The Language of Letting Go: August 9th

Asking for What We Need

Decide what it is you want and need, and then go to the person you need it from and ask for it.

Sometimes, it takes hard work and much energy to get what we want and need. We have to go through the pains of identifying what we want, then struggle to believe that we deserve it. Then, we may have to experience the disappointment of asking someone, having the person refuse us, and figuring out what to do next.

Sometimes in life, getting what we want and need is not so difficult. Sometimes, all we need to do is ask.

We can go to another person, or our Higher Power, and ask for what we need.

But because of how difficult it can be, at times, to get what we want and need, we may get trapped in the mind set of believing it will always be that difficult. Sometimes, not wanting to go through the hassle, dreading the struggle, or out of fear, we may make getting what we want and need much more difficult than it needs to be.

We may get angry before we ask, deciding that we'll never get what we want, or anticipating the "fight" we'll have to endure. By the time we talk to someone about what we want, we may be so angry that we're demanding, not asking; thus our anger triggers a power play that didn't exist except in our mind.

Or we may get so worked up that we don't ask--or we waste far more energy than necessary fighting with ourselves, only to find out that the other person, or our Higher Power, is happy to give us what we want.

Sometimes, we have to fight and work and wait for what we want and need. Sometimes, we can get it just by asking or stating that this is what we want. Ask. If the answer is no, or not what we want, then we can decide what to do next.

Today, I will not set up a difficult situation that doesn't exist with other people, or my Higher Power, about getting what I want and need. If there is something I need from someone, I will ask first, before I struggle. 

From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie ©1990, Hazelden Foundation

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A n odd suggestion: if we will look
once in a while at what we can do
to be truly miserable and in inner
turmoil, it can help point us in the right
direction more swiftly than lots of good
advice. If I’m feeling pretty contented and
calm right now, I may ask, what could I do
to mess this up? Once I know that, I know
what not to do. I even discover to do its
opposite. To be miserable, I can need
other people to make me feel complete
and then resent them when they don’t.
I can attach my own worth as a person
to material things. I can know about
treatment and meditation, and how these
make me feel better and cause my world
to be better, and still not practice them
because I’m too busy.
The more we treat (pray affirmatively)
and meditate (immerse ourselves in
oneness), the more creative ideas will flow
through us, resulting in being busier than
ever in our chosen endeavors. Want a
more successful business? Then get ready
for more customers, not fewer. Would you
like a loving relationship? This demands
ongoing involvement, negotiation, and
compromise with a partner and his or
her needs and wants. But, busy or at
rest, what brings us into the land of our
dreams, and allows us to remain there, is
regular spiritual practice of communion
with the Infinite.