Be Who You Are
When I meet people or get in a new
relationship, I start putting all these repressive restrictions on
myself. I can't have my feelings. Can't have my wants and needs. Can't
have my history. Can't do the things I want, feel the feelings I'm
feeling, or say what I need to say. I turn into this repressed,
perfectionistic robot, instead of being who I am: Me.
—Anonymous
Sometimes, our instinctive reaction to being in a new situation is: Don't be yourself.
Who else can we be? Who else would you want to be? We don't need to be anyone else.
The greatest gift we can bring to any relationship wherever we go is being who we are.
We may think others won't like us. We may be afraid that if we just relax and be ourselves, the other person will go away or shame us. We may worry about what the other person will think.
But, when we relax and accept ourselves, people often feel much better being around us than when we are rigid and repressed. We're fun to be around.
If others don't appreciate us, do we really want to be around them? Do we need to let the opinions of others control our behavior and us?
Giving ourselves permission to be who we are can have a healing influence on our relationships. The tone relaxes. We relax. The other person relaxes. Then everybody feels a little less shame, because they have learned the truth. Who we are is all we can be, all were meant to be, and it's enough. It's fine.
Our opinion of ourselves is truly all that matters. And we can give ourselves all the approval we want and need.
Today, I will relax and be who I am in my relationships. I will do this not in a demeaning or inappropriate way, but in a way that shows I accept myself and value who I am. Help me, God, let go of my fears about being myself.
From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie
©1990, Hazelden Foundation.—Anonymous
Sometimes, our instinctive reaction to being in a new situation is: Don't be yourself.
Who else can we be? Who else would you want to be? We don't need to be anyone else.
The greatest gift we can bring to any relationship wherever we go is being who we are.
We may think others won't like us. We may be afraid that if we just relax and be ourselves, the other person will go away or shame us. We may worry about what the other person will think.
But, when we relax and accept ourselves, people often feel much better being around us than when we are rigid and repressed. We're fun to be around.
If others don't appreciate us, do we really want to be around them? Do we need to let the opinions of others control our behavior and us?
Giving ourselves permission to be who we are can have a healing influence on our relationships. The tone relaxes. We relax. The other person relaxes. Then everybody feels a little less shame, because they have learned the truth. Who we are is all we can be, all were meant to be, and it's enough. It's fine.
Our opinion of ourselves is truly all that matters. And we can give ourselves all the approval we want and need.
Today, I will relax and be who I am in my relationships. I will do this not in a demeaning or inappropriate way, but in a way that shows I accept myself and value who I am. Help me, God, let go of my fears about being myself.
**********************************************************
As the old AA saw says, other people's opinion of me is none of my business.
I grew up worried about what others thought of me. That being ME just wasn't good enough...........that I was somehow 'lesser than'.........inferior.............that if I held myself up to someone else, I'd come up short. Why I compared myself to others is an interesting question.
If I have to put a phony face on in order to be accepted, then it's ok NOT to be 'accepted'. I am good enough. It is ok to BE myself, no matter what, in any situation I find myself in.
For today, I give myself permission to be who I am. I will relax, accept & value myself for who I am.
For today, I pray to let go of my fears of inadequacy. I pray to believe that I am enough.
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