The Language of Letting Go: April 17th

Taking Care of Ourselves

We often refer to recovery from codependency and adult child issues as self-care. Self-care is not, as some may think, a spin off of the Me generation. It isn't self-indulgence. It isn't selfishness - in the negative interpretation of that word.

We're learning to take care of ourselves, instead of obsessively focusing on another person. We're learning self-responsibility, instead of feeling excessively responsible for others. Self-care also means tending to our true responsibilities to others; we do this better when we're not feeling overly responsible.

Self-care sometimes means, me first, but usually, me too. It means we are responsible for ourselves and can choose to no longer be victims.

Self-care means learning to love the person we're responsible for taking care of - ourselves. We do not do this to hibernate in a cocoon of isolation and self indulgence; we do it so we can better love others, and learn to let them love us.

Self-care isn't selfish; it's self-esteem.

Today, God, help me love myself. Help me let go of feeling excessively responsible for those around me. Show me what I need to do to take care of myself and be appropriately responsible to others.

From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie ©1990, Hazelden Foundation.

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Many times, I hear others worry that abstinence means 'selfishness'. If it DOES mean that, then FINE! If we are finally willing to BE a bit 'selfish' in order to find recovery, then Bring. It. On!

As it says in this lovely ready, self-care is not self-indulgence or selfishness. Self-indulgence is overeating, going on binges, hiding out in the car with a bag of junk food from the gas station, stuffing it all away in short order and disposing of the 'evidence' before driving into the garage. 

Addiction is the definition of 'selfishness'.  Addiction means, "To the exclusion of all else."  When we are practicing addictive behavior, we ignore everyone and everything while in hot pursuit of what we can eat next.  Children are ignored, husbands, family, jobs, responsibilities............the ONLY thing that matters is the next FIX.  THAT, my friends, is truly 'selfish'.

Self-care, on the other hand, means I am accepting responsibility for myself AND my behavior.  I choose to no longer be a victim. I choose to have enough self-esteem to STOP treating my body like a dumpster and start treating it like the holy vessel it truly IS!

When I respect & love MYSELF, I respect and love God.  When I choose to care for myself properly, I choose the healing light of recovery and faith.  When I practice faith, I wipe out fear, and choose LIFE, one day at a time.