~ Recovery ~
I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired.
Fannie Lou Hamer
I used to get so disgusted with myself. I was sick and tired of trying to lose weight because I always failed. I had lost weight several times but I would still feel ugly, fat and unacceptable to everybody else. The sickness and tiredness remained because I had not changed anything inside my head, just my body size! My past was still there and it continued to haunt me, and I was filled with the guilt and shame of the past.
A friend told me about this great program where I could discover what was really making me sick and how I could recover. She said, "You will have someone with you to help continually 24 hours a day, seven days a week."
"How can this be?" I asked.
She said, "Well, this wonderful program helps you recover by teaching you what really has been bothering you. Maybe it's things you are sorry you did or didn't do in the past, people you've hurt or who have hurt you."
"Do I need to leave home or pay a lot of money?" I asked.
She said, "No. You work it at home, at work and everywhere you go. The cost is nothing, except a desire to stop eating compulsively. Your continual help is your Higher Power and he never goes to sleep, he listens and helps you when you ask for his help."
"Wow, you mean I don't have to be sick and tired any more?"
"That's right and all it takes is Twelve small but important Steps, a lot of love, hugs, acceptance, trust and sincere honesty. It's easy and works as long as you work it."
One Day at a Time . . .
I don't need to be sick and tired of myself any more. I have a wonderful program with a lot of tools, friends and my Higher Power to help me. I can achieve recovery one day at a time ... it's a matter of progress, not perfection.
~ Jeanette ~
******************************************************
Food for Thought
Compulsive Means My Will
When I am compulsive about something, I "have to" have it or see that it is done. I am insisting on my will, my way. I forget that the world does not revolve around me.
Going against the laws of the universe inevitably brings trouble. I cannot willfully consume everything my uncontrolled appetite demands without hurting myself and others. I cannot arrange other people's lives to suit my time schedule. I cannot adjust the world to me; I can adjust myself to what is, to reality.
Giving up my selfish, egocentric desires is probably the most difficult task I have. "He who masters himself is greater than he who conquers a city." I cannot do it alone. Through the fellowship of OA, with the help of the program, and by the grace of my Higher Power, I seek to turn from my will to His will.
Thy will be done.
When I am compulsive about something, I "have to" have it or see that it is done. I am insisting on my will, my way. I forget that the world does not revolve around me.
Going against the laws of the universe inevitably brings trouble. I cannot willfully consume everything my uncontrolled appetite demands without hurting myself and others. I cannot arrange other people's lives to suit my time schedule. I cannot adjust the world to me; I can adjust myself to what is, to reality.
Giving up my selfish, egocentric desires is probably the most difficult task I have. "He who masters himself is greater than he who conquers a city." I cannot do it alone. Through the fellowship of OA, with the help of the program, and by the grace of my Higher Power, I seek to turn from my will to His will.
Thy will be done.
********************************************************
The Language of Letting Go
Letting Go of Fear
Picture yourself swimming floating - peacefully down a gentle stream. All you need to do is breathe, relax, and go with the flow.
Suddenly, you become conscious of your situation. Frightened, overwhelmed with "what if's?" your body tenses. You begin to thrash around, frantically looking for something to grab on to.
You panic so hard you start to go under. Then you remember - you're working too hard at this. You don't need to panic. All you need to do is breathe, relax, and go with the flow. You won't drown.
Panic is our great enemy.
We don't need to become desperate. If overwhelming problems appear in our life, we need to stop struggling. We can tread water for a bit, until our equilibrium returns. Then we can go back to floating peacefully down the gentle stream. It is our stream. It is a safe stream. Our course has been charted. All is well.
Today, I will relax, breathe, and go with the flow.
******************************************|I'm posting 3 readings today, because they ALL hit home in a BIG way, discussing the characteristics of compulsive overeating.
In the Recovery Meditations, if you're tired of starting over then stop giving up! In the end, it's easier to stick to a food plan which keeps the mind chatter AWAY, then it is to battle our appetites! There's no such thing as 'enough' so why not stick to a measured, pre-selected food program instead of succumbing to the insanity????
Along the way, we work the Steps to figure out the 'whys' of it all. Otherwise, we reach goal and we STILL hate ourselves. If we insist the journey is all about our bodies, we're sadly mistaken. That's why we're still miserable when we DO reach goal: because our bodies are still imperfect; and we haven't learned to love OURSELVES, on the inside..........so the outside change is not enough. Only when we accept ourselves can we keep the weight off permanently.
In the Food for Thought reading, we see what the definition of 'compulsive' really is! "My way or the highway"...................being in charge of the world and everyone in it...............'having to' have something NOW, this minute, period. Selfish, egocentric behavior is at the root of this disease! Insisting things have GOT TO GO MY WAY means that I am refusing to grow up and accept life on LIFE'S terms. My selfish will interrupts the joy I COULD be feeling by telling me nothing is quite right; things could be better.........and chains me down in every way. For today, let go and let God.
In The Language of Letting Go, we see that panic causes us to overreact.........to reach for comfort in all the wrong places. We feel like we're going under and realize we're fighting too hard.........we are exerting OUR will instead of allowing God to take over and guide us.
Panic is our great enemy. We feel desperate and insist SOMETHING has to be done! NOW! It is my job to go with the flow. To let nothing and nobody disturb MY inner peace! I am calm at my core, and unfazed by everything whirling around me. I try to remain neutral, instead of reactive............I don't judge or jump to conclusions. I realize that I cannot control YOUR actions, but that I CAN control MY reactions!
For today, I will live my program. I will walk the walk and work the Steps. I know the program promises are 100% accurate & I will not fight the truth.
Picture yourself swimming floating - peacefully down a gentle stream. All you need to do is breathe, relax, and go with the flow.
Suddenly, you become conscious of your situation. Frightened, overwhelmed with "what if's?" your body tenses. You begin to thrash around, frantically looking for something to grab on to.
You panic so hard you start to go under. Then you remember - you're working too hard at this. You don't need to panic. All you need to do is breathe, relax, and go with the flow. You won't drown.
Panic is our great enemy.
We don't need to become desperate. If overwhelming problems appear in our life, we need to stop struggling. We can tread water for a bit, until our equilibrium returns. Then we can go back to floating peacefully down the gentle stream. It is our stream. It is a safe stream. Our course has been charted. All is well.
Today, I will relax, breathe, and go with the flow.
******************************************|I'm posting 3 readings today, because they ALL hit home in a BIG way, discussing the characteristics of compulsive overeating.
In the Recovery Meditations, if you're tired of starting over then stop giving up! In the end, it's easier to stick to a food plan which keeps the mind chatter AWAY, then it is to battle our appetites! There's no such thing as 'enough' so why not stick to a measured, pre-selected food program instead of succumbing to the insanity????
Along the way, we work the Steps to figure out the 'whys' of it all. Otherwise, we reach goal and we STILL hate ourselves. If we insist the journey is all about our bodies, we're sadly mistaken. That's why we're still miserable when we DO reach goal: because our bodies are still imperfect; and we haven't learned to love OURSELVES, on the inside..........so the outside change is not enough. Only when we accept ourselves can we keep the weight off permanently.
In the Food for Thought reading, we see what the definition of 'compulsive' really is! "My way or the highway"...................being in charge of the world and everyone in it...............'having to' have something NOW, this minute, period. Selfish, egocentric behavior is at the root of this disease! Insisting things have GOT TO GO MY WAY means that I am refusing to grow up and accept life on LIFE'S terms. My selfish will interrupts the joy I COULD be feeling by telling me nothing is quite right; things could be better.........and chains me down in every way. For today, let go and let God.
In The Language of Letting Go, we see that panic causes us to overreact.........to reach for comfort in all the wrong places. We feel like we're going under and realize we're fighting too hard.........we are exerting OUR will instead of allowing God to take over and guide us.
Panic is our great enemy. We feel desperate and insist SOMETHING has to be done! NOW! It is my job to go with the flow. To let nothing and nobody disturb MY inner peace! I am calm at my core, and unfazed by everything whirling around me. I try to remain neutral, instead of reactive............I don't judge or jump to conclusions. I realize that I cannot control YOUR actions, but that I CAN control MY reactions!
For today, I will live my program. I will walk the walk and work the Steps. I know the program promises are 100% accurate & I will not fight the truth.
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