Recovery
Meditations: May 6, 2015
EXPECTATIONS
“The best thing about
the future
is that it only comes
one day at a time."
Abraham Lincoln
Being a rational, logical person I have always worked from
the premise that if I did something then the following would be the outcome and
maybe in the scientific world that may have been true. But in the real world of
relationships and people it certainly doesn't work like that as I have
discovered since coming into program. As it says in the Big Book "serenity
is inversely proportional to one's expectations" and I know now how true
this is.
Just recently after having set a boundary with my son I was
expecting all sorts of repercussions and imagined him trying to talk me out of
my decision and the result was that I lost my serenity and became really
anxious. Of course the truth was nowhere like I had imagined and the situation
ended very differently from what I had expected. This was a lesson to me once
again that things don't turn out the way we expect them to but the way they are
meant to.
One day at a time...
When I let go of any
expectations I have of how a situation is going to turn out, I get to keep my
serenity and the situation turns out the way it's supposed to.
~ Sharon S.
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Each Day a New Beginning
I stand before you as a tower of
strength, the weight of the world on my shoulders. As you pass through
my life, look, but not too close, for I fear I will expose the
vulnerable me.
—Deidra Sarault
Vulnerability is as much a part of being human as is strength. Our vulnerability prevents our strength from becoming hard, brittle, and self-serving. Our soft edges invite others' openness and their expressions of love.
We learned long ago to be "strong." We were encouraged to need no help, to need nobody. Now, we struggle to ask for help. As we grow in understanding of our human needs, and as we become more aware of the spiritual help available, the difficulty of reaching out to others is eased.
No longer need we look to pills, booze, food, or lovers for strength. All the strength we'll ever need is as close as our thoughts. At this moment, we are a tower of strength, not one weighted with burdens. Rather, our strength is a gift of our connection to a spiritual power that can free us from all the troubles we shoulder. Our vulnerable selves will open our souls to the flood of strength just waiting for our prayers.
I will be as strong as I need to be when I tap the spiritual source that awaits my call. I will risk my vulnerable self today.
—Deidra Sarault
Vulnerability is as much a part of being human as is strength. Our vulnerability prevents our strength from becoming hard, brittle, and self-serving. Our soft edges invite others' openness and their expressions of love.
We learned long ago to be "strong." We were encouraged to need no help, to need nobody. Now, we struggle to ask for help. As we grow in understanding of our human needs, and as we become more aware of the spiritual help available, the difficulty of reaching out to others is eased.
No longer need we look to pills, booze, food, or lovers for strength. All the strength we'll ever need is as close as our thoughts. At this moment, we are a tower of strength, not one weighted with burdens. Rather, our strength is a gift of our connection to a spiritual power that can free us from all the troubles we shoulder. Our vulnerable selves will open our souls to the flood of strength just waiting for our prayers.
I will be as strong as I need to be when I tap the spiritual source that awaits my call. I will risk my vulnerable self today.
From Each Day a New Beginning: Daily Meditations for Women by Karen Casey
© 1982, 1991 by Hazelden Foundation.
***********************************************************
Food for Thought
Communicating
If we do not tell people what is troubling us, they cannot help. We have sometimes been too proud or too shy to let others know what we were feeling. Rather than trying to communicate with those close to us, we ate. Eating instead of communicating further increased our isolation and unhappiness.
Exposing our feelings makes us vulnerable, and we often fear that we will be hurt or rejected. We may be trying to preserve a false image of ourselves as self-sufficient and free of problems. Whatever the reasons for our unwillingness to communicate, we are cheating ourselves. By "clamming up," we cut ourselves off from the care and support of those who love us.
Honest sharing between individuals opens the way for growth and change. By expressing our thoughts and feelings out loud to another person, we become better able to understand and deal with whatever is bothering us. More important, we deepen our relationships with family and friends when we are willing to communicate on a meaningful level.
Give me courage to communicate.
If we do not tell people what is troubling us, they cannot help. We have sometimes been too proud or too shy to let others know what we were feeling. Rather than trying to communicate with those close to us, we ate. Eating instead of communicating further increased our isolation and unhappiness.
Exposing our feelings makes us vulnerable, and we often fear that we will be hurt or rejected. We may be trying to preserve a false image of ourselves as self-sufficient and free of problems. Whatever the reasons for our unwillingness to communicate, we are cheating ourselves. By "clamming up," we cut ourselves off from the care and support of those who love us.
Honest sharing between individuals opens the way for growth and change. By expressing our thoughts and feelings out loud to another person, we become better able to understand and deal with whatever is bothering us. More important, we deepen our relationships with family and friends when we are willing to communicate on a meaningful level.
Give me courage to communicate.
From Food for Thought: Daily Meditations for Overeaters by Elisabeth L.
©1980, 1992 by Hazelden Foundation.
***************************************************************
The Language of Letting Go
Feeling Good
Make yourself feel good.
It's our job to first make ourselves feel better and then make ourselves feel good. Recovery is not only about stopping painful feelings; it is about creating a good life for ourselves.
We don't have to deny ourselves activities that help us feel good. Going to meetings, basking in the sun, exercising, taking a walk, or spending time with a friend are activities that may help us feel good. We each have our list. If we don't, we're now free to explore, experiment, and develop that list.
When we find a behavior or activity that produces a good feeling, put it on the list. Then, do it frequently.
Let's stop denying ourselves good feelings and start doing things that make us feel good.
Today, I will do one activity or behavior that I know will create a good feeling for me. If I'm uncertain about what I like, I will experiment with one behavior today.
Make yourself feel good.
It's our job to first make ourselves feel better and then make ourselves feel good. Recovery is not only about stopping painful feelings; it is about creating a good life for ourselves.
We don't have to deny ourselves activities that help us feel good. Going to meetings, basking in the sun, exercising, taking a walk, or spending time with a friend are activities that may help us feel good. We each have our list. If we don't, we're now free to explore, experiment, and develop that list.
When we find a behavior or activity that produces a good feeling, put it on the list. Then, do it frequently.
Let's stop denying ourselves good feelings and start doing things that make us feel good.
Today, I will do one activity or behavior that I know will create a good feeling for me. If I'm uncertain about what I like, I will experiment with one behavior today.
From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie
©1990, Hazelden Foundation.
*****************************************************************
Today's thought from Hazelden is:
Three grand essentials to happiness in this life are something to do, something to love, and something to hope for.
--Joseph Addison
Having someone to bestow our love on - a child, friend, or lover, perhaps a pet - will provide us with a time each day for intimacy, a time for sharing affection, a time, which assures us our presence is counted on.
But having someone to love is not all we need for happiness. We must have dreams for the future, reasons for getting out of bed in the present, and the well-earned glow that accompanies past achievements. Dreams lose their glamour if that's all we have. If the reasons for rising don't excite us any longer, or the achievements ring hollow, we'll not come to know the happiness for which we've been created.
Happiness is our birthright so long as we live fully and love truly.
Three grand essentials to happiness in this life are something to do, something to love, and something to hope for.
--Joseph Addison
Having someone to bestow our love on - a child, friend, or lover, perhaps a pet - will provide us with a time each day for intimacy, a time for sharing affection, a time, which assures us our presence is counted on.
But having someone to love is not all we need for happiness. We must have dreams for the future, reasons for getting out of bed in the present, and the well-earned glow that accompanies past achievements. Dreams lose their glamour if that's all we have. If the reasons for rising don't excite us any longer, or the achievements ring hollow, we'll not come to know the happiness for which we've been created.
Happiness is our birthright so long as we live fully and love truly.
You are reading from the book:
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