Recovery Meditations: December 27th
~ JOY~
Life is no brief candle to me.
It is a sort of splendid torch which
I have got hold of for the moment, and
want to make it burn as brightly as possible
before handing it on to future generations.
George Bernard Shaw
For many years
my life was filled with pain and I felt totally empty inside. I did what I had
to do for my children and for the people around me, but with a heavy heart, and
life seemed to be one endless day after the other. What had happened to all the
dreams and hopes I had for a life filled with joy and happiness? Sometimes the
pain got to be so great that life just didn't seem to be worthwhile any more.
At times I even contemplated ending my life. I have often heard it said that
the opposite of pain is joy but in those dark days, I certainly couldn't see
that.
It is only in
recovery that I see that the pain had a meaning, and it has brought me to a
great appreciation of all the miracles in my life. I can appreciate the beauty
in nature, and for the first time in a very long time my soul is filled with
joy. When I listen to Beethoven's glorious Ninth Symphony with its last
movement, the choral piece set to the poet Schiller's "Ode to Joy", I
begin to realize that one can create something truly wondrous out of one's pain
and suffering. Beethoven wrote this magnificent work shortly before his death,
when he was in tremendous emotional pain and totally deaf. Yet he created this
truly amazing piece of music that lives on nearly 200 years after his death,
and will probably do so for many years to come.
I now realize
that there was a reason for my suffering and if, out of that, I can bring some
joy or happiness to others, then my life will have had some purpose. It is only
through this fellowship that I have been able to see that.
One Day at a
Time . . .
I will always
remember that my pain has been a growing experience that enables me to share
what I have learned with other fellow sufferers. I can now appreciate all the
miracles that my Higher Power performs in my life, and I am now truly able to
experience joy.
Sharon S.
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Each Day a New Beginning
One needs something to believe in, something for which one can have wholehearted enthusiasm.
—Hannah Senesh
Life offers little, if we sit passively in the midst of activity. Involvement is a prerequisite if we are to grow. For our lives' purposes we need enthusiasm; we need enthusiasm in order to greet the day expectantly. When we look toward the day with anticipation, we are open to all the possibilities for action.
We must respond to our possibilities if we are to mature emotionally and recover spiritually. Idly observing life from the sidelines guarantees no development beyond our present level. We begin to change once we start living up to our commitment to the program, its possibilities and our purpose, and it's that change, many days over, that moves us beyond the negative, passive outlook of days gone by.
The program has offered us something to believe in. We are no longer the women we were. So much more have we become! Each day's worth of recovery carries us closer to fulfilling our purpose in life.
I believe in recovery, my own; when I believe in success, I'll find it. There is magic in believing.
—Hannah Senesh
Life offers little, if we sit passively in the midst of activity. Involvement is a prerequisite if we are to grow. For our lives' purposes we need enthusiasm; we need enthusiasm in order to greet the day expectantly. When we look toward the day with anticipation, we are open to all the possibilities for action.
We must respond to our possibilities if we are to mature emotionally and recover spiritually. Idly observing life from the sidelines guarantees no development beyond our present level. We begin to change once we start living up to our commitment to the program, its possibilities and our purpose, and it's that change, many days over, that moves us beyond the negative, passive outlook of days gone by.
The program has offered us something to believe in. We are no longer the women we were. So much more have we become! Each day's worth of recovery carries us closer to fulfilling our purpose in life.
I believe in recovery, my own; when I believe in success, I'll find it. There is magic in believing.
From Each Day a New Beginning: Daily Meditations for Women by Karen Casey
© 1982, 1991 by Hazelden Foundation.
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Food for Thought
Courage
We pray for the courage to change the things we can. We cannot change the fact that we are compulsive overeaters, but we can change our actions so that we are not destroyed by our disease. Making changes requires the courage to start out on a new, unknown course. Courage does not mean the elimination of fear. Courage means acting in spite of the fact that we are afraid.
It takes courage to learn to affirm one's rights as an individual, especially if the old way was to say yes to all demands and requests, reasonable and unreasonable. It takes courage to face the truth instead of continuing to live with comfortable illusions. Courage is necessary for working the steps of the OA program.
Sometimes courage comes when we are pressed to a wall of failure. There is nothing to do but turn around and step out in a new direction, even though we are afraid. The courage born of desperation can produce remarkable results.
Grant us the courage to move in Your direction.
We pray for the courage to change the things we can. We cannot change the fact that we are compulsive overeaters, but we can change our actions so that we are not destroyed by our disease. Making changes requires the courage to start out on a new, unknown course. Courage does not mean the elimination of fear. Courage means acting in spite of the fact that we are afraid.
It takes courage to learn to affirm one's rights as an individual, especially if the old way was to say yes to all demands and requests, reasonable and unreasonable. It takes courage to face the truth instead of continuing to live with comfortable illusions. Courage is necessary for working the steps of the OA program.
Sometimes courage comes when we are pressed to a wall of failure. There is nothing to do but turn around and step out in a new direction, even though we are afraid. The courage born of desperation can produce remarkable results.
Grant us the courage to move in Your direction.
From Food for Thought: Daily Meditations for Overeaters by Elisabeth L.
©1980, 1992 by Hazelden Foundation
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The Language of Letting Go
Near the Top
I know you're tired. I know you feel overwhelmed. You may feel as though this crisis, this problem, this hard time will last forever.
It won't. You are almost through.
You don't just think it has been hard; it has been hard. You have been tested, tried, and retested on what you have learned.
Your beliefs and your faith have been tried in fire. You have believed, then doubted, then worked at believing some more. You have had to have faith even when you could not see or imagine what you were asked to believe. Others around you may have tried to convince you not to believe in what you were hoping you could believe.
You have had opposition. You have not gotten to this place with total support and joy. You have had to work hard, in spite of what was happening around you. Sometimes, what motivated you was anger; sometimes fear.
Things went wrong - more problems occurred than you anticipated. There were obstacles, frustrations, and annoyances en route. You did not plan on this being the way it would evolve. Much of this has been a surprise; some of it has not been at all what you desired.
Yet, it has been good. Part of you, the deepest part that knows truth, has sensed this all along, even when your head told you that things were out of whack and crazy; that there was no plan or purpose, that God had forgotten you.
So much has happened, and each incident - the most painful, the most troubling, and the most surprising - has a connection. You are beginning to see and sense that.
You never dreamt things would happen this way, did you? But they did. Now you are learning the secret - they were meant to happen this way, and this way is good, better than what you expected.
You didn't believe it would take this long, either - did you? But it did. You have learned patience.
You never thought you could have it, but now you know you do.
You have been led. Many were the moments when you thought you were forgotten, when you were convinced you had been abandoned. Now you know you have been guided.
Now things are coming into place. You are almost at the end of this phase, this difficult portion of the journey. The lesson is almost complete. You know - the lesson you fought, resisted, and insisted you could not learn. Yes, that one. You have almost mastered it.
You have been changed from the inside out. You have been moved to a different level, a higher level, a better level.
You have been climbing a mountain. It has not been easy, but mountain climbing is never easy. Now, you are near the top. A moment longer, and the victory shall be yours.
Steady your shoulders. Breathe deeply. Move forward in confidence and peace. The time is coming to relish and enjoy all, which you have fought for. That time is drawing near, finally.
I know you have thought before that the time was drawing near, only to learn that it wasn't. But now, the reward is coming. You know that too. You can feel it.
Your struggle has not been in vain. For every struggle on this journey, there is a climax, a resolution.
Peace, joy, abundant blessings, and reward are yours here on earth. Enjoy.
There will be more mountains, but now you know how to climb them. And you have learned the secret of what is at the top.
Today, I will accept where I am and continue pushing forward. If I am in the midst of a learning experience, I will allow myself to continue on with the faith that the day of mastery and reward will come. Help me, God; understand that despite my best efforts to live in peaceful serenity, there are times of mountain climbing. Help me stop creating chaos and crisis, and help me meet the challenges that will move me upward and forward.
I know you're tired. I know you feel overwhelmed. You may feel as though this crisis, this problem, this hard time will last forever.
It won't. You are almost through.
You don't just think it has been hard; it has been hard. You have been tested, tried, and retested on what you have learned.
Your beliefs and your faith have been tried in fire. You have believed, then doubted, then worked at believing some more. You have had to have faith even when you could not see or imagine what you were asked to believe. Others around you may have tried to convince you not to believe in what you were hoping you could believe.
You have had opposition. You have not gotten to this place with total support and joy. You have had to work hard, in spite of what was happening around you. Sometimes, what motivated you was anger; sometimes fear.
Things went wrong - more problems occurred than you anticipated. There were obstacles, frustrations, and annoyances en route. You did not plan on this being the way it would evolve. Much of this has been a surprise; some of it has not been at all what you desired.
Yet, it has been good. Part of you, the deepest part that knows truth, has sensed this all along, even when your head told you that things were out of whack and crazy; that there was no plan or purpose, that God had forgotten you.
So much has happened, and each incident - the most painful, the most troubling, and the most surprising - has a connection. You are beginning to see and sense that.
You never dreamt things would happen this way, did you? But they did. Now you are learning the secret - they were meant to happen this way, and this way is good, better than what you expected.
You didn't believe it would take this long, either - did you? But it did. You have learned patience.
You never thought you could have it, but now you know you do.
You have been led. Many were the moments when you thought you were forgotten, when you were convinced you had been abandoned. Now you know you have been guided.
Now things are coming into place. You are almost at the end of this phase, this difficult portion of the journey. The lesson is almost complete. You know - the lesson you fought, resisted, and insisted you could not learn. Yes, that one. You have almost mastered it.
You have been changed from the inside out. You have been moved to a different level, a higher level, a better level.
You have been climbing a mountain. It has not been easy, but mountain climbing is never easy. Now, you are near the top. A moment longer, and the victory shall be yours.
Steady your shoulders. Breathe deeply. Move forward in confidence and peace. The time is coming to relish and enjoy all, which you have fought for. That time is drawing near, finally.
I know you have thought before that the time was drawing near, only to learn that it wasn't. But now, the reward is coming. You know that too. You can feel it.
Your struggle has not been in vain. For every struggle on this journey, there is a climax, a resolution.
Peace, joy, abundant blessings, and reward are yours here on earth. Enjoy.
There will be more mountains, but now you know how to climb them. And you have learned the secret of what is at the top.
Today, I will accept where I am and continue pushing forward. If I am in the midst of a learning experience, I will allow myself to continue on with the faith that the day of mastery and reward will come. Help me, God; understand that despite my best efforts to live in peaceful serenity, there are times of mountain climbing. Help me stop creating chaos and crisis, and help me meet the challenges that will move me upward and forward.
From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie
©1990, Hazelden Foundation
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Love-ability
A friend of mine recently told me how he met his wife. He had watched her walk by his store every day for a year with her young son. She also happened to be a friend of his neighbor.
"Fix me up," he suggested to his neighbor. "We'll go on a double date. I really want to meet her." Unfortunately, the neighbor never got around to setting up that first date.
Finally my friend devised a plan. Every day when she walked by the store, they said hello to each other, but she never stopped to chat. This day, he was ready. He had his store keys in hand. "Would it be all right if I walked with you for a while?" he asked when she walked by.
"Don't you have to mind your store?"
"I'll lock it up," he said.
"You don't have to do that," she said. "We can sit here and chat."
That Friday, they had their first date. She was nervous.
The next weekend, they went out again. She was still nervous. He turned to her, "You can relax," he said. "I'm not going to try anything inappropriate. I just want to enjoy your company." As time passed, she did relax, and they continued to become friends. Three years later, they were married in a small ceremony. "I didn't want to overwhelm her son," my friend recalled.
He wrote his wedding vows. He promised to love her and care for her all of his life. He promised to love her son and protect him, as if he were his own. She lit up his life, he said, and he was grateful for her promise of companionship for the rest of their lives.
My friend is a lucky man, but not just because he found someone he truly loves. He is lucky because he is able to recognize the gift of his wife's love. Most of us have the ability to see when we have been harmed, hurt, or slighted, when we're not loved or treated the way we'd like to be. But we can learn to see those acts big and small when someone shows us love. They are the greatest gifts of all.
Call it believing we deserve love, lovability, or love-ability, the value is opening our eyes and hearts so we can see and receive love from others, friends, family, romantic involvements, and God.
You are reading from the book:
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