For Today: November 13th

I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did.  I said I didn’t know.

Mark Twain

How truly gratifying it is not to be afraid to say, “I don’t know.”  One man confided that his fear of admitting ignorance was so great he made up “facts” to support his position in an argument.

It sometimes happens that, as children, we are rebuked by teachers or parents for failing to give a correct answer, perhaps leaving us with a resolve never to admit ignorance again.  But we no longer need to act on that resolve; we can sweep it away along with the other “wreckage” we discard when we take inventory.

For Today:  Recognition of one’s limitations is a mark of intelligence, not ignorance.   If I don’t know the answer, I am not afraid to say so.

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Nobody has 'all the answers' all the time.  Pretending to know everything is a sign of arrogance which is a character defect I pray to be relieved of in Steps 4 & 5.

I am happy to sweep this flaw away with the other wreckage when I take my searching & fearless moral inventory in Step 4.  I know I am guilty of LOVING to have all the answers, and this is one trait I'd be a whole lot better off WITHOUT.


For today, I will practice saying I Don't Know.

For Today: November 12th

There never were, since the creation of the world, two cases exactly parallel.
Lord Chesterfield

When I am tempted to give advice to newcomers, expecting them to work the program my way, let me remember that each person is different, with different experiences and background.  Sometimes the only thing we have in common is our disease.  I gladly share what works for me, but if a newcomer resists my suggestions, I let go of my notions of what is right and wrong.  I encourage and support a person's decision to try another way.

For Today:  There is only one hard and fast rule in sponsoring: to let those I sponsor know that in OA they have freedom of choice in what they will eat, how much they will weigh and how they will work the program.

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There are many ways to achieve abstinence.  My food plan isn't necessarily the food plan for YOU.  As long as a person is willing to accept some sort of food plan, then he will flourish within the program of OA. 

At meetings, I sometimes hear a whole bunch of reasons why the person 'can't' stick to their food plan.  When we make excuses, we are not fully embracing the principles of the program.  OA is a program of honesty & truth..........not excuses.  The group meetings I used to attend were filled with people who had more excuses than they had commitment and/or understanding of what abstinence truly means.  A person who's been around OA for years & years and STILL hasn't found abstinence is not working her program, in my opinion.
I quit attending those meetings because I couldn't sit back and hear the same old & tired stories..........I need to find inspiration at a meeting..........words and stories that keep ME going. 

Is that selfish? Maybe yes, maybe no.  As a member with long term abstinence, I can't sit around a meeting room and hear, over and over again, how abstinence is 'not doable'.  I need to hear that abstinence IS doable, and how we must go to any lengths to achieve it.

OA meetings are all different; it's important for me to find one that I feel comfortable with, and where I fit in.  I am not there to give advice..........but I AM there to take what I need and to give something useful BACK. 

AA meetings are not filled with tons of excuses; AA meetings are filled with joy, hope, laughter and real sharing.  I hear of struggles and ways to overcome those struggles.  I draw inspiration from AA meetings and leave there refreshed & rejuvenated.........

In the rooms of 12 step meetings, we take what we need & we leave the rest.  For today, I pray to stay connected to my fellow OAers in an honest & REAL way.  The truth shall set me free, and anything in between will keep me sick and practicing my disease of excess.

For Today: November 11th

Mingle your joys sometimes with your current occupations.
Linnaeus

We OAs can be very somber indeed.  To be sure, compulsive overeating is a serious business, but so is alcoholism---and there is a great deal of joy and laughter at AA meetings.  AAs love a good joke, especially when it on themselves.

Oh, it is entirely true that fat is no laughing matter, and God knows we've been ridiculed enough.  Still---it's good to laugh, to blow away that "heavy does it" attitude when it descends on me like a thundercloud.  

For Today:  Joy and lightheartedness are never out of place.

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I choose to laugh these days because, God knows, I've cried enough over the years, thanks to my disease of compulsive overeating.

I look back at my life and I can tell you how much I weighed and what size I wore at any given time.  I charted my success as a human being by a number on a scale and a number on the inside of a dress tag.  Wasting all that valuable time and energy, obsessing about my size and what to eat or not eat.

I am a compulsive dieter.  And truly, there is nothing funny about THAT.

Embracing abstinence has relieved me of my obsession with ME.  Once I stepped out of my own way and allowed God to take over my life, I was finally able to laugh at MYSELF.  Giving up the 'heavy does it' attitude has enabled me to lighten up and to laugh.  Every moment of every day does not have to be spent contemplating my weight, my food intake, or any diet related matter.

Today, I can laugh at myself without hesitation.  In spite of all the suffering, I allow myself to experience JOY in the JOurneY of life.

For today, I will laugh, I will dance, I will experience the freedom of not eating whatever I want.  For today, I will stick to my food plan and enjoy LIFE, one moment at a time.

For Today: November 10th

Whatever games are played with us, we must play no games with ourselves, but deal in our privacy with the last honesty and truth.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

I cannot play games with myself where my disease is concerned and expect to be sane and spiritually fit.  I won’t be arrested for driving under the influence of compulsive overeating, but I can be just as irrational in my thinking, just as estranged from my values as a drunken driver.  I played that game before I knew a better way to live.

Once I took the first step—admitted food had me beaten---I found I could look for other honest answers without fear.

For Today:  My abstinence and my sanity depend, above all, on being honest with myself.

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 I cannot play games with myself where my disease is concerned and expect to be sane & spiritually fit.  How true is that???

When I tell myself the 'just this once' lie, or, 'it's a special occasion' lie, then I'm thrusting myself back into the jaws of compulsive overeating yet again.  

When I ram my head into a brick wall, I will get hurt......and I know that, yet, my disease makes me think I can do it and get away with it.

This disease lies, it cheats, it steals........it robs me of my sanity and tries to convince me otherwise!

 

I have found a better way to live, thanks to OA, and for today, I choose to practice abstinence and sobriety.  For today, Thursday, I will practice abstinence NOW instead of telling myself to start fresh on Monday.  Monday never comes, but Thursday is the perfect time!

For Today: November 9th

Nothing is more desirable than to be released from an affliction, but nothing is more frightening than to be divested of a crutch.

James Baldwin

Are there any compulsive overeaters  who do not want to be free of the consequences of their disease?

No one wants to suffer the effects of obesity and/or enslavement to food.  But the real question is, am I willing to give up the temporary oblivion food provides?  That crutch enabled me to hobble through life when nothing else seemed to help.

Yes, the thought of losing that crutch is frightening.  But in OA, no one is asking me to give up the food and go out and try to make it as a normal eater.  Instead, they give me the one solution OA has: the twelve-step program of recovery.  Step one administers the first dose of truth: I am powerless over food; and steps two and three tell me what to do about that powerlessness.

For Today:  I surrender my crutch of food to a Power greater than myself, which is doing for me what I could never do for myself.

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I want to be free of the symptoms of my disease, but, am I willing to go to any lengths to find that freedom?

Am I willing to give up my crutch of excess food?

Am I willing to give up the mind-numbing effects of a binge?

Am I willing to work the 12 steps to the best of my ability as a way OUT of this mess?

Wanting something & being willing to do what it TAKES to get it are two different things.

A crutch can feel like a security blanket........all warm and fuzzy..........until that crutch turns against me and  takes over my entire life.  What started out as an aid eventually turned into an albatross.

For today, I AM willing to give up my crutch and to stand on my own two feet.  With God behind me, I can do anything, one day at a time.

For Today: November 8th

I choose to put in order my thoughts and hang the walls of my mind with pictures of whatsoever things are lovely and of good report.

Joseph Murphy

Do I have the power to choose my thoughts, my moods?  Yes!  I can choose to put love at the center of my being, so its warmth and cheer will be with me always.  I do not have to let the world’s doing dictate my moods.  I can determine what I want to think about, how I want to be.

When I pray and meditate, I choose faith; I expect the best and make room for it in my mind.  I choose to let God’s light be my strength and my joy.

For Today:  I choose things that are lovely to put in my mind.

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I once thought I could not control my moods.  If I woke up 'on the wrong side of the bed', as my mother would say, then I was in a foul mood all day long.  I never bothered to try and change it.........I allowed my mood to ooze out and spoil everybody else's mood too.  That was selfish and toxic behavior that helped me to overeat.  In fact, it entitled me to soothe myself with excess food and drink.  Since I was so surly and spoiling everybody's good time, then I should overeat since: 

1.  I'm such a rotten person anyway

2.  My bad mood was bigger & more powerful than me so what's the sense in trying to fight it?

3.  So go ahead and eat to your heart's content.........you'll feel better.

Know the feeling?

Nowadays, I acknowledge the fact that I can change my moods.  I can choose to hang the walls of my mind with pictures of whatsoever things are lovely and of good report.

For today, I will not look at my glass as being half-empty; I will look at it as being half-full.  I will choose to think lovely thoughts and I will strive to see the beauty in everyone and everything.  

For Today: November 7th

There is no fruit which is not bitter before it is ripe.

Publilius Syrus

Experience is not acquired without bruises and pain.  That’s why I say I am grateful to be a compulsive overeater.  Without the disease, I would not know of Overeaters Anonymous and the twelve step program of recovery, which has been called a blueprint for a sane and happy life.

To wish for the rewards of growth without having to go through the growing pains is futile.  Avoidance of pain stops growth cold; and when growth stops, regression is next.  Recovery calls for going through each step, feeling all the feelings and having the patience to wait for results.

For Today:  I accept with gratitude whatever progress I am making, however small.

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“When growth stops, regression is next.”   When I ditch my food plan, the rest of my LIFE regresses.  And it does so at the speed of light.

Why clean the house if I’ve ditched my program?  Today is my ‘day off from abstinence’ so let’s really MAKE it a day off………..from all of life.  Why get dressed?  Why be on time to work, or, why show up at ALL? 

When I make a decision to ditch my food plan, I’m making a decision to halt my recovery entirely.  I will numb myself (with excess food) from all of LIFE, and I will shun recovery & avoid even thinking about it.

It’s so easy to get back into the mindset of denial……….I can do that at the drop of a pin.

For today, I choose to stay abstinent & true to my program of recovery.  I choose to move forward instead of backwards. 

For Today:  November 6^th

A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step.

Lao-tzu

An OA member who has maintained a weight loss of more than 200 pounds for nearly ten years is the same person who was barely able to walk in the door of her first meeting.  There are a few people around who remember her as she was then—grotesquely obese, wearing a size 52 dress that was bursting at the seams, and unable to sit on any of the chairs in the meeting room.

But she took that first step. She came to the meeting, got help in dragging a bench to the table where she sat with the others.

She kept right on coming back, parlaying that single step into a size 3 dress, a 110 pound body and a brand new life.

For Today:   Now is the time to begin; tomorrow is too late.

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This reading always chokes me up……………..to think a woman who had felt THAT wretched could turn her life around with ONE single step just floors me! 

A reading like this gives HOPE to the hopeless.  If SHE can do it, I can do it………..if I can do it, YOU can do it.  ALL things are possible through OA when we are willing to take that first step in admitting powerlessness over food.

Some may read this passage and say, "Well, I do not fit into the 'grotesquely obese' category! This does not apply to me."   The way this woman felt is the same way any person with a weight issue feels: shameful, out of control, disgusted/disgusting...................I do not have to suffer a 200 lb weight problem to understand and to feel the same way.  For a compulsive overeater, a 20 lb weight problem feels just as terrible as a 200 lb weight problem.  

Abstinence means 'not overeating'..............sticking to a pre-determined food plan that leaves me satisfied but overfed.  When I am abstinent, I have plenty of time to do other things..........to stop the obsession with food and to focus on more important things.  At first, the day drags on and on.........there's 'nothing to do' because all my time had previously been spent on food related thoughts and actions.  What will I DO with myself?

Other things, is the answer.  I will write, I will read recovery material, I will clean my house that was neglected because of devoting all my time to food related activities...........I will go for a drive, I will call a friend or family member.  The list gets longer as I stay abstinent on a daily basis. 

Abstinence is my only goal: when I fulfill that commitment, everything else falls into place.  That's how I take my LIFE back, and how I CREATE a NEW life for myself, one day at a time.

When I struggle, I will return to this For Today reading and I will be inspired to press ON.  With God's help and the 12 Steps as my guide, I can do ANYTHING!