Recovery
Meditations: January 23rd
~ CRITICISM
~
To avoid
criticism, do nothing, say nothing, be nothing.
Elbert
Hubbard
For so many years, I thought I was the
only kid who had been raised with criticism. Fear of criticism is one of the
reasons I walked on eggshells at home. I learned to fear success in anything
and everything. If I could only be "middle of the road," maybe no one
would notice me and I wouldn't have to deal with criticism. I did what I had to
do to survive.
As I grew older, I received
constructive criticism by wise people, but sadly, I didn't know how to utilize
such a gift. It hurt me, and I turned away from well-meaning people. I rebelled
against their advice.
The program has taught me that all
criticism is not bad. I never thought a day would come where I was comfortable
with it. I recently took a correspondence course to help me with my work, and
naturally the instructor had to critique my work. I worried about that before I
took the course. In fact, I'd wanted to take that class for years, but had not
been able to handle the cold fear that stabbed at me when I looked at the
application. I finished the class last month. There was much criticism to help
me to learn, and I didn't shrink from it. I learned from it. It's all in the
attitude.
One Day at a Time . . .
I will pray to remember I have choices.
I will pray to keep my attitude in a good place so that I might see all the
opportunities available to me.
~ Rhonda ~
*****************************************************
Each Day a New Beginning
She had trouble
defining herself independently of her husband, tried to talk to him
about it, but he said nonsense, he had no trouble defining her at all.
—Cynthia Propper Seton
To recover means to learn who we are, independent of friends, children, parents, or intimate partners. It means knowing how we want to spend our time, what books we like to read, what hobbies interest us, what our favorite foods are. It means understanding self-direction. It means charting a daily personal course and staying on it. It means defining our responsibilities and carrying them out.
Having an independent identity does not preclude depending on others for certain needs. Perhaps we revel in massage--both getting and giving. Maybe we share the expenses of a household or the responsibilities of raising children. Depending on others to meet their responsibilities does not negate our independent identity; it strengthens it. We choose where and when to be dependent. Healthy dependency complements healthy independence.
Recovery is giving me options. Each day gives me new opportunities.
—Cynthia Propper Seton
To recover means to learn who we are, independent of friends, children, parents, or intimate partners. It means knowing how we want to spend our time, what books we like to read, what hobbies interest us, what our favorite foods are. It means understanding self-direction. It means charting a daily personal course and staying on it. It means defining our responsibilities and carrying them out.
Having an independent identity does not preclude depending on others for certain needs. Perhaps we revel in massage--both getting and giving. Maybe we share the expenses of a household or the responsibilities of raising children. Depending on others to meet their responsibilities does not negate our independent identity; it strengthens it. We choose where and when to be dependent. Healthy dependency complements healthy independence.
Recovery is giving me options. Each day gives me new opportunities.
From Each Day a New Beginning: Daily Meditations for Women by Karen Casey
© 1982, 1991 by Hazelden Foundation.
*******************************************************************
Food for Thought
Working the Steps
The OA program operates on three levels. Abstaining from compulsive overeating takes care of the physical aspect of our disease. For our emotional and spiritual health, we need to work the Twelve Steps.
In each of us, there is a need and desire to grow spiritually. At first, we may not acknowledge this need, but as our physical illness improves and our emotions begin to stabilize, we become aware of inner urgings and promptings that can come only from our Higher Power. If we set aside time each day to listen to this inner voice, we facilitate our spiritual growth.
Working the Steps requires that we be as honest as possible with ourselves at each stage of our development. A program sponsor who has walked the way before us is an invaluable aid. Above all, we must desire to grow. We have spent much of our lives overgrowing physically. Now is the time to catch up emotionally and spiritually. If we make a sincere beginning, our Higher Power will lead us through each Step as we become ready to take it.
Lead me, Lord, and bless my work.
The OA program operates on three levels. Abstaining from compulsive overeating takes care of the physical aspect of our disease. For our emotional and spiritual health, we need to work the Twelve Steps.
In each of us, there is a need and desire to grow spiritually. At first, we may not acknowledge this need, but as our physical illness improves and our emotions begin to stabilize, we become aware of inner urgings and promptings that can come only from our Higher Power. If we set aside time each day to listen to this inner voice, we facilitate our spiritual growth.
Working the Steps requires that we be as honest as possible with ourselves at each stage of our development. A program sponsor who has walked the way before us is an invaluable aid. Above all, we must desire to grow. We have spent much of our lives overgrowing physically. Now is the time to catch up emotionally and spiritually. If we make a sincere beginning, our Higher Power will lead us through each Step as we become ready to take it.
Lead me, Lord, and bless my work.
From Food for Thought: Daily Meditations for Overeaters by Elisabeth L.
©1980, 1992 by Hazelden Foundation.
********************************************************************
The Language of Letting Go
New Energy Coming
Fun becomes fun, love becomes love, and life becomes worth living. And we become grateful.
—Beyond Codependency
There is a new energy, a new feeling coming into our life. We cannot base our expectations about how we will feel tomorrow, or even a few hours from now, on how we feel at this moment.
There are no two moments in time alike. We are recovering. We are changing. Our life is changing. At times, things haven't worked out the way we wanted. We had lessons to learn. The future shall not be like the past.
The truly difficult times are almost over. The confusion, the most challenging learning experiences, the difficult feelings are about to pass.
Do not limit the future by the past!
Reflect on the beginning of your recovery. Haven't there been many changes that have brought you to where you are now? Reflect on one year ago. Haven't you and your circumstances changed since then?
Sometimes, problems and feelings linger for a while. These times are temporary. Times of confusion, uncertainty, times of living with a particular unsolved problem do not last forever.
We make these times doubly hard by comparing them to our past. Each situation and circumstance has had its particular influence in shaping who we are. We do not have to scare ourselves by comparing our present and future to a painful past, especially our past before we began recovering or before we learned through a particular experience.
Know that the discomfort will not be permanent. Do not try to figure out how you shall feel or when you shall feel differently. Instead, trust. Accept today, but do not be limited by it.
A new energy is coming. A new feeling is on the way. We cannot predict how it will be by looking at how it was or how it is, because it shall be entirely different. We have not worked and struggled in vain. It has been for and toward something.
Times are changing for the better. Continue on the path of trust and obedience. Be open to the new.
Today, God, help me not judge or limit my future by my past. Help me be open to all the exciting possibilities for change, both within and around me.
Fun becomes fun, love becomes love, and life becomes worth living. And we become grateful.
—Beyond Codependency
There is a new energy, a new feeling coming into our life. We cannot base our expectations about how we will feel tomorrow, or even a few hours from now, on how we feel at this moment.
There are no two moments in time alike. We are recovering. We are changing. Our life is changing. At times, things haven't worked out the way we wanted. We had lessons to learn. The future shall not be like the past.
The truly difficult times are almost over. The confusion, the most challenging learning experiences, the difficult feelings are about to pass.
Do not limit the future by the past!
Reflect on the beginning of your recovery. Haven't there been many changes that have brought you to where you are now? Reflect on one year ago. Haven't you and your circumstances changed since then?
Sometimes, problems and feelings linger for a while. These times are temporary. Times of confusion, uncertainty, times of living with a particular unsolved problem do not last forever.
We make these times doubly hard by comparing them to our past. Each situation and circumstance has had its particular influence in shaping who we are. We do not have to scare ourselves by comparing our present and future to a painful past, especially our past before we began recovering or before we learned through a particular experience.
Know that the discomfort will not be permanent. Do not try to figure out how you shall feel or when you shall feel differently. Instead, trust. Accept today, but do not be limited by it.
A new energy is coming. A new feeling is on the way. We cannot predict how it will be by looking at how it was or how it is, because it shall be entirely different. We have not worked and struggled in vain. It has been for and toward something.
Times are changing for the better. Continue on the path of trust and obedience. Be open to the new.
Today, God, help me not judge or limit my future by my past. Help me be open to all the exciting possibilities for change, both within and around me.
From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie
©1990, Hazelden Foundation.
***************************************************************
Moving Forward
Time past is gone forever, and we can never go back to it. Even our disease progresses forward. We cannot expect to control it by a return to measures which may have worked for a time in the past. Those methods eventually failed, and trying them again will only bring us to the same point of failure.
The only way to avoid repetitious failure is to move forward creatively as our Higher Power leads us. Each day is a new creation, and each day brings new lessons and opportunities. We build on what is past, but we do not need to repeat it.
Moving forward involves risking what is unknown. The old, familiar rut, depressing as it is, is a known quantity. Moving out of it requires that we have courage and that we trust in One who knows and cares. To move on, we must act. Insights do not produce growth until they are accompanied by specific actions.
May I risk new actions as You lead me forward.
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