Recovery Meditations: June 11th

PAIN

“Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses
your understanding. Even as the stone of the fruit
must break, that its heart may stand in the sun,
so must you know pain."
Kahlil Gibran

There was much to be unhappy about in my childhood. There was also a lot of unhappiness in my adult life. Until I found The Recovery Group online, that unhappiness was the driving force in my life. That force robbed me of the ability to see and enjoy the many wonderful things that I had experienced. I wore a cloak of sadness, bitterness and resentment ~ I had been short-changed. It was the old glass-half-empty, glass-half-full story....poor me.

Being able to share the pain and unhappiness I have known has freed me from the power it had over me. Clearing away the wreckage is enabling me to see my part in some of the unhappiness I've known. It has enabled me to see more clearly that there is so much for which I can be grateful. It has enabled me to see that I truly AM the person of value which I had represented myself to be towards others. I am integrating that person into the "unacceptable" being I carried within. I have seen others here endure challenge, pain and hardships with so much grace. I have learned that pain is, indeed, inevitable. I have the choice whether to dwell on the pain morbidly, or to instead focus on the joy of this day.

One day at a time...
I will live in the joy of this day and I will strive to share this wonderful gift of self-acceptance to others in program.

~ Karen A.

**********************************************************

My childhood was full of pain........I don't know a compulsive overeater who's childhood wasn't.  I developed a 'poor-me' attitude along with compulsive overeating habits way back when I was 5 years old and trying to deal with a traumatic revelation: that I was adopted. That news hit me like a brick in the face, and immediately left me feeling isolated & absolutely separate from the rest of the world. No brothers or sisters to talk to, nobody that looked like me, nobody I could pour my heart out to.......it just felt overwhelming to me and shut me DOWN.

As an adult, I am grateful for the fact that I was adopted; I was the lucky one, in reality.  After finding my birth family and discovering a bunch of shockingly horrible facts, I was able to move ON and become whole, finally, after 40 years of struggle. 

That was the day I began my journey to recovery; the day I found my biological family.  I was finally 'real', not dropped on the porch by The Stork, and, as ugly as the story was, it set me free.

Pain is inevitable. I have the choice of dwelling in the painful past or focusing on the joy of this day, and celebrating.

For today, I choose to move forward in my life & my recovery, and to rejoice in who I am. 

For today, I thank God for my life.........all of it.......the good, the bad & the ugly.