Recovery Meditations: December 7th
~ CHANGE ~
If we don't change, we don't grow.
If we don't grow, we are not really living.
Gail Sheehy
Throughout my
life, I have been terrified of change. To me, change meant abandoning one set
of experiences which, although adverse, were at least familiar. I thought I'd
be replacing them with another set of experiences which would surely be at least
as bad, and which had the additional disadvantage of being unknown.
In this
program, I was appalled to see a whole room of people who spoke
enthusiastically, joyfully, about the changes that the program was bringing to
their lives --not just in terms of released weight, but in so many areas of
day-to-day living. Panic-stricken at the idea that I, too, would change, I
talked about it after the first meeting with a dear friend.
"Hey," she smiled. "No one's forcing you. If changing
gets too scary, you can always decide you want to stay put."
Armed with
that slight reassurance, I decided I would go with the program until it got too
scary.
In the course
of the next weeks, as I maintained strict abstinence and began to work the
Steps, strange things began to happen, imperceptibly at first. I found myself
looking forward to getting up in the morning and adding all kinds of things to
my morning ritual: body lotion, foot care, cosmetics. Amazingly, my life-long
habit of nail-biting disappeared, and my nails are not only well-tended, but
polished!
On the
professional level, I started keeping a list of projects due, instead of
relying on my sketchy memory. I hired someone to answer phones and to help keep
my eternally messy desk more or less clear. Most important, I have started an
honest reassessment of my relationship with my life partner, and have decided
that it's not enough that this is the first relationship of my life that is
free of physical abuse; I deserve to be loved and desired, and to have that
love and desire expressed.
At a
face-to-face program meeting this week, I read the Promises. I was amazed to
hear a strong, confident voice--mine--saying "Our whole attitude and
outlook upon life will change," and I realized that I was changing. I love
it!
One Day at a
Time . . .
I will welcome
change, for change is growth, and I will know that, now that I have placed my
life in the hands of my Higher Power, any change will be for the better.
Sharon N.
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Each Day a New Beginning
Promises that you make to yourself are often like the Japanese plum tree--they bear no fruit.
—Frances Marion
The resolve to fulfill commitments we make to ourselves and others may be lacking until we learn to rely on the wisdom and strength offered by our higher power - strength that will make us confident in any situation; wisdom that will insure our right actions. What is difficult alone is always eased in partnership.
We promise ourselves changed behavior, new habits, perhaps, or a positive attitude. But then we proceed to focus on our liabilities, giving them even more power, a greater hold over us. We can practice our assets, and they'll foster the promises we want to keep.
No longer need we shame ourselves about unfulfilled promises. Whatever our desires, whatever our commitments, if for the good of others and ourselves, they will come to fruition. We can ask for direction. We can ask for resolve, and each worthy hope and unrealized promise will become reality.
My assets, when strengthened through use, pave the way for God's help. Any promise can bear fruit when I make it in partnership with God.
—Frances Marion
The resolve to fulfill commitments we make to ourselves and others may be lacking until we learn to rely on the wisdom and strength offered by our higher power - strength that will make us confident in any situation; wisdom that will insure our right actions. What is difficult alone is always eased in partnership.
We promise ourselves changed behavior, new habits, perhaps, or a positive attitude. But then we proceed to focus on our liabilities, giving them even more power, a greater hold over us. We can practice our assets, and they'll foster the promises we want to keep.
No longer need we shame ourselves about unfulfilled promises. Whatever our desires, whatever our commitments, if for the good of others and ourselves, they will come to fruition. We can ask for direction. We can ask for resolve, and each worthy hope and unrealized promise will become reality.
My assets, when strengthened through use, pave the way for God's help. Any promise can bear fruit when I make it in partnership with God.
From Each Day a New Beginning: Daily Meditations for Women by Karen Casey
© 1982, 1991 by Hazelden Foundation.
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Food for Thought
A Permanent Disability
Compulsive overeating is a permanent disability. We do not look forward to becoming normal eaters at some point in the future. Until we accept the fact that our illness is irreversible, we do not learn how to control it.
We have all tried innumerable methods of regaining the ability to eat normally and spontaneously. Perhaps the most common delusion was believing that once we were thin enough we would be able to eat whatever and however we pleased. We may have thought that if only we could straighten out our interpersonal relationships and arrange circumstances to suit us, then we would no longer be plagued by compulsive overeating.
When I accept the fact that I am and always will be a compulsive overeater, no matter what my weight or how ideal my situation, I accept reality. I will have to live with this disease and control it, with the help of my Higher Power and OA, for the rest of my life. Abstinence is not a temporary cure for my illness, but a permanent method of control.
May I understand the full extent of my disability.
Compulsive overeating is a permanent disability. We do not look forward to becoming normal eaters at some point in the future. Until we accept the fact that our illness is irreversible, we do not learn how to control it.
We have all tried innumerable methods of regaining the ability to eat normally and spontaneously. Perhaps the most common delusion was believing that once we were thin enough we would be able to eat whatever and however we pleased. We may have thought that if only we could straighten out our interpersonal relationships and arrange circumstances to suit us, then we would no longer be plagued by compulsive overeating.
When I accept the fact that I am and always will be a compulsive overeater, no matter what my weight or how ideal my situation, I accept reality. I will have to live with this disease and control it, with the help of my Higher Power and OA, for the rest of my life. Abstinence is not a temporary cure for my illness, but a permanent method of control.
May I understand the full extent of my disability.
From Food for Thought: Daily Meditations for Overeaters by Elisabeth L.
©1980, 1992 by Hazelden Foundation.
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The Language of Letting Go
When the Time is Right
There are times when we simply do not know what to do, or where to go, next. Sometimes these periods are brief, sometimes lingering.
We can get through these times. We can rely on our program and the disciplines of recovery. We can cope by using our faith, other people, and our resources.
Accept uncertainty. We do not always have to know what to do or where to go next. We do not always have clear direction. Refusing to accept the inaction and limbo makes things worse.
It is okay to temporarily be without direction. Say, "I don't know," and be comfortable with that. We do not have to try to force wisdom, knowledge, or clarity when there is none.
While waiting for direction, we do not have to put our life on hold. Let go of anxiety and enjoy life. Relax. Do something fun. Enjoy the love and beauty in your life. Accomplish small tasks. They may have nothing to do with solving the problem, or finding direction, but this is what we can do in the interim.
Clarity will come. The next step will present itself. Indecision, inactivity, and lack of direction will not last forever.
Today, I will accept my circumstances even if I lack direction and insight. I will remember to do things that make myself and others feel good during those times. I will trust that clarity will come of its own accord.
There are times when we simply do not know what to do, or where to go, next. Sometimes these periods are brief, sometimes lingering.
We can get through these times. We can rely on our program and the disciplines of recovery. We can cope by using our faith, other people, and our resources.
Accept uncertainty. We do not always have to know what to do or where to go next. We do not always have clear direction. Refusing to accept the inaction and limbo makes things worse.
It is okay to temporarily be without direction. Say, "I don't know," and be comfortable with that. We do not have to try to force wisdom, knowledge, or clarity when there is none.
While waiting for direction, we do not have to put our life on hold. Let go of anxiety and enjoy life. Relax. Do something fun. Enjoy the love and beauty in your life. Accomplish small tasks. They may have nothing to do with solving the problem, or finding direction, but this is what we can do in the interim.
Clarity will come. The next step will present itself. Indecision, inactivity, and lack of direction will not last forever.
Today, I will accept my circumstances even if I lack direction and insight. I will remember to do things that make myself and others feel good during those times. I will trust that clarity will come of its own accord.
From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie
©1990, Hazelden Foundation.
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It doesn't happen all at once.... You become. It takes a long time.
--Margery Williams
Our spiritual awakening is partly a process of becoming real. We're moving from the external controls of image and others' opinions to the internal controls of honesty, listening to our inner voice, and having true relationships. We are shedding the games that maintained our old style of life - "macho" or "hero" or "poor me."
In place of the old phony surface, we are developing a real relationship with ourselves. We are becoming more aware - of emotions, of need for rest, of violations of our values. Sometimes change comes in a flash of insight or a moment of sudden, piercing awareness, but more often it comes a little bit at a time. As we work the Steps, as we are true to our inner voice, as we keep returning to conscious contact with our Higher Power, as we get closer to our friends, we become more real to ourselves.
As I grow, I see that I was always real. I was just looking at the outside.
You are reading from the book:
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