The Language of Letting Go; October 1st

Be Who You Are

In recovery; we're learning a new behavior. It's called Be Who You Are.

For some of us, this can be frightening. What would happen if we felt what we felt, said what we wanted, became firm about our beliefs, and valued what we needed? What would happen if we let go of our camouflage of adaptation? What would happen if we owned our power to be ourselves?

Would people still like us? Would they go away? Would they become angry?

There comes a time when we become willing and ready to take that risk. To continue growing, and living with ourselves, we realize we must liberate ourselves. It becomes time to stop allowing ourselves to be so controlled by others and their expectations and be true to ourselves - regardless of the reaction of others.

Before long, we begin to understand. Some people may go away, but the relationship would have ended anyway. Some people stay and love and respect us more for taking the risk of being whom we are. We begin to achieve intimacy, and relationships that work.

We discover that who we are has always been good enough. It is who we were intended to be.

Today, I will own my power to be myself.

From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie ©1990, Hazelden Foundation.

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"Be Who You Are"..........what a novel thought! While I was practicing my addictions, I didn't know who I was.

 

I was who YOU wanted me to be.  And the ensuing resentment drove me deeper into my addictions.

 

I was always made to feel 'not good enough'.........by my parents, my first husband, by the people in my life who mattered most.  It wasn't until I gave birth to my first child that I began to glimpse what it felt like to be 'good enough'.  This child needed me! I was able to make him smile & gurgle! I was able to care for him & help him grow..........although I still felt as though I could have been a 'better' mother..........still far from perfect.........still striving to be MORE.  My son was colicky & difficult........which must have been 'my fault', somehow.  

 

Although I was on the path to feeling good enough, I still had a long way to go. I was still trying to find Myself & establish a relationship with that woman.

 

By the time I gave birth to my daughter 8 years later, I'd gotten sober & stayed there for years.  I was at peace with myself & had a relaxing & beautiful pregnancy.  I allowed myself to love my swollen belly & to feel totally at peace for maybe the first time EVER.  I had a purpose and I was Becoming.

 

I had glimpses into Who I Was for many years before I actually unlocked the door to my Spirit.  It's been an incredible journey of self discovery to own my own Power to Be.

 

For today, I know who I am and it's plenty 'good enough'.  I am a child of God.