. ©1980, 1992 by Hazelden Foundation.
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How far am I willing to go to preserve my sanity? Abstinence = sanity. If I break my abstinence, I lose my protection against the confusion, remorse & pain of overeating.

For today, I will use my OA tools of recovery. I will seek support. I will pray to God to help me stay the course and keep up the willingness TO stay the course.

Temptation is everywhere. For today, I will not consider ANY food 'tempting'..............because to be tempted by food is to consider eating it. And if I eat it, I will lose my self-respect and NOTHING is THAT tempting!!

Thank You, Lord, for bringing me to a safe place.

Food for Thought: May 17th

Hunger Is a Habit

Have you ever had the experience of being so interested in what you were doing that meal time came and went before you realized that it was time to eat? Because you were not thinking about food, you were not aware of being hungry.

Eating provides a diversion from the tasks of the day. It is something to do when we can't think of anything else to do. Often our "hunger" in anticipation of a meal arises because we look at the clock and see that it is almost time to eat. Instead of being aware of how we are feeling internally, we allow habit and external cues to stimulate our appetite. "It is noon; therefore, I must be hungry."

The more we can concentrate on activities other than eating, the more successful we will be in controlling our disease. We need a program, one which gives meaning to our days and satisfaction to our spirits. Our Higher Power will lift us out of the rut of destructive habits if we sincerely give our lives into His care.

Teach me constructive habits, I pray.

From Food for Thought: Daily Meditations for Overeaters by Elisabeth L. ©1980, 1992 by Hazelden Foundation

My Certified Health Coach Website

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This reading hits the nail on the head for me. Eating provide a diversion from the tasks of the day. It's something to DO when I'm bored..............I've always been a big boredom eater, it's one of my triggers.

Working a program that gives satisfaction to my spirit & meaning to my days is vital for recovery.

For today, I pray to be lifted out of the rut of destructive habits.

Food for Thought: May 16th

Rebellion

Compulsive overeating may often be a form of rebellion. In the past, the more we tried to diet, the more we rebelled against the diet, and the more we overate. We were rebelling not only against a diet but also against other people, ourselves, and our Higher Power.

We should never consider abstinence as defined by OA to be just another diet. To do so would be to invite further rebellion. We compulsive overeaters seem especially prone to fight constraints of any kind. Rather than constraining us, abstinence is our liberation. We no longer have a diet to rebel against.

When we accept abstinence, we decide to have three measured meals a day with nothing in between, and we decide to avoid our personal binge foods. What those meals will consist of is our choice, and we make the choice daily. All we have to do is plan what we will have, measure it, enjoy it, and then get from one meal to the next without taking the first compulsive bite. Simple. There is no diet to rebel against.

I pray that I will no longer need to rebel.

From Food for Thought: Daily Meditations for Overeaters by Elisabeth L. ©1980, 1992 by Hazelden Foundation.

My Certified Health Coach Website

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I no longer 'diet', although sometimes it FEELS like I am rebelling against my Food Plan! I've spent my entire life either dieting or having binges..........there was very little in between.  Extreme, all-or-nothing behavior at its worst.

(In June of 2008, I took on my last formal 'diet', the 5/1 Medifast program, as a last ditch effort to find & keep abstinence intact. The program changed my eating habits, teaching me to eat 6 small, measured meals a day at regular intervals)

 My blog: The All Or Nothing Mentality is the Killer

 The ‘all-or-nothing’ mentality kills us every single time we try to lose weight or to embrace a lifestyle change, doesn’t it?  We tell ourselves we either have to be perfect or we won’t do anything at all. We’re either fat or desperately trying to lose weight overnight. We want it yesterday & we won’t take no for an answer. Are you nodding your heads here? 

We’re going to throw ourselves into a back-breaking exercise routine that we can’t possibly keep up with on a daily basis or else we’re hopeless couch potatoes unwilling to move a muscle. We’re either starving ourselves mercilessly or eating like animals. We’re either 100% obsessed with counting every piece of gum that goes into our mouths or we’re eating an entire cake straight from the box. This is the ‘all-or-nothing’ mentality I’m referring to. I’d venture to guess we’re all guilty of this behavior or we have been at some point in our endless battle with food & weight control.  I myself have had this mentality my whole life & it’s just recently I’ve come to the conclusion that it must end. Now. 

If I get a flat tire, I have it fixed...........I don't slash the other 3.

The all or nothing mentality killed me in maintenance countless times over the years. If I ‘blew’ the diet, I’d continue to blow it & ditch my whole program. Cuz hey, I blew so I’m finished. How ridiculous is that way of thinking?? If I have a bad day now, I get right back on plan & minimize the damage…I don’t continue that crazy eating behavior & throw in the towel! That’s why I’m successful this time in maintenance but never before! That’s it in a nutshell.

We have people here who insist on perfection at all times…..insist that it’s vital to stay 100% on plan 100% of the time in order to be a true ‘success’. We have others who insist it’s perfectly fine to go off plan from time to time & still be a ‘success’. Whatever your strategy is isn’t the issue here. There are people who stay 100% on plan all the time in 5/1 & wind up gaining every pound back they lost & more. There are people who go off plan once in awhile & still get to goal & keep the weight off. I truly don’t think staying on plan or going off plan during the 5/1 is an accurate indicator of how you will handle yourself in maintenance, I really don’t. What I do think is vital for long term success is finding a way to ditch that all or nothing mentality & come to terms with the fact that weight management is an ongoing process. You will spend the rest of your life being aware of what you eat & avoiding your trigger foods if you want to keep the weight off, let’s face it. Does an off plan eating event mean you’re finished with the process? Of course not!!! 

I’ve been pretty darn vigilant in maintenance  but yeah, I have had my moments of eating too much…believe me. What do I do when that happens? I get right back on plan & into my usual routine immediately & act like nothing happened. That’s not to say I’m unaware of what I did….I just don’t let it get me down or totally off track…that’s the difference. 

I jog in place for 15 minutes every day. I walk 4 flights of stairs 4 times per day 5 days per week, and I do some floor exercises & 10 minutes on the Crazy Fit. I’m better off exercising a little every day than I am forcing a grueling workout on myself. I don’t respond well to backbreaking exercise. I’m liable to feel sorry for myself if I do that & I may feel ‘entitled’ to eat more as a result. So I don’t do it. I have figured out what works for me & I do it.

I’m not sure there is any ‘right or wrong’ when it comes to making a lifestyle change except for one: that all or nothing mentality is wrong. It will kill you every single time & prevent you from getting to goal or keeping the weight off. Ditch it. Don’t dwell on making yourself into a perfect creature, it ain’t gonna happen. 99% or more of us will fall off plan during the 5/1 or sometime afterwards. We will relapse. Period. That’s not a figment of my imagination, that is reality. How will we handle that relapse is what I’m asking you to ask yourself. What is your plan of action to rebound after you eat too much? What is your plan to get back on track after you fall off? One bite does not have to lead to another unless we allow it to. And if we do allow it to, then we pick ourselves up & get back to the routine we’ve developed that will allow us to get where we’re going & to stay there. 

I’ll end by saying yes, it’s a good idea to stay on plan all the time so you can allow those new eating habits to sink in. Remember one thing though: those old eating habits won’t get erased from your memory….you can call on them any time & they’ll be happy to come out & play. Those bad habits will, however, stay in remission while you stay OP. Make it your goal to accomplish 2 things here: to stay OP every day and to ditch the all-or-nothing mentality when it comes to food.

For today, I am not going to starve or binge.  For today, I am not going to kill myself exercising or act like a couch potato.

For today, I am going to live in moderation.

Hugs

Chris

Food for Thought

Just For Today

I do not have to plan the rest of my life this morning. All I have is today. I do not need to worry about what I will have for dinner tomorrow night. All I need to be concerned about today is today's food plan.

By accepting the fact that I cannot eat spontaneously - whatever and whenever I feel like it - I have freed myself to live more spontaneously. I make plans for the things that need to be done, but I find time left over to use as the Spirit moves. I will not decide today what I will do with the free time tomorrow. Tomorrow will bring new possibilities and promptings.

Just for today, I am living my program. I will not worry about how hard it will be to work it tomorrow. Tomorrow I will have new strength and fresh insight. Just for today, I will remember to stop and listen to the inner voice and follow where it leads. When I follow it, there is adventure in the day and joy in my heart.

Thank You for today.

From Food for Thought: Daily Meditations for Overeaters by Elisabeth L. ©1980, 1992 by Hazelden Foundation.

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It has been my tendency to live for tomorrow, and to miss out on the joys of today.  If I worry about my food plan for the future, I will find it impossible to stay abstinent today.

Just for today, I am living my program. I will not worry about how hard it will be to work tomorrow, or find excuses why it 'can't' work today. It CAN work and it WILL work, because I do not 'need' excess food to live.  My body needs far fewer calories than I THINK it needs, in all truth. My salvation lies in spirituality; not in food.

Meditation for today: "Seek ye first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things shall be added unto you." We should not seek material things first, but seek spiritual things first and material things will come to us, as we honestly work for them. Many people seek material things first and think they can then grow into knowledge of spiritual things. You cannot serve God and Mammon at the same time. The first requisites of an abundant life are the spiritual things: honesty, purity, unselfishness, and love. Until you have these qualities, quantities of material things are of little real use to you.

Recovery Meditations: May 14th

PERFECTIONISM

"Shooting stars come out of the darkness."
Unknown Author

Today I am wading through guilt and shame as I try to step into the Light. My ankles are mired in unfulfilled visions and lost dreams. Childhood voices scream at me of my Potential. What are you doing? You're smart, talented, and beautiful. What are you doing with your life? You have the capacity for a great job, why do you loll in mediocrity? You're close to thinness, why can't you eat less? You could be beautiful, why don't you take more time with your hair, makeup, have manicures or plastic surgery? Why do you hover around "good enough"?

I remember when I had all these things, I wanted different things. The voices remind me I am not perfect, only a perfectionist. My goals remind me of what I lack. My tears remind me I am not what I preach. My Higher Power reminds me I am still on the easel, and grateful for my journey. My darkness reminds me I live in the Light.

One day at a time...
I seek the light of recovery that is seeking me.

~ Dodee

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 What strikes me most about this reading is the phrase, "I remember when I had all these things, I wanted different things."  When I seek perfection, I am NEVER satisfied, period. I hear women utter this statement ALL the time. "When I was thin and beautiful, I thought I was fat & ugly."

WHEN are we going to love ourselves, AS IS, without stipulations about weight or beauty? We are not our bodies; we are our spirits..........our personalities and our capacity for love..............we are so much MORE than our outward appearance, yet we strive to make IT perfect.  We SHOULD BE focusing on our insides..........on our spiritual condition versus the size or shape of our bodies. Yet we devote our entire lives to our bodies.

When I was 12 I weighed 150 lbs and Mom started me in Weight Watchers. 

When I was 18 and graduated High School, I weighed 140 and wore a size12

When I got married the first time, I weighed 190 lbs and wore a size 20

When I gave birth to my first child, I weighed 223 lbs and wore a size WHATEVER.

Do you see the twisted thinking here? On the most important occasions of my life, what I remember is how much I WEIGHED and what SIZE I wore!

What a waste.

I have wasted SO MUCH TIME obsessing over my weight, and judging mySELF based on a number instead of on an internal, inherent goodness!

I will not waste ONE MORE MINUTE of my precious life dwelling on something SO superficial. 

For today, I will focus on who I am on the INSIDE and work on developing my SPIRIT instead of the temporary vessel that houses it!

The Language of Letting Go: March 13th

Property Lines

A helpful tool in our recovery, especially in the behavior we call detachment, is learning to identify who owns what. Then we let each person own and possess his or her rightful property.

If another person has an addiction, a problem, a feeling, or a self-defeating behavior, that is their property, not ours. If someone is a martyr, immersed in negativity, controlling, or manipulative behavior, that is their issue, not ours.

If someone has acted and experienced a particular consequence, both the behavior and the consequence belong to that person.

If someone is in denial or cannot think clearly on a particular issue, that confusion belongs to him or her.

If someone has a limited or impaired ability to love or care, that is his or her property, not ours. If someone has no approval or nurturing to give away, that is that person's property.

People's lies, deceptions, tricks, manipulations, abusive behaviors, inappropriate behaviors, cheating behaviors, and tacky behaviors belong to them, too. Not us.

People's hope and dreams are their property. Their guilt belongs to them too. Their happiness or misery is also theirs. So are their beliefs and messages.

If some people don't like themselves, that is their choice. Other people's choices are their property, not ours.

What people choose to say and do is their business.

What is our property? Our property includes our behaviors, problems, feelings, happiness, misery, choices, and messages; our ability to love, care, and nurture; our thoughts, our denial, our hopes and dreams for ourselves. Whether we allow ourselves to be controlled, manipulated, deceived, or mistreated is our business.

In recovery, we learn an appropriate sense of ownership. If something isn't ours, we don't take it. If we take it, we learn to give it back. Let other people have their property, and learn to own and take good care of what's ours.

Today, I will work at developing a clear sense of what belongs to me, and what doesn't. If it's not mine, I won't keep it. I will deal with my issues, my responsibilities, and myself. I will take my hands off what is not mine.

From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie ©1990, Hazelden Foundation.

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 When I forget who owns what, then I tend to take on everyone else's problems & make them my own.  When I do that, I want to EAT! For today, I will not take on something that isn't mine.  If I wind up taking it on, for whatever reason, I will recognize the error of my ways & give it back!


Meditation for the Day: Try never to judge. The human mind is so delicate and so complex that only its Maker can know it wholly. Each mind is so different, actuated by such different motives, controlled by such different circumstances, influenced by such different sufferings, you cannot know all the influences that have gone to make up a personality. Therefore, it is impossible for you to judge wholly that personality. But God knows that person wholly and He can change it. Leave to God the unraveling of the puzzles of personality. And leave it to God to teach you the proper understanding.

"Goodbye to my remnants, my justification, shards, and tendencies. This is not who I am—nor who I was created to be. Goodbye to shallow efforts, self-focus, and suspicious fears that I’ll never find victory in this area of my life. I am an unsettled woman who no longer wishes to take part in distractions or destructions. Welcome deeper love for God and the realization I am made for more than this constant battle. Welcome my unsettled heart."
~From Made to Crave

My Certified Health Coach Website

Recovery Meditations: May 12th

WORRY

Don't worry about the world coming to an end today.
It's already tomorrow in Australia.
Charles Schultz


Worry...that's a topic I'm really good at! Since working the Twelve Steps, however, I am beginning to see some things about worry that, hopefully, will soon make it a thing of the past in my life. After all, why should I worry? What has worry ever done for me, except mess up my life?

I am seeing that when I am worrying about something, I have not turned it over to my Higher Power, and I am continuing to act from my own self-will. Or, I did turn it over to my Higher Power, but didn't really trust Him to take care of it, and so I took it back!

I had a breakthrough, just a couple of days ago, concerning worry. I was concerned about a decision my husband and I had to make and it was so far beyond my ability to see into the future that I gave up and prayed for help. Somehow I let go and let God. Suddenly a beautiful stillness and peace came over me. I felt calmer than I had in years ... very calm and still and at peace. I felt completely reassured that God was handling my "decision" and that God was completely competent to do so.

One Day at a Time . . .
I abandon worry. I let go and let God, and enjoy the serenity and peace of trust in God.

~ Lynne T.

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 95% of what we worry about NEVER comes to pass!!!!!! Worrying is Blurrying......you can't stay focused on the NOW when you're consumed with worry about TOMORROW!

  For today, I agree to not worry about tomorrow or yesterday. When I woke up this morning, I           realized how today is a rebirth.........a brand new chance to be ALL that I can BE! A start-over........in every sense of the word.

   For today, I choose to put abstinence on the TOP of my list so that everything else falls into place             BECAUSE of it!

Meditation for the day: Turn out all thoughts of doubt and fear and resentment. Never tolerate them if you can help it. Bar the windows and doors of your mind against them, as you would bar your home against a thief who would steal in to take away your treasures. What greater treasures can you have than faith and courage and love? All these are stolen from you by doubt and fear and resentment. Face each day with peace and hope. They are results of true faith in God. Faith gives you a feeling of protection and safety that you can get in no other way.

My Certified Health Coach Website

Food for Thought: May 11th

Body Signals

When we were overeating compulsively, our bodies seemed to signal constant craving. Now that we are practicing a sane way of eating, we find that our bodies are more responsive to what we put into them.

We discover that we are more satisfied with small amounts of high quality food than we were with vast quantities of junk. Our bodies function better and we begin to hunger for wholesome, natural food rather than the refined sugars and starches we formerly craved.

Before, we never had enough. Now, we eat slowly and give our bodies time to signal cessation of hunger. We finish a meal feeling replete and energized, rather than overstuffed and sluggish. We wake up refreshed after fewer hours of sleep.

Now we can accept periods of hunger before meals as good, rather than something to be feared and avoided at all costs. There is no law against being hungry at times - it adds to the enjoyment of our meals. As our bodies become healthier, we experience them with greater awareness and pleasure.

Make me responsive to the signals of my body. 

From Food for Thought: Daily Meditations for Overeaters by Elisabeth L. ©1980, 1992 by Hazelden Foundation.

The Language of Letting Go

Perfection

Many of us picked on ourselves unmercifully before recovery. We may also have a tendency too pick on ourselves after we begin recovery.

If I was really recovering, I wouldn't be doing that again . . . I should be further along than I am. These are statements that we indulge in when we're feeling shame. We don't need to treat ourselves that way. There is no benefit.

Remember, shame blocks us. But self-love and acceptance enable us to grow and change. If we truly have done something we feel guilty about, we can correct it with an amend and an attitude of self-acceptance and love.

Even if we slip back to our old, codependent ways of thinking, feeling, and behaving, we do not need to be ashamed. We all regress from time to time. That's how we learn and grow. Relapse, or recycling, is an important and necessary part of recovery. And the way out of recycling is not by shaming ourselves. That leads us deeper into codependency.

Much pain comes from trying to be perfect. Perfection is impossible unless we think of it in a new way: Perfection is being who and where we are today; it's accepting and loving ourselves just as we are. We are each right where we need to be in our recovery.

Today, I will love and accept myself for who I am and where I am in my recovery process. I am right where I need to be to get to where I'm going tomorrow.

From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie ©1990, Hazelden Foundation.

Food for Thought: May 10th

Habits

Habit can work for us or against us. We have given up a set of eating habits, which were counterproductive, and we are learning new ones which will work to our benefit. Some of us require more time than others to make the shift.

Each time we act according to the old, destructive pattern, we reactivate those negative habits. We need to abandon them completely so that they will atrophy from disuse.

Each time we practice a constructive eating habit, we reinforce our new pattern. Writing out a food plan, weighing and measuring the food, eating slowly, and saying no thank you to seconds and binge foods are a few parts of the new pattern. When these actions become habitual, we do not have to think consciously about them, since we perform them automatically. Our mental efforts may then be devoted to something else.

Appetite is largely a function of habit. The more wrong foods we eat, the more wrong foods we want to eat. The longer we follow a healthy, sensible plan, the more it satisfies us.

Teach me to build constructive habits.

From Food for Thought: Daily Meditations for Overeaters by Elisabeth L. ©1980, 1992 by Hazelden Foundation.

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We have given up a set of eating habits............or have we? Do we make exceptions? Drive to the store and buy a bag of candy or some other trigger food, pretending it'll be 'just this once'? Then standing by to watch it happen over and over and OVER again?

If we do not abandon the destructive eating habits, they NEVER fade away, they just get stronger! Only when we abandon them completely do they atrophy from disuse.  Every time I wake up my taste buds with trigger foods, I set myself BACK and run the risk of not being able to recommit to my food plan.

Following the Medifast program for 8 months is what taught me to eat 6 small, healthy meals a day on a regular schedule.  Following that pattern enabled me to change my eating habits and to put my addiction into remission.  Now that I've been in maintenance for 4+ years, I've allowed some of the bad habits to resurface.  The more wrong foods I eat, the more wrong foods I WANT to eat!

The only way out is through: when I go back to an abstinent food plan is when I am at peace and not craving.  Only when I let the trigger foods out do I struggle.

For today, I will stick to my food plan 100% with no exceptions.  Today I will build constructive habits and not reinforce destructive habits.

My Certified Health Coach Website

Recovery Meditations: May 9th

The readings are SO profound today, that I am posting two of them!

OPEN MINDEDNESS

Let go of your attachment to being right,
and suddenly your mind is more open.
You're able to benefit from the unique viewpoints of others,
without being crippled by your own judgment.

Ralph Marston


Before joining this program much of my life was taken up with defending myself against those who would hurl abuse. I kept everything and everybody at arm's length in a bid to protect my increasingly fragile and sensitive self-assurance. As time marched on, and my disease became parasitical, the walls around me grew higher and isolation drew me inwards.

Ironically, the fortress I was building didn�t protect me from myself and I soon became my own worst enemy. My self-loathing and my unceasing search for perfection led me deeper into a self-induced state of depression. Keeping everybody out and locking myself in became an exhausting exercise.

On entering the 12 Step program I soon realized that the fortress I had so carefully built to protect myself against the outside world was also preventing any kind of light, warmth and love from entering in.

As my journey of recovery progressed, brick by brick the walls came down and afforded me the nourishment I needed to blossom and grow. In learning to accept myself, I found that what others thought of me paled into insignificance. I learned that there was a wealth of experience, strength and hope which would help me along the journey. I learned that I could take what I needed and put down the remainder, without the resentment, anger, fear or pain, which previously would have sent me running for cover.

One Day at a Time . . .
I aim to be willing to keep my mind open, to accept what I need to continue my journey, and to leave the rest.

~ Sue G ~

My Certified Health Coach Website

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 Food for Thought

Self-Pity

"Poor little ol' me." The PLOMS. How often do we succumb to this temptation? Usually it's an excuse for not doing what we know we should do, but do not want to do. Or it's a way to manipulate someone else into doing something for us, which we should be doing ourselves. If we spend our time moaning and groaning about how unfairly life is treating us, we do not have much chance of discovering the plan which our Higher Power has for us, nor are we able to carry out His will.

Trite as it may sound, the cure for self-pity is to think about those who are less fortunate and start counting our blessings. Taking some action, doing some small thing for someone else, perhaps a phone call - these are constructive steps to take us off the "pity pot."

When we begin to feel sorry for ourselves because we must follow a food plan and may not eat spontaneously, let's remember where we came from and what things were like before we found OA.

I don't need self-pity.

From Food for Thought: Daily Meditations for Overeaters by Elisabeth L. ©1980, 1992 by Hazelden Foundation.

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Who amongst us can't relate toThe PLOMS? Every day I hear people feeling sorry for themselves that they can't eat whatever they want and maintain a healthy weight.  In reality, 99% of human beings cannot eat whatever they want and stay healthy! Normal weight people calorie-balance without even realizing it, quite often, while others work HARD to stay healthy & fit.  Nuthins for nuthin.  Yet, a compulsive overeater will compare herself to the rest of the world and always come up short. Poor little old me.  Born under an 'unlucky star'.  Filled with excuses and manipulations, so busy feeling self pity that we are unable to get OUT of our own heads for long enough to take ACTION!

Good actions create good thoughts, not the other way around.

I can sit around feeling sorry for myself all day long, even feeling justified in doing so, and STILL it will not change my situation!

Only I can change my situation, with God's help, and that is what I choose to DO, one day at a time, one meal at a time.