Food for Thought: November 9th

Where's the Party?

Most of us have early memories of birthday parties - our own and those of other children - and as compulsive overeaters, we probably remember the food more than anything else. For as long as we can recollect, parties have meant eating and drinking. The better and more abundant the food and drink, the better the party; or so we thought.

Maintaining abstinence means that we will attend parties where we do not eat and drink, if what is available is not on our food plan. In order to do this with serenity and enjoyment, we need to redefine our idea of a party. It is no celebration if we break our abstinence and go back to compulsive overeating.

Through this program, we come to see that a party is something more than an occasion for eating and drinking. Enjoying ourselves with other people requires goodwill, mutual attraction, and the effort to communicate with and affirm each other. If these elements are present, there will be a party whether or not there is anything to eat or drink. If these elements are absent, no amount of refreshments will ensure a good time.

Thank You for fun.

From Food for Thought: Daily Meditations for Overeaters by Elisabeth L. ©1980, 1992 by Hazelden Foundation.

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To me, a party meant I was allowed to eat & drink to my heart's content without feeling guilty.  The better & more abundant the food & drink, the better the party..........that's exactly how I felt. I used to worry that there wouldn't be enough, in fact! 

 

Once I decided to commit myself to abstinence, parties no longer felt like 'fun.' I had to redefine my idea of fun, and learn to focus on people rather than food or drink.  In reality, celebrations aren't about food anyway, but habit tells me they ARE.  What is a birthday without a cake? Christmas without 23 varieties of cookies? What good is going out to dinner without appetizers, drinks & desserts?

 

Learning to refocus myself away from the food & drink took a lot of time & patience.  I am now able to attend any celebration without drinking or overeating, and I know how to eat NOTHING, if need be, in order to preserve my abstinence.  It's not always easy, and sometimes it still feels like no fun at all.  Sometimes my inner brat stamps her feet & throws a hissy fit because SHE wants to be normal and have 'fun' like everyone else is.  But for me, taking that first 'normal' bite or that first 'normal' sip of a drink will lead me back down the road to sheer insanity. 

"Normal" is my pre-determined Food Plan, and for today, I pray to FEEL normal! And if I don't, I pray to avoid feeling self-pity and instead, be thankful for all the blessings OF abstinence.