Recovery Meditations: April 18th*********************************************************
~ UNCONDITIONAL LOVE ~
The ultimate lesson all of us have to learn is unconditional love,
which includes not only others but ourselves as well.
Elisabeth Kubler-Ross
I don't think I knew what unconditional love was before I came into the program. After all, I had always felt that my mother had only loved and accepted me conditionally, and that in order for me to receive approval and love from her, I had to be the best at everything I did. I had to be at the top of the class, win prizes for ballet and in general be a credit to her, so that she could bask in the reflected limelight. Perhaps that was only my perception. But as a result, I wrote a script for myself that, in order to be loved, accepted and loveable, I had to excel at everything. I became an overachiever academically, I had to be the best wife, best mother, best cook, in short, the best everything. No wonder I had to eat to cope with all this self-inflicted pressure.
The unconditional love and acceptance I received when I first came into these program rooms was something I had never experienced before. "Let us love you until you can learn to love yourself," they said. This was something totally foreign to me. How could I be loveable when I was fat and bloated? How could they love me when I hated myself for all the secret eating that caused me to feel totally miserable? But love me they did, and that was the beginning of my healing. At one stage fairly early in my recovery, one of my daughters accused me of being so busy going to meetings and doing courses and learning to love myself, that I was too busy to love them. How wrong she was! It was only when I had learned enough self- love and approval of myself, exactly as I was, that I was able to love all my children fully and unconditionally.
I am now able to love and accept all my children exactly as they are. None of them are perfect, as I am not, but they are special in their own right, and I love them for who they are and not for anything they do or don't do.
One day at a time...
I practice being warm and accepting of all those I love,
as I accept and love myself for being who I am today - a child of God
~ Sharon ~
Each Day a New Beginning
To oppose something is to maintain it.
—Ursula K. LeGuin
Most of our struggles are with other persons or perhaps situations we want to change. We discover that our continual opposition adds fuel to the fires (at least our own internal ones). But can we turn our backs when we feel justified in our opposition? There's perhaps no more difficult action to take than to walk away from those situations we feel so strongly about, but the wisdom of this program says, "Let go and let God." And when we do let go, as if by magic, relief comes. The fires die out. That which we opposed is less troubling, maybe even gone. We no longer feel the need to struggle today. The need may rise again, but again we can turn to our higher power. Trusting that relief awaits us ensures its arrival.
As women we discover many opportunities for opposition, too many persons and situations that make difficult our changing roles - too many persons who don't easily accept our changing characters. The strength to let go and let God we must share with one another.
I maintain my struggles with righteous behavior. They lose their sting when they lose my opposition. I will step aside and let God.
—Ursula K. LeGuin
Most of our struggles are with other persons or perhaps situations we want to change. We discover that our continual opposition adds fuel to the fires (at least our own internal ones). But can we turn our backs when we feel justified in our opposition? There's perhaps no more difficult action to take than to walk away from those situations we feel so strongly about, but the wisdom of this program says, "Let go and let God." And when we do let go, as if by magic, relief comes. The fires die out. That which we opposed is less troubling, maybe even gone. We no longer feel the need to struggle today. The need may rise again, but again we can turn to our higher power. Trusting that relief awaits us ensures its arrival.
As women we discover many opportunities for opposition, too many persons and situations that make difficult our changing roles - too many persons who don't easily accept our changing characters. The strength to let go and let God we must share with one another.
I maintain my struggles with righteous behavior. They lose their sting when they lose my opposition. I will step aside and let God.
From Each Day a New Beginning: Daily Meditations for Women by Karen Casey
© 1982, 1991 by Hazelden Foundation.
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Food for Thought
Caring
"Teach us to care and not to care. Teach us to sit still."
We know that God cares for us and we try to give to those we love the care that He would have us give. But sometimes we become so caught up in our cares and concerns, whether they be for ourselves or for others that we forget to listen to our Higher Power.
In order to work the spiritual part of the program, we need to spend time quietly by ourselves listening to the inner voice. Each day we need a period of time alone when we can get in touch with the center of our being.
When we are tuned in to our Higher Power, we are able to give to those we care for. Our concerns fall into proper perspective, and we are freed from selfish preoccupation. Our actions become more effective and our hearts are more open to the needs of those we love.
Teach us to care.
"Teach us to care and not to care. Teach us to sit still."
We know that God cares for us and we try to give to those we love the care that He would have us give. But sometimes we become so caught up in our cares and concerns, whether they be for ourselves or for others that we forget to listen to our Higher Power.
In order to work the spiritual part of the program, we need to spend time quietly by ourselves listening to the inner voice. Each day we need a period of time alone when we can get in touch with the center of our being.
When we are tuned in to our Higher Power, we are able to give to those we care for. Our concerns fall into proper perspective, and we are freed from selfish preoccupation. Our actions become more effective and our hearts are more open to the needs of those we love.
Teach us to care.
From Food for Thought: Daily Meditations for Overeaters by Elisabeth L.
©1980, 1992 by Hazelden Foundation.
*********************************************************
The Language of Letting Go
Freedom
Many of us were oppressed and victimized as children. As adults, we may continue to keep ourselves oppressed.
Some of us don't recognize that caretaking and not setting boundaries will leave us feeling victimized.
Some of us don't understand that thinking of ourselves as victims will leave us feeling oppressed.
Some of us don't know that we hold the key to our own freedom. That key is honoring ourselves, and taking care of ourselves.
We can say what we mean, and mean what we say.
We can stop waiting for others to give us what we need and take responsibility for ourselves. When we do, the gates to freedom will swing wide.
Walk through.
Today, I will understand that I hold the key to my freedom. I will stop participating in my oppression and victimization. I will take responsibility for myself, and let others do as they may.
Many of us were oppressed and victimized as children. As adults, we may continue to keep ourselves oppressed.
Some of us don't recognize that caretaking and not setting boundaries will leave us feeling victimized.
Some of us don't understand that thinking of ourselves as victims will leave us feeling oppressed.
Some of us don't know that we hold the key to our own freedom. That key is honoring ourselves, and taking care of ourselves.
We can say what we mean, and mean what we say.
We can stop waiting for others to give us what we need and take responsibility for ourselves. When we do, the gates to freedom will swing wide.
Walk through.
Today, I will understand that I hold the key to my freedom. I will stop participating in my oppression and victimization. I will take responsibility for myself, and let others do as they may.
From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie
©1990, Hazelden Foundation.
***************************************************************
Today's thought from Hazelden is:
A problem can ultimately bring us a gift.
We start our relationship in excitement, hope, and good feelings, with perhaps a measure of fear mixed in. Our history is yet to evolve. A beginning is more a time of romance than reality. But no lasting connection is built on a steady string of good times. Relationships deepen the way individuals do - by meeting the hard times, not accepting defeat, and using difficulty to learn and grow. That is how a problem, something we do not want or choose in our lives, can ultimately bring us a gift.
One year the biggest problem a couple dealt with was illness, another year it was a financial pinch, and another year almost everything came easily. Each situation called for new responses from within, yet for the same spiritual attitude of living one day at a time. Looking back, they appreciate the richness of their lives together because they have risen above their problems, grown from them, and had many times of fun and pleasure. Their problems were hard but built their relationship.
You are reading from the book:
The More We Find In Each Other by Merle Fossum and Mavis Fossum
A problem can ultimately bring us a gift.
We start our relationship in excitement, hope, and good feelings, with perhaps a measure of fear mixed in. Our history is yet to evolve. A beginning is more a time of romance than reality. But no lasting connection is built on a steady string of good times. Relationships deepen the way individuals do - by meeting the hard times, not accepting defeat, and using difficulty to learn and grow. That is how a problem, something we do not want or choose in our lives, can ultimately bring us a gift.
One year the biggest problem a couple dealt with was illness, another year it was a financial pinch, and another year almost everything came easily. Each situation called for new responses from within, yet for the same spiritual attitude of living one day at a time. Looking back, they appreciate the richness of their lives together because they have risen above their problems, grown from them, and had many times of fun and pleasure. Their problems were hard but built their relationship.
You are reading from the book:
The More We Find In Each Other by Merle Fossum and Mavis Fossum
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