Recovery Meditations:
April 18, 2015
~ UNCONDITIONAL LOVE
~
The ultimate lesson
all of us have to learn is unconditional love,
which includes not
only others but ourselves as well.
Elisabeth Kubler-Ross
I don't think I knew what unconditional love was before I
came into the program. After all, I had always felt that my mother had only
loved and accepted me conditionally, and that in order for me to receive
approval and love from her, I had to be the best at everything I did. I had to
be at the top of the class, win prizes for ballet and in general be a credit to
her, so that she could bask in the reflected limelight. Perhaps that was only
my perception. But as a result, I wrote a script for myself that, in order to
be loved, accepted and loveable, I had to excel at everything. I became an
overachiever academically, I had to be the best wife, best mother, best cook,
in short, the best everything. No wonder I had to eat to cope with all this
self-inflicted pressure.
The unconditional love and acceptance I received when I
first came into these program rooms was something I had never experienced
before. "Let us love you until you can learn to love yourself," they
said. This was something totally foreign to me. How could I be loveable when I
was fat and bloated? How could they love me when I hated myself for all the
secret eating that caused me to feel totally miserable? But love me they did,
and that was the beginning of my healing. At one stage fairly early in my recovery,
one of my daughters accused me of being so busy going to meetings and doing
courses and learning to love myself, that I was too busy to love them. How
wrong she was! It was only when I had learned enough self- love and approval of
myself, exactly as I was, that I was able to love all my children fully and
unconditionally.
I am now able to love and accept all my children exactly as
they are. None of them are perfect, as I am not, but they are special in their
own right, and I love them for who they are and not for anything they do or
don't do.
One day at a time...
I practice being warm
and accepting of all those I love,
as I accept and love
myself for being who I am today - a child of God
~ Sharon ~
**********************************************************
Each Day a New Beginning
To oppose something is to maintain it.
—Ursula K. LeGuin
Most of our struggles are with other persons or perhaps situations we want to change. We discover that our continual opposition adds fuel to the fires (at least our own internal ones). But can we turn our backs when we feel justified in our opposition? There's perhaps no more difficult action to take than to walk away from those situations we feel so strongly about, but the wisdom of this program says, "Let go and let God." And when we do let go, as if by magic, relief comes. The fires die out. That which we opposed is less troubling, maybe even gone. We no longer feel the need to struggle today. The need may rise again, but again we can turn to our higher power. Trusting that relief awaits us ensures its arrival.
As women we discover many opportunities for opposition, too many persons and situations that make difficult our changing roles - too many persons who don't easily accept our changing characters. The strength to let go and let God we must share with one another.
I maintain my struggles with righteous behavior. They lose their sting when they lose my opposition. I will step aside and let God.
—Ursula K. LeGuin
Most of our struggles are with other persons or perhaps situations we want to change. We discover that our continual opposition adds fuel to the fires (at least our own internal ones). But can we turn our backs when we feel justified in our opposition? There's perhaps no more difficult action to take than to walk away from those situations we feel so strongly about, but the wisdom of this program says, "Let go and let God." And when we do let go, as if by magic, relief comes. The fires die out. That which we opposed is less troubling, maybe even gone. We no longer feel the need to struggle today. The need may rise again, but again we can turn to our higher power. Trusting that relief awaits us ensures its arrival.
As women we discover many opportunities for opposition, too many persons and situations that make difficult our changing roles - too many persons who don't easily accept our changing characters. The strength to let go and let God we must share with one another.
I maintain my struggles with righteous behavior. They lose their sting when they lose my opposition. I will step aside and let God.
From Each Day a New Beginning: Daily Meditations for Women by Karen Casey
© 1982, 1991 by Hazelden Foundation.
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Food for Thought
Caring
"Teach us to care and not to care. Teach us to sit still."
We know that God cares for us and we try to give to those we love the care that He would have us give. But sometimes we become so caught up in our cares and concerns, whether they be for ourselves or for others that we forget to listen to our Higher Power.
In order to work the spiritual part of the program, we need to spend time quietly by ourselves listening to the inner voice. Each day we need a period of time alone when we can get in touch with the center of our being.
When we are tuned in to our Higher Power, we are able to give to those we care for. Our concerns fall into proper perspective, and we are freed from selfish preoccupation. Our actions become more effective and our hearts are more open to the needs of those we love.
Teach us to care.
"Teach us to care and not to care. Teach us to sit still."
We know that God cares for us and we try to give to those we love the care that He would have us give. But sometimes we become so caught up in our cares and concerns, whether they be for ourselves or for others that we forget to listen to our Higher Power.
In order to work the spiritual part of the program, we need to spend time quietly by ourselves listening to the inner voice. Each day we need a period of time alone when we can get in touch with the center of our being.
When we are tuned in to our Higher Power, we are able to give to those we care for. Our concerns fall into proper perspective, and we are freed from selfish preoccupation. Our actions become more effective and our hearts are more open to the needs of those we love.
Teach us to care.
From Food for Thought: Daily Meditations for Overeaters by Elisabeth L.
©1980, 1992 by Hazelden Foundation.
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The Language of Letting Go
Freedom
Many of us were oppressed and victimized as children. As adults, we may continue to keep ourselves oppressed.
Some of us don't recognize that caretaking and not setting boundaries will leave us feeling victimized.
Some of us don't understand that thinking of ourselves as victims will leave us feeling oppressed.
Some of us don't know that we hold the key to our own freedom. That key is honoring ourselves, and taking care of ourselves.
We can say what we mean, and mean what we say.
We can stop waiting for others to give us what we need and take responsibility for ourselves. When we do, the gates to freedom will swing wide.
Walk through.
Today, I will understand that I hold the key to my freedom. I will stop participating in my oppression and victimization. I will take responsibility for myself, and let others do as they may.
Many of us were oppressed and victimized as children. As adults, we may continue to keep ourselves oppressed.
Some of us don't recognize that caretaking and not setting boundaries will leave us feeling victimized.
Some of us don't understand that thinking of ourselves as victims will leave us feeling oppressed.
Some of us don't know that we hold the key to our own freedom. That key is honoring ourselves, and taking care of ourselves.
We can say what we mean, and mean what we say.
We can stop waiting for others to give us what we need and take responsibility for ourselves. When we do, the gates to freedom will swing wide.
Walk through.
Today, I will understand that I hold the key to my freedom. I will stop participating in my oppression and victimization. I will take responsibility for myself, and let others do as they may.
From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie
©1990, Hazelden Foundation.
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Today's thought from Hazelden is:
My father taught me that only through self-discipline
can you achieve freedom.
Pour water into a cup and you can drink.
Without the cup, the water would splash over.
The cup is discipline.
--Ricardo Montalban
It is no accident that the words discipline and disciple come from the same root. To be a disciple of any path, one must be disciplined. Life works best when we learn to discipline ourselves.
Discipline liberates rather than confines you. Discipline allows you to function with ease and grace. After years of practicing his strokes, a tennis player can hit the ball without having to think about it. What once took conscious effort is now second nature.
Unfortunately, many of us had discipline forced upon us as children. Naturally, we rebelled against an externally imposed structure. We were not shown that true discipline always comes from within, and the motivation for that urge is love. When we are doing what we love, when we are pursuing something that has meaning, discipline comes naturally. As one Olympic athlete explained, "I don't mind working out every day. Because I love what I am doing, my training is not a burden but a joy."
Discipline is your ticket to freedom and path to excellence. Choose to be disciplined in all your endeavors and become the master of yourself and your life.
My father taught me that only through self-discipline
can you achieve freedom.
Pour water into a cup and you can drink.
Without the cup, the water would splash over.
The cup is discipline.
--Ricardo Montalban
It is no accident that the words discipline and disciple come from the same root. To be a disciple of any path, one must be disciplined. Life works best when we learn to discipline ourselves.
Discipline liberates rather than confines you. Discipline allows you to function with ease and grace. After years of practicing his strokes, a tennis player can hit the ball without having to think about it. What once took conscious effort is now second nature.
Unfortunately, many of us had discipline forced upon us as children. Naturally, we rebelled against an externally imposed structure. We were not shown that true discipline always comes from within, and the motivation for that urge is love. When we are doing what we love, when we are pursuing something that has meaning, discipline comes naturally. As one Olympic athlete explained, "I don't mind working out every day. Because I love what I am doing, my training is not a burden but a joy."
Discipline is your ticket to freedom and path to excellence. Choose to be disciplined in all your endeavors and become the master of yourself and your life.
You are reading from the book:
Thank you.
ReplyDeleteDeb