The Language of Letting Go: July 22nd

Learning to Trust Again
Many of us have trust issues.

Some of us tried long and hard to trust untrustworthy people. Over and again, we believed lies and promises never to be kept. Some of us tried to trust people for the impossible; for instance, trusting a practicing alcoholic not to drink again.

Some of us trusted our Higher Power inappropriately. We trusted God to make other people do what we wanted, then felt betrayed when that didn't work out.

Some of us were taught that life couldn't be trusted, that we had to control and manipulate our way through.

Most of us were taught, inappropriately, that we couldn't trust ourselves.

In recovery, we're healing from our trust issues. We're learning to trust again. The first lesson in trust is this: We can learn to trust ourselves. We can be trusted. If others have taught us we cannot trust ourselves, they were lying. Addictions and dysfunctional systems make people lie.

We can learn to appropriately trust our Higher Power - not to make people do what we wanted them to, but to help us take care of ourselves, and to bring about the best possible circumstances, at the best possible times, in our life.

We can trust the process - of life and recovery. We do not have to control, obsess, or become hyper vigilant. We may not always understand where we are going, or what's being worked out in us, but we can trust that something good is happening.

When we learn to do this, we are ready to learn to trust other people. When we trust our Higher Power and when we trust ourselves, we will know who to trust and what to trust that person for.

Perhaps we always did. We just didn't listen closely enough to ourselves or trust what we heard.

Today, I will affirm that I can learn to trust appropriately. I can trust my Higher Power, my recovery, and myself. I can learn to appropriately trust others too.

From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie ©1990, Hazelden Foundation

********************************************************

 The best way to
find out if you can
trust somebody is
to trust them.
—
Ernest Hemingway

Be cautious.” “Be careful.” “Don’t trust.”
We receive a wealth of advice from
family, friends, and others as we go
through life. Advertising continuously
warns us to distrust our own opinions, to
see their products or services as the best
source of what we need to be successful,
or at least not to be embarrassed, as we
go through life. We are bombarded with
reasons not to trust ourselves and others.
In fact, people’s livelihoods often depend
on us letting ourselves be influenced in
this way.
When we do not trust, we develop the
false impression that we are more aware of
what harm might befall us. We think that if
we are vigilant for harm, it will stay away.
Actually, it is just the opposite. When we
do not trust, we may spot the occasional
untrustworthy person, but we will just as
often be fooled by others. More important,
we will miss many opportunities to
connect with trustworthy people. Mistrust
drives the good people away.
Those who learn to trust themselves
can also trust others. This is so because
when we trust from the inner power,
we easily spot traits in others who are
untrustworthy. Our perceptions are
heightened and true. Trust attracts trust.
When we know this, life becomes much
easier and more natural. We learn to trust
ourselves, and as a byproduct, we can more
easily see who is and is not trustworthy


Affirmation:
I learn to trust.
I trust myself to
discern wisely when
making choices. I
trust others to reveal
themselves to me in
ways that I can relate
to from my open
heart.