Recovery
Meditations: June 9th
PROMISES
"Experience is
simply the name we give our mistakes."
Oscar Wilde
Before program, I would dwell in my mistakes. Experience,
feh! I was all about self-abuse and feeling rotten about mistakes. My mistakes
would certainly lead to overeating, since there was no other option in my mind.
Even with years of therapy – with the same therapist – I still used eating as a
soothing tool for those times when the mistake was enough to send me into a
tailspin. Time and time again people would tell me I was too hard on myself, or
that I should just relax and smile. Another mistake for me to internalize -- I
couldn't even make a mistake right. I wonder now if I sometimes looked for
things to call mistakes so I’d have a reason to feel as rotten as I did most of
the time. Having been abused as a child wasn't enough, blaming other people for
my pain never satiated me.
In my first OA meeting, I heard the promises and I started
to feel something melt away. Some of the shame and self-pity evaporated into
the room of men and women who also felt this lack of satisfaction. A room of
men and women loved me because I struggled with the same addictive behaviors. I
don't think I'd ever been loved for my weakness, and there is something
powerful in that. When I make a mistake, I can think about my friends in OA who
tell me that there is no wrong way, just another way.
One day at a time...
I can know that there
are people who love me because I share in their weakness, and I can read the
promises to realize that recovery is possible.
~ AJ
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Each Day a New Beginning
Many of us achieve only the semblance
of communication with others; what we say is often not contingent on
what the other has just said, and neither of us is aware that we are not
communicating.
—Desy Safan-Gerard
When we don't listen fully to each other, when we don't revere the Spirit within others that's trying to talk to us, we destroy the connection that wants to be made between our Spirits. Our inner selves have messages to give and messages to receive for the good of all. Our ego selves often keep us from hearing the very words that would unravel a problem in our lives.
How hard it is, how often, to be still and to fully listen to the words, rather than the person. How much more familiar it is to filter the message with our own ongoing inner dialogue-our own ongoing continual assessment of another's personhood at the very time our higher power is trying to reach us through them.
There really are no wasted words. Messages are everywhere. We can learn to listen.
I will hear just what I need to hear today. I will open myself fully to the words.
—Desy Safan-Gerard
When we don't listen fully to each other, when we don't revere the Spirit within others that's trying to talk to us, we destroy the connection that wants to be made between our Spirits. Our inner selves have messages to give and messages to receive for the good of all. Our ego selves often keep us from hearing the very words that would unravel a problem in our lives.
How hard it is, how often, to be still and to fully listen to the words, rather than the person. How much more familiar it is to filter the message with our own ongoing inner dialogue-our own ongoing continual assessment of another's personhood at the very time our higher power is trying to reach us through them.
There really are no wasted words. Messages are everywhere. We can learn to listen.
I will hear just what I need to hear today. I will open myself fully to the words.
From Each Day a New Beginning: Daily Meditations for Women by Karen Casey
© 1982, 1991 by Hazelden Foundation.
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Food for Thought
Greedy Thinking, Greedy Eating
Contentment comes from being satisfied with what we have. Since "bread" is a symbol for material things, it is easy to use food as a substitute for the money and possessions we may avidly desire. Overeating can be a form of compensation for the enticing worldly wealth, which seems so attractive, yet is out of our grasp.
When we desire abstinence more than we desire material things, we are able to maintain it. When we allow material cares and concerns to obscure our spiritual goals, then our abstinence is in danger! Each of us is confronted with the choice of striving to satisfy physical cravings or working toward spiritual ideals. We cannot serve two masters.
We may have thought that we could get rid of our greed for food and continue to indulge our greed for other material things. Our Higher Power does not work that way. He demands nothing less than complete allegiance.
May I serve You without reservations.
Contentment comes from being satisfied with what we have. Since "bread" is a symbol for material things, it is easy to use food as a substitute for the money and possessions we may avidly desire. Overeating can be a form of compensation for the enticing worldly wealth, which seems so attractive, yet is out of our grasp.
When we desire abstinence more than we desire material things, we are able to maintain it. When we allow material cares and concerns to obscure our spiritual goals, then our abstinence is in danger! Each of us is confronted with the choice of striving to satisfy physical cravings or working toward spiritual ideals. We cannot serve two masters.
We may have thought that we could get rid of our greed for food and continue to indulge our greed for other material things. Our Higher Power does not work that way. He demands nothing less than complete allegiance.
May I serve You without reservations.
From Food for Thought: Daily Meditations for Overeaters by Elisabeth L.
©1980, 1992 by Hazelden Foundation.
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The Language of Letting Go
Panic
Few situations - no matter how greatly they appear to demand it - can be bettered by us going berserk.
—Codependent No More
Don't panic!
If a swimmer was crossing a great lake, then suddenly focused too heavily on the distance remaining, he might start to flounder and go under - not because he couldn't swim, but because he became overwhelmed by panic.
Panic, not the task, is the enemy.
Many of us have moments when we feel crowded and overwhelmed. We have times when we feel like we cannot possibly accomplish all that needs to be done.
We may be facing a task at work, an improvement in ourselves, or change in our family life.
For a moment, it is helpful to look forward and envision the project. It is normal, when we look ahead at what needs to be done, to have moments of panic. Feel the fear, then let it go. Take our eyes off the future and the enormity of the task. If we have envisioned the goal, it will be ours. We do not have to do everything today, or at once.
Focus on today. Focus on the belief that all is well. All we need to do to reach our goal is to focus on what presents itself naturally, and in an orderly way, to us today. We shall be empowered to accomplish, peacefully, what we need to get where we want to be tomorrow.
Panic will stop this process. Trust and guided action will further it. Breathe deeply. Get peaceful. Trust. Act as guided, today.
We can get back on track by treading water until we regain our composure. Once we feel peaceful, we can begin swimming again, with confidence. Keep the focus simple, on one stroke, one movement at a time. If we can make one movement, we have progressed. If we get tired, we can float -- but only if we are relaxed. Before we know it, we shall reach the shore.
Today, I will believe that all is well. I am being led, but I shall only be led one day at a time. I will focus my energy on living this day to the best of my ability. If panic arises, I will stop all activity and deal with panic as a separate issue.
Few situations - no matter how greatly they appear to demand it - can be bettered by us going berserk.
—Codependent No More
Don't panic!
If a swimmer was crossing a great lake, then suddenly focused too heavily on the distance remaining, he might start to flounder and go under - not because he couldn't swim, but because he became overwhelmed by panic.
Panic, not the task, is the enemy.
Many of us have moments when we feel crowded and overwhelmed. We have times when we feel like we cannot possibly accomplish all that needs to be done.
We may be facing a task at work, an improvement in ourselves, or change in our family life.
For a moment, it is helpful to look forward and envision the project. It is normal, when we look ahead at what needs to be done, to have moments of panic. Feel the fear, then let it go. Take our eyes off the future and the enormity of the task. If we have envisioned the goal, it will be ours. We do not have to do everything today, or at once.
Focus on today. Focus on the belief that all is well. All we need to do to reach our goal is to focus on what presents itself naturally, and in an orderly way, to us today. We shall be empowered to accomplish, peacefully, what we need to get where we want to be tomorrow.
Panic will stop this process. Trust and guided action will further it. Breathe deeply. Get peaceful. Trust. Act as guided, today.
We can get back on track by treading water until we regain our composure. Once we feel peaceful, we can begin swimming again, with confidence. Keep the focus simple, on one stroke, one movement at a time. If we can make one movement, we have progressed. If we get tired, we can float -- but only if we are relaxed. Before we know it, we shall reach the shore.
Today, I will believe that all is well. I am being led, but I shall only be led one day at a time. I will focus my energy on living this day to the best of my ability. If panic arises, I will stop all activity and deal with panic as a separate issue.
From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie
©1990, Hazelden Foundation.
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Today's thought from Hazelden Betty Ford Foundation is:
Attitudes and Limitations
What we consider our greatest strengths can also be our greatest weaknesses.
Excessive pride in "being able to handle everything," for example, may result in our taking on other people's responsibilities. In "taking over," we often lessen another's desire to meet his or her own obligations.
A boastful "I'll do it myself!" attitude can also mask a desperate feeling of inadequacy. Having a constant drive to prove our worth to others, we may trample on, or ignore, the needs of those around us who are just as eager to exhibit their competency and worth.
What are some other examples of virtues becoming vices?
Determination, to excess, becomes obstinacy and stubbornness. Honesty, when misdirected, is synonymous with gossip and slander. Sympathy and concern, overdone, can cripple and smother.
TODAY I will make a list of ten of my strengths and weaknesses. How has acting on each of these virtues and vices created joy or sorrow in my life? I will be aware that my strengths can be my worst enemies if I abuse them.
Attitudes and Limitations
What we consider our greatest strengths can also be our greatest weaknesses.
Excessive pride in "being able to handle everything," for example, may result in our taking on other people's responsibilities. In "taking over," we often lessen another's desire to meet his or her own obligations.
A boastful "I'll do it myself!" attitude can also mask a desperate feeling of inadequacy. Having a constant drive to prove our worth to others, we may trample on, or ignore, the needs of those around us who are just as eager to exhibit their competency and worth.
What are some other examples of virtues becoming vices?
Determination, to excess, becomes obstinacy and stubbornness. Honesty, when misdirected, is synonymous with gossip and slander. Sympathy and concern, overdone, can cripple and smother.
TODAY I will make a list of ten of my strengths and weaknesses. How has acting on each of these virtues and vices created joy or sorrow in my life? I will be aware that my strengths can be my worst enemies if I abuse them.
You are reading from the book:
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