Recovery
Meditations: February 13th
ADMITTING MISTAKES
"A man should never be ashamed
to own he has been in the wrong,
which is but saying, in other words,
that he is wiser today than he was
yesterday."
Alexander Pope
Most of my life I had spent in
blaming others for all the bad things that happened in my life, and I never
learned to take responsibility for my part in anything. I thought that life had
treated me unfairly, but mostly it was because someone else had wronged me. I
wallowed in self-pity and justifiable anger, and not surprisingly, I found
comfort in food so I could get through the pain of being treated so badly by
others.
When I came into the program and
began working the steps, I was horrified to learn that I was expected to do a
searching and fearless inventory of my wrongdoings, for after all wasn't it
others who had harmed me and not the other way around? Slowly I realized that I
had a part to play in all the events in my life, and that only by clearing up
the wreckage of my past and keeping my side of the street clean, did I have any
hope of recovery. I had to swallow my pride and admit when I was wrong, and
when I did that, miracles began to happen. Instead of feeling hard done by and
bad about myself as I had thought I would, the exact opposite happened, and I
started on a journey of growth and increasing self- esteem that never ceases to
surprise me. When I am able to admit that I'm wrong and apologize for my part
in any conflict or misunderstanding, without expectation of anything back from
the other person, I strengthen my recovery in this program.
One day at a time ...
I will admit my mistakes whether I
believe that the fault is mine or not, because that is the way that I grow in
my recovery.
Sharon
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Twenty Four Hours a Day Hardcover (24 Hours)
Thought for the Day
Sometimes we can't help thinking: Why can't we ever drink again? We know it's because we're alcoholics, but why did we have to get that way? The answer is that at some time in our drinking careers, we passed what is called our "tolerance point." When we passed this point, we passed from a condition in which we could tolerate alcohol to a condition in which we could not tolerate it at all. After that, if we took one drink, we would sooner or later end up drunk. When I think of liquor now, do I think of it as something that I can never tolerate again?
Meditation for the Day
In a race, it is when the goal is in sight that heart and nerves and muscles and courage are strained almost to the breaking point. So with us, the goal of the spiritual life is in sight. All we need is the final effort. The saddest records are made by people who ran well, with brave, stout hearts, until the sight of the goal and then some weakness or self-indulgence held them back. They never knew how near the goal they were or how near they were to victory.
Prayer for the Day
I pray that I may press on until the goal is reached. I pray that I may not give up in the final stretch.
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Sometimes we can't help thinking: Why can't we ever drink again? We know it's because we're alcoholics, but why did we have to get that way? The answer is that at some time in our drinking careers, we passed what is called our "tolerance point." When we passed this point, we passed from a condition in which we could tolerate alcohol to a condition in which we could not tolerate it at all. After that, if we took one drink, we would sooner or later end up drunk. When I think of liquor now, do I think of it as something that I can never tolerate again?
Meditation for the Day
In a race, it is when the goal is in sight that heart and nerves and muscles and courage are strained almost to the breaking point. So with us, the goal of the spiritual life is in sight. All we need is the final effort. The saddest records are made by people who ran well, with brave, stout hearts, until the sight of the goal and then some weakness or self-indulgence held them back. They never knew how near the goal they were or how near they were to victory.
Prayer for the Day
I pray that I may press on until the goal is reached. I pray that I may not give up in the final stretch.
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Each Day a New Beginning
I have sacrificed everything in my life that I consider precious in order to advance the political career of my husband.
—Pat Nixon
Putting another person's needs first is what most of us were trained to do when growing up. We were seldom encouraged to embark on an individual course, and years of taking a back seat taught us that our hopes mattered little.
—Pat Nixon
Putting another person's needs first is what most of us were trained to do when growing up. We were seldom encouraged to embark on an individual course, and years of taking a back seat taught us that our hopes mattered little.
Now, for some of us, the future looks like a
blank wall. It is time to carve out a plan for ourselves, yet how do we
decide where we want to go? And how do we get there? The program says,
"Live one day at a time." Our friends say, "Take one step at a time."
We have chosen to do something about the
circumstances we found ourselves in, or we wouldn't be reading these
words. We can stop for a moment and reflect on the many changes thus
far. We are already on our way. We have taken a number of necessary
steps. What an exciting adventure we have embarked upon!
And we will be
helped all along the way.
We can trust our inner yearnings, the ones we may
have stifled in times past. We can realize our hearts' pure desires, if
we seek guidance.
My time has come. I can mold my future. I will take each day, each experience, and let it draw me to the next important step.
From Each Day a New Beginning: Daily Meditations for Women by Karen Casey
© 1982, 1991 by Hazelden Foundation
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Food for Thought
Being Honest
During our compulsive overeating careers, many of us have been dishonest with others about what we were eating. Some of us have been closet eaters and some of us have stolen food. Most of us have eaten more when we were alone than when we were with other people.
We have almost surely been dishonest with ourselves, too. How many times have we promised ourselves to stick to a diet, only to find ourselves cheating a short time later? We tell ourselves that one small bite won't make any difference, when deep down we know that we intend to eat many more bites than one.
When we take inventory, and as our insights are sharpened, we may discover other areas besides eating where we have not been honest with ourselves.
The OA program gives us a chance to practice rigorous honesty, especially with ourselves. The light from our Higher Power will gradually clear away our confusion and darkness.
May I not be afraid to know the truth.
During our compulsive overeating careers, many of us have been dishonest with others about what we were eating. Some of us have been closet eaters and some of us have stolen food. Most of us have eaten more when we were alone than when we were with other people.
We have almost surely been dishonest with ourselves, too. How many times have we promised ourselves to stick to a diet, only to find ourselves cheating a short time later? We tell ourselves that one small bite won't make any difference, when deep down we know that we intend to eat many more bites than one.
When we take inventory, and as our insights are sharpened, we may discover other areas besides eating where we have not been honest with ourselves.
The OA program gives us a chance to practice rigorous honesty, especially with ourselves. The light from our Higher Power will gradually clear away our confusion and darkness.
May I not be afraid to know the truth.
From Food for Thought: Daily Meditations for Overeaters by Elisabeth L.
©1980, 1992 by Hazelden Foundation.
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The Language of Letting Go
Trusting Ourselves
What a great gift we've been given - ourselves. To listen to ourselves, to trust instinct and intuition, is to pay tribute to that gift.
What a great gift we've been given - ourselves. To listen to ourselves, to trust instinct and intuition, is to pay tribute to that gift.
What a disservice not to heed the leadings and
leanings that so naturally arise from within. When will we learn that
these leadings and leanings draw us into God's rich plan for us?
We will learn. We will learn by listening,
trusting, and following through. What is it time to do?... What do I
need to do to take care of myself?... What am I being led to do?... What
do I know?
Listen, and we will know. Listen to the voice within.
Today, I will listen and trust. I will be helped to take action when that is needed. I can trust God and myself.
From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie
©1990, Hazelden Foundation
My dear, dedicated body,
From this moment forward, I vow to feed you with clean food and positive thoughts. I will water you religiously. I'll seek nourishment for your physical form, but also for the spirit you so tirelessly protect. I will strive to understand you, in all your delicate complexities, so that I may serve you into your old age.
From this moment on, I will hold in my heart that you are doing your best for me, and I will not expect more. From this moment on, we are a team and I will repay your best with my best: and we will be brave together.
With deepest gratitude,
Me
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Today's thought from the Hazelden Betty Ford Foundation is:
Recovery is about more than walking away. Sometimes it means learning to stay and deal. It's about building and maintaining relationships that work.
--Beyond Codependency
Problems and conflicts are parts of life and relationships - with friends, family, loved ones, and at work. Problem solving and conflict negotiation are skills we can acquire and improve with time.
Not being willing to tackle and solve problems in relationships leads to unresolved feelings of anger and victimization, terminated relationships, unresolved problems, and power plays that intensify the problem and waste time and energy.
Not being willing to face and solve problems means we may run into that problem again.
Some problems with people cannot be worked out in mutually satisfactory ways. Sometimes the problem is a boundary issue we have, and there is not room to negotiate. In that case, we need to clearly understand what we want and need and what our bottom line is.
Some problems with people, though, can be worked out, worked through, and satisfactorily negotiated. To negotiate problems, we must be willing to identify the problem, let go of blame and shame, and focus on possible creative solutions. To successfully negotiate and solve problems in relationships, we must have a sense of our bottom line and our boundary issues, so we don't waste time trying to negotiate non-negotiable issues.
We need to learn to identify what both people really want and need and the different possibilities for working that out. We can learn to be flexible without being too flexible.
Today, I will be open to negotiating conflicts I have with people. I will strive for balance without being too submissive or too demanding. I will strive for appropriate flexibility in my problem solving efforts.
Me
**************************************************************
Today's thought from the Hazelden Betty Ford Foundation is:
Recovery is about more than walking away. Sometimes it means learning to stay and deal. It's about building and maintaining relationships that work.
--Beyond Codependency
Problems and conflicts are parts of life and relationships - with friends, family, loved ones, and at work. Problem solving and conflict negotiation are skills we can acquire and improve with time.
Not being willing to tackle and solve problems in relationships leads to unresolved feelings of anger and victimization, terminated relationships, unresolved problems, and power plays that intensify the problem and waste time and energy.
Not being willing to face and solve problems means we may run into that problem again.
Some problems with people cannot be worked out in mutually satisfactory ways. Sometimes the problem is a boundary issue we have, and there is not room to negotiate. In that case, we need to clearly understand what we want and need and what our bottom line is.
Some problems with people, though, can be worked out, worked through, and satisfactorily negotiated. To negotiate problems, we must be willing to identify the problem, let go of blame and shame, and focus on possible creative solutions. To successfully negotiate and solve problems in relationships, we must have a sense of our bottom line and our boundary issues, so we don't waste time trying to negotiate non-negotiable issues.
We need to learn to identify what both people really want and need and the different possibilities for working that out. We can learn to be flexible without being too flexible.
Today, I will be open to negotiating conflicts I have with people. I will strive for balance without being too submissive or too demanding. I will strive for appropriate flexibility in my problem solving efforts.
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