Recovery
Meditations: December 7th
~ CHANGE ~
If we don't change, we
don't grow.
If we don't grow, we
are not really living.
Gail Sheehy
Throughout my life, I have been terrified of change. To me,
change meant abandoning one set of experiences which, although adverse, were at
least familiar. I thought I'd be replacing them with another set of experiences
which would surely be at least as bad, and which had the additional
disadvantage of being unknown.
In this program, I was appalled to see a whole room of
people who spoke enthusiastically, joyfully, about the changes that the program
was bringing to their lives --not just in terms of released weight, but in so
many areas of day-to-day living. Panic-stricken at the idea that I, too, would
change, I talked about it after the first meeting with a dear friend.
"Hey," she smiled. "No one's forcing you. If
changing gets too scary, you can always decide you want to stay put."
Armed with that slight reassurance, I decided I would go
with the program until it got too scary.
In the course of the next weeks, as I maintained strict
abstinence and began to work the Steps, strange things began to happen,
imperceptibly at first. I found myself looking forward to getting up in the
morning and adding all kinds of things to my morning ritual: body lotion, foot
care, cosmetics. Amazingly, my life-long habit of nail-biting disappeared, and
my nails are not only well-tended, but polished!
On the professional level, I started keeping a list of
projects due, instead of relying on my sketchy memory. I hired someone to
answer phones and to help keep my eternally messy desk more or less clear. Most
important, I have started an honest reassessment of my relationship with my
life partner, and have decided that it's not enough that this is the first
relationship of my life that is free of physical abuse; I deserve to be loved
and desired, and to have that love and desire expressed.
At a face-to-face program meeting this week, I read the
Promises. I was amazed to hear a strong, confident voice--mine--saying
"Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change," and I
realized that I was changing. I love it!
One Day at a Time . .
.
I will welcome
change, for change is growth, and I will know that, now that I have placed my
life in the hands of my Higher Power, any change will be for the better.
Sharon N.
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Each Day A New Beginning
—Frances Marion
The resolve to fulfill commitments we make to ourselves and others may be lacking until we learn to rely on the wisdom and strength offered by our higher power - strength that will make us confident in any situation; wisdom that will insure our right actions. What is difficult alone is always eased in partnership.
We promise ourselves changed behavior, new habits, perhaps, or a positive attitude. But then we proceed to focus on our liabilities, giving them even more power, a greater hold over us. We can practice our assets, and they'll foster the promises we want to keep.
No longer need we shame ourselves about unfulfilled promises. Whatever our desires, whatever our commitments, if for the good of others and ourselves, they will come to fruition. We can ask for direction. We can ask for resolve, and each worthy hope and unrealized promise will become reality.
My assets, when strengthened through use, pave the way for God's help. Any promise can bear fruit when I make it in partnership with God.
From Each Day
a New Beginning: Daily Meditations for Women by Karen Casey © 1982,
1991 by Hazelden Foundation.
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Food For Thought
Compulsive overeating is a permanent disability. We do not look forward to becoming normal eaters at some point in the future. Until we accept the fact that our illness is irreversible, we do not learn how to control it.
We have all tried innumerable methods of regaining the ability to eat normally and spontaneously. Perhaps the most common delusion was believing that once we were thin enough we would be able to eat whatever and however we pleased. We may have thought that if only we could straighten out our interpersonal relationships and arrange circumstances to suit us, then we would no longer be plagued by compulsive overeating.
When I accept the fact that I am and always will be a compulsive overeater, no matter what my weight or how ideal my situation, I accept reality. I will have to live with this disease and control it, with the help of my Higher Power and OA, for the rest of my life. Abstinence is not a temporary cure for my illness, but a permanent method of control.
May I understand the full extent of my disability.
From Food for Thought: Daily Meditations for Overeaters by Elisabeth L. ©1980, 1992 by Hazelden Foundation.
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The Language of Letting Go
There are times when we simply do not know what to do, or where to go, next. Sometimes these periods are brief, sometimes lingering.
We can get through these times. We can rely on our program and the disciplines of recovery. We can cope by using our faith, other people, and our resources.
Accept uncertainty. We do not always have to know what to do or where to go next. We do not always have clear direction. Refusing to accept the inaction and limbo makes things worse.
It is okay to temporarily be without direction. Say, "I don't know," and be comfortable with that. We do not have to try to force wisdom, knowledge, or clarity when there is none.
While waiting for direction, we do not have to put our life on hold. Let go of anxiety and enjoy life. Relax. Do something fun. Enjoy the love and beauty in your life. Accomplish small tasks. They may have nothing to do with solving the problem, or finding direction, but this is what we can do in the interim.
Clarity will come. The next step will present itself. Indecision, inactivity, and lack of direction will not last forever.
Today, I will accept my circumstances even if I lack direction and insight. I will remember to do things that make myself and others feel good during those times. I will trust that clarity will come of its own accord.
Today's thought from the Hazelden Betty Ford Foundation is:
Serenity
Your body is tense. Your face is somber and serious, ready to deliver the news. You may be slightly breathless. There's a crisis. It may be real. Or it may be self-created.
Like an audience in a sports arena, we watch the events of life or even The Weather Channel drumming up reactive responses. Fear. Sometimes panic. Oh my God, what if.
I called my daughter in this frame of mind one morning, ready to report on the latest current event in my life. I barely had three words out of my mouth when she interrupted me. "You're talking in your drama-addiction tone."
"God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference." I've probably said this prayer out loud a thousand times, and silently twice that amount. It's called the Serenity Prayer, not the Courage Prayer, not the Wisdom Prayer. That is because, no matter what we're doing, before we receive courage or wisdom, serenity needs to come first.
You are reading from the book:
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