~ HAPPINESS ~
The greatest happiness you can have
is knowing that you do not necessarily require happiness.
William Saroyan
How many times during my life have I said that all I want is "just to be happy." We are told early on that our legacy is "life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness." Did you notice that our forefathers used the word "pursuit?" How very wise they were.Happiness is not automatic. Life is difficult and it's supposed to be that way. If we expect happiness and we expect life to be easy, at some point in time we are going to be very disappointed. I thought eating food made me happy and it did ... for a short time. There were other temporary compulsions in my life that made me think I was happy ~ but again for only a short time.As I began to work the Steps, I began to desire something other than happiness. I found myself yearning for serenity ... and I found it. The way I found it was by not expecting the world and everyone in it to make me happy. I learned that life was more of an adventure than a bowl of cherries. I learned that the more I expected from people, places and things, the more disappointed I was ... and the more disappointed I became, the less happy I was.One Day at a Time . . .~ Mari ~
I will not require happiness. But when I least expect it .... happiness will find me.
****************************
Each Day A New Beginning
There
were many ways of breaking a heart. Stories were full of hearts broken
by love, but what really broke a heart was taking away its dream -
whatever that dream might be.
—Pearl S. Buck
No new door is opened without the inner urge for growth. Dreams guide us, encourage us, stretch us to new heights — and leave us momentarily empty when they are dashed.
Recovery has given us resilience and a multitude of reasons for living. We have come to understand that when one dream serves us no longer, it is making way for an even better one. Our dreams are our teachers. When the student is ready, a new one comes into focus.
Dreams in our earlier years often come to nought. They couldn't compete for our attention as effectively as the self-pity. The direction they offered was lost. Each day that we look forward with positive anticipation, we put the wreckage of the past farther from our minds.
Our dreams are like the rest areas on a cross-country trip. They refresh us, help us to gauge the distance we've come, and give us a chance to consider our destination.
Today's dreams and experiences are points on the road map of my life. I won't let them pass, unnoticed.
—Pearl S. Buck
No new door is opened without the inner urge for growth. Dreams guide us, encourage us, stretch us to new heights — and leave us momentarily empty when they are dashed.
Recovery has given us resilience and a multitude of reasons for living. We have come to understand that when one dream serves us no longer, it is making way for an even better one. Our dreams are our teachers. When the student is ready, a new one comes into focus.
Dreams in our earlier years often come to nought. They couldn't compete for our attention as effectively as the self-pity. The direction they offered was lost. Each day that we look forward with positive anticipation, we put the wreckage of the past farther from our minds.
Our dreams are like the rest areas on a cross-country trip. They refresh us, help us to gauge the distance we've come, and give us a chance to consider our destination.
Today's dreams and experiences are points on the road map of my life. I won't let them pass, unnoticed.
From Each Day
a New Beginning: Daily Meditations for Women by Karen Casey © 1982,
1991 by Hazelden Foundation
Food For Thought
Exercise
We are made to be physically active. When we were loaded down with food and fat, we probably moved around as little as possible. Now that we eat for health, we have the necessary energy to exercise our bodies.
Taking the stairs rather than the elevator, walking instead of riding, a few simple calisthenics when we need a break from work, a jump rope - there are many ways to begin an exercise program in easy stages. We do not need to train to become Olympic athletes, but we do need to keep our bodies in good working order.
Each day we also need mental, emotional, and spiritual exercise. Reading something worthwhile, refraining from criticism, performing a service for someone anonymously, taking time for prayer and meditation --these are actions which develop our minds, hearts, and spirits. Our growth in the program depends on overcoming resistance and inertia each day and taking concrete steps to improvement.
By Your power, may I overcome laziness.
We are made to be physically active. When we were loaded down with food and fat, we probably moved around as little as possible. Now that we eat for health, we have the necessary energy to exercise our bodies.
Taking the stairs rather than the elevator, walking instead of riding, a few simple calisthenics when we need a break from work, a jump rope - there are many ways to begin an exercise program in easy stages. We do not need to train to become Olympic athletes, but we do need to keep our bodies in good working order.
Each day we also need mental, emotional, and spiritual exercise. Reading something worthwhile, refraining from criticism, performing a service for someone anonymously, taking time for prayer and meditation --these are actions which develop our minds, hearts, and spirits. Our growth in the program depends on overcoming resistance and inertia each day and taking concrete steps to improvement.
By Your power, may I overcome laziness.
From Food for
Thought: Daily Meditations for Overeaters by Elisabeth L. ©1980, 1992
by Hazelden Foundation.
The Language of Letting Go
Step Eight
Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
—Step Eight of Al-Anon
The Eighth Step is not meant to punish us; it is meant to set us free from guilt, anxiety, and discord.
We begin by making a list of everyone we have harmed on our journey, as we have struggled to survive. We have probably done more damage to ourselves than to anyone else, so we put ourselves first on the list.
Often, our tendency is to feel guilty about everything we've ever done, everyone we've come in contract with. That is unearned guilt. Writing helps us clarify whether or not we are punishing ourselves for no reason. But we need to be open to guidance as we work this Step, getting everything out of us and on to paper, so we can be healed.
Once we have made the list, we strive to become willing to make amends to everyone on it because that is how we heal. Making amends does not mean feeling guilty and ashamed and punishing ourselves; it means swallowing our pride and defenses, and doing what we can to take care of ourselves. We become ready to improve our self-esteem by taking responsibility for our behaviors. We become willing to have our relationships with ourselves, others, and our Higher Power restored.
Today, I will open myself to an honest understanding of the people I have harmed. God, help me let go of my defenses and pride. Help me become willing to make amends to those I have harmed, so that I can improve my relationships with others and myself.
Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
—Step Eight of Al-Anon
The Eighth Step is not meant to punish us; it is meant to set us free from guilt, anxiety, and discord.
We begin by making a list of everyone we have harmed on our journey, as we have struggled to survive. We have probably done more damage to ourselves than to anyone else, so we put ourselves first on the list.
Often, our tendency is to feel guilty about everything we've ever done, everyone we've come in contract with. That is unearned guilt. Writing helps us clarify whether or not we are punishing ourselves for no reason. But we need to be open to guidance as we work this Step, getting everything out of us and on to paper, so we can be healed.
Once we have made the list, we strive to become willing to make amends to everyone on it because that is how we heal. Making amends does not mean feeling guilty and ashamed and punishing ourselves; it means swallowing our pride and defenses, and doing what we can to take care of ourselves. We become ready to improve our self-esteem by taking responsibility for our behaviors. We become willing to have our relationships with ourselves, others, and our Higher Power restored.
Today, I will open myself to an honest understanding of the people I have harmed. God, help me let go of my defenses and pride. Help me become willing to make amends to those I have harmed, so that I can improve my relationships with others and myself.
From The
Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie ©1990, Hazelden Foundation.
Today's Gift
of valentines that never came,
and those whose names were never called
when choosing sides for basketball.
—Janis Ian
Each of us at some time has known the feeling of not belonging; the painful emptiness of feeling left out. We've stood on the sidelines longing to be invited into what we think is some sort of magical circle. If only they would ask us in, we think, we'd be transformed - we'd be somebody then.
But look around. The circle is composed of people just like us: insecure at times, frightened, unsure. They have felt anxiety and feared rejection just as we have.
The pain will pass, and if we use these times to get to know and understand ourselves a bit better, we'll be better able to understand others when they're feeling left out and lonely. And when it's our turn to choose a team or send a valentine, we'll remember.
Who can I remember today?
From Today's
Gift: Daily Meditations for Families ©1985, 1991 by Hazelden Foundation
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