VICTIMIZATION
“Within each of us lies the power of our consent to health and to sickness,
to riches and to poverty, to freedom and to slavery.
It is we who control these, and not another.”
Richard Bach
I have lived most of my life believing that I was a victim of circumstance. As a “victim” I believed I had no power, no options, no choices, no hope and no control in my life. It’s so tempting to be a victim. If I’m a victim, I am not responsible for anything. Every pain, every dysfunction, every addiction, every problem was not my “fault” and there was nothing I could do to improve my life. Or so I thought.
One day a friend asked me if I actually wanted to be well and I was shocked to find that the immediate answer flooding from my heart was, “NO.” Wow! You would think that a victim would give anything in order to be well, yet I found that I was terrified of the responsibility of being well. If I were well, I would be in charge of my own choices – particularly the most primal choices of all: Life or Death, holding onto powerlessness, or reaching out to grasp hope and health.
I am still tempted to return to the false security of victim-hood. Yet I come to recovery, and keep coming back. I work the program, I learn, I fail, I fall. I rise again and begin again.One day at a time...
I will remember that I have the power, the freedom, and the responsibility to make choices which move me towards health. I will resist the siren call of victimization.~ Lisa V.
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Each Day A New Beginning
—Lillian Smith
Today stands before us, ready for our involvement. And it will offer us opportunities for personal growth and occasions to help another make progress on her path to the future. Challenges are to be expected. They further our purpose. They foster our maturity.
How different it is, for many of us, to look forward to today with secure anticipation, to trust in what the future holds! We can still remember, all too vividly perhaps, the darker periods in our lives, periods that seemed to hold no promise; a time when we dreaded the future, fearing it would only compound those awful times.
The fear and the dread are not gone completely. They hover about us, on occasion. They no longer need to darken all of a day, however. We can recognize their presence as parts of our whole, not all of it. How free we are, today! Our choices are many.
I can step toward today with assurance, reaching out to others along the way, trusting that my accumulated steps add stability to my future.
From Each Day
a New Beginning: Daily Meditations for Women by Karen Casey © 1982,
1991 by Hazelden Foundation.
Food For Thought
We compulsive overeaters react to refined sugar and starches as an alcoholic reacts to alcohol. When we were overeating, our thinking was foggy. The more we ate, the more confused we became. We often lived in a world of cobwebs and illusions and were unable to separate fact from fantasy.
This cloudy thinking caused all sorts of complications in our relationships with others and lowered our general level of efficiency. We found ourselves becoming very angry and irrational when events did not go our way. We often made life miserable for our families, taking out our anger on them. Sometimes we escaped into a world of fantasy where we would be omnipotent and where our every whim would be indulged.
When we came to OA and began to practice rigorous honesty, we discovered that in order to be honest we had to abstain from the kind of eating which confused our thinking. It is amazing how abstinence can clear away cobwebs and illusions!
Thank You, Lord, for sanity.
From Food for
Thought: Daily Meditations for Overeaters by Elisabeth L. ©1980, 1992
by Hazelden Foundation.
The Language of Letting Go
Children are gifts, if we accept them.
—Kathleen Turner Crilly
Children are gifts. Our children, if we have children, are a gift to us. We, as children, were gifts to our parents.
Sadly, many of us did not receive the message from our parents that we were gifts to them and to the Universe. Maybe our parents were in pain themselves; maybe our parents were looking to us to be their caretakers; maybe we came at a difficult time in their lives; maybe they had their own issues and simply were not able to enjoy, accept, and appreciate us for the gifts we are.
Many of us have a deep, sometimes subconscious, belief that we were, and are, a burden to the world and the people around us. This belief can block our ability to enjoy life and our relationships with others. This belief can even impair our relationship with a Higher Power: we may feel we are a burden to God.
If we have that belief, it is time to let it go.
We are not a burden. We never were. If we received that message from our parents, it is time to recognize that issue as theirs to resolve.
We have a right to treat ourselves as a gift -- to ourselves, to others, and to the Universe.
We are here, and we have a right to be here.
Today, I will treat myself, and any children I have, as though we are a gift. I will let go of any beliefs I have about being a burden -- to my Higher Power, my friends, my family, and myself.
From The
Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie ©1990, Hazelden Foundation.
Today's thought from the Hazelden Betty Ford Foundation is:
Being willing
People often ask, "How does the program work?" The how of this program is Honesty, Open-mindedness, and Willingness. Often we must pray for willingness; sometimes we even have to pray to be willing to be willing!
We have very stubborn wills. If surrendered daily, however, they can accomplish much good for others and ourselves. Surely those who say, "I will, I will" and don't are not as close to the heart of God as those who say "I will not," but do!
Am I really willing?
God, help me realize that to do your will for me today, in however small a way, I must let go of my own will.
Being willing
People often ask, "How does the program work?" The how of this program is Honesty, Open-mindedness, and Willingness. Often we must pray for willingness; sometimes we even have to pray to be willing to be willing!
We have very stubborn wills. If surrendered daily, however, they can accomplish much good for others and ourselves. Surely those who say, "I will, I will" and don't are not as close to the heart of God as those who say "I will not," but do!
Am I really willing?
God, help me realize that to do your will for me today, in however small a way, I must let go of my own will.
You are reading from the book:
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