REDISCOVERY
“When you come right down to it,
the secret of having it all is loving it all.”
Dr. Joyce Brothers
In dealing with compulsive eating issues, we tend to lose ourselves to the darkness of low self-esteem and self-criticism. We are our own worst enemies and we don't know how to nurture ourselves. We don't like who we have become. We feel like failures to ourselves and to all of those around us.
In working through the program, we learn to surrender and to accept the things we cannot change. We gain wisdom and strength. As we learn to take care of ourselves, we begin to feel good. We become self-aware. We recognize our needs and work aggressively to make sure they are being fulfilled.
We realize that we can choose how to react to the things around us. We accept our true selves, we voice our opinions, and we make changes. We realize that people do accept us the way we are and we don't have to hide anymore. For the first time, we are able to re-discover our true identity.
One day at a time...
I learn something new about myself. I accept myself for who I am as I surrender myself to my Higher Power. I prioritize my needs and all of the responsibilities in my life. I find the courage to change the things I can, and I accept the things I cannot. I look in the mirror and, with each passing day in recovery, I like who I see.
~ Lori
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Each Day a New Beginning
I long to speak out the intense inspiration that comes to me from lives of strong women.
—Ruth Benedict
Each day that we thoughtfully make choices about our behavior and our attitudes, we offer ourselves as examples to others - examples of strength.
As women on recovery paths, we find encouragement from one another's successes. No one of us met our experiences very successfully before discovering this program. In most cases we lacked the structure that comes with the Steps. Direction was missing from our lives. Too often we passively bounced from man to man, job to job, drunk to drunk.
When working the Steps, we are never in doubt about the manner for proceeding in any situation. The Steps provide the parameters that secure our growth. They help us to see where we've been and push us toward the goals, which crowd our dreams.
We have changed. We will continue to grow. The past need haunt us no more. The future can be faced with confidence. Whatever strength is needed to fulfill our destinies will find us. And our forward steps will make the way easier for the women who follow.
What a blessing these Steps are! They answer my every question. They fulfill my every need.
—Ruth Benedict
Each day that we thoughtfully make choices about our behavior and our attitudes, we offer ourselves as examples to others - examples of strength.
As women on recovery paths, we find encouragement from one another's successes. No one of us met our experiences very successfully before discovering this program. In most cases we lacked the structure that comes with the Steps. Direction was missing from our lives. Too often we passively bounced from man to man, job to job, drunk to drunk.
When working the Steps, we are never in doubt about the manner for proceeding in any situation. The Steps provide the parameters that secure our growth. They help us to see where we've been and push us toward the goals, which crowd our dreams.
We have changed. We will continue to grow. The past need haunt us no more. The future can be faced with confidence. Whatever strength is needed to fulfill our destinies will find us. And our forward steps will make the way easier for the women who follow.
What a blessing these Steps are! They answer my every question. They fulfill my every need.
From Each Day a New Beginning: Daily Meditations for Women by Karen Casey
© 1982, 1991 by Hazelden Foundation.
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book Food for Thought
Understanding
The understanding, which we gain through the OA program, is a source of constant amazement and gratitude. First, we begin to understand our illness. Then, we grow in understanding of others and ourselves. Finally, our eyes are opened more and more to the spiritual aspects of our existence.
Hearing someone else's story gives us insight into our own behavior. We act as mirrors, reflecting each other's problems and solutions. As we act, we are given greater understanding of why we do what we do and how we may function better. In order to gain more understanding, we must first act on the knowledge we have. Intellectual awareness alone will not enable us to control our disease.
The empathy and understanding, which we receive from fellow OA members, give us the strength and hope to recover. We begin to see where our attitudes were wrong and how to go about correcting them. As we acknowledge the Power greater than ourselves and give our lives over to Him, we open a new channel of spiritual insight and understanding.
May I understand.
The understanding, which we gain through the OA program, is a source of constant amazement and gratitude. First, we begin to understand our illness. Then, we grow in understanding of others and ourselves. Finally, our eyes are opened more and more to the spiritual aspects of our existence.
Hearing someone else's story gives us insight into our own behavior. We act as mirrors, reflecting each other's problems and solutions. As we act, we are given greater understanding of why we do what we do and how we may function better. In order to gain more understanding, we must first act on the knowledge we have. Intellectual awareness alone will not enable us to control our disease.
The empathy and understanding, which we receive from fellow OA members, give us the strength and hope to recover. We begin to see where our attitudes were wrong and how to go about correcting them. As we acknowledge the Power greater than ourselves and give our lives over to Him, we open a new channel of spiritual insight and understanding.
May I understand.
From Food for Thought: Daily Meditations for Overeaters by Elisabeth L.
©1980, 1992 by Hazelden Foundation.
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The Language of Letting Go
Revenge
No matter how long we've been recovering, no matter how solid our spiritual ground, we may still feel an overwhelming desire at times to punish, or get even, with another person.
We want revenge.
We want to see the other person hurt the way he or she has hurt us. We want to see life deal that person just rewards. In fact, we would like to help life out.
Those are normal feelings, but we do not have to act on them. These feelings are part of our anger but it's not our job to deal justice.
We can allow ourselves to feel the anger. It is helpful to go one step deeper and let ourselves feel the other feelings - the hurt, the pain, the anguish. But our goal is to release the feelings, and be finished with them.
We can hold the other person accountable. We can hold the other person responsible. But it is not our responsibility to be judge and jury. Actively seeking revenge will not help us. It will block us and hold us back.
Walk away. Stop playing the game. Unhook. Learn your lesson. Thank the other person for having taught you something valuable. And be finished with it. Put it behind, with the lesson intact.
Acceptance helps. So does forgiveness - not the kind that invites that person to use us again, but a forgiveness that releases the other person and sets him or her free to walk a separate path, while releasing our anger and resentments. That sets us free to walk our own path.
Today, I will be as angry as I need to be, with a goal of finishing my business with others. Once I have released my hurt and anger, I will strive for healthy forgiveness - forgiveness with boundaries. I understand that boundaries, coupled with forgiveness and compassion, will move me forward.
No matter how long we've been recovering, no matter how solid our spiritual ground, we may still feel an overwhelming desire at times to punish, or get even, with another person.
We want revenge.
We want to see the other person hurt the way he or she has hurt us. We want to see life deal that person just rewards. In fact, we would like to help life out.
Those are normal feelings, but we do not have to act on them. These feelings are part of our anger but it's not our job to deal justice.
We can allow ourselves to feel the anger. It is helpful to go one step deeper and let ourselves feel the other feelings - the hurt, the pain, the anguish. But our goal is to release the feelings, and be finished with them.
We can hold the other person accountable. We can hold the other person responsible. But it is not our responsibility to be judge and jury. Actively seeking revenge will not help us. It will block us and hold us back.
Walk away. Stop playing the game. Unhook. Learn your lesson. Thank the other person for having taught you something valuable. And be finished with it. Put it behind, with the lesson intact.
Acceptance helps. So does forgiveness - not the kind that invites that person to use us again, but a forgiveness that releases the other person and sets him or her free to walk a separate path, while releasing our anger and resentments. That sets us free to walk our own path.
Today, I will be as angry as I need to be, with a goal of finishing my business with others. Once I have released my hurt and anger, I will strive for healthy forgiveness - forgiveness with boundaries. I understand that boundaries, coupled with forgiveness and compassion, will move me forward.
From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie
©1990, Hazelden Foundation
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He's making me crazy. I don't understand. Why would someone say they were going to do one thing, then do something so different from what they say? He looks so good and talks so good. His promises sound so, so real, but then everything falls apart. Then about the time I'm ready to blow a gasket, he calls, charms my socks off, and the whole cycle starts over again. I walk away, scratching my head and wondering, What's wrong with me? Did I just imagine this whole thing? Did I overact? I don't get it, I don't understand.
Maybe it's time for an Al-Anon meeting.
And when we're talking on the phone, I feel like I'm the only one for him. But then when I see him, I know he's lying to me. I know he's seeing someone else and standing there looking me right in the eyes and lying about it. I don't understand why I feel so insane.
Maybe it's time for an Al-Anon meeting.
And then I catch him straight-out lying to me, and I blow up. I just can't stand that lying stuff, especially when I knew all the time he was lying to me and he denied it. I put up with it and put up with it and then finally I can't take it anymore. By the time I blow up, he's standing there looking calm and serene and I'm acting like an insane person.
It's not you, It's him. How about that meeting?
Oh yeah. That Al-Anon meeting.
"Step One: Powerless over people, places, and things. My life has become unmanageable." Take a deep breath. Say it again. Then say it one more time.
Detach in love. Disentangle. Un-embroil yourself from other people's insanity so you can be restored to sanity. It's a value many of us learned the hard way.
You are reading from the book:
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