Owning Our Power in Relationships
So much of what I call my codependency is fear and panic because I spent so much of my life feeling abused, trapped, and not knowing how to take care of myself in relationships.
—Anonymous
No matter how long we have been recovering, we may still tend to give up our power to others, whether they be authority figures, a new love, or a child.
When we do this, we experience the set of emotions and thoughts we call "the codependent crazies." We may feel angry, guilty, afraid, confused, and obsessed. We may feel dependent and needy or become overly controlling and rigid. We may return to familiar behaviors during stress. And for those of us who have codependency and adult children issues, relationships can mean stress.
We don't have to stay stuck in our codependency. We don't have to shame or blame ourselves, or the other person, for our condition. We simply need to remember to own our power.
Practice. Practice. Practice using your power to take care of yourself, no matter who you are dealing with, where you are, or what you are doing. This is what recovery means. This does not mean we try to control others; it does not mean we become abrasive or abusive. It means we own our power to take care of ourselves.
The thought of doing this may generate fears. That's normal! Take care of yourself anyway. The answers, and the power to do that, are within you now.
Start today. Start where you are. Start by taking care of who you are, at the present moment, to the best of your ability.
Today, I will focus on owning my power to take care of myself. I will not let fears, or a false sense of shame and guilt; stop me from taking care of myself.
So much of what I call my codependency is fear and panic because I spent so much of my life feeling abused, trapped, and not knowing how to take care of myself in relationships.
—Anonymous
No matter how long we have been recovering, we may still tend to give up our power to others, whether they be authority figures, a new love, or a child.
When we do this, we experience the set of emotions and thoughts we call "the codependent crazies." We may feel angry, guilty, afraid, confused, and obsessed. We may feel dependent and needy or become overly controlling and rigid. We may return to familiar behaviors during stress. And for those of us who have codependency and adult children issues, relationships can mean stress.
We don't have to stay stuck in our codependency. We don't have to shame or blame ourselves, or the other person, for our condition. We simply need to remember to own our power.
Practice. Practice. Practice using your power to take care of yourself, no matter who you are dealing with, where you are, or what you are doing. This is what recovery means. This does not mean we try to control others; it does not mean we become abrasive or abusive. It means we own our power to take care of ourselves.
The thought of doing this may generate fears. That's normal! Take care of yourself anyway. The answers, and the power to do that, are within you now.
Start today. Start where you are. Start by taking care of who you are, at the present moment, to the best of your ability.
Today, I will focus on owning my power to take care of myself. I will not let fears, or a false sense of shame and guilt; stop me from taking care of myself.
From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie
©1990, Hazelden Foundation.
*******************************************
As soon as we
learn that God does
things through us
(not for us), the
matter becomes as
simple as breathing,
as inevitable as
sunrise.
—
Agnes Sanford
learn that God does
things through us
(not for us), the
matter becomes as
simple as breathing,
as inevitable as
sunrise.
—
Agnes Sanford
T he directory board at the mall has
an X that announces “you are here”
in relation to stores that we wish to
visit. So does the sign on the inside of the
hotel-room door, in relation to exits and
the ice machine. The car’s GPS zeroes
in on “here,” then requests a destination.
They all know where we are and where
we might go, but not why.
Imagine our GPS asking, “Why do
you want to go there? Have you thought
about this? Is it the best use of your
time? Is it congruent with your life’s
stated purpose?” Only in fiction are the
world’s signposts and guidance systems
this impertinent. They’re programmed to
assume that we know what we’re doing.
We reciprocate by knowing why we are
doing it.
an X that announces “you are here”
in relation to stores that we wish to
visit. So does the sign on the inside of the
hotel-room door, in relation to exits and
the ice machine. The car’s GPS zeroes
in on “here,” then requests a destination.
They all know where we are and where
we might go, but not why.
Imagine our GPS asking, “Why do
you want to go there? Have you thought
about this? Is it the best use of your
time? Is it congruent with your life’s
stated purpose?” Only in fiction are the
world’s signposts and guidance systems
this impertinent. They’re programmed to
assume that we know what we’re doing.
We reciprocate by knowing why we are
doing it.
We eat because we’re hungry and sleep
because we’re tired. In between, there
are a thousand things we do, or put off
doing, for reasons that may be vague to
us. We may never have considered that we
had the right, much less the obligation,
to explore our motives. We needn’t
interrogate them, just nicely ask them,
“What about this appeals to me?” Perhaps,
what we thought we wanted isn’t really
it. It’s been said that if we don’t know
where we’re going, any road will take us
there. If we don’t know why we’re going,
maybe what we seek has been right here
all along.
Affirmation
My inner world
beckons, and with
my lamp of faith, I
go see what’s there.
My mind is open.
Motivations behind
my words and
actions clearly and
gently make themselves
known to me.
Invest in today
This day is an investment you're making in your life. Invest it wisely.
The things you do today can pay dividends far into the future, or they can create regrets that you'll never escape. With your actions, choose to create future rewards and satisfaction rather than future regret.
It is just one more seemingly ordinary day, and yet it is a vitally important part of your precious life. Treat this day with respect and appreciation for how much you can do with it.
Invest wisely and beneficially in today with your love, your gratitude, your attention, compassion and joy. Most of all, invest in today with purposeful effort.
Life can be truly beautiful, and today is your opportunity to create that beauty in your own special way. Life can be immensely rewarding, and today is when you get to work those great rewards into existence.
You cannot save today until later, so invest yourself fully in it while it is here. Life's richness is built one day at a time, so give your best to every one of them, especially today.
Ralph Marston - The Daily Motivator
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