Recovery
Meditations: September 11th
The Present
“Real generosity
towards the future
consists in giving all
to what is present.”
Albert Camus
Fear ruled my life until two years ago. I was paralyzed with
fear about the future and what would happen when “they” discovered how bad I
really was and how little they could trust me. I was terrified that the past
would catch up with me and I’d be found out. The guilt and shame of my last
binge came along for the ride as I replayed the scene compulsively and beat
myself up for screwing up yet again. This made it impossible for me to stay in
the present.
In program I learned that I wasn’t really paralyzed by the
past nor the future; rather, I was paralyzed by fear of losing control. The
only way to release that fear was to admit, every hour of every day, that I was
powerless over people, the past, the future and the food. When I wrote it down
and put it in my God box, I could live in the present time. It was hard at
first, and I'd grab it back when the fear crept in. But I'd let it go a little
more each time, allowing me to be free of fear and enjoy moments of the day.
The moments turned into hours and soon I was experiencing a full day without
fear. The fear of the past and the future held less sway over me as I worked
the Steps, surrendered my fears, and did service.
Service is the most important tool for me. The more service
I do, the more I am fully alive in the present and I worry less about the past
and the future. The peace and serenity that replaced the fear are blessed gifts
allowing me to explore more of the present day. With them, I can honestly share
myself with others and rebuild relationships. I now know the freedom of “giving
all to what is present” and I pray for the willingness to stay in the present
and be generous toward my future.
One day at a time...
I live fully in the
present, easily and effortlessly surrendering the past and the future to my
Higher Power.
~ Anne L.
*****************************************
Each Day a New Beginning
I used to think I'd never know the difference between serenity and depression because depression subdued me.
—S.H.
Depression is familiar to us all, and less incapacitating than it used to be. We have made progress - we can be assured. "This too shall pass" is not an empty slogan.
Each of us can recall, with ease probably, a period we thought we'd never survive. Maybe our problem was family-related, or a tough on-the-job situation. Or maybe we felt inadequate and lacking in strength to cope with all situations. But we managed. Here we are today, taking charge of our lives and moving forward in search of serenity.
Serenity no doubt eludes us, again and again, throughout the day. But we can let our minds rest. We can give our thoughts to the wind, and serenity will find us. Serenity's peace nurtures us, strengthens us to withstand the turmoil ahead. There is always turmoil ahead. Life's lessons are found there. The irony is that a life with no problems doesn't offer the opportunities we must have if we are to grow.
I will let the serene moments wash over me. I will cherish them. They soften me. And the blows of today's tumultuous storm will be lessened.
—S.H.
Depression is familiar to us all, and less incapacitating than it used to be. We have made progress - we can be assured. "This too shall pass" is not an empty slogan.
Each of us can recall, with ease probably, a period we thought we'd never survive. Maybe our problem was family-related, or a tough on-the-job situation. Or maybe we felt inadequate and lacking in strength to cope with all situations. But we managed. Here we are today, taking charge of our lives and moving forward in search of serenity.
Serenity no doubt eludes us, again and again, throughout the day. But we can let our minds rest. We can give our thoughts to the wind, and serenity will find us. Serenity's peace nurtures us, strengthens us to withstand the turmoil ahead. There is always turmoil ahead. Life's lessons are found there. The irony is that a life with no problems doesn't offer the opportunities we must have if we are to grow.
I will let the serene moments wash over me. I will cherish them. They soften me. And the blows of today's tumultuous storm will be lessened.
From Each Day a New Beginning: Daily Meditations for Women by Karen Casey
© 1982, 1991 by Hazelden Foundation.
******************************************
Food for Thought
Praying Only...
In Step Eleven, we are "praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out." How that simplifies our prayer! We do not have to worry about asking for the right things in the right way. We simply pray that we may know God's will and be given the power to do it.
This Step is closely related to Step Three, since we are leaving the decisions up to God. He knows better than we what is best for us to have and to do. We make ourselves available to His direction without attaching conditions and clauses about what we will and will not do.
This kind of prayer frees us from much worry and anxiety. We accept abstinence as God's will for us, since without abstinence we are powerless to do much of anything. Beyond that, we are prepared to live each day as our Higher Power gives it to us, trusting that He will show us His will and supply us with the power that we need.
This is my prayer, Lord.
In Step Eleven, we are "praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out." How that simplifies our prayer! We do not have to worry about asking for the right things in the right way. We simply pray that we may know God's will and be given the power to do it.
This Step is closely related to Step Three, since we are leaving the decisions up to God. He knows better than we what is best for us to have and to do. We make ourselves available to His direction without attaching conditions and clauses about what we will and will not do.
This kind of prayer frees us from much worry and anxiety. We accept abstinence as God's will for us, since without abstinence we are powerless to do much of anything. Beyond that, we are prepared to live each day as our Higher Power gives it to us, trusting that He will show us His will and supply us with the power that we need.
This is my prayer, Lord.
From Food for Thought: Daily Meditations for Overeaters by Elisabeth L.
©1980, 1992 by Hazelden Foundation.
****************************************
The Language of Letting Go
Conflict and Detachment
In a relationship, there are those wonderful times when things go smoothly for both people, and neither person needs to focus too heavily on the concept of detachment. But there are those challenging times when one person is in crisis or changing - and we need to detach.
Then there are stressful cycles when both people in a relationship are in the midst of dealing with intense issues. Both are needy and neither has anything to give.
These are times when detachment and taking care of ourselves are difficult.
It is helpful, in these moments, to identify the problem. Both people are in the midst of dealing and healing. Neither has much to give, at least at the moment. And both are feeling particularly needy.
That is the problem.
What's the solution?
There may not be a perfect solution. Detachment is still the key, but that can be difficult when we need support ourselves. In fact, the other person may be asking for support rather than offering it.
We can still work toward detachment. We can still work through our feelings. We can accept this as a temporary cycle in the relationship, and stop looking to the other person for something he or she cannot give at the moment.
We can stop expecting ourselves to give at the moment as well.
Communication helps. Identifying the problem and talking about it without blame or shame is a start. Figuring out alternative support systems, or ways to get our needs met, helps.
We are still responsible for taking care of ourselves - even when we are in the best of relationships. We can reasonably expect conflicts of need and the clashing of issues to occur in the most loving, healthy relationships.
It is one of the cycles of love, friendship, and family.
If it is a healthy relationship, the crisis will not go on endlessly. We will regain our balance. The other person will too. We can stop making ourselves so crazy by looking for the other person to be balanced when he or she isn't.
Talk things out. Work things out. Keep our expectations of other people, our relationships, and ourselves healthy and reasonable.
A good relationship will be able to sustain and survive low points. Sometimes we need them, so we can both grow and learn separately.
Sometimes, people who are usually there for us cannot be there for us. We can find another way to take care of ourselves.
Today, I will remember that my best relationships have low points. If the low point is the norm, I may want to consider the desirability of the relationship. If the low point is a temporary cycle, I will practice understanding for myself and the other person. God, help me remember that the help and support I want and need does not come in the form of only one person. Help me be open to healthy options for taking care of myself, if any normal support system is not available.
In a relationship, there are those wonderful times when things go smoothly for both people, and neither person needs to focus too heavily on the concept of detachment. But there are those challenging times when one person is in crisis or changing - and we need to detach.
Then there are stressful cycles when both people in a relationship are in the midst of dealing with intense issues. Both are needy and neither has anything to give.
These are times when detachment and taking care of ourselves are difficult.
It is helpful, in these moments, to identify the problem. Both people are in the midst of dealing and healing. Neither has much to give, at least at the moment. And both are feeling particularly needy.
That is the problem.
What's the solution?
There may not be a perfect solution. Detachment is still the key, but that can be difficult when we need support ourselves. In fact, the other person may be asking for support rather than offering it.
We can still work toward detachment. We can still work through our feelings. We can accept this as a temporary cycle in the relationship, and stop looking to the other person for something he or she cannot give at the moment.
We can stop expecting ourselves to give at the moment as well.
Communication helps. Identifying the problem and talking about it without blame or shame is a start. Figuring out alternative support systems, or ways to get our needs met, helps.
We are still responsible for taking care of ourselves - even when we are in the best of relationships. We can reasonably expect conflicts of need and the clashing of issues to occur in the most loving, healthy relationships.
It is one of the cycles of love, friendship, and family.
If it is a healthy relationship, the crisis will not go on endlessly. We will regain our balance. The other person will too. We can stop making ourselves so crazy by looking for the other person to be balanced when he or she isn't.
Talk things out. Work things out. Keep our expectations of other people, our relationships, and ourselves healthy and reasonable.
A good relationship will be able to sustain and survive low points. Sometimes we need them, so we can both grow and learn separately.
Sometimes, people who are usually there for us cannot be there for us. We can find another way to take care of ourselves.
Today, I will remember that my best relationships have low points. If the low point is the norm, I may want to consider the desirability of the relationship. If the low point is a temporary cycle, I will practice understanding for myself and the other person. God, help me remember that the help and support I want and need does not come in the form of only one person. Help me be open to healthy options for taking care of myself, if any normal support system is not available.
From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie
©1990, Hazelden Foundation
*************************************************
Today's thought from Hazelden Betty Ford Foundation is:
We don't always understand the ways of Almighty God - the crosses sent us, the sacrifices demanded . . . But we accept with faith and resignation the holy will with no looking back, and we are at peace.
--Anonymous
Acceptance of our past, acceptance of the conditions presently in our lives that we cannot change, brings relief. It brings the peacefulness we so often, so frantically, seek.
We can put the past behind us. Each day is a new beginning. And each day of abstinence offers us the chance to look ahead with hope. A power greater than ourselves helped us to find this program. That power is ever with us. When we fear facing new situations, or when familiar situations turn sour, we can look to that power for help in saying what needs to be said and for doing what needs to be done. Our higher power is as close as our breath. Conscious awareness of its presence strengthens us, moment by moment.
The past is gone. Today is full of possibilities. With each breath I will be aware of the strength at hand.
We don't always understand the ways of Almighty God - the crosses sent us, the sacrifices demanded . . . But we accept with faith and resignation the holy will with no looking back, and we are at peace.
--Anonymous
Acceptance of our past, acceptance of the conditions presently in our lives that we cannot change, brings relief. It brings the peacefulness we so often, so frantically, seek.
We can put the past behind us. Each day is a new beginning. And each day of abstinence offers us the chance to look ahead with hope. A power greater than ourselves helped us to find this program. That power is ever with us. When we fear facing new situations, or when familiar situations turn sour, we can look to that power for help in saying what needs to be said and for doing what needs to be done. Our higher power is as close as our breath. Conscious awareness of its presence strengthens us, moment by moment.
The past is gone. Today is full of possibilities. With each breath I will be aware of the strength at hand.
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