LOVE
“Love yourself first and everything else falls into line.
You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.”
Lucille Ball
It took me a long time to learn what love truly means. I thought love included pleasing others, saying “yes” when I meant “no,” swallowing my true feelings and putting myself last. What I didn’t know is that I was practicing resentment, anger, fear, jealousy and everything but love. I could not love others because I did not love myself.
Then I decided to take care of myself first. I considered no one but me, took care of myself, (or so I thought) while actually alienating myself from those close to me. I ate compulsively to tame the self-loathing I felt inside. And I loathed myself because I did not treat myself with real love and kindness.
Today I know that loving myself must come first. If I love myself, I am better able to love everyone in my life because I do things from a place of honesty. If I treat myself with respect, I treat others with respect. Everyone wins when I love myself enough to accept myself, flaws and all.
One day at a time ...
I will ask my Higher Power for the
ability to accept and love myself for where I
am this day, knowing I am a work in progress like a
tree that grows from self-care and nurturing.
~ Melissa
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Each Day a New Beginning
No person is your enemy, no person is your friend, and every person is your teacher.
—Florence Scovel Shinn
We can open ourselves to opportunities today. They abound in our lives. No circumstance we find ourselves in is detrimental to our progress. No relationship with someone at work or at home is superfluous to our development. Teachers are everywhere. And as we become ready for a new lesson, one will appear.
We can marvel at the wonder of our lives today. We can reflect on our yesterdays and be grateful for the lessons they taught. We can look with hopeful anticipation at the days ahead - gifts, all of them. We are on a special journey, serving a special purpose, uniquely our own. No barrier, no difficult person, no tumultuous time is designed to interrupt our progress. All experiences are simply to teach us what we have yet to learn.
Trusting in the goodness of all people, all situations, all paths to progress will release whatever our fears, freeing us to go forth with a quicker step and an assurance that eases all moments.
The Twelve Steps help us to recognize the teachers in our lives. They help us clear away the baggage of the past and free us to accept and trust the will of God, made known to us by the teachers as they appear.
I am a student of life. I can learn only if I open my mind to my teachers.
From Each Day a New Beginning: Daily Meditations for Women by Karen Casey © 1982, 1991 by Hazelden Foundation.
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Food for Thought
Carrying the Message
We do not keep our program unless we give it away. Our participation in meetings is a means of sharing with others what OA has given us. We are genuinely interested in newcomers, because they remind us of where we came from and because they give us an opportunity to strengthen our own program by sharing what we have received.
Sometimes we carry the message by providing transportation for someone who otherwise would not get to a meeting. Sometimes we give of ourselves by simply listening when a newcomer needs to talk. Practicing the OA principles in all areas of our life is carrying the message, even to those who are not compulsive overeaters.
Abstinence and the OA program now occupy the central place in our lives, the place which was once held by food. Following the will of our Higher Power means that we carry the message as He directs us. We are willing to be used in whatever way God moves us to give away our program.
May I serve You by carrying the message.
We do not keep our program unless we give it away. Our participation in meetings is a means of sharing with others what OA has given us. We are genuinely interested in newcomers, because they remind us of where we came from and because they give us an opportunity to strengthen our own program by sharing what we have received.
Sometimes we carry the message by providing transportation for someone who otherwise would not get to a meeting. Sometimes we give of ourselves by simply listening when a newcomer needs to talk. Practicing the OA principles in all areas of our life is carrying the message, even to those who are not compulsive overeaters.
Abstinence and the OA program now occupy the central place in our lives, the place which was once held by food. Following the will of our Higher Power means that we carry the message as He directs us. We are willing to be used in whatever way God moves us to give away our program.
May I serve You by carrying the message.
From Food for Thought: Daily Meditations for Overeaters by Elisabeth L.
©1980, 1992 by Hazelden Foundation.
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The Language of Letting Go
Healing
We should learn not to grow impatient with the slow healing process of time. We should discipline ourselves to recognize that there are many steps to be taken along the highway leading from sorrow to renewed serenity... We should anticipate these stages in our emotional convalescence: unbearable pain, poignant grief, empty days, resistance to consolation, disinterestedness in life, gradually giving way . . . to the new weaving of a pattern of action and the acceptance of the irresistible challenge of life.
—Joshua Loth Liebman
Recovery is a process. It is a gradual process, a healing process, and a spiritual process - a journey rather than a destination.
Just as codependency takes on a life of its own and is progressive, so recovery progresses. One thing leads to another and things - as well as us - get better.
We can relax, do our part, and let the rest happen.
Today, I will trust this process and this journey that I have undertaken.
We should learn not to grow impatient with the slow healing process of time. We should discipline ourselves to recognize that there are many steps to be taken along the highway leading from sorrow to renewed serenity... We should anticipate these stages in our emotional convalescence: unbearable pain, poignant grief, empty days, resistance to consolation, disinterestedness in life, gradually giving way . . . to the new weaving of a pattern of action and the acceptance of the irresistible challenge of life.
—Joshua Loth Liebman
Recovery is a process. It is a gradual process, a healing process, and a spiritual process - a journey rather than a destination.
Just as codependency takes on a life of its own and is progressive, so recovery progresses. One thing leads to another and things - as well as us - get better.
We can relax, do our part, and let the rest happen.
Today, I will trust this process and this journey that I have undertaken.
From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie
©1990, Hazelden Foundation
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No person could save another.
--Joyce Carol Oates
We encounter the experiences we need in our lives. It's sometimes hard to believe that when we're grappling with disappointment, anger, or loss. Yet everything that comes our way is material for our growth.
Many of us entertain a fantasy that some person can complete us. We don't believe that we're complete in ourselves. Only when we do will we become able to share in a life-enhancing partnership with another person. Only when we love ourselves can we love others realistically, instead of seeing them as fantasy figures, projections of our own desire.
No one can hurt us emotionally unless we allow the hurt. We're full partners in everything that we do, and taking responsibility for our actions and our desires is our first step toward being fully lovable.
The only one who can save me is me.
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