For Today: March 10th

For Today:  March 10^th

Life is not so short but that there is always time enough for courtesy.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

There is love in courtesy. It says I care about others’ feelings, that I wish to contribute to their comfort and wellbeing.

Above all, courtesy is treating people as I would like to be treated. I can be courteous, even when I am angry or hurt, without compromising what I believe is right.  Courtesy has nothing to do with right or wrong, it has everything to do with self-respect, which is the wellspring of respect for others.

It is as important to show courtesy to children as to adults. Courtesy is taught at home by parents who act courteously toward their children. There are many benefits in showing children courtesy, beginning with the self-esteem it helps build in them.

For Today: Acting with courtesy toward myself and others contributes much toward feeling good about myself, and enables me to share it with others.

I didn’t grow up in an environment where Courtesy was expressed. There was always anger & arguments to witness. The only people who were shown courtesy were strangers…….anger was reserved for family members!  The message was: Put on a happy face for outsiders….tell them what they WANT to hear; never show them your true feelings; don’t trust them; don’t let them know about the family secrets. In other words: be phony.

Nowadays, I find my behavior to be directly related to how I’m working my Program. Am I treating myself & others with courtesy & respect? Then I am treating my Program with the respect it deserves as well. If I am not treating myself & others with respect & courtesy, I am not treating my Program properly either….it’s all tied in.

I can’t think myself into a new way of acting; I have to act myself into a new way of thinking.

When I treat others with courtesy, I am taking the high road. When I treat others with abruptness or less than courteous words, I am taking the low road & generally, my Program will suffer because of it.

If I expect to work my Program properly & stay Abstinent, ALL of my behavior has to follow suit. I have to stay Honest, I have to act in a courteous manner & I have to keep Serenity at the top of my list.  If I find myself backsliding with my behavior, I find my Program backsliding as well.  While I do NOT have to be a doormat for others, I DO have to show them respect & courtesy, even if they don’t deserve it.  I deserve it.

For today, I pray that I may have true tolerance & understanding. I pray that I may keep striving for these difficult things. I pray for the presence of mind to treat others with the respect & courtesy that I need to treat them with to preserve MY Program.

For Today: March 9th

For Today: March 9^th

The real fault is to have faults and not to amend them.

Confucius

Anger, resentment, jealousy, envy, as Bill W. states in the Big Book, “are dubious luxuries of normal men.” For me, a compulsive overeater, they are poison. With defects unattended, the insanity of compulsive overeating returns and that is death, spiritually and emotionally if not physically. Have I been careless with my program? Do I get into ego-driven arguments? Do I sulk in silent scorn? Am I quick to criticize with a biting tongue? These are dangerous traps. They can destroy my ability to think or act with purpose.

I know that change is possible, that I do not have to live with these crippling defects. I have steps to follow, and they lead to freedom.

For today: I am ready to change---to be rid of the faults that are hampering my recovery

"Having a grievance or a resentment is like drinking poison and thinking it will kill your enemy.”

Nelson Mandela

When I struggle with my program, it inevitably means that one of my character defects is  leading ME by the nose.  If I tend to get a bit careless with my food selections & serving sizes, I am also prone to be sulking around with some chip on my shoulder at the same time.  Maybe my husband aggravated me, and I am turning toward food to squash the resentment I may be feeling.  When I recognize what I’m doing, I can sit down with him & express my feelings; why it is that he’s aggravated me. Perhaps he’s not cleaning up after himself which makes ME feel like a servant.  It’s easy to overeat when I feel less than worthy.

Isn’t THIS a big part of what’s at the root of compulsive overeating? Feeling the need to stuff food along with feelings, rather than getting them aired out & discussed? In some ways, it’s easier TO overeat and forget about the issue at hand. But then, I sacrifice my Abstinence which always always ALWAYS leads to misery & self-flagellation.  What a cycle.

If I want freedom, I must realize it comes with a price tag. I must first ask God to clear my mind so I will be receptive to His message & His guidance in handling the issue at hand.  I will ask for direction in choosing my words carefully, so as not to use a biting tongue which ruins my attempt at  a calm, purposeful  conversation. One of my biggest character defects is a sharp tongue & I pray to be relieved of that defect.  I get nowhere when I wind up saying things in an ugly fashion, or if I wind up having to make amends for bad behavior. If that bad behavior doesn’t START, I have nothing to make amends for.

For today, I pray that all who come in contact with me will feel better for it. I pray that I may be careful not to harbor those things in my heart that put people off. 

For today, I pray for a softer, gentler way with my words.

For Today: March 8th

For Today: March 8^th

Silence is the perfectest herald of joy: I were but little happy if I could say how much.

William Shakespeare

There are many in OA who are known to be working a good spiritual program, maintaining abstinence and normal weight---and who are neither on the “speaker circuit” nor among those who always volunteer to pitch in at meetings.

Their silence does not disparage in any way the sharing of their more articulate fellow members. It is simply a fact, one which enlightens us with the understanding that we can be “happy, joyous and free” and communicate that condition not through words but in that unmistakable glow found in the beautiful faces of recovering compulsive overeaters.

What we are does indeed speak louder than what we say.

For Today: It is not necessary to describe my happiness; it is enough to feel it. My family, friend and fellow OAs will know it from what I do and say in going about the everyday business of living.

When I attended my very first OA meeting, I was nervous & anxiety ridden because I didn’t know what to expect. When I walked into that room & looked around tentatively, a couple of women came right over to welcome me into the fold. They looked at me and one of them said, “You have the glow of happiness surrounding you….the light of God in your eyes & in your face.”  The other woman agreed wholeheartedly. I was shocked! I had been abstinent & sober for a month or so, and I FELT good, but it was amazing to hear these women SAY it out loud!  

Abstinence brings with it peace of mind & serenity. That peaceful serenity shines like a beacon from the face & eyes of every person who has found it.

Sometimes, it’s true, no words ARE required to convey what I am feeling. Other OAers are tuned into what the Face of Abstinence looks like.

For today, I pray to talk less & to listen more. I do not need a deluge of words to feel happy, joyous & free. When it’s in my heart, it’s on my face, in my walk, and written all over me like an open book.

THIS is what OAers have that others may want for themselves. 

For today, I pray to convey the OA message to others who may be looking for peace, serenity & joy in THEIR lives.

For Today: March 7th

For Today: March 7^th

Those things are dearest to us that have cost us most.

Michel de Montaigne

I paid a very high price to get to OA, and my life of abstinence and sanity are worth more to me than anything. But it is easy to forget. The lonely days of compulsive overeating can become hazy and I can get caught up in the cares of a day, running here, going there. It is easy to drift into old habits and thought patterns that block my usefulness to myself and others. I need to remind myself that the OA program is one of action: going to meetings, working the steps, making twelfth-step calls—all part of my life of abstinence and sanity.

For Today: There is nothing in the world I would take in exchange for what I have in OA. I go to any length to keep it.

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“There is nothing in the world I would take in exchange for what I have in OA.”  This is SO true! I often think, if I won the lottery, what would change? Nothing much is the answer. I’d pay off my mortgage and take a vacation to an exotic place, that’s about it.  But, I can afford my mortgage and I’ve already been to several exotic places, with plans to visit more one day.

My abstinence is THE best thing in my life and there is nothing I’d trade for it!  It’s taken me 40 years to realize the importance of my program, however. I could lament the years I wasted  yo-yo dieting & looking for ‘the answer’ to my weight issues & compulsive behaviors, but what’s the point in looking back? All I find when I DO look back is behavior that can lead me back to the depths of despair.  So, when I DO look back, that’s what I see: a place I never want to go back to.

While it’s easy to let old habits & thoughts slip back into reality, staying true to my Food Plan PREVENTS that from happening. 

Nowadays, I can look at the here and now,  & know that, for today, I can do anything. I can choose to be abstinent or I can choose to go back to the insanity of compulsive overeating.  As if there IS a choice?!

For today, I pray that I may follow God’s guidance, so that spiritual success shall be mine. I pray that I may never doubt the power of God and so take things into my own hands.

For Today: March 6th

For Today: March 6^th

Let him go where he will, he can only find so much beauty or worth as he carries.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

I know what “geographical cures” are. I have taken some. Wherever I went, I ended up the same way: in the despair and degradation of compulsive overeating and the attitudes that go with it.

Today I am worth enough to give myself the best---the best thought, the best care. I guard my abstinence and my program as though they were my dearest possessions----and they are. Wherever I go, I expect good, beautiful and worthwhile things, and I find them. I treat myself and others with respect, and I do not react in kind to people who behave badly toward me. My self-worth comes not from others but from myself, from caring about my own opinion and about what I do and say.

All that I am and hope to be comes from giving myself the time---and the patience, compassion and understanding---to grow.

For Today: Caring for myself is the best way I know to care for others and to find the good in everything.

Phew, I’ve taken many, many geographical cures myself over the years.  For some reason, I thought ‘things would be different’ if I packed up the family & schlepped them to a new location. That somehow, magically, my marriage would improve, I’d lose weight & life would be grand! It all existed for me, in a new location.

What a crock.

Wherever I went, I took MYSELF with me. Without a change in attitude from ME, what could possibly change in the new location??

Nothing, is the answer.

I am now permanently rooted & I have no desire to run away, looking for life to be better. Life  now is just  as it should BE! Because I am abstinent & I have serenity. THIS is what I’ve tried to achieve through the years & I’ve found it through OA, not from fancy houses in exotic locations.

For today, I pray that I may be willing to keep up my personal growth. I pray that I may keep stepping up on the rungs of the ladder of life.

For Today: March 5th

For Today: March 5^th

^{Nothing contributes more to peace of soul than having no opinion at all.
Georg Christoph Lichtenberg}

^{An oldtimer spoke on opinions at a meeting and this is what she said: “I had a great many opinions: ‘advocates of positive thinking are stupid: there’s nothing in this world that justifies optimism or cheerfulness; there is definitely no God.’ I held onto these opinions, stoutly defending them as my disease progressed. In the end, there seemed to be nothing good anywhere, no satisfaction in anything except food.}

^{“That was the bottom I had to hit before finding OA. I was one of those hard-nosed ones who got zapped right away with a spiritual awakening. As a result, I quit the debating society and put aside my opinions. I can’t describe to you the peace of mind I’ve had since then.”}

^{For Today: A peaceful soul is more important than having opinions.}

^{What led me to believe MY opinion was the gospel truth, I wonder?  I guess it was part of my need to ‘run the world’ and control everyone in my life. It was the ‘my way or the highway’ attitude that led me *in part* to find such comfort in excess food. I was setting myself up to feel Entitled to eat! If I dwelled in misery, shouldn’t I eat a big bowl of ice cream to ‘feel better’?  It took me a long time to decide I was NOT going to live in misery…I decided to live in happiness & gratitude instead. No matter how badly my life may be going at any given time, I can find SOMETHING to be grateful for!}

^{If I can find nothing to feel grateful for, then something is wrong with my Program. It’s then that I need to work the Steps, especially Step 4, and take an honest inventory of myself & my actions.}

^{If I find myself expressing too many opinions, I have to ask myself what I’m looking for? Acceptance from others?  Other people’s opinion of me is none of MY business.} 

^{My opinions are not what’s important in my life. My Program is what’s important; my family, my job, my friends, my relationships. I can let go of an argument nowadays without having to ‘win’ it. I am not in a contest to be Right all the time. In fact, one of the best things I can say these days is this:}

^{I don’t know.}

^{What a RELIEF it is not to have to run the world, or be right all the time, or win arguments, or have more knowledge than the next guy on any given subject.} 

^{For today, I pray that I may be grateful for God’s spirit in me. I pray that I may try to live in accordance with IT, instead of with MY opinions.}

^{For today, I pray to align my opinions with the principles of OA for this is where the truth really lies.}

For Today: March 4th

For Today: March 4^th

Those undeserved joys which come uncalled and make us more pleased than grateful are the ones that sing.

Henry David Thoreau

It is a sudden pleasant turn of events, a delightful surprise that makes me know again that God works in mysterious ways. In times of despair, a friend happens to call. When I’m shopping for just the right gift, a totally unexpected suggestion presents itself. What I need most comes my way, but in a different, and far better, form than I could have imagined. Again and again I see the work of a Higher Power in my life. God’s way is smooth and uncluttered. It is my will that is the stumbling block. When I overcome my need to control every event, every minute, my day is an adventure. Who knows what undeserved joys will come my way?

For Today: I do not have to think about tomorrow or yesterday or brood about how things should be. God is directing this show, and I don’t want to miss my cue.

I find this reading to be SO true! When I am abstinent and giving control of my life over to God, all sorts of unexpected joys seem to find ME, especially when I don’t expect it. Expectations breed resentments; this I’ve learned in OA as well. When I keep my mind free & clear & ready to accept whatever comes my way, many joyous events unfold before me. I am able, then, to find pleasure in simple things …. I don’t need fancy or excessive to feel happiness….simple works even better! Suddenly, I am able to appreciate things I had never before taken the time TO notice; the beauty of the clouds, the smile of a small child.

When I stay open to hear God’s message for me, it comes in loud & clear! When I face a problem, I can turn it over to Him & through prayer & conscious contact with God, the answer to my dilemma will present itself. This is God speaking to me…..I feel that in my heart.

For today, I pray that I may see God’s meaning in my life. I pray that I may gladly accept what God has to teach me.

For Today: March 3rd

It is when we try to make our will conform with God's that we begin to use it rightly.
Bill W.

It is easy to confuse certain desirable attributes with undesirable ones. To have humility, for example, does not mean to feel inferior. On the contrary, it means feeling equal--neither less nor more worthy than anyone.

The same is true of willfulness, which I have often confused with determination, perseverance and individualism. The latter are qualities belonging to people who think and act in a balanced, rational, adult manner. Self-will is an infantile expression of omnipotence, the delusion that I can force life to be exactly as I want it to be. That is the insanity of compulsive overeating.

Seeking to conform my will with God's is what restores me to sanity. It gives me abstinence, peace of mind and freedom from obsession.

For Today: To know what God would have me do is my first priority, for that knowledge smooths my path and frees me to live with energy and love.

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The insanity of compulsive overeating is "forcing life to be exactly as I want it to be."  The I Will Eat What I Want When I Want To mentality because I Deserve It; forcing others to conform to MY way of thinking; expecting to live life on MY terms, by MY rules. Compulsive overeating is the refusal to grow up, become an adult & accept life on life's terms. Self-will gone berserk.

When I recognize these facts is when I am able to surrender MY way & to develop some new ways of thinking & coping with life. Excess food doesn't help me Cope, it helps me REFUSE to cope. Excess food doesn't make me happy, it makes me miserable. Letting go & letting God direct my life is a relief from the burden of running the world.  When I stop trying TO run the world is when I can stop caving into MY desires & start living life according to God's will FOR me.

For today, I pray that I may feel that God's power is mine. I pray that I may be able to face anything through that power.

For Today: March 2nd

For Today: March 2^nd

He prayeth best, who loveth best

All things both great & small

For the dear God who loveth us

He made and loveth all.

Samuel Taylor Coleridge

Prayer is the language of love. Though I may feel frustrated or angry, I reach out in an attempt to give up my will for God’s, my pride for humility. Prayer is recognizing health qualities as well as defects.   Prayer is the power ready to be tapped by an open mind. Prayer turns my thoughts toward, instead of against me, showing me that I want to change.

I pray to see those defects and self-deceptions that keep me from being spiritually whole. I pray for the clarity to see honestly, to be rid of illusions.

For Today: A loving heart makes its own prayer, and prayer makes for a loving heart.

 

What is Addiction if not illusion & dishonesty? If I were able to deal with life on life’s terms, I never would 

 have developed addictions as coping mechanisms! For an addict to say he’s not in Denial is self-deception. 

Honesty leads to serenity & patience issues from it; grief, anger & fear are resolved in its embrace, while trust & faith are nourished by serenity, and love thrives in its presence. 

 Once I opened my eyes and saw myself for who I really was, I didn’t like the person looking back at me in the mirror. It wasn’t just my weight that I disliked; it was my behavior, how I treated others, my self-centeredness, my desire for instant gratification consumed me. And I, in turn, consumed everything I could get my hands on.  Anesthetizing myself from Pain by practicing my addictions also anesthetized me from Joy. I wound up existing instead of living. I was a slave to whatever I could put into my mouth to stuff back the emotions I was afraid to Feel. 

Once I decided to become Abstinent, I traded Denial for Reality. Reality wasn’t  *and isn’t* always a pleasant place to be, but for me, it’s a far better place to be than living with Addictions chaining me down & holding me captive.  A program of continued restricted food intake, or Abstinence, forces me to deal with Reality & to discard that fantasy-land I dwelled in for so long. My fantasy-land was a place where I felt no pain, everything & everybody was perfect, I was loved completely just for being ME, without having to give an ounce of myself in return. It was a place where nothing bad could ever touch me; I was immune from sadness & grief.

Reality isn’t like that at all. But, one day at a time, I am carving out my Reality & it’s based on integrity, kindness & service to others. When I stay based in Reality, I don’t feel the need to consume excessive amounts of food

For so many years, I thought it was my Body that needed changing when in fact it was my Soul.

Today, .  I know that I must give unconditional love in order to receive it, to stay Abstinent in order to thrive, to Feel pain & grief in order to appreciate Serenity & Joy.

For Today, I pray that I may keep pouring out what I receive. I pray that I may keep the stream clear & flowing.

For Today: March 1st.

For Today: March 1^st

All things are possible until they are proved impossible—and even the impossible may only be so, as of now.

Pearl S. Buck

If I set my sights short with the thought that weight loss is enough, I may never life life to its fullest, enjoying its pleasures & gifts. I was not meant to live in spiritual poverty. God’s gifts are mine for the taking, to be kept only by sharing them with others.

If today it seems impossible to be free of my most deeply-rooted faults, I accept that reality only for today. Tomorrow takes care of itself, and there is every reason to believe all things are possible. Have I not received gifts I once thought were impossible?

For Today: If abstinence with peace of mind and physical wellbeing Is possible, can anything be impossible?
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Amazing Grace, by John Newton

Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound

That saved a wretch like me.

I once was lost but now am found,

Was blind, but now I see.

What an appropriate song to convey the message of the For Today reading!  I once WAS lost, in the fog of compulsive overeating, where addiction ruled with an iron fist & serenity  & spirituality were nowhere to be found.  Only through Abstinence have I learned HOW to live, one day at a time, without the chains of addiction weighing me down.

“Yea, when this flesh and heart shall fail,

And mortal life shall cease,

I shall possess within the veil,

A life of joy and peace.”

Isn’t this the purpose of life on earth? To find & hold onto Joy & Peace? Through God’s amazing grace & the programs of Medifast & OA, I have found Joy & Peace & I will hold onto them for dear life. 

I once thought losing weight & keeping it off was impossible. The thought of 'never' eating another cookie or slice of pie was just too overwhelming & final; what was the point of living like that? Deprived & miserable. Little did I know that my life of over-indulgence was the Deprived & Miserable life! When I choose to live my life One Day at a Time, I can do ANYTHING! I don't know if I will 'never' have another cookie or slice of pie again; but I DO know that for today, I choose to stay Abstinent.

Yesterday is gone & tomorrow isn't here yet. I will focus on the next 24 hours only. When I take that attitude towards life, NOTHING is impossible or undoable!

For Today, I pray that I may not be weary, disillusioned, or disappointed. I pray that I may not put my trust in the ways of the world, but in the way of the spirit. that I may not be weary, disillusioned, or disappointed. I pray that I may not put my trust in the ways of the world, but in the way of the spirit.