Recovery Meditations: March 30th

DISLOYALTY

"“Health is the greatest gift,
contentment the greatest wealth,
faithfulness the best relationship.”
..... Buddah


I have a history of chaotic relationships filled with destructive drama and a lack of loyalty. For many years, however, I believed that I was in fact a very loyal friend – and that it was my friends who were disloyal to me.

I was an avid -- even rabid -- people-pleaser. I drove myself crazy trying to figure out what people wanted and how I could best provide that for them. Because I thought I knew what was best for everybody, I failed to truly listen to the people in my life. Instead, I tried to impose my will upon them…then I wondered why they didn’t appreciate all of my efforts on “their” behalf. When they inevitably became frustrated with me, I was wounded by what I perceived to be their lack of loyalty to me.

Only recently in my recovery program have I come to learn that my efforts at people-pleasing were actually symptoms of my own disloyalty. I was failing to relate with people as they are – rather I was relating to them as I thought they “should be”. That is perhaps the most egregious form of disloyalty…insisting that others be loyal to my concept of them and myself.

Now I am taking steps to honestly listen to people and to relate with them as they are – and as I truly am. I am no longer hiding behind food. In order to be loyal in my relationships, I must be loyal to the ‘Truth of Reality.’ Only then can we share the joy of faithful relationships.

One day at a time ... I will practice listening to the people in my life and I will honor them as they are. Each day I can choose to be loyal, rather than critical or people-pleasing.

~ Lisa

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What a profound reading!!!!  It's the COE twisted thinking that drives us to think we know what's best for others........that OUR way is the 'right' way! Um, if I know so darn much, then how come I've managed to screw up my OWN life to this degree? I know what's best for YOU, but am clueless about what's best for me?

Give. Me. A. Break.

Compulsive overeating is a disease of the soul, not the body. It's twisted & delusional thinking that drives us to overeat..........not ravenous appetites or being 'gluttons'.  It's the attempt to rule the world, and please ALL of the people ALL of the time, that keeps us miserable and dissatisfied! When all of our 'efforts' fall on deaf ears, we turn around and blame OTHERS for THEIR lack of loyalty, instead of OURSELVES for pushing OUR way down THEIR throats!!! Tsk tsk, if only she'd listened to ME.

Hah!

For today, I am going to mind my own business. I am going to reserve ALL of my judgments and not say ONE negative thing about anybody or anything. I am going to shut my MOUTH and open my EARS. For today, I am going to remember that my opinions are not 'facts'.  For today, I am not going to fantasize about the future, or lament the past, remembering old wounds and reopening them for examination. The past is GONE, the future isn't here yet, so all I truly HAVE is NOW.

God, please help me to revel in the beauty of the moment.