Recovery Meditations: July 6th

---

SUFFERING

The desire to stop suffering
is not the same thing as the desire to stop the behavior
we are doing which causes us to suffer.
Dr. James Golden

Our disease of addiction causes tremendous suffering to ourselves and to those around us. It consumes our lives and often leads to painful losses. No matter how profoundly we long to be rid of our disease, recovery is not something that falls into our laps just because we want it. We don''t magically stop being compulsive eaters just because that\s our desire. It would be great if recovery happened magically and all we'd have to do is say, "I don't want this disease any more; I don't want to suffer any longer." If it were that easy, we'd immediately find ourselves in a place of complete and total recovery. Unfortunately, it doesn't work that way.

In the depths of my disease I cried out to the God of my understanding to help me achieve abstinence and an alleviation of my suffering. What was the answer to my prayers? This wonderful Twelve Step program.

One of the first things I learned was that I could wish and hope and pray, but until I put feet to my prayers and actually started working the Steps, I wouldn't recover from my disease. God will only do for us what He can do through us. If I'm not willing to do even a little bit of the work, I shouldn''t expect recovery. If I won't take the first step on this journey, I can't expect to reach my final destination. I can do some things for myself -- like putting the Steps into practice -- but what about the things I can't do for myself? I'll let God handle those.

One day at a time...
I'll remember that it's not enough
to want to stop suffering from my disease;
I also need to do some footwork to make it happen.

~ Jeff

__________________
My Health Coach Website
My Blog

*******************************************************************

Expecting to find recovery without doing the footwork is like searching for the 'magic pill' that will allow me to lose weight without changing my eating habits.

I see those ads all the time on TV & in magazines all the time. Lose weight quickly & easily! Don't change a single thing, just swallow this pill!  Keep enjoying cake & ice cream & STILL lose weight! In tiny print at the end of the ad, if you look with a magnifying glass, you'll see words to the effect of "when followed with diet and exercise."  

Nothing is free and there is always a catch to everything. Same with Recovery. I won't change my habits simply by 'wanting' to do so.  I have to MAKE it happen by following a structured food plan of abstinence. I have to be willing to STOP the behavior that causes me to suffer; simply wanting it is not enough.

Good actions create good thoughts, not the other way around.

Sitting back on my laurels will NOT get me where I need and want to be. Only lots of hard work, commitment and prayer WILL.

For today, I will stop 'wishing' and start making things happen for myself.  With God's help, I can do ANYTHING, one day at a time.  Recovery is available.............what am I willing to do to FIND it, and/or to KEEP it?

Recovery Meditations: July 5th

OVERCOMING RELAPSE

"Come, whoever you are! Wanderer, worshipper,
Lover of Leaving. Come, this is not a caravan of despair.
It doesn't matter if you've broken your vow a thousand times.
Still, and yet again, come, come."
Rumi


Perhaps the best thing my recovery plan has given me is finding the gift of inspiration almost anywhere. The above quote is such an example. Mevlana Jelalu'ddin Rumi was a Persian poet and theologian who lived from 1207 to 1273. Rumi also seemed to understand recovery quite well, judging from this quote.

I have fallen so many times on my recovery path. Once down, the disease really starts talking to me. "You're already down; you may as well stay down," it will say. Or, "You screwed up your food plan, so you might as well eat this, too." On and on, it never fails.

That's why this quote from Rumi means so much to me. My Higher Power sent it as an invitation to begin again, however many times I need. Even if I slip over and over and over, I can always begin again. My Higher Power and this program of recovery are very forgiving, and I can pick up and move on. I needn't fear failure, because I only fail if I don't get up and forge ahead.

One Day at a Time . . .
I will remember that I may fall, but I can get up again. I can begin anew, and know that I will overcome relapse when I make a fresh start.

~ Jeff

__________________
My Health Coach Website
My Blog

 

****************************************************************

 

Who amongst us does not understand relapse?  I have been on 200 diets over the years & relapsed every single time. Normally, I'd continue eating, saying "You've already blown it & now you are a failure", and I'd use it as an excuse to stop living a healthy lifestyle.

 

The "All-or-nothing mentality"is what killed my best efforts, over & over again.

 

These days, when I fall down, I pick myself back UP and commit to my food plan again right away.

 

If I get a flat tire, I fix it; I don't slash the other three.  

 

I've ditched the idea that I have to be 'perfect' in life, too. Where did I ever get that idea? I follow my food plan/life plan to the best of my ability, using the tools I've collected over the years, and I leave the rest to God.  When I feel tempted and begin to struggle, I have two choices: succumb to the craving or pray to be relieved of it.

 

I repeat the 5th Step prayer quite often:

God, I offer myself to Thee

To build with me, 

And to do with me as Thou wilt.

Relieve me of the bondage of self

That I may better do Thy will.

Take away my difficulties that victory over them may bear witness

To those I would help of Thy power,

Thy love

And Thy way of life.

May I do Thy will always.

Cravings come along when I am exercising MY will and not God's.  When I am so self-centered that I forget everything and choose to dwell in self-pity and ego.

For today, I will stick to my food plan, as written, and I will not deviate from it. Today I will not relapse, with God's help. 

Today, I will be all that I am meant to be, without the burden of addiction weighing me down, physically, mentally & spiritually.

The Language of Letting Go July 4th

Celebrate

Take time to celebrate.

Celebrate your successes, your growth, and your accomplishments. Celebrate you and who you are.

For too long you have been too hard on yourself. Others have spilled their negative energy - their attitudes, beliefs, and pain - on you. It had nothing to do with you! All along, you have been a gift to yourself and to the Universe.

You are a child of God. Beautiful, a delight, a joy. You do not have to try harder, be better, be perfect, or be anything you are not. Your beauty is in you, just as you are each moment.

Celebrate that.

When you have a success, when you accomplish something, enjoy it. Pause, reflect, and rejoice. Too long you have listened to admonitions not to feel good about what you have done, lest you travel the downward road to arrogance.

Celebration is a high form of praise, of gratitude to the Creator for the beauty of God's creation. To enjoy and celebrate the good does not mean that it will be taken from you. To celebrate is to delight in the gift, to show gratitude.

Celebrate your relationships! Celebrate the lessons from the past and the love and warmth that are there today. Enjoy the beauty of others and their connection to you.

Celebrate all that is in your life. Celebrate all that is good. Celebrate you!

Today, I will indulge in the joy of celebrating. 

*****************************************************************

Why are we so eager to berate ourselves when we aren't perfect, yet as slow-as-molasses to celebrate our magnificence?  

I am not my Body; I am my Spirit & my Heart, my capacity to Love & to Give, my warmth & my smile.  

I am allowed to Celebrate my Life, and to love myself unconditionally, no matter WHAT!

I can count my blessings & feel gratitude for all the good in my life, without worrying about what may come along tomorrow, or what happened yesterday.

I will celebrate my beauty, which is not a form of 'ego' but a form of giving thanks to God for all that I Am. My inner beauty reflects through my eyes & through my Presence and shows the world that I carry God within me, whether my body is clad in sweat pants or a ballgown.


For today, I consider myself a Success and I will celebrate my Life and my Self! 

For today, instead of mourning what I don't have, I will celebrate all that I DO have and all that I AM!

Food for Thought

Rest in God

Fatigue is one of our worst enemies. Sometimes it is our own unnecessary busyness and over ambition, which wears us out, and sometimes, the cause of our fatigue seems unavoidable. Depression and weariness go hand in hand.

It was our habit to reach for something to eat when we were tired. We may still crave refined sugar and carbohydrates as a quick boost when our energy lags. Instead of these substances, which we know will let us down, we need to turn to our Higher Power for rest and refreshment.

Even better than waiting until we are fatigued to ask for help is the habit of resting continuously in God. We may then carry on our activities knowing that we are upheld by His power, and we will avoid the exhaustion of trying to accomplish everything by our own efforts.

May I remember to rest in You.

From Food for Thought: Daily Meditations for Overeaters by Elisabeth L. ©1980, 1992 by Hazelden Foundation

__________________
My Health Coach Website
My Blog

 

***********************************************************************

 

An member shared at a meeting that she was constantly busy, with way too much on her plate at any given time.  When she sat down to write out a to-do list, it covered 5 large pages, front & back.  

 

In this day & age, we tend to heap too much onto our already overflowing plates. We sign our kids up for 12 after school activities; we work full time jobs, we are housekeepers, cooks, care-takers & seamstresses.  We have to-do lists that leave us feeling totally overwhelmed, and we're stressed out from the moment we wake up til the moment we lay our heads down to sleep, probably 3 hours later than we ought to be.  We function on 5 hours of sleep, never feeling refreshed or rested. 

Running around like hamsters in a wheel, when do we take time to just Be? To enjoy silence and nature? To rest in the care & love of our Higher Power?

 

Surrounding ourselves with the busyness of life blots OUT the beauty and serenity we are meant to take from it.  All we hear is noise, and our mind-chatter drives us to keep going, keep doing, keep moving & keep striving for bigger & better. For more more more.

 

The beauty of life lies in minimalism. The more I reach FOR, the less I receive.  Being content and relaxed with what I have NOW is the key to happiness. When I am tired, I rest.  When I am overwhelmed, I ask for help.  When I am spiritually impoverished, and reach for food to fill that void, I will NEVER feel 'full'.  There isn't enough food or booze on earth to fill that particular hole in my soul.

 

Only God can fill that hole, when I allow Him into my life.

 

For today, I won't reach for food when I'm exhausted. I will remember HALT: Hungry Angry Lonely & Tired are 4 situations that present danger to me & my food plan.  Boredom is a fifth. 

 

 For today, I will stick to my food plan and stop trying to run the world. I am not God, and it is not my job.

Recovery Meditations: July 2nd

COMMITMENT

"One small step for a man ~
One giant leap for mankind."
Neil Armstrong


When I came into program, I was very overwhelmed by the idea of commitment. The thought of committing to a food plan or exercise regime was more than I could comprehend; in fact, I would feel panic rising in me at the thought of it. I would have dreams of being a mouse caught in a corner with nowhere to run. I would throw in the proverbial monkey wrench after a short time, and soon be on my own turf ... the desperation and depression which were my "old friends" would reappear, and I would be back into my "safe" and always-waiting disease.

This recovery program taught me "one day at a time;" it taught me to put one foot in front of the other; that for one day I could do what I couldn't do, or even fathom doing, for a lifetime. This is how I found abstinence. Breaking up my days, weeks, months and years into 24-hour periods allows me to live in the now, and not feel swallowed up in thinking that I have to do this for the rest of my life.

One Day at a Time . . .
The steps may seem small, it may even look as though I'm not moving at all, but with God's help I make giant leaps toward wellness and peace of mind.

~ Shana

__________________
My Health Coach Website
My Blog

 

******************************************************************

 

The two words I've removed from my vocabulary are "Never" and "Forever".  If I tell myself I must be abstinent 'forever', my mind rebels & the first thing I want to do is EAT.  If I tell myself I'll 'never' have another slice of cake, I get the same result.

 

For today.........for the next 24 hours, I can do ANYTHING! Breaking my time into 24 hour increments frees me up to live in the moment, and forces me to change my way of thinking.

 

 

Willpower

 

 

I've been reading blogs for the past 1/2 an hour, and came across the word 'willpower' at least a dozen times.

Do you think that losing weight & changing your lifestyle permanently has anything to do with Willpower?

Willpower suggests choice.....it hints at white-knuckling it through tempting situations that threaten to make you 'give in'.

This journey has nothing at all to do with willpower, but everything to do with Commitment.

When you commit yourself to making permanent changes in your life, you follow your program, whether you feel like it or not.  You eliminate off plan foods from your mind because they are NOT an option.  You agree to move your body every day, regardless of the weather, the heat, the 'motivation' or the situation at hand.  No matter how 'busy' you are, you find time to eat at your scheduled 'feeding times', because nobody is 'too busy' to tear open a packet & eat it.  Even if it means going into the ladies' room to do so.

Commitment suggests empowerment. It means you make a promise to yourself that you WILL do this, no matter what.  You WILL see goal, you WILL stick to your guns, even when you're tempted not to.

Use different words to train your mind to the task at hand.  You don't need one whit's worth of 'willpower' along your journey, what you need is Commitment.

For today, stick to your food plan & eliminate all the meaningless mind chatter that tells you how you 'can't' do this.  Why not? Why 'can't' you do whatever you set your mind TO do? 

Approach your program as you've approached many other commitments in your life.  Did you go to school every day, whether you felt like it or not? Do you go to work everyday, whether you feel like it or not? Do you clean your house when it gets dirty, whether you feel like it or not? Do you bathe yourself every morning, even when it's cold outside & you'd rather stay under the covers? Do you take care of your kids, even when they're whining & crying? Do you stop caring for them when the going gets tough & retire your parenting for another time, when things get better?

If you approach your weight loss journey the same way you approach all the other commitments in your life, with seriousness, you WILL get 'er done, watch & see!

For today, I will stick to my Food Plan; I won't worry about tomorrow; it isn't here yet.  Yesterday is a memory and all I need to focus on is the NOW.

Food for Thought: July 1st

Saying No

There are times when all of us find it difficult to say no. Even though we realize intellectually that we cannot have and do everything, we have trouble saying no to the foods, activities, and people that are not good for us.

Abstaining means saying "No, thank you" when offered something not on our food plan. We may think that we are afraid of hurting someone else's feelings by our refusal, but usually it is our own compulsive desire that prevents us from giving a firm no. Our sanity and health are more important than pleasing whoever is offering what we should not have.

As we work the program, we become more aware of the people and activities that use up our energies unnecessarily. Avoiding them gives us more time and strength for what means most to us. Learning when and how to say no is a very important part of our recovery. Most often, the person we need to say no to is ourself.

I pray for the strength to say no to what is not good for me.

From Food for Thought: Daily Meditations for Overeaters by Elisabeth L. ©1980, 1992 by Hazelden Foundation.

__________________
My Health Coach Website
My Blog

 

************************************************************

 

When I find myself unwilling to say No Thank You to a food that is potentially dangerous to my recovery, I have to ask myself Why.  Am I afraid of hurting your feelings, honestly? Or, am I afraid of depriving myself of something I desire?

 

Normally, I'm afraid of depriving myself. My own compulsive desires tend to dictate my behavior, and that is at the core of the issue.  I can lie to myself and say otherwise.  Or, I can accept the truth & have a plan in place to deal with tempting situations as they come up.

 

If I want to live a life that's free from the burden of addiction & obsession, then I will stick to my food plan of abstinence, No. Matter. What.

 

I will strengthen my Commitment Muscle by practicing the No Thank You statement, and I will not wallow in self-pity for having the courage to do so.

 

I will not strengthen my Compulsive-Overeating Muscle by worrying about anyone's feelings when it comes to MY program.  If someone is 'angry' with me for MY food choices, SO. BE. IT.

 

Every time I say OK to an off plan food, I run the risk of falling off the ledge with my program. I would never think to say OK to a 'small cocktail', yet I DO think of saying OK to a trigger food, from time to time.

 

For today, I pray for the strength to say NO to what I KNOW is not good for me. For today, I pray for the strength to avoid ALL of my addictive behaviors & to live within the boundaries of my program. 

Each Day a New Beginning June 30th

. . . in silence might be the privilege of the strong, but it was certainly a danger to the weak. For the things I was prompted to keep silent about were nearly always the things I was ashamed of, which would have been far better aired . . .
—Joanna Field

It has been said, "We are only as sick as the secrets we keep." Our emotional health as recovering women is hindered, perhaps even jeopardized, each time we hold something within that we need to talk over with others.

Sharing our fears, our hurts, our anger, keeps open our channel to God. Secrets clutter our mind, preventing the stillness within where our prayers find answers. Secrets keep us stuck. Our health, emotional and spiritual, depends on our commitment to shared experiences.

Every secret we have and tell someone, frees that person also to be herself and to grow. Sharing experiences relieves us of our shame and invites the forgiveness we must allow ourselves.

Steps Four and Five facilitate the process of sharing those secrets that block our path to God and to one another. Never can we be fully at peace with secrets left untold. Self-revelation cleanses the soul and offers us life.

I will be alert to the opportunities to share myself and cherish the freedom offered.

From Each Day a New Beginning: Daily Meditations for Women by Karen Casey © 1982, 1991 by Hazelden Foundation.

__________________
My Health Coach Website
My Blog

 

*********************************************************************

 

I've been blogging for 4 years now.  Sometimes I struggle with my 'secrets'.............should I let them be known? Should I keep them as secrets? 99% of the time, I share all of me.......because it helps me, and it helps others as well. 

When I share myself, I allow others the opportunity to know they are not alone with their struggles. Compulsive overeating *and addiction in general* is a disease of isolation.  We tend to hide out in shame & self-loathing, instead of sharing ourselves with others who suffer.  

When I started blogging in June of 2008, I weighed 225 lbs & I was taking a variety of medications for obesity related disease.  Slowly, I came out of my self-inflicted prison cell as I shared my journey and my self. As I released 100 pounds of excess fat, I also released my 'secrets', unburdening myself of all that excess baggage.

Sharing my fears, my hurts, my anger and my struggles keeps open my channel to God.  When I free my mind of excess, chaotic & compulsive thinking, I grow spiritually.  I connect with who I am at the core............my Being.....and I am freed from the materialistic things that once nourished me.

The only 'nourishment' I need comes from God, nature, and the beauty of being one with the Universe.

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

          ~Marianne Williamson

For today,  I will make manifest the glory of God that is within me.

Food for Thought: June 29th

The Joy of Abstaining

For someone who has suffered the physical, emotional, and spiritual anguish of compulsive overeating, abstaining is not a restriction but a release. We are released from indigestion, lethargy, fat, and the torment of never-satisfied craving.

If we dwell on the negative aspects of abstaining, such as the foods we are not eating, we will be unhappy. If we continue to concentrate on food, rather than on life and the spirit, we will find it difficult to abstain. The OA program gives us a new set of priorities and opens the door to new life if we are willing to leave our preoccupation with food outside and walk in.

It is good to feel full of energy rather than full of food. It is satisfying to discover new ways to give. There is deep joy in day-by-day spiritual growth. All of these joys become ours through abstaining.

We give thanks for the joy of abstaining.

From Food for Thought: Daily Meditations for Overeaters by Elisabeth L. ©1980, 1992 by Hazelden Foundation.

__________________
My Health Coach Website
My Blog

 

**********************************************************************

 

For years, I used food & drink to escape life; to ignore my Spirit, to impose my will instead of relying on God's will for me. I had closed the door to everything of importance, concentrating on food rather than on life.

 

So for me, abstinence is a release......... freedom from compulsive thinking & obsessing in general. Once I agreed *surrendered* to an abstinent lifestyle, I was released from stomach issues, lethargy, fat, and most of all, the torment of never-satisfied craving. 

Compulsive overeating forces me to look at life from the sidelines.......through a narrow window, where little light penetrates.  It forces me to isolate & feel separate from the rest of humanity.  There is no 'joy' in addiction.........only compulsive wanting, with no satisfaction. 

After the Binge

 

A thin, middle-aged woman walks into Safeway; well dressed, well put together, appearing to be in total control of herself and her life.  Some may look at her and think she’s lucky.

Appearances can be deceiving.

Unbeknownst to all that come in contact with her, that woman is on a mission.  Despite her cool, calm & collected exterior, a raging addict is driving her every thought, filling her mind with chaos.  Screaming in her ear that the ONLY thing she NEEDS is a bunch of junk food to calm down.  That’s all. Just hurry up and eat as much as you can, as quickly as you can, and then, I promise, You Will Feel Good.

All reason is gone from her mind, replaced by an overwhelming need to stuff herself and shut DOWN. Forget. Numb. Escape. Turn OFF her brain NOW. Stop thinking, worrying, counting, calculating. 

Afterward, when the sanity & awareness return, she is exhausted and beaten down.  As she comes out of the sugar coma, she asks herself WHY? What drove her to do it? Why did she lack the self-discipline that carries her through the rest of her life with relative ease? Why? Why does this ONE issue keep reappearing? Why can’t she get THIS under control?

The self-hatred she feels is palpable.  Nauseous & physically sick, dying of thirst, head pounding……..feeling enormous physical repercussions from the act of consuming thousands of useless calories over a one or two hour period of time.

She sleeps fitfully, tossing & turning, waking several times during the night to acid reflux and the ever pounding head. And the guilt.  The anxiety…..bordering on panic…….that overtakes her when she remembers the horrid and shameful act.

Yet, every time she wakes up, she thinks to herself, What Else Can I Eat Since I’ve Already Blown It?

If she eats more, she shuts herself down again, not having to think or worry about Why.

When she wakes to face the new day ahead, she feels incapable.  She wants to stay in bed, pull the covers up over her head, and hide. Dwell in the shame & self-loathing that’s overtaken her mind. Why get dressed & attempt to look good? For what? She feels unworthy of looking good.

She has to get up, though.  She goes thru the closet trying to find the ‘fat clothes’…….the loose fitting garments that will disguise her bloated & uncomfortable belly.  Everything feels wrong. Like so much effort.  It would be so much easier to go back to bed & turn the TV set on, and veg out instead.

The day is sunny & bright outside, but inside, she feels dark & shrunken. Hopeless.  She’s managed to push all that light out of her mind, and replace it with fear instead.

She swallows a few antacids & a couple of pain relievers.  Runs a brush through her hair, which looks limp & lifeless this morning…….exactly the way she feels.  The tears well up in her eyes as the memories of yesterday come flooding back, taking over her mind, as usual.

She drags herself through the day, vowing that she will never binge again.  

Until the next time.

By the grace of God, I’ve managed to stop this vicious cycle of binging & self-hatred.  That’s not to say I’ll never do it again.  It is to say that, for today, my program is more important to me than the temporary pleasure of a binge. 

The consequences are just too costly, too risky, and too debilitating; emotionally, physically & spiritually.

For today, I will stay committed to my food plan.  I will not dwell in the past, nor will I focus on the future.  All I have to do is concern myself with NOW.

And for NOW, I can do anything, with God by my side & a firm food plan to keep my mind from wandering too far off course.  Limited choices = serenity & inner peace.

For today, I will embrace my light & be all that God intends me to be.

The Language of Letting Go : June 28th

When Things Don't Work

Frequently, when faced with a problem, we may attempt to solve it in a particular way. When that way doesn't work, we may continue trying to solve the problem in that same way.

We may get frustrated, try harder, get more frustrated, and then exert more energy and influence into forcing the same solution that we have already tried and that didn't work.

That approach makes us crazy. It tends to get us stuck and trapped. It is the stuff that unmanageability is made of.

We can get caught in this same difficult pattern in relationships, in tasks, in any area of our life. We initiate something, it doesn't work, doesn't flow, we feel badly, then try the same approach harder, even though it's not working and flowing.

Sometimes, it's appropriate not to give up and to try harder. Sometimes, it's more appropriate to let go, detach, and stop trying so hard.

If it doesn't work, if it doesn't flow, maybe life is trying to tell us something. Life is a gentle teacher. She doesn't always send neon road signs to guide us. Sometimes, the signs are more subtle. Something not working may be a sign!

Let go. If we have become frustrated by repeated efforts that aren't producing desired results, we may be trying to force ourselves down the wrong path. Sometimes, a different solution is appropriate. Sometimes, a different path opens up. Often, the answer will emerge more clearly in the quietness of letting go than it will in the urgency, frustration, and desperation of pushing harder.

Learn to recognize when something isn't working or isn't flowing. Step back and wait for clear guidance.

Today, I will not make myself crazy by repeatedly trying solutions that have proven themselves unsuccessful. If something isn't working, I will step back and wait for guidance.

From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie ©1990, Hazelden Foundation.

__________________
My Health Coach Website
My Blog

 

************************************************************

 

The definition of insanity: Doing the same thing over & over, expecting different results.

 

When I force the issue, insisting on 'fixing' it my way, I solve nothing. In fact, I create an even bigger problem. 

 

 What makes me think I have all the answers?  Only God has the answers, and I trust Him to guide me, rather than my own stubborn pride.

Developing spirituality helps me to rely on my gut instincts; to back off when all the indicators point in that direction, and to listen to the message I'm being given.

When an answer does not appear to me immediately, I have the patience to wait until it does.  I don't have to act compulsively or impulsively, cramming my way down everyone's throat.

If I was an expert at living life, I wouldn't have eaten my way up to obesity or drank myself into oblivion.

For today, I will recognize when something isn't working or flowing. I will detach, step back, and wait for clear guidance. 

For today, I will not make myself crazy by trying to rule the world.

 

The Language of Letting Go: June 27th

Achieving Harmony

When a pianist learns a new piece of music, he or she does not sit down and instantly play it perfectly. A pianist often needs to practice each hand's work separately to learn the feel, to learn the sound. One hand picks out a part until there is a rhythm and ease in playing what is difficult. Then, the musician practices with the other hand, picking through the notes, one by one, until that hand learns its tasks. When each hand has learned its part - the sound, the feel, the rhythm, and the tones - then both hands can play together.

During the time of practice, the music may not sound like much. It may sound disconnected, not particularly beautiful. But when both hands are ready to play together, music is created - a whole piece comes together in harmony and beauty.

When we begin recovery, it may feel like we spend months, even years, practicing individual, seemingly disconnected behaviors in the separate parts of our life.

We take our new skills into our work, our career, and begin to apply them slowly, making our work relationships healthier for us. We take our skills into our relationships, sometimes one relationship at a time. We struggle through our new behaviors in our love relationships.

One part at a time, we practice our new music note by note.

We work on our relationship with our Higher Power - our spirituality. We work at loving ourselves. We work at believing we deserve the best. We work on our finances. On our recreation. Sometimes on our appearance. Sometimes on our home.

We work on feelings. On beliefs. On behaviors. Letting go of the old, acquiring the new. We work and work and work. We practice. We struggle through. We go from one extreme to the other, and sometimes back through the course again. We make a little progress, go backward, and then go forward again.

It may all seem disconnected. It may not sound like a harmonious, beautiful piece of music - just isolated notes. Then one day, something happens. We become ready to play with both hands, to put the music together.

What we have been working toward, note by note, becomes a song. That song is a whole life, a complete life, and a life in harmony.

The music will come together in our life if we keep practicing the parts.

Today, I will practice my recovery behaviors through the individual parts of my life. I trust that, one day, things will come together in a full, complete song.

From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie ©1990, Hazelden Foundation.

__________________
My Health Coach Website
My Blog

 

*************************************************************

 This is one of the most profound & beautiful readings I've posted in ages! All of the Recovery readings hit home, but this one touches my heart deeply.

Although my actions seemed disjointed at first, and I felt like I was floundering around, looking for some sort of harmony, I had faith.  I pressed on.  I did what I had to DO, whether I 'felt like' it or not.  I used the 'fake it til you feel it' mentality.

I was scattered and disconnected.........but I stuck to my food plan, no matter WHAT. I read the literature, I went to meetings, I reached out to others who were suffering.

And eventually, a pattern emerged.  A routine sprung up and IT kept me moving forward........carried along with the current, so to speak.  My 'music' sounded like nails on a chalkboard in the early days of recovery.  But in time, all those squeaky notes blended together to make a beautiful song. 

Practicing good behavior creates a new life; one that springs UP out of the ashes & rubble of addiction. Good actions create good thoughts, and that's what I've learned over the years.

When you have faith............everything comes together one day to create a complete, harmonious lifestyle that allows you to live in freedom, one day at a time.

“In God's economy, nothing is wasted.
Through failure, we learn a lesson in humility
which is probably needed, painful though it is.”
Bill W., Letter of 1942

  

 

The Language of Letting Go June 26th

Surviving Slumps

A slump can go on for days. We feel sluggish, unfocused, and sometimes overwhelmed with feelings we can't sort out. We may not understand what is going on with us. Even our attempts to practice recovery behaviors may not appear to work. We still don't feel emotionally, mentally, and spiritually as good as we would like.

In a slump, we may find ourselves reverting instinctively to old patterns of thinking, feeling, and behaving, even when we know better. We may find ourselves obsessing, even when we know that what we're doing is obsessing and that it doesn't work.

We may find ourselves looking frantically for other people to make us feel better, the whole time knowing our happiness and well being does not lay with others.

We may begin taking things personally that are not our issues, and reacting in ways we've learned all too well do not work.

We're in a slump. It won't last forever. These periods are normal, even necessary. These are the days to get through. These are the days to focus on recovery behaviors, whether or not the rewards occur immediately. These are sometimes the days to let ourselves be and love ourselves as much as we can.

We don't have to be ashamed, no matter how long we've been recovering. We don't have to unreasonably expect "more" from ourselves. We don't ever have to expect ourselves to live life perfectly.

Get through the slump. It will end. Sometimes, a slump can go on for days and then, in the course of an hour, we see ourselves pull out of it and feel better. Sometimes it can last a little longer.

Practice one recovery behavior in one small area, and begin to climb uphill. Soon, the slump will disappear. We can never judge where we will be tomorrow by where we are today.

Today, I will focus on practicing one recovery behavior on one of my issues, trusting that this practice will move me forward. I will remember that acceptance, gratitude, and detachment are a good place to begin.

From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie ©1990, Hazelden Foundation.

__________________
My Health Coach Website
My Blog

**************************************************************

As a compulsive person, I tend to think a bad day will last forever & ever. In reality, a bad day is just that: a bad DAY.

If I obsess and revert to old patterns of thinking & acting, I am setting myself back in my program of recovery. If I do that, I can recognize it for what it IS and nip it in the bud!

I don't expect every moment of my life to be without stress or trouble. My program of abstinence & sobriety keeps me feeling good spiritually, emotionally & physically, so that I'm able TO cope with whatever stress comes down on me.  Will I cope 'perfectly'? Probably not.  But this program has given me the tools to cope a whole lot BETTER than I would have a short time ago.

For today, I will take baby steps in practicing my recovery behaviors. I will not expect perfection from myself, nor will I expect every day to be rainbows & ponies.  

For today, I will practice acceptance, gratitude for all the good in my life, and detachment from matters  I have no business involving myself with.

Recovery Meditations: June 25th

STEP TWELVE

“One must really have suffered oneself to help others.”
Mother Teresa

Before coming into the program, I always worked in some sort of caring profession and was always either helping or “fixing” someone else ~ mostly in areas in which I had no personal experience. I was a people-pleaser and I would be there for someone else. If anything needed to be done, I was the one to offer to do it. But ultimately that backfired because I would feel used and resentful, and I would land up in the food as my way of compensating.

Since coming into program I have changed the way I help others. Instead of doing for others so they would like me -- or so I would get a pat on the back -- I share my experience, strength and hope with other compulsive overeaters. I have been where they have been, and I can share with them my struggles and how I've overcome them. Not only do I help others in the program with what I have learned, but, as they say, I can only keep what I have if I give it away. I get as much -- if not more -- from sharing with another in the program. How different this is from the way it was before I began the program, and I'm so grateful for that!

One day at a time...
I will share my experience, strength and hope with another compulsive overeater. By doing so, I get to keep what I have so generously been given in this program.

~ Sharon

__________________
My Health Coach Website
My Blog

 

*********************************************************

 

Feeling 'used & resentful', then eating or drinking to compensate..........boy can I ever relate to THAT!

 

When I give of myself for the right reasons, I expect nothing in return. When I give of myself out of guilt, that's when I feel used & abused............and entitled to soothe myself with excess. 

I set down boundaries with loved ones who suck the life out of me by being negative and demanding. It is not my 'job' to make THEM happy, and trying to do so is an exercise in futility. It hurts MY program to be a people-pleaser. Trying to 'fix' someone's life is crazy.........I have my own life to focus on, thank-you-very-much.

 

Today, I am able to share my experience, strength and hope with people who are in similar situations, with compulsive overeating problems and alcohol issues. I don't give 'free advice'...........I don't expect a pat on the back or that everyone is going to love me.  I share myself as a way of giving back, and to preserve what I have so generously been given in this program.

 

For today, I will reach out to others who suffer, AND, I will take care of ME by setting down boundaries with toxic loved ones.  For today, I pray that someone else can benefit from hearing about my struggles, and know they are not alone.

We're all in this together, one day at a time.

Each Day a New Beginning: June 24th

If you attach yourself to one person, you ultimately end up having an unhealthy relationship.
—Shirley MacLaine

Needing people in our lives is healthy, human and natural. Needing a single person to love at a very deep level, is also soothing to the soul's well-being. Love and attachment are not synonymous, however. They are close to being opposites. If we "attach" ourselves to others, our movements as separate individuals are hampered. Attachment means dependency; it means letting our movements be controlled by the one we are "hooked" to.

Dependency on mood-altering chemicals, on food, on people, means unmanageability in our individual lives. Many of us in this recovery program, though abstinent, still struggle with our dependency on a certain person or a certain friend.

The tools we are learning apply in all cases of dependency. It is healthy independence we are striving for-taking responsibility for our own lives-making choices appropriate for our personal selves. Loving others means letting them make their own choices unhampered by our "attachment."

Are my relationships attachments or are they based on love? I will take an inventory of them today.

From Each Day a New Beginning: Daily Meditations for Women by Karen Casey © 1982, 1991 by Hazelden Foundation

__________________
My Health Coach Website
My Blog

 

***************************************************

 

When I depend on mood altering substances, I am purposely detaching myself from God, my Higher Power.  When I think I can 'go it alone' is when I'm deceiving myself, and apt to revert to old coping mechanisms to get by.

 

When I rely on God to 'get by', I am on the right path to spiritual fulfillment. NO amount of 'using' can ever provide me with what I truly need to thrive.

 

Depending on others to make ME happy is also a mistake. If I try to control someone else, I fail miserably.  Seeking personal fulfillment from someone else never works. I find such fulfillment from within, and reliance on a Power greater than myself.

 

When I detach with love from another's issues is when I know I'm working my plan properly.  I can't fix the world, nor do I strive to do that.

 

I am a separate person, a single Being, and while I love many people in my life, I am not attached to them at the hip.  I recognize their need for independence, as well as my own need for independence. 

 

My mood is not reliant on my loved one's mood. If they are miserable, they can own it, not me. If I take on THEIR misery, I make myself miserable and then we ALL suffer.

 

For today, may I continue to detach with love from other people's problems. May I continue to live in the peace & serenity of abstinence & sobriety, one day at a time. 

Just For Today: June 23rd

Surrender

“We didn’t stumble into this fellowship brimming with love, honesty, open-mindedness, or willingness….When we were beaten, we became willing.”
Basic Text, p. 20

Surrender may be the necessary foundation for recovery, but sometimes we fight it. Most of us look back after some clean time and wonder why on earth we fought so hard to deny our powerlessness when surrender is what finally saved our lives.

As we recover, new opportunities to surrender present themselves. We can either struggle with everyone and everything we encounter or we can recall the benefits of our first surrender and stop fighting.

Most of the pain we experience comes from fighting, not surrendering. In fact, when we surrender, the pain ends and hope takes its place. We begin to believe that all will be well and, after some time, realize that our lives are much better as a result. We feel the same way we did when we gave up the illusion that we could control our using-relieved, free, and filled with fresh hope.

Just for today: Is there a surrender I need to make today? I will remember my first surrender and remind myself that I don’t need to fight anymore.

__________________
My Health Coach Website
My Blog

***********************************************************

When I was brought to my knees for the millionth time because of alcohol & food abuse, I was at rock bottom.  After reading Step 1: We admitted we were powerless over alcohol (food) and our lives had become unmanageable, I cried with relief! There was someone who understood what I was feeling? That remarkable state of powerlessness, that no matter HOW much I drank or ate, it would never be enough?

Yes. There was, and still is, a whole group of people who understand ME, sometimes even better than I understand myself! They are located at AA meetings and OA meetings all over the world, and I thank God for the fellowship!

When I fight my disease & compulsions, I give them power.  When I surrender my disease & compulsions, I empower myself by allowing God to run my life instead of me. 

No amount of food or booze on earth is enough to fill the spiritual void that existed in me when I hit rock bottom.  One's too many & a million's not enough. 

Today, I love myself..........the part of me that is alcoholic, the part of me that is a compulsive overeater...........all of me.  I am a child of God and worthy of love & everything good life has to offer.

I  approve of and accept myself. Who I am is good enough. My best yesterday was good enough; my best today is plenty good too.

God, help me let go of the messages that drive me into the crazies. I will give myself permission to be who I am and let that be good enough.

Recovery Meditations: June 22nd

SUNLIGHT OF THE SPIRIT

“Trust God and buy broccoli.”
Author Unknown


I heard that quotation in an OA meeting years ago. “What an odd thing,” I thought. “Why does God care what I buy?” But as years have gone by and my abstinence continues one day at a time, I see the meaning of that phrase and have deep respect for its principle.

I can trust God 'til the cows come home, but there is work to be done. A more familiar quote is: “Trust God but continue to row toward shore.”

Abstinence for me is not only refraining from compulsive overeating, but abstaining from what I call my “alcoholic foods.” They block that beautiful contact between me and the Sunlight of the Spirit. It is my responsibility to purchase, prepare, weigh and measure the best foods for my peace of mind ~ and to open the channel to a Power Greater than Myself. Now I live this way, with thanks to the twelve steps.

One day at a time...
I will be grateful that food does not have power today.

~ Gerri

__________________
My Health Coach Website
My Blog

 

*******************************************************

 

Trust God & buy broccoli..............means I have to do the footwork before God can help me stay the course.  As my mother used to say, "God helps those who help themselves."

 

If I choose to indulge in addictive trigger foods, I wind up blocking the light from my mind, and retreating back into myself where I isolate.  There is no beauty in withdrawal...........to quote Marianne Williamson:

".....  playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

 

 

When I am abstinent & true to myself & my food plan, I am not playing small. I am allowing my own light to shine, reveling in the beauty & magnificence of life!

 

For today, I will do the footwork & allow God to take over & do the rest.  For today, I will put abstinence at the TOP of my priority list. Without it, everything else falls to pieces, including my serenity.

Food For Thought: June 21st

Discipline

If we think of discipline in terms of punishment, we miss the more constructive meanings of the word. Discipline is order, training, practice, and study. Without it, our lives are ineffective and full of chaos. Before we came to OA, our eating patterns were probably chaotic. We may have been short of order in other areas, too.

Discipline is a tool, which produces self-respect and a feeling of accomplishment and satisfaction. When we discipline ourselves to eat three measured meals a day, we achieve physical and emotional results, which make our spirits, sing! The discipline of the OA program liberates us from the tyranny of self-will and self-indulgence.

As we develop trust in our Higher Power, we begin to see that the hardships and difficulties we face are means to spiritual development. Through them, we acquire self-discipline and strength. Our lives become ordered according to God's plan.

Make me willing, Lord, to accept the discipline of an ordered life. 

From Food for Thought: Daily Meditations for Overeaters by Elisabeth L. ©1980, 1992 by Hazelden Foundation.

**************************************************************

“We must all suffer from one of two pains: the pain of discipline or the pain of regret. The difference is discipline weighs ounces while regret weighs tons.”

~Jim Rohn

  

An abstinent lifestyle is a disciplined one...........chaos-free and structured.  Prior to finding this program, my entire life was out of control. I ate and drank what I wanted, when I wanted to.  And that self-centered behavior produced chaos, misery and a huge disconnect from my Spirit.  Doing things 'my way' wasn't working...........I wasn't capable of running my life while controlling the world at the same time.  <Snicker>

When I surrender to the program, I discipline myself to an ordered life.  I enjoy the fruits of my labor in the form of spiritual and emotional development, and my physical being is healthy at the same time.

When I stop assigning labels to life's events, such as 'good' or 'bad', I am able to accept the hardships that come about as a means to my spiritual development.  What seems to be 'bad' can turn out to be the best thing that's ever happened to me........God pushing me towards growth, knowing I wouldn't do it on my own without His interference.

For today, I am grateful for the discipline of my ordered life.  While some may call a structured routine 'boring', I call it a miracle.

Food for Thought: June 20th

Head Hunger

Those of us who overeat are responding to distorted signals. When we consume food that harms rather than helps our bodies, we are eating in response to some irrational demand in our head rather than because of legitimate physical hunger. The mental obsession with food is an illusion, but one to which we cling with great tenacity.

When we feel "hungry," we need to stop and evaluate the signal. Is it coming from our stomach or from our head? Often, it is after a meal that we most strongly crave something more to eat. This is either because we ate so fast that our stomach has not had time to register satisfaction or because eating has awakened a giant, insatiable appetite for more. It is frequently our mind that wants more, even after our body has had quite enough.

Emotions such as fear, anger, and anxiety can trigger "head hunger." We need perception and insight to know whether the hunger comes from our body or our mind.

May I learn to respond to the legitimate needs of my body. 

From Food for Thought: Daily Meditations for Overeaters by Elisabeth L. ©1980, 1992 by Hazelden Foundation.

*****************************************************************

Most often, I have the desire to continue eating after I've had a meal.  I've awakened a giant, insatiable appetite for 'more', that also extends to 'more' in other areas of my life.  Excess never manages to fill the false need, and my desires frequently outweigh my actual needs.

When I live inside my head, my thoughts propel me into action. What makes me think I must respond to every thought that pops into my mind??? They are just thoughts.........not demands for action!

I rarely experience true stomach hunger, since I eat small meals throughout the day. If one of my meals is off schedule, then I DO feel true hunger, which is not an emergency! For most of my life, I've treated the slightest bit of hunger AS an emergency, often eating far more than my body needed, in an effort to squash down the panic.

Nowadays, I've learned to respond to the legitimate needs of my body, rather than responding to the chronic mind chatter that tells me to eat eat eat.  When my stomach feels full, I can stop eating, push the plate away, and recognize 'enough'. Food is used to fuel my body instead of to shut up the voices in my mind urging me to eat to the point of feeling sick.

I still have my moments of mind hunger though. And sometimes I give in to it. No amount of food on earth will satisfy my mind, however, and that's the risk I take when I attempt to do that.

For today, I will feed my body with healthy food at regular intervals. When my mind urges me to have a taste of a food that is dangerous to my abstinence, I will recognize mind hunger & not confuse it with physical hunger.

The Language of Letting Go: June 19th

The Language of Letting Go

Making Life Easier

Life doesn't have to be hard.

Yes, there are times we need to endure, struggle through, and rely on our survival skills. But we don't have to make life, growth, recovery, change, or our day-to-day affairs that hard all the time.

Having life be that hard is a remnant of our martyrdom, a leftover from old ways of thinking, feeling, and believing. We are worthy, even when life isn't that hard. Our value and worth are not determined by how hard we struggle.

If we're making it that hard, we may be making it harder than it needs to be, said one woman. Learn to let things happen easily and naturally. Learn to let events, and our participation in them, fall into place. It can be easy now. Easier than it has been. We can go with the flow, take the world off our shoulders, and let our Higher Power ease us into where we need to be.

Today, I will stop struggling so hard. I will let go of my belief that life and recovery have to be hard. I will replace it with a belief that I can walk this journey in ease and peace. And sometimes, it can actually be fun.

From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie ©1990, Hazelden Foundation.

__________________
My Health Coach Website
My Blog

 

**************************************************************  

 

Staying abstinent is hard; being fat is hard: choose your hard.

 

Sometimes I make my own problems, cause my own struggles, and make all of life a whole lot harder than it ought to be.  I tend to be my own worst enemy.

Recovery is a beautiful state of being. It is not a state of chaos and struggle, but a peaceful, accepting state of mind.  I have the ability to choose exactly how  I approach this journey, and I choose to approach it with eagerness and an attitude of fun.  Choosing to eat healthy foods is not boring or a burden to me, but something I look forward to & enjoy.

For today, I will not be a martyr. I will not complain about my burdens, or lament one moment of what transpires today, no matter how 'bad'.

For today, I believe that I can walk this journey in ease & peace, with God by my side & joy in my heart.

Food for Thought: June 18th

Homesickness

There are certain foods, which we will always associate with home and which make us nostalgic to recapture the past. No matter how much we eat, we cannot go back home and again be the babies and little children we were. No food will satisfy our longing for the love, care, and safety most of us associate with home. Even (and especially) if our dependency needs were not met when we were young, eating unnecessary food now will not help.

As we grow in relationship with our Higher Power, we begin to believe that home lies ahead, rather than behind us. We begin to see that our homesickness is for a spiritual state instead of a physical place. Wherever we are, we are pilgrims and travelers, not sure of our final destination but drawn toward something more than what we know in this world. We sense that though we are in the world, we are not of it, that we are homesick for a spiritual fulfillment.

May our homesickness bring us closer to You. 

From Food for Thought: Daily Meditations for Overeaters by Elisabeth L. ©1980
**************************************************************

"We are not human beings having a spiritual experience; we are spiritual beings having a human experience."
~Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

I can't go back home & be the child I once was; I can't recapture time when life was oh-so-simple and mother was in charge of my care.  Nor do I WANT to, frankly..........

As my relationship with God has grown stronger over the years of recovery, I realize that home DOES lie ahead, rather than behind me. My final destination is a state of spirituality where my body is no longer a part of me.

To have spent SUCH a long time dwelling ON my body makes me sad. I am not my body; I am my soul and my spirit, my capacity for love and caring, my ability to give TO my fellowman.

For today, I will let go of the obsession with my physical state of being and focus on my spiritual condition instead.

Each Day a New Beginning: June 17th

Wisdom never kicks at the iron walls it can't bring down.
—Olive Schreiner

God grant us the serenity to accept the things we cannot change. Many times - yesterday, last week, today, and even tomorrow - we'll come face-to-face with a seemingly intolerable situation. The compulsion to change the situation, to demand that another person change the situation, is great. What a hard lesson it is, to learn we can change only ourselves! The hidden gift in this lesson is that as our activities change, often the intolerable situations do, too.

Acceptance, after a time, smooths all the ripples that discourage us. And it softens us. It nurtures wisdom. It attracts joy and love from others. Ironically, we often try to force changes that we think will "loosen" love and lessen struggle. Acceptance can do what our willpower could never accomplish.

As we grow in wisdom, as we grow in understanding, as we realize the promises of this program, we'll stand ready, as women, to weather all our personal storms. Like the willow in the wind, we'll bend rather than break. And we'll be able to help our sisters become wise through our example.

My lessons are not easy. But they will ease my way. Better days begin, today.

From Each Day a New Beginning: Daily Meditations for Women by Karen Casey © 1982, 1991 by Hazelden Foundation

*******************************************************

 One of the hardest lessons I've learned along this journey is Acceptance; to accept that which I am powerless to change.

Since I am a 'fixer' by nature, I tend to demand an intolerable situation be changed! Who am I to play God? It's not my job to change what IS; it's my job to ACCEPT what 'is' and to remain peaceful throughout.  Each situation I face in life is there for a reason.  Each situation I face brings with it a lesson which I am to learn and grow from. 

If everything in life were easy, where would wisdom be learned? It's through my struggles & difficulties that I learn and grow. 

If I weather my personal storms with grace & acceptance, and if I don't rage against whatever faces me, I will be like a willow in the wind; bending rather than breaking.

My addictions have broken me in the past, brought me to my knees in defeat & humiliation.  Through those defeats came recovery; without them I wouldn't have found the inner peace & strength I enjoy today.

For today, I will not lament my difficulties. Instead, I will embrace them, knowing such difficulties have arisen as a means to help me achieve wisdom. 

For today, I will Accept the things I cannot change.

Food for Thought: June 16th

Satisfaction Comes from Inside

Why do we continually expect to be satisfied by taking in and possessing things from the outside? Amassing material goods and possessions more often than not stimulates rather than satisfies our appetite. What we do and contribute satisfies us more than what we have and consume.

When we are at peace within ourselves and in contact with our Higher Power, we make fewer demands on the outside world. When we are able to use our abilities in productive work and can give of our emotional and spiritual strength to other people, we feel replete.

Nothing from the outside can bring us happiness if we are at war with ourselves. Chronic dissatisfaction indicates that we have not turned our will and our lives over to God's care, but are still trying to run the show egotistically. Complete surrender opens the way to satisfaction.

I want to surrender to the inner needs of my spirit. 

From Food for Thought: Daily Meditations for Overeaters by Elisabeth L. ©1980, 1992 by Hazelden Foundation.

*******************************************************************

No matter how much I eat or drink, it's never enough. Material possessions cannot bring me satisfaction or inner peace, either.  The more I look for satisfaction from the outside, the less I find.

When I give back is when I do feel complete. When I surrender my will and my life to God is when I reap the benefits of inner peace.

Being at war with myself for 40 years, and hating my body kept me separated from humanity, separated from my Self, and insisting that my dissatisfaction was due to circumstances beyond MY control.  It was someone else's fault that I was unhappy.

Allowing my ego to stay in charge brings me unhappiness and dissatisfaction. Until and unless I surrender, I stay trapped in my body and mind, refusing to embrace my inner Spirit.

For today, I will allow God to run the show.  I will put my ego in storage and rely on my food plan to keep me abstinent and at peace with myself and the Universe.

Food for Thought: June 15th

Our Barometer

When we find ourselves preoccupied with thoughts of food, we know that something is wrong. Our obsession acts as a barometer, which measures emotional pressure. If we are out of tune with our Higher Power, if doubt, resentment, and egotism are taking over, then our disease symptoms begin to surface. It is time to stop and take inventory.

The experiences, which other compulsive overeaters share with us, give insight into our own behavior. We gain a sharper awareness of our own defects and are less prone to blame external circumstances for our hurts and difficulties.

If we are becoming obsessed with food again, or if we are rationalizing deviations from our eating plan, we need to carefully examine our emotional and spiritual life. Something is out of gear. Concentration on Steps Ten and Eleven is especially important when compulsive thoughts and behavior indicate that all is not well.

Make me sensitive to the state of my emotional and spiritual health, I pray. 

From Food for Thought: Daily Meditations for Overeaters by Elisabeth L. ©1980, 1992 by Hazelden Foundation.

*************************************************************

When my emotional pressure cooker is cranked UP, I start thinking about food.  How nice it would feel to have a binge on junk food in an effort to shut my thoughts down.  When I question my capabilities, or when I start worrying about things OUT of my control, that's when my thoughts turn to food.

Concentration on Steps 10 & 11 is especially important when compulsive thoughts & behaviors indicate that all is not well:

• Step 10 - Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
• Step 11 - Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood God, praying only for knowledge of God's will for us and the power to carry that out

 When I find myself wanting to binge, I have to stop and send God a Knee-Mail. I need to repeat the Serenity Prayer, and remember that I'm not responsible for running the world and playing God.

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change;
The courage to change the things I can
And the wisdom to know the difference.

I cannot change my past, what's done is done.  I cannot change situations I have no control over, such as the possibility of a lay-off I face in September.  I can change my future by living for today, to the best of my ability, and by staying true to my food plan. I can change myself, by recognizing my character defects and working to change/surrender them. 

For today, may I recognize the fact that a binge does not help me in any way, nor does it change a situation for the better.  A binge only worsens every aspect of my life and causes fear to take over instead of spirituality.  For today, may I recognize that God will guide me safely through whatever dilemma I face.

Food for Thought: June 14th

 

Positive Addiction

Since we seem to have addictive types of personalities, we can make this characteristic work for us, rather than against us. We can develop life-enhancing habits - positive addictions.

The OA program is an example of positive addiction. We become habituated to writing down a food plan, attending meetings, making phone calls, and working the program. We replace the negative addiction to compulsive overeating with a positive commitment to abstinence.

Other activities, which we perform regularly take on the character of positive habits. Exercise is a healthy routine. Hobbies and creative self-expression can be habitual parts of our daily schedule. Whenever we choose a life-enhancing activity and perform it regularly until it becomes an ingrained habit, we are using our addictive tendency to build ourselves up rather than tear ourselves down.

Thank You, Lord, for positive addictions. 

From Food for Thought: Daily Meditations for Overeaters by Elisabeth L. ©1980, 1992 by Hazelden Foundation.
********************************************************************

 What each of us can contribute to the world is unlike every other contribution. Each talent is slightly different from every other talent. And they are all needed. We are all needed.

Creativity - any kind - writing, photography, cooking, childcare, weaving, managing, woodworking - nourishes the self that feels isolated and worthless. And as the self is nourished, it grows; it recovers.

Recovery means changing our lifestyle. It means reaching out to others and being there for one another. It means rejoining the human race by giving of ourselves. Our talents are the gifts the human race awaits, needs, in fact. Do we know our talents?

I will search out my secret dreams today. In them lie my talents. I will develop them.

For today, I will replace my unhealthy addictions with healthy ones instead. I will work on developing my creativity & sharing it with the universe.

Food for Thought: June 13th

Food for Thought

Research

In OA meetings, we sometimes hear reports of "research" done by a member who breaks abstinence in order to find out whether he or she is still a compulsive overeater. The experiment invariably proves that once a compulsive overeater, always a compulsive overeater. Among the results are remorse, regained weight, and weakened control.

It has been said that we are like someone who has lost a leg. We do not grow a new one. We can, nevertheless, learn to live with our disability if we are willing to abstain and follow the OA program. Most of us find that we cannot go back to eating binge foods moderately, but we can avoid them. We are like the alcoholic who can lead a normal, satisfying life as long as he or she stays away from alcohol.

Further research is not necessary. By accepting our need for a disciplined eating plan, we can benefit from the experience of those who have been in the program longer than we.

May I remember that further research is unnecessary. 

From Food for Thought: Daily Meditations for Overeaters by Elisabeth L. ©1980, 1992 by Hazelden Foundation.

************************************************************

I've done so much "Research" into my compulsive overeating, I should have a PhD in the subject!
Experimenting with dangerous fire WILL burn me.  How many times should I 'prove' that to myself before I understand?

Although I've been burned 1,000 times with my research, I may choose to do so again, just to be 'sure.'  But not today.  For the next 24 hours, I choose to live in Peace & Serenity by sticking to my Food Plan which does not include trigger foods of any kind.


In my dresser drawer I keep a small plastic case. Inside that case is a candy bar & a shooter size bottle of booze, along with an index card with the Serenity Prayer written upon it.  Any time I'm interested in seeing my life go down the DRAIN, I can open that plastic case, remove the contents and ingest them.

For today, I will hang up my chemistry coat & stick to the proven facts: I was a COE, I am still a COE, and I will always BE a COE.  No further 'proof' is necessary.  If I pick up a candy bar, it will have the same effect on me as picking up a 'small' glass of wine.

For today, I rejoice in my abstinence & hold onto it like the precious treasure it IS!

Each Day a New Beginning: June 12

If people only knew the healing power of laughter and joy, many of our fine doctors would be out of business. Joy is one of nature's greatest medicines. Joy is always healthy. A pleasant state of mind tends to bring abnormal conditions back to normal.
—Catherine Ponder

Feeling joyful may not come naturally to us most of the time. We may, in fact, have to "act as if" with great effort. We may not even recognize genuine joy in the beginning. A technique for finding it is living fully in the present and with gratitude for all we can see, touch, and feel.

The open and honest expression of gratitude for the presence of the ones closest to us now creates a rush within our breasts, a rush that will be shared by our friends, too. Joy is contagious. Joy is freeing. Joy brings into focus our distorted perceptions. Greeting life with joy alters every experience for us and for those we share it with.

I will bring joy wherever I go today. I will give the gift of joy to everyone I meet.

From Each Day a New Beginning: Daily Meditations for Women by Karen Casey © 1982, 1991 by Hazelden Foundation.

**************************************************

Greeting the new day with a smile isn't always easy. Stress and worry may prevail, which can easily block out joy.  When my to-do list is longer than my arm, it can seem like there is no joy in the grind.

If I treat every situation with either Acceptance, Enthusiasm or Enjoyment, then I'm able to feel joy & spread that wealth.  When I stay rooted in the moment, I don't have to feel anxiety about the past or the future and I allow myself to feel the joy of now.

  “I want a life that sizzles and pops and makes me laugh out loud. And I don't want to get to the end, or to tomorrow, even, and realize that my life is a collection of meetings and pop cans and errands and receipts and dirty dishes. I want to eat cold tangerines and sing out loud in the car with the windows open and wear pink shoes and stay up all night laughing and paint my walls the exact color of the sky right now. I want to sleep hard on clean white sheets and throw parties and eat ripe tomatoes and read books so good they make me jump up and down, and I want my everyday to make God belly laugh, glad that he gave life to someone who loves the gift.”
― Shauna Niequist, Cold Tangerines: Celebrating the Extraordinary Nature of Everyday Life

For today, I will laugh out loud, at least twice, but probably more.  For today, I am grateful for the gift of life I carry within me, and the ability to bring joy with me wherever I go. 

Recovery Meditations: June 11th

PAIN

“Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses
your understanding. Even as the stone of the fruit
must break, that its heart may stand in the sun,
so must you know pain."
Kahlil Gibran

There was much to be unhappy about in my childhood. There was also a lot of unhappiness in my adult life. Until I found The Recovery Group online, that unhappiness was the driving force in my life. That force robbed me of the ability to see and enjoy the many wonderful things that I had experienced. I wore a cloak of sadness, bitterness and resentment ~ I had been short-changed. It was the old glass-half-empty, glass-half-full story....poor me.

Being able to share the pain and unhappiness I have known has freed me from the power it had over me. Clearing away the wreckage is enabling me to see my part in some of the unhappiness I've known. It has enabled me to see more clearly that there is so much for which I can be grateful. It has enabled me to see that I truly AM the person of value which I had represented myself to be towards others. I am integrating that person into the "unacceptable" being I carried within. I have seen others here endure challenge, pain and hardships with so much grace. I have learned that pain is, indeed, inevitable. I have the choice whether to dwell on the pain morbidly, or to instead focus on the joy of this day.

One day at a time...
I will live in the joy of this day and I will strive to share this wonderful gift of self-acceptance to others in program.

~ Karen A.

**********************************************************

My childhood was full of pain........I don't know a compulsive overeater who's childhood wasn't.  I developed a 'poor-me' attitude along with compulsive overeating habits way back when I was 5 years old and trying to deal with a traumatic revelation: that I was adopted. That news hit me like a brick in the face, and immediately left me feeling isolated & absolutely separate from the rest of the world. No brothers or sisters to talk to, nobody that looked like me, nobody I could pour my heart out to.......it just felt overwhelming to me and shut me DOWN.

As an adult, I am grateful for the fact that I was adopted; I was the lucky one, in reality.  After finding my birth family and discovering a bunch of shockingly horrible facts, I was able to move ON and become whole, finally, after 40 years of struggle. 

That was the day I began my journey to recovery; the day I found my biological family.  I was finally 'real', not dropped on the porch by The Stork, and, as ugly as the story was, it set me free.

Pain is inevitable. I have the choice of dwelling in the painful past or focusing on the joy of this day, and celebrating.

For today, I choose to move forward in my life & my recovery, and to rejoice in who I am. 

For today, I thank God for my life.........all of it.......the good, the bad & the ugly.