The Language of Letting Go: December 17th

Nurturing Ourselves

Many of us have been so deprived of nurturing that we think it's silly or self-indulgent. Nurturing is neither silly nor self-indulgent; it's how we show love for ourselves. That's what we're striving for in recovery - a loving relationship with ourselves that works, so we can have loving relationships with others that work.

When we hurt, we ask ourselves what we need to help us feel better. When we feel alone, we reach out to someone safe. Without feeling that we are a burden, we allow that person to be there for us.

We rest when we're tired; eat when we're hungry; have fun or relax when our spirits need a lift. Nurturing means giving ourselves gifts - a trip to the beauty salon or barbershop, a massage, a book, a new jacket, or a new suit or dress. It means a long, hot bath to forget about our problems and the world for a few moments when that would feel good.

We learn to be gentle with ourselves and to open up to the nurturing that others have to offer us.

As part of nurturing ourselves, we allow ourselves to give and receive positive touch - touch that feels appropriate to us, touch that is safe. We reject touch that doesn't feel good or safe and is not positive.

We learn to give ourselves what we need in a gentle, loving, compassionate way. We do this with the understanding it will not make us lazy, spoiled, self centered, or narcissistic. Nurtured people are effective in their work and in their relationships.

We will learn to feel loved by ourselves so much that we can truly love others and let them love us.

Today, I will nurture myself. I will also be open to the nurturing that I can give to others and receive from them.

From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie ©1990, Hazelden Foundation.

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When I was eating compulsively, I didn't nurture myself...........I didn't feel like I DESERVED to nurture or love myself.  I had a skewed vision of life...........thinking it was 'self'indulgent' to nurture myself, but NOT 'self-indulgent' to overeat 24/7?  Just another bit of chaotic thinking, thanks to the disease that keeps on giving...............and giving..............and giving...............until WE say ENOUGH.

Once I committed myself to an abstinent lifestyle, so many things became clear, as the food fog was lifted.  When I was consumed and obsessed with food & drink 24/7, there was no room for anything else....................the 'hungers' that consumed me had nothing to DO with food or drink.  So when I tried to satisfy the emotional hunger with calories, I never felt full or satisfied.

Nowadays, I eat only enough calories to sustain my body.  My mental health & well-being is not contingent upon food at all.  Whenever I think 'how nice' it would be to have a binge, or to eat that chocolate which would taste so good, I remind myself what it would COST me to indulge.  It would cost me my abstinence, peace of mind, clear thinking, serenity..........the list goes on and on.  A two minute or two hour 'indulgence' could easily set me down the road to destruction, as it has in the past.

Some mistakes are NEVER worth repeating. 

For today, I pray to USE the tools in my toolbox, and to avoid taking that first compulsive bite.  Today, I choose to preserve my program,thereby preserving my SANITY and SERENITY.

For today, I choose to nurture myself in a healthy fashion.  Today, I AM WORTH IT!