Recovery Meditations:
June 18th
GUILT
“The worst guilt is to
accept an unearned guilt.”
Ayn Rand
I think that I was fed on guilt from the minute I was
knee-high to a grasshopper. My mother's favorite saying was, "After all
I've done for you..." I'd immediately feel guilty because of all that I
perceived my mother had given up for me. As a result, I was given the message
that love had to be earned and that as far as my mother was concerned, I had to
do something to be worthy of her love. I felt like I had to be the perfect
daughter my mother wanted. No matter what I did, it never seemed to be good enough.
My guilt grew even more.
Of course I know now that I didn't deserve that guilt and
that I chose to take it on ~ but as a child I didn't know that. Thank goodness
for the program which is enabling me to see what I deserve -- and what doesn't
belong to me. I am realizing that most of the time it's other people's stuff
and that I don't have to take that on.
One day at a time...
I will remember to
only take on what is rightfully mine and I don't need to feel guilty if I don't
deserve to.
~ Sharon
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Each Day a New Beginning
. . . we could never learn to be brave and patient if there were only joy in the world.
—Helen Keller
We chase after joy, like a child after a firefly, being certain that in joy all problems are solved, all questions are answered. Joy has its rewards, and we deserve them. But life has more to teach us.
We need to learn patience; through patience we come to respect time and its passage, and we are mellowed. We need to learn tolerance; through tolerance our appreciation of another's individuality is nurtured. We need to learn self-respect; self-respect prepares us to contribute more freely to our experiences, and we find wholeness.
Life's travails are our opportunities for lasting, enriching joy. The rough spots deepen our understandings. And these help us to bring joy to the lives of the friends near and dear.
I need not turn my back on joy. But I will be glad for all life's experiences. The panorama will sustain me more fully.
—Helen Keller
We chase after joy, like a child after a firefly, being certain that in joy all problems are solved, all questions are answered. Joy has its rewards, and we deserve them. But life has more to teach us.
We need to learn patience; through patience we come to respect time and its passage, and we are mellowed. We need to learn tolerance; through tolerance our appreciation of another's individuality is nurtured. We need to learn self-respect; self-respect prepares us to contribute more freely to our experiences, and we find wholeness.
Life's travails are our opportunities for lasting, enriching joy. The rough spots deepen our understandings. And these help us to bring joy to the lives of the friends near and dear.
I need not turn my back on joy. But I will be glad for all life's experiences. The panorama will sustain me more fully.
From Each Day a New Beginning: Daily Meditations for Women by Karen Casey
© 1982, 1991 by Hazelden Foundation.
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Food for Thought
Homesickness
There are certain foods, which we will always associate with home and which make us nostalgic to recapture the past. No matter how much we eat, we cannot go back home and again be the babies and little children we were. No food will satisfy our longing for the love, care, and safety most of us associate with home. Even (and especially) if our dependency needs were not met when we were young, eating unnecessary food now will not help.
As we grow in relationship with our Higher Power, we begin to believe that home lies ahead, rather than behind us. We begin to see that our homesickness is for a spiritual state instead of a physical place. Wherever we are, we are pilgrims and travelers, not sure of our final destination but drawn toward something more than what we know in this world. We sense that though we are in the world, we are not of it, that we are homesick for a spiritual fulfillment.
May our homesickness bring us closer to You.
There are certain foods, which we will always associate with home and which make us nostalgic to recapture the past. No matter how much we eat, we cannot go back home and again be the babies and little children we were. No food will satisfy our longing for the love, care, and safety most of us associate with home. Even (and especially) if our dependency needs were not met when we were young, eating unnecessary food now will not help.
As we grow in relationship with our Higher Power, we begin to believe that home lies ahead, rather than behind us. We begin to see that our homesickness is for a spiritual state instead of a physical place. Wherever we are, we are pilgrims and travelers, not sure of our final destination but drawn toward something more than what we know in this world. We sense that though we are in the world, we are not of it, that we are homesick for a spiritual fulfillment.
May our homesickness bring us closer to You.
From Food for Thought: Daily Meditations for Overeaters by Elisabeth L.
©1980, 1992 by Hazelden Foundation
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The Language of Letting Go
Being Vulnerable
Part of recovery means learning to share ourselves with other people. We learn to admit our mistakes and expose our imperfections - not so that others can fix us, rescue us, or feel sorry for us, but so we can love and accept ourselves. This sharing is a catalyst in healing and changing.
Many of us are fearful of sharing our imperfections because that makes us vulnerable. Some of us have tried being vulnerable in the past, and people tried to control, manipulate, or exploit us, or they made us feel ashamed.
Some of us in recovery have hurt ourselves by being vulnerable. We may have shared things with people who didn't respect our confidence. Or we may have told the wrong people at an inappropriate time, and scared them away.
We learn from our mistakes - and despite our mistakes, it is still a good thing to allow ourselves to be vulnerable and honest. We can learn to choose safe people with whom to share ourselves. We can learn to share appropriately, so we don't scare or push people away. We can also learn to let others be vulnerable with us.
Today, God, help me learn to be appropriately vulnerable. I will not let others exploit or shame me for being vulnerable, and I will not exploit myself.
Part of recovery means learning to share ourselves with other people. We learn to admit our mistakes and expose our imperfections - not so that others can fix us, rescue us, or feel sorry for us, but so we can love and accept ourselves. This sharing is a catalyst in healing and changing.
Many of us are fearful of sharing our imperfections because that makes us vulnerable. Some of us have tried being vulnerable in the past, and people tried to control, manipulate, or exploit us, or they made us feel ashamed.
Some of us in recovery have hurt ourselves by being vulnerable. We may have shared things with people who didn't respect our confidence. Or we may have told the wrong people at an inappropriate time, and scared them away.
We learn from our mistakes - and despite our mistakes, it is still a good thing to allow ourselves to be vulnerable and honest. We can learn to choose safe people with whom to share ourselves. We can learn to share appropriately, so we don't scare or push people away. We can also learn to let others be vulnerable with us.
Today, God, help me learn to be appropriately vulnerable. I will not let others exploit or shame me for being vulnerable, and I will not exploit myself.
From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie
©1990, Hazelden Foundation.
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Today's thought from Hazelden Betty Ford Foundation is:
"Thinking," said the little boy, "is when your mouth stays shut and your head keeps talking to itself."
--Arkansas Baptist
We need quiet times in order to develop peace and serenity in our lives. We spend most of our days speaking or being spoken to. It's important to set aside time to speak to ourselves. We need to speak to ourselves gently and honestly each day. We need to spend quality time with ourselves to keep in touch with who we are and where we're headed. A diver takes the time for a deep breath and a quiet moment before he jumps, and so it is for us before we jump from one activity to the next. In this way we can honor ourselves and our actions by offering respect for what we've just done, and for what we're about to do.
Today I will have at least one quiet time for myself because I deserve it.
"Thinking," said the little boy, "is when your mouth stays shut and your head keeps talking to itself."
--Arkansas Baptist
We need quiet times in order to develop peace and serenity in our lives. We spend most of our days speaking or being spoken to. It's important to set aside time to speak to ourselves. We need to speak to ourselves gently and honestly each day. We need to spend quality time with ourselves to keep in touch with who we are and where we're headed. A diver takes the time for a deep breath and a quiet moment before he jumps, and so it is for us before we jump from one activity to the next. In this way we can honor ourselves and our actions by offering respect for what we've just done, and for what we're about to do.
Today I will have at least one quiet time for myself because I deserve it.
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