Recovery
Meditations: December 6th
~ FORGIVENESS ~
We realized that the
people who wronged us were spiritually sick.
When a person offended
we said to ourselves,
"This is a sick
man. How can I be helpful to him?
God save me from being
angry. Thy will be done."
Big Book of Alcoholics
Anonymous
This has been one of the most important paragraphs for me in
recovery. I have used it for any type of hurt I have in reaction to another
person. Besides my asking God to save me from anger, I ask God to heal all
feelings I have toward that person that block me from having a closer
relationship with the God of my understanding. For me, this has meant I have
had to learn to forgive everyone who my thinking told me had injured me in some
way. I was unable to do this no matter how hard I tried. I prayed to the God of
my understanding to teach me how to forgive those others and to work with my
heart to create that forgiveness. It involved a long process of discovering my
part and the other's part; separating acts from people.
Once I had done this work and knew in my heart that God had
given me the miracle to forgive these people, an interesting thing happened.
During Step Four and Five work, my sponsor told me I also had to forgive
myself. I discovered, by going through this process, that working through the
anger and pain, I ended up also having forgiven myself. For me, it wasn't
enough to tell another person all my Fourth Step. I had to feel the feelings in
my heart and give them to God to heal. Then, after I truly forgave others I
could forgive myself. I wasn't able to forgive myself until I gave it away to
others.
One Day at a Time . .
.
I will remember that
God will help me in anything I ask, the answer just may be different than I
expected. When the miracle occurs I will be able to see God's hand in it.
Judy A.
*******************************************************
Each Day A New Beginning
—Ruth P. Freedman
We are guaranteed experiences that are absolutely right for us today. We are progressing on schedule. Even when our personal hopes are unmet, we are given the necessary opportunities for achieving those goals that complement our unique destinies.
Today is full of special surprises, and we will be the recipient of the ones which are sent to help us grow - in all the ways necessary for our continued recovery. We might not consider every experience a gift at this time. But hindsight will offer the clarity lacking at the moment, just as it has done in many instances that have gone before.
We are only offered part of our personal drama
each day. But we can trust our lives to have many scenes, many acts,
points of climax, and a conclusion. Each of us tells a story with our
lives, one different from all other stories and yet necessary to the
telling of many other stories too. The days ahead will help us tell our
story. Our interactions with others will influence our outcomes and
theirs. We can trust the drama and give fully to our roles.
Every day is a gift exchange. I give, and I will receive.
Every day is a gift exchange. I give, and I will receive.
From Each Day
a New Beginning: Daily Meditations for Women by Karen Casey © 1982,
1991 by Hazelden Foundation.
Food For Thought
If we do only what feels good and what is comfortable, we do not grow. If we do not stretch our minds, we vegetate intellectually. If we do not discipline our bodies, we become physically flabby and weak. If we do not exercise our goodwill, we stay emotionally immature.
To settle for minimum achievement is to miss the satisfaction of accomplishing more than we once thought possible. It is trite but true that we never know what we can do until we try. Abstaining from all refined sugars and carbohydrates may have seemed impossible to us at one time. Accomplishing this, through the help of our Higher Power and OA, makes possible other achievements that we formerly may have considered to be beyond our reach.
In this program, the only way we can fail is by not continuing to try. By abstaining from compulsive overeating and working the Twelve Steps, we can stretch ourselves to a fuller extent of our physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual potential.
May I not be too lazy to stretch as far as I can.
From Food for
Thought: Daily Meditations for Overeaters by Elisabeth L. ©1980, 1992
by Hazelden Foundation.
The Language of Letting Go
Many of us were victimized, sometimes more than once. We may have been physically abused, sexually abused, or exploited by the addictions of another.
Understand that if another person has abused us, it is not cause for us to feel shame. The guilt for the act of abuse belongs to the perpetrator, not the victim.
Even if in recovery we fall prey to being victimized, that is not cause for shame.
The goal of recovery is learning self-care, learning to free ourselves from victimization, and not to blame ourselves for past experiences. The goal is to arm ourselves so we do not continue to be victimized due to the shame and unresolved feelings from the original victimization.
We each have our own work, our issues, and our recovery tasks. One of those tasks is to stop pointing our finger at the perpetrator, because it distracts us. Although we hold each person responsible and accountable for his or her behavior, we learn compassion for the perpetrator. We understand that many forces have come into play in that person's life. At the same time, we do not hold on to shame.
We learn to understand the role we played in our victimization, how we fell into that role and did not rescue ourselves. But that is information to arm us so that it need not happen again.
Let go of victim shame. We have issues and tasks, but our issue is not to feel guilty and wrong because we have been victimized.
Today, I will set myself free from any victim shame I may be harboring or hanging on to.
From The
Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie ©1990, Hazelden Foundation.
Today's thought from the Hazelden Betty Ford Foundation is:
Sometimes two minuses make a plus.
--Edith Shannon
What appears to be a problem sometimes turns out to be a most beneficial circumstance. We live only in the present, and it generally takes the perspective of hindsight to get the full meaning of an event. Over the years, we have learned that some of our best lessons actually caused us pain while we were in their clutches. What a relief to be able to see, now, that they had their silver lining. This principle still holds true.
We have had a lot of years to learn to take our experiences in stride, giving them no more weight than they deserve. But it's easy to forget that it's the accumulation of them all that defines who we are. The lost jobs, the friends who left, the hurdles in a marriage all played their part in the people we've become today. We are who we need to be right now.
I can't let a setback set me back today. I am evolving right on schedule.
Sometimes two minuses make a plus.
--Edith Shannon
What appears to be a problem sometimes turns out to be a most beneficial circumstance. We live only in the present, and it generally takes the perspective of hindsight to get the full meaning of an event. Over the years, we have learned that some of our best lessons actually caused us pain while we were in their clutches. What a relief to be able to see, now, that they had their silver lining. This principle still holds true.
We have had a lot of years to learn to take our experiences in stride, giving them no more weight than they deserve. But it's easy to forget that it's the accumulation of them all that defines who we are. The lost jobs, the friends who left, the hurdles in a marriage all played their part in the people we've become today. We are who we need to be right now.
I can't let a setback set me back today. I am evolving right on schedule.
You are reading from the book:
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