Recovery
Meditations: November 4th
~ FOCUS ON OTHERS ~
I had the blues
because I had no shoes
until upon the street
I met a man who had no feet.
Denis Waitely
I find that when I am stuck or feeling sorry for myself I
just need to reach out and help someone who is worse off than me. When I pray
for someone to help, someone always shows up. This past weekend I was feeling
sorry for myself. I went to church and prayed for God to bring someone for me
to help. Alas, as I walked in to school this morning I was greeted by a tearful
friend whose husband was just diagnosed with lung cancer. I hugged her and told
her I was there for her. It took the focus off of ME and I was able to help
someone else feel better.
One day at a time . .
.
Allow me to be of
service to others. I need them as much as they need me.
Sue
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Each Day A New Beginning
Beginnings are apt to be shadowy.
—Rachel Carson
When we embark on a new career, open an unfamiliar door, begin a loving relationship, we can seldom see nor can we even anticipate where the experience may take us. At best we can see only what this day brings. We can trust with certainty that we will be safely led through the "shadows."
To make gains in this life we must venture forth to new places, contact new people, chance new experiences. Even though we may be fearful of the new, we must go forward. It's comforting to remember that we never take any step alone. It is our destiny to experience many new beginnings. And a dimension of the growth process is to develop trust that each of these experiences will in time comfort us and offer us the knowledge our inner self awaits. Without the new beginnings we are unable to fulfill the purpose for which we've been created.
No new beginning is more than we can handle. Every new beginning is needed by our developing selves, and we are ready for whatever comes.
I will look to my new beginnings gladly. They are special to the growth I am now ready for.
—Rachel Carson
When we embark on a new career, open an unfamiliar door, begin a loving relationship, we can seldom see nor can we even anticipate where the experience may take us. At best we can see only what this day brings. We can trust with certainty that we will be safely led through the "shadows."
To make gains in this life we must venture forth to new places, contact new people, chance new experiences. Even though we may be fearful of the new, we must go forward. It's comforting to remember that we never take any step alone. It is our destiny to experience many new beginnings. And a dimension of the growth process is to develop trust that each of these experiences will in time comfort us and offer us the knowledge our inner self awaits. Without the new beginnings we are unable to fulfill the purpose for which we've been created.
No new beginning is more than we can handle. Every new beginning is needed by our developing selves, and we are ready for whatever comes.
I will look to my new beginnings gladly. They are special to the growth I am now ready for.
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Food For Thought
How Much Is Enough?
We continue to weigh and measure our food when we are maintaining as well as when we are losing. Since we are compulsive overeaters, we do not have a built in concept of how much food is enough. Exact measurements relieve us of the anxiety of deciding how much is enough. Since we are experts at rationalizing extra amounts, we do not allow ourselves to estimate portions when scales and measuring cups are available.
For the compulsive overeater, no amount of food is enough. We make a rational decision about our food plan for the day, basing the decision on the objective nutritional requirements of our body rather than subjective emotional cravings. We give this food plan to a qualified sponsor, which prevents us from getting lost in endless preoccupation and anxiety about what we are going to eat.
When we conscientiously follow the abstinence guidelines, we can rest secure in the knowledge that we have eaten the right amount of food.
May I be satisfied with enough.
We continue to weigh and measure our food when we are maintaining as well as when we are losing. Since we are compulsive overeaters, we do not have a built in concept of how much food is enough. Exact measurements relieve us of the anxiety of deciding how much is enough. Since we are experts at rationalizing extra amounts, we do not allow ourselves to estimate portions when scales and measuring cups are available.
For the compulsive overeater, no amount of food is enough. We make a rational decision about our food plan for the day, basing the decision on the objective nutritional requirements of our body rather than subjective emotional cravings. We give this food plan to a qualified sponsor, which prevents us from getting lost in endless preoccupation and anxiety about what we are going to eat.
When we conscientiously follow the abstinence guidelines, we can rest secure in the knowledge that we have eaten the right amount of food.
May I be satisfied with enough.
From Food for Thought: Daily Meditations for Overeaters by Elisabeth L. ©1980, 1992 by Hazelden Foundation.
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The Language of Letting Go
Anger
Feeling angry - and, sometimes, the act of blaming - is a natural and necessary part of accepting loss and change - of grieving. We can allow ourselves and others to become angry as we move from denial toward acceptance.
As we come to terms with loss and change, we may blame our higher Power, others, or ourselves. The person may be connected to the loss, or he or she may be an innocent bystander. We may hear ourselves say: "If only he would have done that... If I wouldn't have done that... Why didn't God do it differently?"... We know that blame doesn't help. In recovery, the watchwords are self-responsibility and personal accountability, not blame. Ultimately, surrender and self-responsibility are the only concepts that can move us forward, but to get there we may need to allow ourselves to feel angry and to occasionally indulge in some blaming.
It is helpful, in dealing with others, to remember that they, too, may need to go through their angry stage to achieve acceptance. To not allow others, or ourselves, to go through anger and blame may slow down the grief process.
Trust the grief process and ourselves. We won't stay angry forever. But we may need to get mad for a while as we search over what could have been, to finally accept what is.
God, help me learn to accept my own and others' anger as a normal part of achieving acceptance and peace. Within that framework, help me strive for personal accountability.
Feeling angry - and, sometimes, the act of blaming - is a natural and necessary part of accepting loss and change - of grieving. We can allow ourselves and others to become angry as we move from denial toward acceptance.
As we come to terms with loss and change, we may blame our higher Power, others, or ourselves. The person may be connected to the loss, or he or she may be an innocent bystander. We may hear ourselves say: "If only he would have done that... If I wouldn't have done that... Why didn't God do it differently?"... We know that blame doesn't help. In recovery, the watchwords are self-responsibility and personal accountability, not blame. Ultimately, surrender and self-responsibility are the only concepts that can move us forward, but to get there we may need to allow ourselves to feel angry and to occasionally indulge in some blaming.
It is helpful, in dealing with others, to remember that they, too, may need to go through their angry stage to achieve acceptance. To not allow others, or ourselves, to go through anger and blame may slow down the grief process.
Trust the grief process and ourselves. We won't stay angry forever. But we may need to get mad for a while as we search over what could have been, to finally accept what is.
God, help me learn to accept my own and others' anger as a normal part of achieving acceptance and peace. Within that framework, help me strive for personal accountability.
From The
Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie ©1990, Hazelden Foundation.
Today's thought from the Hazelden Betty Ford Foundation is:
Angels Are Everywhere
I never believed in angels. Now I do. I think of angels as people who do nice things for us without expecting much in return. They give for the love of giving. They seek out opportunities to help, even when it seems inconvenient. They don't always look like we expect them to look or smell like we think they should. Their beliefs aren't always aligned with ours. But when we need them, they are there.
One of the first times I really understood their concept was when I drove to New York from Las Vegas in 1982. There I was, thrust into a big world I had never known except in geography schoolbooks. I was terrified but willing to make the drive. This cross-country trip was to become a metaphor for the bigger journey in my life.
Angels were everywhere. I met them in gas stations and rest stops, on the highway, in hotels, at restaurants, and at every meeting place I stopped along the way. From Flagstaff, Arizona to Albuquerque, New Mexico; from Joplin, Missouri to Chicago, Illinois and then on to New York. Their support was unfailing. Because of them, I got from one city to another. Because of them, I completed my journey. My job was simply to show up; they did the rest.
When was the last time you recognized an angel? Perhaps they let your car pass into the next lane without giving you a dirty look. Perhaps they offered to assist you when you were overloaded with bags. Perhaps they gave you their seat on the subway or the bus. Maybe they gave you a gift they knew you'd like. Perhaps they loaned you some money, bought clothes or toys for your kids when you couldn't, or just lent a helping hand in whatever way they could. Or maybe it was a friend who just stopped in the middle of a busy workday to take your call or meet with you for coffee or lunch. An angel can be someone you know or someone you meet in passing. Angels enhance your life, if even for a moment.
You're invited to recognize and acknowledge the angels in your life, people who have contributed to your life in big and small ways.
Angels Are Everywhere
I never believed in angels. Now I do. I think of angels as people who do nice things for us without expecting much in return. They give for the love of giving. They seek out opportunities to help, even when it seems inconvenient. They don't always look like we expect them to look or smell like we think they should. Their beliefs aren't always aligned with ours. But when we need them, they are there.
One of the first times I really understood their concept was when I drove to New York from Las Vegas in 1982. There I was, thrust into a big world I had never known except in geography schoolbooks. I was terrified but willing to make the drive. This cross-country trip was to become a metaphor for the bigger journey in my life.
Angels were everywhere. I met them in gas stations and rest stops, on the highway, in hotels, at restaurants, and at every meeting place I stopped along the way. From Flagstaff, Arizona to Albuquerque, New Mexico; from Joplin, Missouri to Chicago, Illinois and then on to New York. Their support was unfailing. Because of them, I got from one city to another. Because of them, I completed my journey. My job was simply to show up; they did the rest.
When was the last time you recognized an angel? Perhaps they let your car pass into the next lane without giving you a dirty look. Perhaps they offered to assist you when you were overloaded with bags. Perhaps they gave you their seat on the subway or the bus. Maybe they gave you a gift they knew you'd like. Perhaps they loaned you some money, bought clothes or toys for your kids when you couldn't, or just lent a helping hand in whatever way they could. Or maybe it was a friend who just stopped in the middle of a busy workday to take your call or meet with you for coffee or lunch. An angel can be someone you know or someone you meet in passing. Angels enhance your life, if even for a moment.
You're invited to recognize and acknowledge the angels in your life, people who have contributed to your life in big and small ways.
You are reading from the book:
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